FINALLY!
This one has been percolating since early March... of 1998. I kept
coming back to it, dropping it, coming back to it, dropping it, and so on.
Finally, after two years, it's DONE!
Whew.
Anyway, the song (as I'm sure you've guessed) is based on Billy Joel's
"We Didn't Start the Fire". I highly suggest listening to it while reading
this; the rhythm is pretty basic, but it's easy to misread without the song
backing you up. I know. :)
Enjoy!
(as always, C&C is VERY welcome. :)
Also, I want to thank Jed Bidwell, for encouraging me to get back to
work on this, and on writing in general.
Brian Payne
sofaspud@sofapsud.org
http://www.sofaspud.org
-----------------------------
We Didn't Start the Mayhem
by Brian Payne
(based on "We Didn't Start the Fire", by Billy Joel)
Saotome, Tendo, in there cheating at Go
Kasumi's folding laundry and Nabiki's in her room
I say something to her, Akane grabs her hammer
And before you know it I am flying to the moon
For once Ryoga wasn't lost, as I landed from the toss
Bandannas whirl, I uncurl, buildings fall to dust
I run fast, tossing taunts, heading for a favored haunt
Black roses fall from way up high, Kodachi laughs, I want to cry.
CHORUS
We didn't start the mayhem
It was always going
Since we started showing
We didn't start the mayhem
No we didn't start it
But we'd love to stop it!
Joking, stalling, pulling back. Why am I under attack?
Must be something oyaji did; I should smack him around again.
Ladle lady makes her move, I try to dodge and again I lose
Water magnets, one and all; why in hell did I have to fall?
"My pig-tailed princess!" I hear the cry, why oh why can't he be shy?
"Red-haired witch!" is the other shout; oh, just great, they're BOTH about.
Ribbon smacks, rose attacks, giant hoops of razor wire
Someone oughtta tell that girl that she's about to play with fire.
CHORUS
Ukyo swings her giant spat; I barely dodge this last attack
I've asked before, and now some more: What the hell did you do that for?!
Screaming, shouting, yelling, fighting; if this keeps up, I'll switch to
writing.
There's gotta be another way; can't just say I ain't gonna play.
A pair of chopsticks bars my path; without a glance, I shoot on past.
The sounds of combat reach my ears, I turn around, realize my fears.
Trouble's brewing, sure enough; how in hell does that boat stay up?
Akane's dangling from a line; hey, you jerks, that girl is mine!
CHORUS
Lucky Gods? Feh, I'm sure. Bunch of pantywaists, they were.
Akane's cooking made them puke; geez, she can be so uncute.
Fiancees and kidnappers, princes and their servitors
Ryugenzawa, Jyusenkyo, Phoenix Mountain, Tokyo
Training trips, honey bees, fighting 'til I'm on my knees,
Uncute tomboy, too-cute chef, Chinese Amazon kissing death!
CHORUS
Pervert masters, flying bulls, ghosts that haunt my own high school
Wishing swords and magic springs; hidden weapons, of all things!
Loony teachers, crazy duels, techniques taught by ancient ghouls
Giant rodents, takeout races, me an' Pop stuffing our faces
Voodoo magic, costumed crazies, all I want is to be lazy!
Magic shops and mirrors too, girls who cry "I love you!"
Finally home, resting up, wish Akane'd not come unstuck
I speak before I think again, now I'm back where I began!
CHORUS
We didn't start the mayhem
But when we are gone
Will it still go on, and on, and on, and on...?
(apologies to Billy Joel and the Ranma people)