Subject: [FFML] Re: [C&C] The Path, pt.1
From: Morgan Hudson
Date: 3/10/2000, 6:24 AM
To: Cherry Tiger
CC: ffml@fanfic.com
Reply-to:

Howdy, Cherry Tiger!

Thank you for taking the time to write. I know how hard it can be to find
time to C&C a fic.

 > while you wait. C&C is, as always, appreciated greatly. 
 
 You may think that now.

Yes, and I still do. What? You think I'm one of those authors who'd rather
post crap than listen to honest criticism?   ^_~

However, I would be remiss if I did not admit that one or two of your
comments ruffled a few of my feathers, but I have decided to take this as
what it was : a friendly attempt to help out a fellow aspiring author. 

 > 	The shogi board was perfectly set on the low table between the 
 > two. Soun, playing black, went first. After examining the board, he 
 > carefully lifted one of his pieces between his index and middle 
 > fingers, and slapped it down. Genma smirked. 
 
 You don't place pieces at the beginning of a game of Shogi.  Shogi is
like
 chess.  (Later in the game, you do place pieces)

Okay, if you say so. Please understand that I was writing this scene with
exactly twenty minutes of actual exposure to the game. I'm sorry if I
offended the sensibilities of any experienced Shogi masters out there. ^_^

 > 	"You sure you wanna put that there, Tendo?"
 > 
 > 	"Be silent and play, you wretch!" Soun crossed his arms and 
 > watched as Genma insolently picked a piece almost at random, and placed
 > it directly next to his own. That fiend! He was trying to build a 
 
 That fiend is the worst GO player I've ever heard of.  If I was playing
 and someone attached to the first piece played, I'd probably walk out in
 disgust and tell them to learn the game first.

Oh, well terribly sorry. I was trying to actually describe one of the
Genma/Soun matches everybody always has going on in the backgrounds of their
fics. Clearly I needed far more research and years of experience before I
broached this subject. 

 > ladder : it was the most basic tactic in Go, and one that usually wound
 
 Next, you cannot start a ladder until you've reduced the liberties to
one,
 and Soun still has three, AND you must have set the board so when he uses
 that liberty, he only has two left, so you can reduce again.
 
 Further, it is NOT the most basic tactic in Go, in fact it is frowned
upon
 as a rather poor tactic.

All too true, I'm sure. Again, I'll have to take your word for it, as Real
Life has put an incredible crimp in my chances to enjoy the game as much as
you obviously have.
  
 > up splitting the board evenly. In this case, it would force Soun to 
 
 Nor does it split the board evenly, as the entire concept behind a ladder
 is a construct that is inescapable, leaving one player with a large shape
 extending out into the center, and the other with nothing.
 
 > take far less territory than he preferred : losing him the game. 
 
 You don't count territory after the first two moves!!!

Okay, now I may be incompetent, but even I know that one.  I was just trying
to let people who are even less familiar with the game know exactly how you
win or lose. Much like people who read fight scenes tend to know that blades
are sharp, but we mention it anyway, right? ^_^
  
 > 	Soun grinned. Well, he'd show that knave! He wasn't going to 
 > fall for the trap. Instead, his next piece went on almost the 
 > exact opposite side of the board. Let the fool worry about blocking me 
 > on two fronts, Soun thought, and we'll see who outmaneuvers whom. 
 
 I can't even beging to explain how clueless this is.  

Wow, in all your time sending C&C, you couldn't have found a less offensive
way to put that? I mean, I appreciate your honesty, and I'm sorry if you
think I'm an idiot, but I really don't see the need for that above sentence.
If I were a thinner skinned man, I might have been hurt by that.
Furthermore, you mis-spelled "begin". 

Yes, this was the main feather-ruffler. ^_^

 The entire concept
 of Go strategy is based on spreading out across the entire board as
 rapidly as possible, then fighting over territory lines until there's
 nothing left unclaimed.

Very true, and what I happened to have learned a few days AFTER I finished 
this fic. I would have been quite embarassed, if I had actually remembered
what I wrote at the time. ^_^

 > 	The game went back and forth for the next several hours, and 
 
 Go rarely lasts longer than an hour.  Unless the players are unable to
see
 when they've lost.

Er, that was actually a point I was deliberately trying to make. This is
Soun and Genma. They NEVER know when to quit, remember? ^_^
  
 > Soun Tendo began to get frustrated. He turned around to check the 
 > clock, and when he looked back, the board seemed... different, somehow.
 > Was this uncouth lout cheating? Soun tried desperately to remember 
 > where he had put his last twenty pieces, but drew a blank. Well, two 
 > can cheat as well as one, he thought to himself, and smiled.
 
 This part I might believe.  That Soun wouldn't notice what had happened,
 given how incredibly bad he is at Go, based on what you wrote.  But any
 other Go player would.
  
Well, I've read hundreds of fanfics that discuss Soun Tendo playing Go, and
I've seen him do it in both the manga and the anime, but nobody ever said or
demonstrated that he was good at it. Remember, he couldn't even beat the
Gambling King at Old Maid. Something about him being as smart as an
elementary school student, if I recall correctly...

And also, I would like to thank you for setting me straight in my offhand
comment on turning the table around on Genma. If I ever plan to cheat at
Shogi, I'll be sure to ask you how. (that was a small joke. I hope you take
no offense.) ^_^

-Ahem-  Thank you once again for the time and effort you clearly put into
helping me make this a better story. Although I sadly decided to stop
working on this piece nearly two months ago, it is indeed nice to know that
you read it, and deemed it worthy of your attention. In my whole five months
on the list, this is without a doubt one of the more public, and frankly...
acerbic...  C&Cs I have recieved, and I thank you for giving me the
opportunity to handle it with what I hope was a little class. 

I appreciate your honesty, and bow to your superior wisdom in this area.
Were I still writing this story, I assure you I would be overhauling chapter
one as we speak. Instead, I shall remember your comments in case I ever have
need of this information for another story. Have a good day, Mr. Cherry
Tiger, and please, don't let your disappointment in one of my fics keep you
from enjoying another. 

Regards, 

-Morgan Hudson





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