-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: AMORC17.TXT
DISCLAIMER: Do you seriously think Takahashi intended *this*??
--------------------
Ranma 1/2: "A Matter of Romantic Chemistry", pt. 17
by Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
--------------------
Ranma blinked, then stared into space in complete shock.
Jiro ceased speaking and slammed his fist into the side of
his brother's head.
"Hey, what's with you?"
"It's Ko-chan!" Ranma breathed, dashing to the garden wall
and leaping over the stone. "She's hurt!"
Jiro sighed, shaking his head. "Telepathic siblings," he
muttered in disgust. "One big friggin' soap opera."
"Where's Ranma going?" Akane asked, arriving from the house.
"He says his sister's in trouble or something."
"And you're not helping??" she asked, opening the gate
hurridly.
"Why should I?"
"She's your sister, too, baka!"
Jiro waved his hand dismissively, covering up his
humiliation of a week ago at the redhead's hands (or knee,
in this instance) with his usual machismo. "She can take
care of herself."
Akane took a moment to turn around and connect her foot to
his thick head, landing him in the rock garden section of
Nodoka's yard.
"Sorry, Auntie Nodoka, but I have to help Ranma and Ranko."
"All right, dear," Mrs. Saotome nodded. "Their secret is
safe with me."
Akane briefly wondered what the woman meant as she chased
her fiance back to Nerima.
* * * * * * * * * *
Akari sat in shock, staring at the cute piglet that sat on
the hotel room bed.
It looked like Ryoga-sama. But it acted like any other
piglet.
But she *saw* Ryoga. She saw him change.
<He changed in the park when we both fell in that puddle ...
he changed again in the tub ...>
A realization hit her. <But he becomes a pig in *cold*
water! Could his curse have reversed somehow? But why would
he act differently?>
"OF COURSE!!" she cried, leaping to her feet (and scaring
the piglet half to death).
She grabbed the piglet up and squeezed it to her bosom.
"It's so obvious! That Chinese witch, trying to deceive me,
cursed a helpless little piglet so I would think it's Ryoga-
sama! Then, she can keep my beautiful Ryoga-sama all to
herself!"
<You're nuts!> thought the piglet.
But it woun't work, will it, sweet little piggy?" she cooed.
"Don't worry, Ryoga-sama!" she cried out, striking a heroic
pose. "For I will save you from the gaijin hussy with the
power of my love for you!"
She was about to dash out and invade the Nekohanten again
when two things struck her;
1: Her last attempt to invade the Nekohanten had resulted in
her being knocked out by some hideous troll-monster and
dropped in a dumpster; and
2: She hadn't put anything on after leaving the furo, and
thus was quite naked.
Obviously charging down to the restaurant wasn't an option
at this moment.
She had to get home, and plan how to save her man from his
horrid, evil, debasing servitude.
* * * * * * * * * *
At that moment, the man in question was in a park staring up
at the clouds, his head in Shampoo's lap. Her finger idly
traced the curve of his ear. On her back, a baby-carrier
held a sleeping infant.
"That one looks like a dragon," he said, pointing to one
cloud.
Shampoo shook her head. "[It doesn't look like any dragon
I've ever seen. That looks more like a snake with wings.]"
"That's what dragons look like in Central America. And they
like to play poker, too."
"[Really?]"
"Yeah, but they always try to cheat -"
Ranma leapt over the lovebirds, Akane following hot on his
heels.
"What's wrong?" Ryoga said, sensing the worry in their
auras.
"Ko-chan's in trouble!" Ranma cried over his shoulder.
"Ko-chan?" Ryoga said. She *was* his sister, and even though
their relationship had been ... somewhat rocky, duty to
family called.
He leapt to his feet. "C'mon, Shampoo-chan!"
Shampoo followed suit, and they were both out of the park
when she realized that he'd called her 'Shampoo-chan'.
She stopped for a moment to giggle like a schoolgirl before
grabbing Ryoga and pointing him in the right direction.
