Ryoga, trying to find the bridge for his Appointment with
Doom, didn't notice Ukyo until she ran into him.

"Ukyo-san!" he said. "Do you know where the canal bridge
is?"

"About a kilometer in the opposite direction from the way
you're walking," she said absently.

"Thanks," he said, then kept walking in the same direction.

"Hold it!" she said, noticing the rock and rope. "What the
heck are you doing?"

"I'm going to End It All," he said. "Now that Ranma's
Expecting, I have no reason to live."

"Expecting what?" Ukyo asked.

"A BABY!!!" Ryoga wailed. "WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

<WHAM!!> went Ukyo's Spatula.

"Boys don't have babies, jackass!"

"Even ones that turn into girls?"

That made Ukyo think.

"Where did you hear this?" Ukyo asked.

"I overheard Akane talking to the doctor."

"C'mon, you twit," she said, dragging Ryoga behind her.
"Let's get to the bottom of this. HEY! AKANE! RANCHAN!"

Akane and Ryoga, about to go in, turned.

"What's with the rock?" Akane wondered.

"Probably some new training," Ranma said.

Ryoga burst into tears. "I OVERHEARD THE DOCTOR! I KNOW
EVERYTHING! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

Ukyo spatula-slammed his head.

Akane blushed. "Oh." <They know about his Hypoactive Sexual
Desire Disorder.>

Ranma looked confused. "You mean about my -"

Ryoga nodded. "I heard the doctor when Akane asked about how
to take care of you."

"Oh!" Akane said suddenly. "That reminds me! You forgot to
take your vitamins!"

Ukyo saw the label; 'Recommended For Pregnant Women'.

"YEEK!! IT'S TRUE!!" Ukyo exclaimed, her eyes bugging out.

"Keep it down!" Ranma said. "I don't want the whole world to
know! Everyone who finds out starts treatin' me funny!"

"That's perfectly natural, Ranma," Akane said soothingly.

"Akane! How could you do this to him?!?" Ukyo accused,
spatula raised for a decapitation strike.

"I didn't do it!" Akane said. "Genma did it!"

Ryoga and Ukyo facefaulted.

"B-b-but how - who - what -" Ryoga asked.

"I thought it was just more training," Ranma said. "I didn't
know anything was wrong until the damn thing penetrated."

"And I won't let him do anything like that ever again,"
Akane said, squeezing him tight. "My poor Ranma."

Ukyo and Ryoga were silent for a moment. Then they got up.

"Excuse me, Ranchan," Ukyo said in a cold voice. "I have to
go kill your father."

"I'm coming, too!" Ryoga said, untying the rock.

As Ryoga and Ukyo walked off, Ranma looked at Akane. "What
was that about?"

Akane shrugged.

"Poor Ranma," Ryoga said. "To have to suffer like that -"

"That damn panda has gone too far!" Ukyo snarled. "This is
beyond mere evil! He must be *DESTROYED*!!"

"Right!" Ryoga agreed. "To the dojo!"