-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: owd05.txt
DISCLAIMER: I deny it! And I deny that, too! And that other thing? I deny it as well!
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Our Wedding Day - Part 5
By Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
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Nabiki waved good bye to Conditioner as she left Ryoga on
the doorstep of the Nekohanten.
"Take care of Lost Boy there, or you won't see Youba-chan
until you're sixteen or something."
"Hey, I'm getting better!" Ryoga replied.
"Sure, sure. So long!"
Ryoga turned and discovered Shampoo standing in the doorway,
an expression of mild piss-off on her pretty face.
"Hi, Shampoo," he grinned, scratching the back of his head.
"Sorry I'm late."
She snatched the baby from his carrier and held the infant
tightly against her chest, murmuring and cooing over him.
After making sure Conditioner wasn't traumatized, she turned
to Ryoga and said, "BAD AIREN! BAD AIREN! BAD BAD AIREN!"
while swatting him with a newspaper. "You know where you
going?!"
"The highway to hell?" he asked, shrunken under her wrath.
"{No! You're going to sleep in the stockroom!}"
Ryoga was shocked. He'd been sleeping on a futon in her room
- something about an "old Amazon custom". He felt like he
was being kicked out.
After all, the stockroom was where *Mousse* used to sleep,
and Shampoo despised Mousse.
Ryoga spent the next half-hour or so trying to locate the
stockroom, briefly stopping at a quaint inn in Marsailles
for some fish soup. Once at his destination, as he lay down
his bed-roll, he thought about Shampoo's anger.
Would she trust him again? Would she reconsider wanting him
around? Would she kick him out?
Ranma's words came back to him ... "it ain't 'if you can
stand being with them', it's 'if you can't stand being
without them'."
He'd lived without Shampoo most of his life ... surely he
could live without her again ... couldn't he?
He didn't know the answer to that, and was afraid to find
out.
Ryoga spent the rest of the night staring at the darkness.
* * * * * * * * * *
Cologne stared into the water, seeing the Saotome boy and
his girl, sleeping in each other's arms.
Excellent; the activity they'd just participated in would
make him highly suggestive.
[Ranma felt Akane's strong hands grabbing his wrists,
pushing him down. Her tongue probed his mouth, and her
pelvis ground against him. He was pinned down underneath his
wife, and he felt helpless and wonderful.]
[He felt the joining, the gripping, and moaned as the
sensations overwhelmed him.]
[He looked up in the half-light ... and saw Ranko.]
[She was sweating and moving, groaning in pleasure. He
wondered how she'd taken Akane's place, but was soon
drwoning in the sensation, the building feeling ...]
Ranma's eyes snapped open.
The light from the window was just enough to illuminate
Akane's features.
He briefly wondered if he should go to Ko-chan, but guilt
shoved that thought out of his head. Besides, the *Need* was
upon him.
He roughly forced Akane onto her back and mounted her. The
attempt at entry awoke her.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"What does it look like, hentai-chan?" he said in a deep
voice.
She smiled a nasty smile. "Okay ... otemba-kun." She grabbed
him and rolled over, pinning him under her.
"Now, naughty boy," she said, "you're gonna learn to do it
*right*!"
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko pushed the covers off, finding herself in a strange
bed. She felt around until her eyes focused on a digital
clock reading just past ten in the evening. She had been
sleeping all afternoon and evening and then ... *this* dream
filling her mind.
Ranko wiped the sweat from her forehead, stumbling up and
out of the room, discovering she occupied Akane's old room.
She looked and listened up and down the hall - Nabiki not
home, Ranma and Akane doing Naughty Things in their room (a
twinge of jealousy rippled through her) - and most likely
Kasumi being the one in the bathroom.
She crossed the hall and entered the bathroom, hearing
Kasumi hum to herself. She joined in the melody to announce
her presence as she stripped out of her sweat-soaked skirt
and shirt and entered the bathing room.
"Hello there, sleepyhead," Kasumi chirped.
Ranko stuck her tongue out in distaste. "How can you stand
being so damned perky?"
The eldest Tendo daughter giggled. "You're the one who's
perky."