* * * * * * * * * *
An hour later, the Tendo dojo was filled with concerned
members of Hibiki blood or Hibiki near-relations.
Huddled under blankets were Ranko and Doctor Tofu, both
relating the mistake they made in trying to talk to the
beast.
Both were battered, bruised, egos hurting more that
anything.
"I should have known better," Tofu moaned. "I nearly got Ko-
chan killed!"
"Stop beating yourself up, Ono-sama," she murmured, rubbing
her aching head wrapped in bandages. "We survived. In six
years, we'll know how to use the bridle properly again."
Ramna held his sister gently, dressing what wounds she allowed him to. Akane attended upon the doctor, who was
grinning silly for Ranko calling him 'Ono-sama' again. Ryoga
and Shampoo were feeding the baby as Kasumi prepared lunch
in the kitchen. Soun and Genma were seated at the other end
of the dining room table, playing shogi and cheating each
other.
"{So, Pantyhose's - I mean - Jiro's monster-half is roaming
out there again, only in human form this time?}"
"Unfortunately, Shampoo," Tofu nodded, wrapping the blanket
closer to himself. "Only the Gods know if he's going to look
for Jiro or plot for a later date. We can only assume he
*is* going to be after Jiro for as long as both are alive."
"That stinks," Ranma stated the collective thought.
"We'll be ready again," Ryoga added. "Jerk or not, the duty
of family is first and foremost."
"Got that right, P-chan!" Ranko grinned.
The Lost Boy smiled back at her. Shampoo snuggled him
closer and shot daggers at her future sister-in-law. "Mine,
Magical Girl, mine-mine-mine!" she mouthed silently.
Ranko, reading Shampoo's lips, replied the same way; "Keep
him - and don't call me 'Magical Girl'."
Genma pushed his glasses up and winked at Soun. The Tendo
patriarch nodded back, both watching their engaged children
out the corner of their eyes.
<Soon, Tendo, we'll be stinking rich,> Genma thought.
<Gods, this hangover sucks,> Soun thought.
Nabiki had gotten worried when Ranma and Akane weren't
present at lunch, and went home to check on them. Passing by
the wreckage of Tofu's clinic, she broke into a run.
Dashing inside, she saw the assembled group. "Oh my god!
What happened?"
"The damn Pantyhose monster escaped," Ranma snarled.
"Oh crap," Nabiki said. A thought struck her. "Did anyone
think to tell Jiro?"
"I telephoned him at the Saotome place," Kasumi said, popping her head out of the kitchen. "He
didn't seem worried."
"What was he doing there?" Nabiki asked.
"I believe he was going to pummel his father into a bloody
pulp," Kasumi replied, "because of -" she glanced at Soun.
"- *You* know."
Nabiki nodded. He hadn't taken the (possible) bad news any
better than she did.
"While I'm here," Nabiki said, "Oh, Daddy!"
"Yes, Nabiki-chan?" Soun said, wincing slightly as he turned
his head a bit too fast.
<Ah! Hung over!> she noticed. <Excellent!> "Oh Daddy, the
school is having a field trip to the Diet, and you need to
sign these permission slips for me and Akane." She smiled
her sweetest smile at him.
Akane glanced at her sister. "I didn't hear anything about
this."
"I'm not surprised - you and Ranma were gone all that time,
you missed a lot."
Akane nodded.
As Soun signed his slips, Nabiki put one down in front of
Genma.
Genma 'hmph'ed. "What does Ranma need to learn at the Diet?
It has nothing to do with martial arts!"
"Oh, well," Nabiki said, "so you don't mind if Akane goes
alone, and maybe meets some handsome, suave, wealthy
diplomat -"
"Like hell!" Ranma protested. "Why would she want someone
suave and good-looking? She's got *me*!"
Genma took the paper and signed it. <No way will I let that
idiot boy loose my nest egg at the last moment!>
Nabiki smiled as she took up the papers, then quietly nodded
to Kasumi as she left for the Records Office.
* * * * * * * * * * *
The next few days passed quietly. No mysterious supernatural
occurances, no monster attacks, no duels of super-powered
martial artists. Peace and quiet reigned.
