[Forenote: Sorry, Rene... I wrote this before you caught all the flak about the storyline (I didn't know about that, honest!), so no hard feelings, eh?]
What are you N2? Choose from 150 free e-mail addresses.
http://www.n2mail.com
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: Adventures_in_being_mean_ep_1.txt
[I think I will start MSTing fanfics I deem worthy. Yes, that is a good idea... now where to begin... Oh, I'll
just do one now!]
[By the way, all the characters (except those in the fics) belong to me. Me. Get it? SO steal them, and you
die at the hands of copyright law!]
Adventures in being mean!
-starring me, Forrest "DUNOTS" Walker
-co-starring the Modern Heroes! (yay yay)
Forrest and his fictional friends sat around the living room of 1319 W. Alabama, or Eckhardt
Haus, as it was better known. He was talking to Anja and William, Brad and K�-�ka were doing their lover
thing at the other end of the room, and Lea, Lars, and Keose played scrabble.
Forrest looked at the camera, surprise on his face. "What? Hey, we're on!"
With a little prodding, everybody gathered around the table in the dining room, facing the fourth
wall. Anja seemed less than happy with the affair, but the rest were generally apathetic.
"Today marks the occasion of the first ever "ADVENTURES IN BEING MEAN!" Forrest's
words echoed a few times before dying down. "Anyhow, this is my own little MST theater, with which I
can ridicule bad fanfiction! Isn't that nice?"
"Yes, it is nice," K�-�ka answered.
"Right. Anyhow, this is how it works. Since the formula is three people at a time, that means the
hacklers will be me and two others," Forrest continued, "But as you can see, there are seven others. To
solve this, I have a system of random partners: dice."
William produced a pair of dice and handed them to Forrest. "Is it time for the roll call?"
"Yep. Do it to it!"
* ONE: William! *
Why am I doing this again?
* TWO: Lars! *
Where's the camera?
* THREE: Brad! *
They can't be THAT bad...
* FOUR: Anja! *
If they would learn to write, we wouldn't be doing this.
* FIVE: Lea! *
I don't mind being mean.
* SIX: Keose! *
I wanna MST a lemon!
* WILD: K�-�ka! *
K�-�ka likes to help authors write better.
* HOST: Forrest! *
I'm the writer! Worship me!
"Alright, so here's the deal," Forrest explained, after the goofy roll call sequence, "I have thse two
dice, and I roll them."
Lea cocked an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Shut up," Forrest replied, shaking the two wooden dice in his hand, "Anyway, whatever two
numbers I roll will be the two who accompany me to hell. If I roll doubles, I roll again."
"If you get three doubles in a row, do you go to jail?" Brad asked.
"No, K�-�ka goes in instead of me. She's too nice to be a regular, and I need a break every now
and again. Anyhow, it's time for the roll!"
Forrest rolls the dice, producing...
FIVE AND THREE!
All the others wander off, leaving Brad and Lea with Forrest.
"So we're the first, eh?" Lea asked.
"Yeah. Hey, look," Forrest added, "I don't want to write this intro crap anymore, so let's get
going."
Brad shrugged. "Sure."
Forrest, a scraggly man with long blond hair and a teal suit, walked into a swirling gateway,
followed by his companions.
(To find out what these characters look like, go to http://DUNOTS.tripod.com and click on
character info, as I don't want to write descriptive crap either.)
* Past the gates of hell, and just to the west of UST is a bizarre domain, known only as... BAD
FANFICTION! *
Brad: How'd we get here?
Lea: So we're in script now?
Forrest: Shhh! I'm not paying you to criticize the medium!
Lea: You're paying us?
I do now own Ranma 1/2
Brad: He does? That must've been expensive...
Forrest: Note to self: I can steal intellectual property just by saying I own it.
or any of its characters.
Lea: Which is it? The show or the characters?
Forrest: He's not certain, because he only just made this copyright law up.
I wish I did so
I could receive the praise and money from such a well loved series.
Forrest: He's getting greedy...
Lea: As opposed to poorly-loved ones.
Brad: Like Eva?
Forrest: Quiet. Do you want the Eva-otaku on our asses?
A talented writer and a whole bunch of men in business suits in
a far away country own Ranma 1/2.
Brad: A long time ago, in a country far, far away...
Forrest: Which talented writer? I'd like to think that I am...
Lea: I think he means Takahashi Rumiko.
