This is a slightly updated version of the spamfic I posted while the list was down.  The first one had several typos...  I also added a few things.

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 A Sneeze Is No Bar To My Call

 A Wheel Of Time Crossover Spamfic

 By Louis-Philippe Giroux
dragon@anime.sobhrach.com

 I don't know what came over me... Wheel Of Time is a series created by
Robert Jordan. Read it at any cost (or you won't understand a lot of this)!
the other series, well, they belong to their respective authors... I do this
for fun, not profit!

**** This takes place towards the end of _The Great Hunt_

 "It has to be there at the Last Battle," Mat said, licking his lips.
"Nothing says it can't be used before then." He pulled the Horn free of its
lashings and looked at them anxiously. "Nothing says it can't."

 No one else said anything, especially Rand who was now more anxious than
ever to go rescue Egwene.

 Mat's hand shook as he raised the Horn of Valere to his lips. Just as he
was about to blow it, though, his nose tickled and his breath caught...

 Mat sneezed. In the Horn.

 The sound the Horn made was anything *but* majestic; in fact, it resembled
something like an entire orchestra expiring at the same time.

 Mat jerked the Horn away from his lips , a horrible blush covering his
face. "Blood and ashes!" he protested. "I didn't mean to do *that*!"

 Perrin was about to berate Mat when the party heard a loud popping sound
to their right. There was a young girl, wearing a ridiculously white, pink
and red frilly outfit. She was holding a short, pink rod in her hands. There
was a little brown creature hovering over her left shoulder.

 "Hoe?" the girl said, confused. "Tomoko-chan? Li-kun?" she called out,
looking around her. When she saw Hurin, Mat, Perrin and Rand on their
horses, she gave a start. "Ano... Who are you? Where am I?"

 Mat blinked and looked at the Horn with a frown.

 The small creature spoke: "Sakura-chan, I don't think that was a Clow
Card's doing."

 The Randlanders blinked collectively.

 There was another loud popping sound and everyone turned, including
Sakura.

 The Randlanders boggled even more at the appearance of the new group. Mat
and Perrin almost had a nosebleed at the sight of the newly-arrived girls'
outfits and the only thing that prevented Rand from having one too was the
fact that he was still thinking about Egwene. Why they all had brooms with
them was another question entirely.

 "Takakura-sempaaaaaii!" wailed Sawanaguchi Sae, junior member of the
Kitanohashi High School Magic Club
 "Sawanaguchi-kun! This wasn't your fault! I think..." desperately said
Takeo.
 Aburatsubo looked bored. "I told you her stunt with the Bell was only a
fluke."
 Nanaka frowned at the red-haired bishounen. "Aburatsubo-sempai!" she
scolded weakly.
 Akane looked around and spotted the four people on horses. "Excuse me,
could you tell us where we are?" she asked sweetly, giving the natives an
eyeful of her costume.

 Sakura was simply happy she wasn't the only one wearing a weird costume
anymore.

 More popping sounds were heard, as well as various exclamations:

 "RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
 "Ha! I KNEW you were a vile dark sorcerer, Saotome!"
 "Shampoo, my love! Come to me!" <glomp>
 "AHOU! It's me, Ranma!"
 "DAMN YOU SAOTOME!"

 "Hanabishi... You'd better have an explanation for this!"
 "Lay off, Mikagami! This ain't my fault!"
 "Fuuko?"
 "I thought we'd destroyed that stupid weapon of Magensha's..."

 "Oro?"
 "What the hell just happened?"
 "Ahou."
 "STOP CALLIN' ME THAT!!!"

 "It looks like the Lucifer Folk are getting more devious, Katsumi!"
 "I... don't think *they* did this, Kiddy."
 "I agree."
 "Thanks, Grospolina."

 "Piiiika?"
 "Brock, where *are* we?"
 "Priii!"
 "I don't know, Misty, it's not on the map."
 "Who cares? There's *gotta* be Pokemon around here!"
 "ASH!"

 "Hamel?"
 "I didn't do this, Flute"
 "Sizer-sama? Where are you?"

 "..."
 "Cloud, this isn't the Lifestream!"
 "No shit, Tifa! Where the *&%@!%$& are we?"
 "YOU tell me, Cid."

 "Whoa! Hey, Squall, where the hell are we?"
 "..."
 "I don't think he knows, Zell."
 "It was worth asking, Selphie."

  Rand twitched upon seeing everyone beginning to argue. *They* were the
Heroes of the Horn? He looked at Mat, who kept looking suspiciously at the
Horn of Valere. He took a deep breath and shouted: "QUIET!"

 Everyone fell silent. it shouldn't have happened, but ta'varen tended to
bend the laws of probability in the extreme.

 "What do *you* want?" Saitoh said slowly, puffing his cigarette.

 Rand couldn't help sweating when he was speared by the ex-Shinsen Gumi's
gaze. There was something really scary about that guy. Rand shook his head.
"You have to help us defeat the Seanchan!"

 "And the Whitecloaks!" added Hurin.

 "Why?" said Saitoh, sounding bored.

 "How about the fact that we're stuck in the middle between the two and
either one will kill us when they advance," Mat argued, pointing to the two
different armies.

 There was grumbling in the crowd of new arrivals.

 "We'll kick their asses!"
 "Ain't no &?%#& who's gonna kill ME!"
 "I just wanted to capture Pokemon!"
 "GET 'EM!"