Of course, this bizarre and unnatural event made the
residents of Nerima terrified.
Then the People's Turnip Liberation Strikeforce attacked an
all-you-can-eat vegetarian restaurant with barbeque-sauce
bombs and tried to free the salad toppings into the wild,
and everyone relaxed.
Which has nothing to do with our story.
In Nerima Park, a small group of odd persons were gathered
together.
Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo, carrying a picnic lunch, arm-
in-arm; followed by Ranko Saotome and Ono Tofu, also
carrying a picnic lunch. Close behind them came Ryoga and
Jiro Hibiki, followed by their father Ichiro.
They were converging on a small area, surrounded with
banners in an old Chinese script. Two low chairs faced a
brazier in the middle. Nearby, Nabiki Tendo and her toady
Kikuko were setting up a video camera.
"Well, it's about time," Nabiki said.
"What's going on, anyway?" Akane asked. "Why did Shampoo
want to meet us here?"
"More to the point," Nabiki riposted, "why the lunch
baskets?"
Ranko shrugged. "We thought we'd make a day out of it."
"So what are you doing here, Nabiki?" Ranma asked.
"I'm being paid good money to record this little event."
Tofu was curious. "What event?"
Surprisingly, it was Ryoga who answered. "The Matriarch's
Challenge."
"Is that an Amazon game show?" Jiro asked snidely.
"Stupid-Boy have no respect for tradition - as usual," said
a lilting voice from above.
Standing atop a nearby light pole was a black-haired girl in
an Amazon fighting outfit, her incredibly long hair was done
in a single braid that reached past her ankles. In one hand
was a dau - the Chinese answer to the katana - and in the
other hand was an ornately-decorated hand fan with obvious
steel edges.
"Rose Petal?!?" Jiro and Ichiro exclaimed in surprise.
"You know her?" Nabiki asked.
Ranma glanced up at her, then looked at Jiro. "Isn't that
our other sister that you slept with?"
Mass facefault, accompanied by a malleting.
"OW!" quoth Ranma.
"Sorry, love," Akane answered, "but that question *demanded*
it."
Rose Petal hopped down. "Nihao, Stupid-Brother and Almost-
As-Stupid-Father."
"My daughter," Ichiro said gravely, bowing. "What brings you
to your ancestral homeland - besides the opportunity to
insult me?"
"Here on Amazon business."
"You didn't mention she was an Amazon," Ranma said.
"She isn't," Jiro answered.
"'Wasn't'," Rose Petal interrupted. "Adopted into Amazon
tribe after you left. Best warrior in age group - would be
Village Champion, but not born into tribe, plus Shampoo
family got political clout."
"I take it that the 'business' is this - 'Matriarch's
Challenge' - that Ryoga mentioned?" Ranko asked.
"Yes - just moment, who you?"
"Forgive me, oneechan," Ranko said, bowing. "I'm Ranko
Saotome, your sister."
Rose Petal slapped Ichiro in the head with her fan. "You do
it *again*?"
Ranko gestured to Ranma, "And this is our brother Ranma -"
Rose Petal punched Ichiro.
"- And our other brother Ryoga -"
Rose Petal hit Ichiro in the gut.
"- and Nabiki who may or may not be another sister."
"Here," Akane said, handing Rose Petal her mallet. "Try
this."
"TAKE *THIS*, BALLS-FOR-BRAINS!" <WHAM!!>
"Ite ..." Ichiro moaned from the ground.
"Is Vastly-Stupid-Father *completely* unable to keep pants
up?" Rose Petal muttered.
"As long as I've known him," Tofu said.
Ranko completed introductions while Ichiro recovered from
his malleting.
"Nice hammer," Rose Petal remarked to Akane. "Good grip,
nice heft."
"Thanks," Akane said, smiling. "I find it very useful in
keeping my man in line."
"HEY!" Ranma remarked, "I'm standing right here, y'know!"
"Hush, silly," Akane said, kissing him gently.
