Eudial in Blunderland
A mega-mix up fic by Tellu and Quicksilver

Chapter One: Mimette, I Don�t Think We�re in Tokyo Anymore....

    It was all Mimette�s fault.   Or so Eudial would maintain until the end of her days.
    Eudial hated being Mimette�s sempai.  But Professor Tomoe had required it, so there was no way she was able to avoid the responsibility.   Mimette was, to Eudial's rather impatient observance, an absolute ditz.   Not that she wasn't smart, but she was capable of taking the simplest thing and making then into a disaster.   A mountain out of a molehill....
    It was in the middle of spring when the events that Eudial would curse for the rest of her life started.   Mimette had begged her to drive her into town so she could watch a photo shoot, and Eudial had been forced to comply when Kaolonite, the Professor�s secretary, had told her that it was a good idea to remove the rather bouncy blonde during a delicate time for the research on creating daimons.    So the two had piled into the car after Eudial had told Mimette rather forcefully to keep her hands in her lap and her mouth shut
    Mimette, of course, realized that the commandment did not apply to her posterior. She was bouncing in the car seat so hard the car was bouncing along with her. She smiled at Eudial sweetly as the car cruised at 105 mph along the Tokyo Countryside.  Mimette glanced over at the numerous stickys that Eudial had placed in her car. She smiled again and said: "You know, Eudial, you really should consider cleaning out this car once in a while. It looks like a mosh pit." She smiled again at Eudial.
    Eudial gritted her teeth, trying to think happy thoughts. Like Mimette falling off the face of the Earth.  Sadly, though, when she turned her head, Mimette was still there, fidgeting cheerfully.   "I like my car exactly the way it is- I need everything in here.   Put that DOWN this instant!"
    Mimette smiled and said all in one breath: "I'm so excited, I've never met this hunk before, maybe he'll have a pure heart- YEAH, that's it! And then I'll get his autograph and I'll get him and..." Mimette continued her ramblings as the car sped to the city.
    Irritating Eudial while she was driving was always a bad idea.    Eudial was, rather frankly, not one of the world's better drivers in the first place, and when you made her angry... well, the little technique she had went right out the window.    She pushed harder on the pedal, pushing the car's speedometer needle to the little place past the last number (which happened to be 120 MPH).   "You're not listening to me!   I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut!" she yelled, turning her head so she could glare at that irritating witch.
    That's exactly when Mimette saw the huge pothole in the road. Her eyes widened as she pointed at it and screamed: "EUDIAL! EYES ON THE ROAD!!!!"
    "Don't you DARE tell me how to drive you insipid little-"  And then it was too late.   Sure enough, Eudial hit the pothole, and the car started to careen off the road.
    Eudial had plenty of experience of getting out of nasty accidents, and she managed to slide the car to a stop without damaging anything aside from a chipmunk which had gotten in her way.   "Damn it!   Now look what you made me do!" Eudial accused.   She opened the door and got out, checking the car.  "Kuso!   We have a flat, you airhead!   We're going to have to walk to town."
    "I'M the airhead?" Mimette screeched as she slammed the car door. "Who was it who was cruising at 120 and then took her eyes off the wheel??"  Mimette was so angry, she could hardly see straight. "Now because of your lousy driving, sempai, we're going to have to walk twenty miles, AND I'M GOING TO MISS MY PHOTO SHOOT!" Mimette was screaming so loudly that little bits of spit were flying out of her mouth.
    Eudial just leveled an exasperated glare on her.   There was simply no way to explain anything to the little twit, Eudial thought.   She opened the trunk and started to get some stuff out of it, carefully packing it into a huge duffel bag she had.   Struggling to shut it, she sighed.   "We might as well start walking."
    Mimette groaned as she walked next to Eudial. She was so busy griping at her, she didn't even notice the rabbit hole until she had one foot in it. Mimette looked down. It seemed to be a bottomless pit. She gulped, just as she started to lose her balance. She shrieked and grabbed on to Eudial for support, but the duffel bag Eudial had on didn't do much except help make them lose their balances. Mimette screamed: "NOOO!!!!!" as she and Eudial began to tumble into the abyss.
    Eudial started to swear in at least four languages as she felt the unique sensation of having absolutely nothing under her.   The darkness seemed to grow and they fell for what felt like an eternity.