Ranko looked down, blushing, seeing the after-effects of the
dream still holding her flesh captive. "About that ... "
She turned the shower on full blast cold water, letting it
soak her completely into male form. Ranko-kun started
shivering as he turned the water off and went to scrubbing
himself.
He looked up to see Kasumi with bugged eyes, seeing the
Ranma-male-form so casually displayed.
"Kasumi-chan?"
"You think Jiro's got that ... THAT??"
She looked dowm; it seemed that the effects of arousal
carried over between forms.
Ranko-kun facefaulted between blushings. "Well, I've seen
Ryoga; seems to be a family trait." He chuckled. "No wonder
Ichiro's got such a track record."
"Just wondering ... "
He nodded, grinning, and continued, "You're the only one I
trust completely here, that knows everything ... "
He stopped, giggling.
"What is it?" Kasumi asked.
"Something occurred to me - would Jiro kill me if he found
out I was in the bath with you while I'm in my male form?"
Kasumi blushed and giggled. "I have no objections," she
replied.
"Still ... " he chuckled, entering the furo. He disappeared
under the water for a moment as Kasumi marveled at the
change in genders through the water.
Ranko broke through the water, catching her breath and
leaning back against the wall.
"Kasumi-chan?"
"What is it?"
"I'm really mixed up right now."
Kasumi leaned back, nodding. "Talk to me, Ko-chan."
"After what happened with Ono and that freaky ex of his ...
and him not helping me ... and then Niichan and Akane ... do
you know they're doing it right now?"
"Yes. The same thing they were doing last night. Nabiki kept
hitting their wall and telling them to quiet down. Rather
distracting."
Ranko nodded, staring at the water. "I'm ... I'm jealous."
"Jealous? Of them being together?"
"Of Akane having Ranma."
Kasumi digested this. She had known for ages that Ko-chan
was in love with Ranma, that she wanted above anything to be
his wife and keep him safe from everyone forever. Both knew
it was impossible ... now, after weeks of being apart, the
need was presenting itself again.
She had hoped that Doctor Tofu would distract Ranko from
interrupting Ranma and Akane's courtship until the two were
ready together. It was that time, but the Tofu distraction
only worked for a few days.
"You want Ranma-kun for your own again, hm?"
"Not just for my own; to love him! To share flesh! To be his
lover in all aspects of the word as we once were!" Ranko
inhaled deeply, sighing. "But never the twain shall meet. In
a sense, I also envy that mirror slut that copied Niichan's
female form."
"How?"
"She tried!"
Kasumi giggled. "She also called Akane 'Fat Girl' as well as
kissed Ryoga-kun and and raised havoc. Not to mention
scaring Father by greeting everyone while only wearing an
apron."
Ranko cracked up. "I *loved* that look on his face! Wish I
thought of it."
Kasumi sobered and asked, "So what made you decide you
wanted Ranma-kun again?"
"Lonliness? A naughty dream that woke me up because of its
intensity?" Her mouth made a crooked smile. "Emotional
vunerability because of that four-eyed geek's past?"
"Akane will kill you. She was suspicious before and now
she's just accepted that nothing ever happened between you
two."
"What am I supposed to do, Kasumi?" she cried, ignoring the
door opening. "Go up to Akane and say 'Oneechan, Ranma and I
were lovers, and I'd like to pick up where we left off'?"
"Oh, dear," a female voice commented.
Ranko gasped, turning to see Nodoka in the doorway, ready to
join them in the bath. The older woman was as white as a
sheet, having just overheard the last sentence.
"Nodoka, it's not what you think - " Ranko began.
"No, it's none of my business," Nodoka shook her head. "I'll
let you two talk ... "
"Don't be silly, auntie Nodoka," Kasumi stated. "Come back
in and join us. We were talking about Doctor Tofu."
Nodoka appeared to accept this explanation and went to
attend to her own cold water scrub.
"What a cowardly male!" she commented. "Leaving you like
that! Don't worry, we made short work of him."
"Huh?" Ranko asked.
"Oh? Kasumi hasn't told you? Your brothers, Akane, Nabiki,
and I went to talk to him - "
"Not 'talk', Auntie Nodoka - 'beat up'."
Ranko blinked. "You guys ... went and ... "
"We left him conscious," her mother replied, slipping into
the furo.