Nabiki, Jiro, and Ryoga snickered.
Mousse appeared, dressed in ornate formal robes out of the
Mandarin period. "Everyone please be silent during the
ceremonies. This is essential. I can't emphasize this
strongly enough." He looked at Ryoga. "Should I translate it
to Pig-Latin?"
"Just what is going on here?" Ranko demanded.
Ryoga answered, "Shampoo has challenged Cologne."
"IS SHE COMPLETELY NUTS?!?" Ranma protested. "She'll be
killed!"
"At Cologne's level, it works differently," Mousse said. "If
Shampoo wins this challenge, she will be acknowledged by
Amazon Society as a Matriarch in her own right - an equal to
Cologne, and entitled to a seat on the Amazon Council."
All assembled were impressed.
"And if she loses?" Nabiki asked.
"Slavery," Rose Petal said.
All assembled cringed.
"I think Shampoo would rather be dead," Ranma said softly.
Mousse took a deep breath. "That is also an option."
"That why Rose Petal here," the adopted Amazon said, "to
witness and report to Council. That - plus girl's video - be
presented to Council, to make contest legal."
Mousse began openly weeping.
"C'mon, Mousse - it ain't that bad," Ryoga said. "She's been
preparing for this for a week."
"Shampoo is almost seventeen," Rose Petal remarked.
"Youngest ever winner of Matriarch's Challenge was one
hundred thirty-eight. Few even try before one hundred
fifty."
"So ... we're watching a toddler enter a match against a
Grand Champion," Ranko summed up.
Rose Petal nodded. "Should be short and nasty."
The appointed hour came, and Mousse stood by the brazier. He
sprinkled various obscure powders in the brazier, muttering
words whose meaning even Tofu did not know.
He removed a lit match from somewhere in his sleeves and
dropped it in, causing an ethereal white flame to spring up.
Stepping back from the brazier, Shampoo and Cologne arrived
and entered the circle.
Both wore identical blue robes, and identical lacquered
headpieces, in the design of intertwined flowering vines
with blooms of many colors.
The two women bowed slightly over the brazier, then sat upon
the chairs.
To a casual observer, it appeared that the two women just
stared at each other.
To this audience, with highly-trained ki senses, other
events were happening.
Their auras expanded, flowed forward, and into the fire.
The white flame suddenly became green and blue. The two
colors swirled, then seperated, leaving the half that faced
Shampoo blue, and the other half green.
"What's happening?" Nabiki asked Rose Petal in a whisper.
"Two womans have put wills into Sacred Flame," Rose Petal
explained. "Now wills struggle for dominance. Both will
argue positions, causing wills to strengthen and weaken.
When flame is one color, winner is decided. Is contest not
only of logic in positions and ability to present argument,
but strength of will."
"[Xian Pu,]" Cologne said in the Amazon dialect, "[You were
sent to this land to retrieve a strong husband. You did so.
Now we must return, to strengthen the Nation.]"
"[I disagree, Koh Lon,]" Shampoo answered. "[I believe the
Nation will be strengthened in other ways than breeding our
people like farm animals, and that the Nation will be better
served here.]"
Cologne's flame flared up briefly, but Shampoo's never
wavered.
"[I have the experience of three hundred years of adult
wisdom, *child*,]" Cologne said harshly. "[I know what is
best.]"
"[I have knowledge of the world as it is,]" Shampoo replied,
"[not dreams of how the Elders wish it to be.]"
Shampoo's side flared, while Cologne's burnt steady.
"[For three thousand years, Xian Pu, we have survived by
mating the strong to the strong, by standing above the petty
dynasties and squabbles of the rest of the world. We have
the mighiest warriors in the world, who practice the
strongest martial art in the world.]"
"[You are wrong, Koh Lon. On both counts.]"
Cologne's flame burst out beyond the brazier, a visible
display of her outrage.
"[In the past,]" Shampoo continued, unimpressed, "[The
Amazons have avoided conflict with the winged inhabitants of
Phoenix Mountain, and their god, Saffron. For in the past, a
thousand warriors once challenged Saffron, and only two
survived.]
