Playing Your Song
By: Dreiser
You were a star from the first moment I met you.
I didn't realize it at the time but you were. It was in your
destiny, in your genes, in your fate, to be so.
What was it that Tamari called you? I remember, Key: The
Metal Idol. I smacked him for saying that and you scolded me for
it. Then again, you always scolded me.
But it was true in a sense. You were an idol to the world
and to all of your fans. They needed you with a sort of intensity that
was almost frightening. It was like to go on they needed your
kindness, your love, your wisdom. And you? You simply needed
them to be there for you.
To listen to you. To listen and care.
Care like Sakura cared for you.
Your rise to the top came so fast that it stunned us all. Even
those who had been with you since the beginning. And we knew
your power, we knew your strength and still, it took us by surprise.
One day you were unknown and the next you had
thousands of people mobbing outside of your apartment in hopes
of catching the slightest glance of you.
I'm not sure where you got the grace to deal with all of
their questions and all of their stares but it was quite like magic
when I watched you with your fans. Their faces rapt as they hung
on everything you said, everything you sung. Like they were trying
to understand you inside and out. Trying to bury themselves inside
of you to find your soul.
All in a sort of attempt to fathom this unspoken but obvious
love that you had for them and the entire world.
I remember when we first started dating it was the biggest
scandal to hit the music world in months. And in the music world,
months is a long time. Even now, I cringe thinking about it. About
the insults and accusations.
For months I was known as Tataki Shuichi, the snake who
had taken advantage of their precious Key.
You were more angry about it than me. It was the first time
that you ever got mad at your fans. I don't think it was our
difference in age that made them so angry. It was more your
perceived innocence and an odd belief that somehow, I would end
up taking it away from you.
To me, this shows that they never really knew you. As
much as I love you, Key, you're not innocent. After all you went
through and were born into it was impossible for you to be. No,
you were never an innocent.
What you were was hopeful. And they feared me taking
away that hope. I'm not sure why because I lived on it as much as
they did. I needed it and you to survive.
But still, you got angry at me when the accusations started
flying. Probably because you saw me doubt our relationship and
our love. Doubt that what you felt for me was truly love and not my
own manipulation through the overwhelming need I felt for you.
I can almost feel my chest aching from where you gave it a
hard and decisive poke. You called me, for lack of a better word,
a complete idiot and told me in no uncertain terms that I couldn't
possibly take advantage of you because you were far more mature
than me anyway.
How right you were because now I'm anything but mature.
You're gone and I'm angry. I'm angry and I'm hurt and most of all
I'm filled with a sense of helplessness.
Why did you die? Why must this happen to everyone with
your power? And will this happen to our daughter as well? Our
daughter that you never lived to see?
I have to go on for her. For Sakura. Yes, Sakura. I know
that we'd been debating names for a girl and you still weren't sure if
you felt entirely comfortable naming her that but when I saw her it
just fit. I knew that she was Sakura.
And that she would fill the hole in my heart.
Are you with her now, Key? My wife... my love... my life...
are you with your sister of soul and blood now?
I hope you are and I hope that you're listening. Listening to
the sounds of your fans. The sound of them calling out to you, their
voices as one as they move ahead.
Listen closely, and you'll hear that in their most hidden
hearts of hearts that they're playing your song.
-End-
The character of Tataki Shuichi is from Key: The Metal Idol. This
is a sort of depressing fic but today I was semi-dumped by a girl I
like and I was in a hit and run accident that trashed my car.
Therefore I'm in an angst filled and depressed mood. Hence the fic
and hence my listening to Hole for nearly two hours now.
Send comments to: Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com
Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780
Thanks to Red Death all of my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm
"I had to tell them you were gone. I had to tell them they were
wrong. And now they're playing your song."
-Hole-
Juri Rules All.
There's nothing mad
about Washuu's genius.
Only Kuno smotes well.
-Quotes from me-