on 3/16/2000 7:57 PM, Kevin D. Hammel <kevinsff@pacbell.net> wrote:
Lots!
Wow, Kevin, thanks! I had fun reading your comments.
Ummm, I have to admit I wasn't sure when you were suggesting changes, so if
there is anything you think needs work (other than the typo you mention)
could you be a little more explicit? I need things spelled out sometimes...
]] This one is harder for me to take. There are many martial
]] arts challenges ahead. I think Ranko must decide that the
]] Art is HERS, not Genma's. That it is important.
As you will see from Part 3, which Steve is posting tonight, I am taking
things in a different direction. For me, this was a story about personal
change and growth, and there are some radical changes. I'll be interested to
discuss this with everyone after you've digested Part 3. If necessary, I'll
explain my thinking if it's not clear from the story (I did try to explain
it there...).
]] Making up for being left out of Doco, eh?
I hadn't thought of that. :-)
]] I always wondered how Nodoka survived with no visible
]] income...
Manganomics.
]] Hmmm... Ranma goes to the beach more than once in canon.
]] I presume the struggle is due to the changed situation.
Oops. Well, uhhh, uhhh, it's a new suit! That's right. Cut differently from
the last one. Much harder to get into. Yup.
Ryouga was enraged. "Fight me, Ranma! You coward! How can you
call yourself a man?"
]] Actually, SHE doesn't!
Since when does that matter? :-)
]] CUTE turn of events... But, Ranko HAS to get her confidence
]] in the Art back. I just don't see HER as screaming
]] kidnap bait...
I don't see her as kidnap bait either. But things will not be the same as
they were before.
]] Awfully Observant, Akane. Notice anything peculiar about
]] RYOUGA'S BANDANA???
Everyone needs a blind spot.
]] He HAS to come clean some day... Not make P-chan go away,
]] but ADMIT to it.
Hmmm. I'll think about this.
]] How would YOU feel, Akane?
Please don't go there. She already said earlier she doesn't like girls that
way.
"Ranko-chan,
ganbatte kudasai!" They looked back at her with affection, and
she felt her spirits lift. A smile came to her face.
]] UH... translation please? Sometime Japanese provides
]] a nice decorative touch, but I'd like to know what
]] sign says...
I'm sorry. I thought this one was well known from Maison Ikkoku. It's an
encouragement, like "Go for it!" or "You can do it!" or "Good luck!". It's
the polite form. Here I meant it mostly as "You can do it!". You'll often
hear people shouting out "Ganbatte!" (a little less polite) to encourage
people. Literally, it means "Strive!"
Thanks again for the C&C. I hope everyone likes Part 3.
Deborah