"[Yet I watched Saffron die. At the hands of a warrior who
was *not* an Amazon.]"
Cologne's flame dimmed briefly.
"[He was trained in Amazon techniques, and the Phoenix-God
had not attained his full powers.]"
Shampoo's flame flickered slightly.
"[But he made those techniques his own. You yourself taught
me that the Hiryu Shoten Ha had but a single combat
function, which could not be changed without disrupting the
conditions that allowed the maneuver to be performed.]
"[Yet Ranma Saotome was capable of wielding the Hiryu Shoten
Ha in a manner that, according to you, was impossible.]"
Cologne's flame decreased in height.
"[The conditions were unique, the move a clumsy
improvisation.]" Desperately, Cologne changed the subject.
"[And still that does not answer the question. Why do you
refuse to bring your husband home?]"
Cologne's flame flared back up.
"[To strengthen and preserve the Nation.]"
Cologne seemed confused. "[This is contradictory. The Nation
cannot be strengthened by keeping powerful warriors away.]"
"[You are wrong.]"
Shampoo's fire grew.
"[How may the Nation be destroyed, Koh Lon?]" Shampoo asked.
Cologne laughed. "[The Nation cannot be destroyed! No army
can conquer the Jusenkyo valley!]"
"[I know several ways,]" Shampoo said. "[A tactical nuclear
device, detonated a kilometer over the valley, would destroy
all life. The People's Government has thousands of such
devices, and the means of delivering them.]
Cologne's fire decreased a step.
"[An odorless, colorless nerve gas can be released fifty
kilometers away and be blown into the valley, killing all
animal life, including human. Once again, the People's
Government has thousands of liters of such chemicals.]
Cologne's fire decreased another step.
"[An artificial virus, unknown to our herbalists, can be
released, killing all humans in the valley before we knew
anything was wrong. Again, such a weapon is possessed by the
People's Government.]
Cologne's fire decreased yet another step.
"[The Amazons are mighty warriors - but in today's world,
that is not enough. Should the 'petty dynasties' that rule
today's world decide that the Amazons are too bothersome,
then the Amazons will die. Without ever seeing the faces of
their killers.]"
"[But they have not,]" Cologne argued, "[because we have
kept our own laws and counsel. Because we live our
traditional lives.]"
Shampoo's eyes blazed, sending her flame high. "[Are we
proud warriors, or are we sheep?!? Do we cower and hide
because we might be slapped down?!? What happened to 'the
mightiest warriors practicing the mightiest martial art'??
Or was that a lie??]"
Mousse and Rose Petal gasped in shock. Shampoo just told a
*Matriarch* that one of the Prime Tenets of Amazon Culture
was a *LIE*??
"[It is true!]"
"[It is NOT!!]" Shampoo said. "[Look around you!]"
Cologne glanced around her, at the assembled persons; Ryoga,
Ranma, Ranko, Jiro, the physician Tofu, the Amazon Rose
Petal, another man she did not know.
"[Around us,]" Shampoo said, "[are the family of my chosen
consort - the mightiest warriors the world has ever seen.]
"[My chosen consort, Ryoga, whom you referrd to as 'one of
your most promising students'.]
"[Ranma Saotome, who killed the Phoenix-God, and performed
feats that are considered impossible. Who defeated *you* in
fair battle - twice!]
"[His sister Ranko Saotome, his equal in the Art in every
way;]"
"[Rose Petal, who would now be the Champion, save for
political considerations and pointless prejudice -}"
Rose Petal blushed at this acknowledgement of her
ability. She felt slightly ashamed of having referred to
Shampoo as a 'brainless tart' behind her back.
"[And Jiro Hibiki, once called Pantyhose Taro - whom once,
as I recall, defeated fifty Amazon warriors in one day just
for something to do.]"
Cologne's flame had dwindled.
"[And with them, thier father, Ichiro. Would you care to
judge *his* prowess? Or just accept that his own children
dare not cross him?]"