Finally there was a light, and they landed, Mimette knocking into Eudial and ending up on her back.   "Get OFF of me, baka!" Eudial snapped from her uncomfortable position.
    Mimette yelled: "Ooof!" as she landed. Luckily (at least for her), Eudial broke her fall. Mimette stood up, dusted herself off and asked: "Where are we?"
    "I have no clue.  This is all your fault, just so you know," Eudial said in a disgruntled voice.   "We'd better look around and see."
    The place was barely lighter then the dark tunnel they had left.   All around them, they could feel a distinct aura of evil, which would have made them feel comfortable, but oddly enough, didn't.   The uneasiness came from the fact that the evil wasn't THEIR evil.   "Um, Eudial, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
    "We never were!" Eudial said waspishly.
    Mimette snapped: "I KNOW we were never in Kansas, dammit! Just trying to make a little joke, you sex-starved firecracker!" As they wandered through a clearing, they heard someone chanting something. As they watched, a feminine man in a gray uniform with a green stripe around the base ran by, squealing: "I'm gonna be LATE!" Mimette turned around and watched him run off. She said to Eudial : "Toto... I don't think we're in this dimension anymore..."
    "I don't either..." Eudial said rather woozily.   Damn, damn, damn!   She never should have agreed to take Mimette anywhere- it was doomed from the start.
    Mimette turned to Eudial and shrieked: "Then where ARE we, baka???"
    Eudial opened her bag and pulled out her micro-computer, one of the many nifty things she had retrieved from the back seat of her car.    Frowning, she punched in a few numbers, and then her eyes widened.   "I think the question is WHEN are we...."
    Mimette's brain turned. She said slowly: "You mean... when we fell through that hole we somehow traveled through time? AHHHHHHH!!!!!!" She ran around, screaming, pulling out handfuls of her hair and yelling: "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO????"
    "YOU'RE going to shut up while I figure that out," Eudial said.   Twisting her hair between her fingers, her frown deepened.   "We're not even in the same dimension anymore," she mused, more to herself then her panicking comrade.....  "We seem to be on a plain of some kind of negative energy.   I think we should probably follow where that guy went."
    Mimette screamed and fell to the floor, sobbing. "And I had a date tonight! WAAAAHHH!!!!" She turned to Eudial. "Did you say 'guy'? I'm there!" She grabbed onto Eudial's wrist and started pulling her after the guy.
    Eudial was trying to reclose the bag as Mimette wheeled them both around a corner.   The pathways were narrow and dark, and just as twisted as Professor Tomoe's mind.   Finally they turn a blind corner, and sure enough, crashed into someone.
    Mimette screamed: "Watch where you're- hubba hubba..." The man she'd crashed into was a good six feet, had shoulder-length white hair and wore the same uniform as the other man, albeit with a blue trim instead of green. Her eyes turned into hearts as she stood up. She whispered to Eudial: "I think I'm in looooove!"
    "You usually do," Eudial said wearily.   Leave it to Mimette to find a man to lust over when they were on a different plain of reality.
    Mimette said: "I'm Mimette, who are you?" The man cleared his throat and said: "I am Kunzite. What are you doing in the Dark Kingdom? Tourists?" He laughed as though he'd just made a terrific joke, and after a few confused moments, Mimette tittered a little.
    "Mimette, I don't think this is such a good idea," Eudial hissed through her teeth as she gazed at her computer screen.   This guy had power ratings that were almost off the chart.
    Mimette only smiled and said: "Oh, you're always trying to ruin my-" she took a quick peek at the computer and the smile dropped off her face. "Holy bejeebers. If I get with this guy, I could blow Viluy, Tellu and the twins off the planet."
    "Or he could do the same to us..." Eudial whispered fiercely.
    Mimette gulped and smiled at Kunzite. She whispered to Eudial: "What are we gonna do???
    "We're going to be extremely polite, sweet, and as non-threatening as possible," Eudial replied.
    Kunzite, who had been watching their entire hurried conversation, smiled with amusement.   "Excuse me, ladies, but I don't think I've seen you here before.    Are you lost?"
    Mimette's heart melted as his silvery tongue worked his magic on her. She smiled and said: "Well, I'm not too sure where HERE is. You see, we fell in this big hole and..." Mimette proceeded to explain in vivid detail everything that had happened that morning. "So, where exactly are we...exactly?"