Ranko stood up, furious. "HOW COULD YOU?!? HE'S *MY*
BOYFRIEND, AND *I'M* THE ONLY ONE WHO BEATS HIM UP!!"
Nodoka looked flustered. "Actually, Ranma didn't think you'd
mind -"
<ZOOM!!!> <CRASH!!>
Nodoka and Kasumi looked at the Ranko-shaped hole where the
door formally was, and privately thanked their deities that
they were on the opposite side of the house from the soon-
to-occur bloodbath.
Ranko kicked the door in and stomped up to the bed. "RANMA!
HOW COULD YOU?!?"
"Um ... could we ... discuss this later, Ko-chan? I'm kinda
busy now ..."
"No! Akane - let him up!"
"No!" Akane grunted. "I'm not - UH! - finished!"
Ranko picked Akane up off her brother (causing a sucking
sound) and tossed her on the other side of the bed.
"HEY!" the couple exclaimed.
Ranko dragged Ranma out of the bed by his ear and out in the
hall.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? TRYING TO TAKE OVER MY DAMN
LIFE???" she yelled.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???" he shouted back.
"Nodoka just told me you guys went to beat up Ono!"
"Yeah, he deserved it!" Ranma stood up to his full height,
trying to dominate her into backing down.
She refused. "That's my job! Not yours! I can take care of
that bastard myself!"
Something else also happened; her body reacted to the fact
they were both nude, both fighting, and Ranma was still ...
oh my. She felt the throbbing between her thighs, reminding
her of the dream.
<If I weren't so hell bent on proving my point, I'd trip him
and do something like Akane was doing ... >
Ranma gazed down at his sister, noticing things that he'd
never have noticed before Akane; signs of arousal. She was
as turned on as he was.
He briefly had a thought of pushing her down and finishing
what he'd begun with Akane.
Akane, meanwhile, somewhat annoyed at being interrupted like
that, was approaching Ranko from the side, with a HUMONGOUS
mallet.
"YAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Akane commented calmly.
<WHAM!!> went the mallet.
"GAAAHHH!!" Ranko commented in return as she found herself
waist deep in the first floor when she had been on the
second floor just a half-second earlier.
Kasumi looked out nervously.
"Is it safe?" Nodoka asked.
A nude Akane stomped toward the stairs, a large bokken in
hand, saying Very Unladylike Things concerning Ranko, the
bokken, and what she planned to do with it.
"*I'm* not going out there!" Kasumi said, pushing the washer
in front of the former door.
Ranma hopped through the floor and pulled Ranko out of the
hole where she was still looking around in a daze.
"Ko-chan - Akane-sama - STOP IT!" he said, trying to get
between the two women.
Ranko saw a figure approach with a weapon, and her training
took over.
Akane saw the person who had interrupted her during a Very
Personal Moment with her husband, and wasn't hearing
*anything* but a roaring noise in her ears.
Akane and Ranko swung at the same moment, connecting with
Ranma's head and kidneys, respectively.
He fell like a stalk of overcooked broccoli, and the fight
began in earnest.
* * * * * * * * * *
Kuno hopped across the rooftops toward the Tendo Dojo, there
to claim the reward of the luscious Ranko's favor for
defeating the vile sorcerer Tofu.
A loud shattering sound came from the Tendo residence, and
he sped up, landing in the yard next to the koi pond.
Two fighters erupted through the walls, determined on
damaging each other. They briefly seperated, and Kuno could
clearly see the forms of Ranko and Akane Saotome, gloriously
nude.
What's more, his newly-acquired ki-senses, sensetive to
female energy, told him that Ranko had been in a state of
arousal recently, and Akane had been engaged in an intimate
act.
Kuno, processing this information while watching the two
nude ladies leap and jump in the acrobatic Anything-Goes
combat style, did the only thing open to him ...
He had a nosebleed and fainted.
* * * * * * * * * *
Akane swung at the red-haired hussy who'd taken away her
Moment with her husband. Ranko dodged, her head clearing
somewhat.
"Akane-chan!" she cried out. "Please! be careful!"
"I WASN'T FINISHED!! WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU TO WAIT A FEW
MINUTES?!? *NOT* WAITING *IS* GONNA KILL YOU!!"