Cologne appraised the strange man. His aura, his body
language ... yes, she might believe that. He even looked
like Ranma, unlike that idiot Genma. <I wonder if he'd like
to settle down in a nice quiet Amazon village?>
"[What of your boast now, Koh Lon?]"
"[IRRELEVANT!!]" Cologne shrieked, sending her flame up like
a geyser. "[You have taken one of them as a mate! Thus his
strength is Amazon strength! That strength, guided by the
Elders' wisdom, makes us mighty!]" Cologne's eyes narrowed.
"[That same wisdom holds the secrets of the Jusenkyo Curses!
A wisdom that can cure you!]"
"[We know that wisdom - refrain from changing for a year and
a day.]"
Cologne snorted contemptuously. "[There are *other* cures!
Do you think we would allow knowledge of the easiest or
safest methods of curing the Curse to leave the Archives? We
know *all* the Lore of Jusenkyo! Lore which can help you and
you mate - and his family - or doom you all!]"
Shampoo gazed at Cologne with pity. "[Is that what you've
been reduced to, Koh Lon? Blackmail and threats?]"
Cologne looked into Shampoo's steady gaze ... and knew fear.
The child was so confident, uncowed even before her threats
and her rage. It was like this was a different person.
"[You claim to know *all* the lore of Jusenkyo,]" Shampoo
said.
Cologne felt her confidence rise. "[All!]"
Shampoo gestured to Ryoga, who brought out a small box.
Placing the box on the ground, he removed a small cat, pink
with purple points. The cat lolled, drugged into a stupor.
Cologne's eyes widened in recognition of Shampoo's cursed
form, as did Mousse's.
Shampoo nodded, and Ryoga pulled out a bottle of water. He
poured a small quantity on the cat ... who became a naked
Shampoo.
Mousse, Rose Petal, and Cologne looked back and forth
between the two identical Shampoos, surprise and confusion
on their faces.
Ryoga pulled out a thermos and poured some steaming water on
the naked Shampoo, who became a cat once more.
"[You who know *all* of Jusenkyo lore]," Shampoo said
sarcastically, "[can surely explain what you have just
witnessed.]"
Cologne looked away.
"[You did not even know that the true Curse is not the
changing of form, but the creation of a second soul, who
wars within the victim, creating nightmares and eventually
madness.]" Shampoo stood. "[Your assumptions of Amazon
superiority have weakened the Nation, to the point where we
now stand on the brink of extinction! And your solution to
these threats to the Nation's very existence?!? Ignoring
them while you play your pervert's breeding games!]"
Cologne's flame dwindled lower and lower, while Shampoo's
flame grew, encroaching on the territory formerly held by
Cologne's fire.
"[The survival of the Amazon Nation is not in breeding, but
in *expansion*! We can't all dwell in one place, like a
target on an archery range, waiting to be shot full of
holes! We must *grow*!]"
Suddly, Cologne's flame burst up, pushing Shampoo's back.
"[Foolish child! The Empire lasted a bare fifteen years
before the forces of Genghis Khan crippled it! And your own
arguments have spelled out why a new Empire could not be
born!]"
Shampoo just shook her head. "[I spoke not of Empires, but
expansion. Colonies would suit our purposes much better,
anyway.]"
"['Colonize' *where*? This planet has been claimed, down to
the last mote of dust! Or were you thinking of catching a
ride on a UFO?]"
"[Every major city on Earth has a Chinatown. Many nations
have places that may be purchased. It would be simple to set
up small villages in major cities, that keep an Amazon
lifestyle.]"
"[They would be swallowed up! Absorbed!]" Cologne said
contemptuously.
"[Like the Hasidim? The Amish? The Muslims?]"
<Damn - good point.> "[Would you scatter our people across
the Earth? There are less than two thousand Amazons alive!
You would leave us without a homeland!]"
"[No,]" Shampoo said. "[The Laws of Inclusion allow the
recruiting of outsiders into the Nation. Like Rose Petal. We
just need a few, then we recruit others. We will find the
strong and willful women and the strong and willing males.