    The man shrugged.   "I'm not at liberty to say.    I must escort you to my Queen, though."
    Eudial cursed under her breath.   "From bad to worse," she mutter, the name ringing a very faint bell in her mind.   She wasn't sure exactly who he was, but she knew he was trouble.
    Mimette smiled sheepishly and said: "Well, lead on, then." Kunzite started to lead the two Witches down some winding corridors and into a great hall. Kunzite dropped to one knee, and Mimette, seeing him, attempted an awkward curtsy.
    The woman on the throne with the flaming red hair screeched: "WHO ARE THESE TWO???"
    Eudial bowed quickly, but Mimette just stood their, looking at the strange woman.   She was wearing an extremely low-cut gown that showed off a very sexy hour-glass figure, but her face was an unnatural shade, and she had horns erupting from her shoulders.   Elbowing Mimette, Eudial answered, "Just two lost travelers.    I'm Sakamoto Eudial and my companion is Hayama Mimette."
    "Ah, yeah, yeah!" Mimette stammered. She finally got the picture and bowed before the queen. The Queen sniffed and said: "You are of no importance. KUNZITE!" Kunzite quickly rose, then bowed again and said: "My Queen?" Queenie smiled and said: "Take these two back to one of the King's chambers. I think Jadeite's will do nicely." Kunzite said: "Yes, Queen Beryl." He grabbed onto Mimette and Eudial's arms and started pulling them towards Jadeite's chambers.
    "Jadeite?  Who's that?" Mimette asked in the voice that grated on Eudial's already hyperextended nerves.
    Kunzite only chuckled and said: "Oh, you'll see when we get there." He unceremoniously closed the Witches in a room and locked the door. Mimette hmphed and turned around to see a man frozen completely in an ice crystal. She screamed in a voice loud enough to rock the planet. She grabbed onto Eudial and started shaking uncontrollably.
    "Why would they do that to such a thing to such a delicious looking man?" she demanded.
    Eudial was shaken as well, but was starting to get angrier and angrier.  This was obviously a cheap ploy to show power, and seeing her only colleague (such as she was) so out of it at such a little thing was irritating. The pieces were starting to fall into place.   "Mimette..." she said harshly.
    "What?" Mimette asked, her voice quivering.
    "I know where we are."
    "WHAT? WHERE?"
    "Use your head for a change!   Jadeite, Kunzite... A Queen named Beryl who has horns...." Eudial said, trailing off, leaving Mimette to draw her own conclusions.
    Mimette's mind clicked. "The Dark Kingdom! I remember now! That was in Viluy's history of villains book! But if the Dark Kingdom is still here, we must be back in..." Mimette's mind raced. "1992??!!! We CAN'T have just fallen back in time three years like that... could we?"
    "So you actually read something.   Miracles will never cease.   And I doubt you realize what one of the key problems is now.... so I'll just tell you, you simple-minded twit.   This is 1992- and that means that a younger version of ourselves already exists.   We're playing a dangerous game with paradox possibilities."
    Mimette suddenly realized the gravity of the situation. "Oh, boy. This is NOT going to be fun. But how did we get here, and how do we get back to 1994?" Mimette started pulling on her hair in frustration.
    Eudial sighed.   �If I knew that, I�d be out of here.�
    Mimette screamed: "I WANNA GO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!" She started running around the room in a frenzy, knocking things over in her wake.
    Eudial just grabbed the computer again, and tried to work out a solution.   Unfortunately, she didn't have enough information, and the dynamics of time travel weren't her specialty- she was an engineer, not a physicist.
    Mimette saw Eudial playing with her computer and grabbed her shoulders. Mimette started shaking Eudial violently. Mimette screamed: "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO??? I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE CAUGHT IN A TIME WARP!"
    "That's debatable," Eudial replied, insulting Mimette without even thinking about it.   "What we have to do is stay calm, and hopefully-"
    Eudial was interrupted as someone came into the room.   It was the man they had seen before, the one who was so effeminate looking he could pass for a flat-chested woman.
    "WHO ARE YOU?" Mimette screamed at the man. He only smiled an evil smile and Mimette and Eudial smelled the faint scent of cherries. He spoke: "I am Zoisite, the fourth King of Beryl-hime's. I have been instructed to remove you."