 No one knew who said the trigger word, but with three ta'varen present, it
worked. Half the group (Ash, Brock, Misty, Ranma, Fuuko, Domon, Recca,
Koganei, Sakura and the Magic Club) moved towards the Seanchan while the
other (Squall, Selphie, Zell, Cloud, Tifa, Cid, Mikagami, Saitoh, Sannosuke,
Hamel, Raiel, Flute, Katsumi and Kiddy) moved towards the Whitecloaks.

... It wasn't pretty.

 Battle clips:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  Ranma executing a Hiryuu Shouten Ha straight in the path of Vulpix's Fire
Spin. Can we say *biiiiig* tornado? I knew you could.

 Sakura using the Sword Card to battle a grizzled Seanchan blademaster. And
winning, too.

 Ash desperately trying to capture a Seanchan grolm with a pokeball.
Actually succeeding when a stray magic blast from Sae accidentally hits
Ash's pokeballs.

 Koganei using the Kougon Anki's third kata (Kyoku) to snip a'dam cables
everywhere while Recca uses Madoka's Kekkai En to shield everyone from the
damane's strikes.

 Various swordsmen (Saitoh, Mikagami, Kunou, Squall, Katsumi) making
mincemeat out of Whitecloaks.

 Cid cursing and using his Dynamite Limit Break with abandon.

 Kenshin knocking people out instead.

 Hamel and Raiel using their music to boost the brawlers (Kiddy, Sannosuke
and Tifa) along with everyone else.

 Cloud using Omnislash on Geofram Bornhald. Can you say ground beef? I knew
you could...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 After the fight, no one goes back...  Ooops.

 So what happens? They have to make do with life in Randland until a
solution can be found!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 Life clips:

 Card Captor Sakura hanging out with Ash, who's convinced that Kero-can is
a pokemon and her Clow Cards are mutated pokeballs.

 Kenshin, Mikagami, Saitoh and Cloud fending off Aes Sedai who want them as
their Warders...

 Mibu's Wolf (Saitoh) discovering that his yellow eyes mean something...
different in Randland. The wolves soon learn that "Death Fang" is *not*
someone to mess with.

 Ash, Misty and Brock disappear for a couple of weeks and when they come
back, Ash is ecstatic about the new "Myrddraal", "Trolloc", "Draghkar" and
"Darkhound" pokemon they managed to capture. Too bad that "Worm" pokemon got
away... Further puzzlement as Ash's pokedex identifies *anything* they come
across.

 Aiel being righteously disgusted out when they see Mikagami's Ensui (a
**WATER SWORD**??)

 Sakura getting into trouble with the Aes Sedai when she uses he Clow
Cards, especially Shadow.

 Raiel, Flute and Hamel as traveling performers. 'Nuff said.

 Recca being hunted as a channeler.

 Brock's Onix being hunted as Shadowspawn.

 Ranma and Recca sparring. Recca quickly learning that using Flame Dragons
is a bad idea when your opponent can use a heat-based move like the Hiryuu
Shouten Ha.

 The Magic Club and Katsumi Liqueur trying to open a gate back to their own
realities.

 Aes Sedai trying to find out where Mousse's weapons come from.

 Selphie wondering why she can draw Magic from channelers.

 The Aes Sedai *TRYING* to confiscate the Hokage's elemental weapons
because they think they're ter'angreals.

 Ranma boasting to Saitoh and Kenshin that weapons are for wimps and
subsequently getting his ass handed to him.

 Tifa opens an inn in Tar Valon. Aes Sedai investigating when she uses the
Final Heaven Limit Break to clear brawlers out.

 Squall's GFs freak everyone out. He doesn't really care - he just wants to
see Rinoa.

 "Gholam, I choose YOU!"

 Zell and Ranma sparring. Property damages ensues.

 Domon and Sannosuke sparring. Bodily harm ensues.

 People laughing at Kenshin because they think he's wearing a divided
skirt. Kenshin gets annoyed. Massive bruisings ensue.

 The Yellow Ajah freaking out when they try to delve Kiddy, the resident
cyborg.

 The Dark One berating Demandred later on - that's *not* what he meant by
"Let the Lord of Chaos Rule."

 The Magic Club members being used a couriers by the Tower since they can
fly.

 Ranma picks up an Aes Sedai fiancee!

 Sannosuke asking Cloud if he's got a spare zanbatou somewhere.

 Sakura forced to wear novice white because the Aes Sedai don't understand
the concept of a Clow Card.

 Sakura actually *missing* Tomoko's crazy costumes.

 Aes Sedai freaking out when they realize that Grospolina is a *living*
sword.

 Recca convinced that Grospolina and Squall's gunblade are elemental
weapons. Somehow.

 Most of the guys being actively sought out as Warders.

 Fuuko finding the damn Fuujin orb in the Stone of Tear's collection.

 The imported heroes freaking out when they realize that they're still
under Matrim's command.

 Sae turning Shadar Haran into a large Jeff-kun.

 The Dark One getting a reeeeeaaaalllyy bad headache.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Author's Notes

- Hey, it could have happened. :)

- Series involved: Card Captor Sakura, Mahou Tsukai Tai, FF7, FF8, Ranma
1/2, Flame of Recca, Ruroni Kenshin, Silent Mobius and Pokemon. I could have
added Sailor Moon and Digimon or a thousand others, but I was gettin' bored.
**********************       Jordanite and Mystical
* The Phoenix Reborn *           Freak at Large
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Louis-Philippe Giroux   * phoenix[at]cephiro.com       *

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