The nation will grow, with fresh blood from the four corners
of the earth!]
"[We would have Joketsuzouko as our homeland, but we would
survive its destruction. The Nation would grow, and
prosper.]
"[What is more, we would have a true voice in the affairs of
the host nation. We would make an impact on the world. No
more would we be a quaint legend or a laughingstock, but a
proud, strong people!]"
Cologne's flame died, filling the brazier with a single blue
flame.
Cologne collapsed as the psychic backlash hit her. Tofu and
Rose Petal rushed to her aid.
"SHAMPOO!" Mousse cried, rushing toward her, arms
outstretched -
- only to meet *that look*. It was the look that Cologne
gave him when she felt he was being too stupid for his own
good.
Mousse stopped in panic.
Rose Petal came up and bowed. "[I congratulate you,
Matriarch Xian Pu.]"
"[Thank you, Rose Petal.]"
She nodded toward Cologne. "[What of her?]"
"[Let her resume her station in Joketsuzouko. I and my mate
will remain, and found a fourth village in Nerima. When our
population has grown enough, a delegate will be sent to the
Council.]"
Rose Petal nodded. The Second and Third Villages had been
founded in just such a fashion, so it had the strength of
precedent.
Besides, the rest of the Council would be looking at
Shampoo's colonial experiment with great interest.
* * * * * * * * * *
Shampoo sat in a booth in the Nekohanten, looking like she
just ran a marathon. Ryoga gave her tea and warm broth and
fussed over her. Around them, the witnesses to her Ascension
to the Matriarchy were celebrating, as were a few other
guests...
"How the hell did you beat Cologne's will?" Ranma asked.
"Did you drug her or something?"
"Ranma!" Akane said, hitting him in the back of the head.
"That's rude!"
"No, but ..." Shampoo smiled. "Shampoo did cheat - with
Ranma help."
"ME?!?" Ranma exclamined. "What'd I do??"
"On Phoenix Mountain. You use egg spell and mirror."
"Huh?"
Shampoo sighed. "Egg spell make victim obey whoever they
first see when emerge from egg. You show Shampoo mirror."
"So?" Ranma asked.
"From that day, Shampoo listen only to own heart."
"Then why hang around here?" Ranko asked. "Why not just
leave?"
"Because Shampoo learn new things here, now that Shampoo see
with new eyes. When time came, Shampoo left."
Rose Petal handed her a note. "[The Council sent this note
for you.]"
Shampoo opened it, and laughed softly.
"What's so funny?" Ryoga asked, attracting the notice of the
rest of the celebrants.
"It from Amazon Council, respecting my courage in attempting
Challenge, and waiving slavery penalty, since it not really
fair to do to one so young and outclassed." She chuckled.
"Comb and Brush going to have seizures when hear Shampoo
win.
"And adoption of baby into Amazons approved!" Shampoo
crowed. "With comments - mostly to effect of 'Now we have
revenge on Panty-Stealing Demon!'"
Everyone chuckled in agreement.
"Since Matriarch is present, and is oldest blood-relative,
they leave name decision in her hands." Shampoo thought.
"Now *Shampoo* is Matriarch of Fourth Village, and is mother
of baby. Shampoo name baby!"
Shampoo gestured at Ryoga, who handed the infant to her.
"Meet Shampoo's son, first Amazon of Fourth Village -
Conditioner!"
Jiro slammed his head into the table he shared with his
father and stated into the wood slab, "I wanted to name the
bugger 'Pantyhose' to see how he likes it."
"Afraid not, oniichan," Ranko chimed in. "Your monster half
took that one."
"Wants me to kill it, that's it."
Ranma grinned, tracing a finger over the infant's gurgling
mouth. "I think the name is good for him - YOWCH!!!"
Shampoo giggled. "He teething."
"First child ... " Ryoga murmured, stroking Conditioner's
head. "And more to follow from the Matriarch of the Fourth
Village herself."
The Amazon smiled broadly, hugging both her son and her
fiance. "{We'll make that family together, my love.}"