As the bokken came down, Ranko desperately put out her hand.
"DOKO SEIKITOU!!"
The Magnificent Phoenix Energy Sword slashed out, blocking
the bokken and making the wooden blade explode into flaming
fragments.
"Now, Akane-chan," Ranko began, "Let's talk about this. I'm
really sorry about -"
"AKANE-SEIKITOU!"
Ranko looked on wide-eyed as her sister-in-law's Scarlet
Energy Sword bloomed. Then the two blades met, and the duel
was on again.
"Chikuso," both Kasumi and Nodoka commented in unladylike
fashion from the second floor.
* * * * * * * * * *
Nabiki took her time going back home, hearing the sounds of
conflict a few blocks away. She had already taken part in an
earlier beating (okay, just the icing on the cake, but still
... ) and wasn't up to finding out what was going on in her
own house to cause some usages of ki-attacks.
"Tendo-san?" a voice addressed her in the dark.
SHe froze. The only time anyone called her 'Tendo-san' was
for business.
"Who's asking?"
A short man appeared from the shadows of a house, carrying a
bag over his back. "It is I, Sasuke."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Looks like Kuno-Baby kicked you
out."
"Actually, I left of my own accord. I have my family honor
to maintain," he sighed, hitching the pack up higher.
Nabiki made no comment, but continued on her way home. "Not
really sorry to hear that. Or surprised. Glad you left while
you could."
"I can sleep at night," he nodded. "Tendo-san, I seek new
employment."
"I already have stooges," she chuckled.
"Yes, but are they ninja trained? Of a ninja clan nine
generations old?"
She considered. "You have a point there. Perhaps you can be
of service then. What was your pay with the Blue Blunder?"
He told her. She went into a giggle fit.
"Are you kidding?? Kikuko gets more than that for selling
test answers to underclassmen!"
"It is the same pay that my ancestors received from the Kuno
house for over a century," he said defensively.
"Never heard of cost-of-living increases, have they?"
Sasuke 'hmph'ed. "They'd still have summary executions if
they could."
"Well, I think I can safely quintuple your salary -"
"BWAAAAK!!" he commented.
"- if you can cook. I'll be damned if I'll eat food that
Akane's cooked if there's an out. Self-preservation uber
alles."
"Simple, but savory."
"You're hired. We'll get you moved in as soon as we clear
out the more radioactive debris from Happosai's old room."
"Thank you, Tendo-sama. I shall endeavor to - RADIOACTIVE!?!"
Nabiki smirked. "You really need a better sense of humor,
Sasuke-baby."
As they came up to the former Tendo home, an odd sound -
obviously a ki-attack, but different somehow - assailed
their ears.
In the yard, they saw the naked Saotome ladies duelling with
what appeared to be Star-Wars-type lightsabers.
"What the hell is going on now?" Nabiki said, an exasperated
tone in her voice.
Sasuke looked alarmed but calmed quickly. "At least they
aren't doing disgusting things with panties."
"Speaking of which -" Nabiki said, pointing to the
unconscious Kuno.
"Shall I 'dispose' of him?" Sasuke asked.
Nabiki contemplated that, but shook her head. "Nah, there
might be a use for him."
"Can't imagine what," Sasuke mumbled.
"NABIKI!" Kasumi called from the bathroom.
"Kasumi-chan! What's happening??"
"I'll explain later! Please calm them down!"
Nabiki looked over at the two females doing twenty-foot
leaps, arcs of force duelling between them. "HOW?? Call the
Self-Defense Force? Superman? Where's Ranma?"
"I think they got him!"
"Well, what am *I* -"
<THUNK!!><THUNK!!>
Nabiki looked over, and saw Sasuke standing over the prone
forms of Akane and Ranko, Kuno's alleged bokken in hand.
"They never even noticed me - not that they would notice a
ninja," he commented proudly.
Nabiki snapped a picture. The sight of Sasuke standing over
them holding *that* oughta cool their fighting spirit when
they woke up.
Sasuke looked at his hand and noticed what he held. He
dropped it and screamed, "OH MY GOD, GET ME SOME BLEACH!!!
IODINE!!! ANTISEPTIC!!! EWWWWWWW!!!"