    "Remove us?" Mimette whispered to Eudial.   "I don't like the sound of that."
    "I don't think we should worry too much," Eudial said back softly, managing the truly amazing feat of speaking without moving her lips. "Zoicite has a reputation for being cruel and sadistic, but if he was going to kill us, he'd stab us in the back, not give us warning."
    Mimette gulped. Zoisite opened his hand and a brief flurry of sakura blossoms engulfed Mimette and Eudial, teleporting them to a different, bare room.
    Eudial blinked a few times, then shook her head, trying to get the sakura blossoms out of her hair.   The room was occupied, they were surprised to note, by a man with long red-brown hair, and Kunzite.    Zoicite teleported in as well, hovering mid-air behind the first King.
    Mimette whispered to Eudial: "Say something! You're the diplomat among us!" She quickly hid behind the Red Witch and gave a mischievous smile to Kunzite.
    Now, as any good Sailor Moon fan knows, Zoisite has a jealous streak wider then the Atlantic Ocean.   And the one thing he was most possessive was of his Kunzite, much to the elder King's amusement.   Seeing Mimette's smile was enough to push his already fragile temper to the breaking point.
    A cry of "ZOI!" was all Mimette and Eudial heard before a complete hurricane of cherry blossoms surrounded them both completely, coating them both. Mimette screamed as she grabbed onto Eudial for support.
    "What's WITH this guy?" Eudial yelped as she attempted to pry the blonde off of her.
    The red-haired King laughed.   "It's just his usual temper tantrum.   I'd advise you to give up your friend as a lost cause... he won't be satisfied till she's dead."
    "I've already TRIED to give her up, but she keeps coming back, like a stupid puppy!" Eudial complained, freeing herself of Mimette and scooting across the room.
    Mimette screeched: "NANI?!?" and somehow managed to fly across the room and burrow herself up the back of Eudial's blouse. "Hide me!" she shrieked.
    Kunzite and the auburn-haired king chuckled and Zoisite prepared to send another cherry-blossom attack to the Witches.
    Mimette, though, finally found her own temper.   Though not as formidable as Eudial's, it was still there, and when she lost it, watch out.   She pulled out her gem buster, preparing to let one fly.    Eudial took the opportunity to go hide behind Kunzite, figuring that Zoicite would think twice about launching an attack so near his beloved.
    "GEM BUSTER!" Mimette yelled and sent the attack towards the orange-haired King. Zoisite shrieked in pain as the Gem Blast caught him across the chest. Kunzite's smile dropped off his face as he glared at Mimette.
    "Uh-oh," the red-haired King said.   "That was a bad idea."
    When Eudial saw Kunzite begin to glow, she could only nod her agreement.   Finding her tongue, she called:  "Bye, Mimette!   It's been nice knowing you!"
    Mimette decided to use her invaluable vocal cords and let loose with a sonic-boom of a scream that decimated everything glass within five miles of the room. Inside, all three Kings and Eudial covered their ears. Mimette grabbed onto Eudial's wrist and yelled: "Let's scram!" She ran out in the hallway, dragging Eudial behind her.
    Eudial took off as well, though she was slightly hampered by her bag.    The thing was huge, but there was no way she could abandon it- it had a lot of things in it that might prove priceless as they wandered the past.
    Mimette ran at supersonic speeds through the hallways, dragging a flying Eudial behind her. She didn't stop until she saw a black glowing hole. She screeched on the brakes, but wasn't fast enough. She fell into it, dragging Eudial after her and screaming her brains out.
    Zoicite, who had been in pursuit, came to a stop when he felt their energy signatures vanish.   "Where'd they go?" he wondered petulantly, then gave up.   Going to find Kunzite, he resolved that the next time someone showed up out of nowhere and flirted with his lover, he would kill them much more quickly.   Playing with his enemies had always been a nasty habit of his, one he had to break.
    Of course, five minutes later, he forgot about his resolution.   No one had ever said Zoicite was reliable.
END PART 1

Quicksilver
Lady of the Labyrinth
Fyfic no Miko
http://www.homestead.com/quicksilverslabyrinth
"I'm a history book you never could write; poetry in paralisis, too deep to recite."

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