Forrest: So the guys in suits are her husbands?
This is a very rough draft.
Forrest: You could buff steel with it!
Lea: A use. Finally.
Something I toyed around with and just
wanted to see how it goes.
Brad: Sounds like a transformer.
Forrest: I never needed the manuals. I was that cool.
Brad: Wow...
Lea: I'm sure that would something to me if I grew up on Earth...
C & C is always welcomed.
Brad: Thank you.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forrest: <singing> John Henry was a steel workin' man...
Cloudquest Productions
Brad: Maybe he DID buy Ranma �. He has a production company.
Forrest: Who does he think he is, Spielberg?
Lea: My production company is called "Hammerblow Studios."
Brad: You have a production company too?
Presents
A Ranma Fanfiction
Brad: Hey, this is like watching a movie! This is kinda fun!
Lea: Until you get to the content.
Forrest: Don't read ahead.
The Drowned Girl
Forrest: Sequel to Die Schreckilche Maedchen!
Brad and Lea: What?
Forrest: It's a German movie... [they stare at him blankly] Geez, get some cultural references!
By
Rene Chavez
Lea: The bastard!
Brad: What?
Lea: He drowned her!
renechavez@sprintmail.com
Forrest: As opposed to MCImail.com.
Brad: Don't we use AT&Tmail?
Ranma jumped over rooftop to rooftop.
Brad: Hey, he's playing leapfrog!
Lea: With one person?
Forrest: He's skilled enough.
His breathing was becoming
heavy. He stopped and listened.
Lea: To his breathing?
Brad: He has to make sure he doesn't overexert himself.
He could hear screams and fighting
following him from every direction.
Forrest: I have nightmares where screams follow me...
Brad: They're coming from every direction! They've got him cornered!
He stopped and took a deep
breath. All his problems were weighing him down.
Forrest: Bummer.
Ever since the
failed wedding fiasco, it seems that the stakes have gone higher.
Forrest: Tense!
Lea: I wish his skills have gone higher.
Brad: That sentence doesn't make sense.
Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi have become more aggressive in pursuing
Ranma's affection. Because of this new aggression, Akane has become
more violent and less restrained toward him.
Brad: She was restrained?
Lea: <Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi> Oh no! Ranma might get married! Time to be more aggressive!
Forrest: Man, if they were passive and Akane was restrained DURING the show...
Brad: So, will Happosai finally become lecherous?
His father, Genma,
and Soun Tendo
Brad: So Genma ISN'T Ranma's father?
Forrest: Either that, or both Genma and Soun.
Lea: Ew. That's unnatural.
have become more persistent in marrying him off to
a Akane.
Brad: It should be AN Akane.
Lea: If there were multiple Akanes, it might solve a few problems.
Nothing was working out for him anymore.
Lea: Not even the dumbbells.
Forrest: Once again, how does this differ from before?
"Why can't I fix this?" he said to himself. A sudden splash of water struck him.
Brad: Shouldn't that be a light bulb?
Lea: Nope, in Ranma's case, even thought balloons are against him.
"Sweeto!" screamed Happosai as he glomped onto Ranma's chest.
Ranma's aura flared.
Forrest: Not to mention his nostrils.
Lea: HER nostrils.
Brad: Please don't get into this fight...
The old hentai came at the wrong time.
Forrest: Who wants the sex joke?
Lea: Keose's not here.
Forrest: Oh.
With
a quick and powerful kick,
Brad: You itch like a tick! Your thighs are too thick!
Happosai was sent flying away.
Forrest: Air Nerima: Love it AND leave it.
Ranma took a deep breath and jumped down the street.
Forrest: Boingy, boingy...
Brad: Since when is the street at an angle?
She walked
around for hours until she started heading back to the Tendo house.
Brad: Ranma thinks he's Ryoga?
Lea: She.
Forrest: Ryouga.
Brad: Sorry! Geez!
She crept in and listened.
Brad: Ranma should be a ninja...
Everybody was asleep.
Lea: Ranma heard what he was listening for: snoring.
Forrest: <Tendous> zzzzzzz
Ranma was relieved
that she didn't have to deal with anymore fighting for at least
a while.
Forrest: A while is exactly fifty-five moments.
Brad: I didn't know that.
She walked into the furo and set the hot water.
Brad: How? Did she freeze it? Then it wouldn't be hot.
Forrest: He.
Lea: Must be using the Kachu tenshin amaguri ken.
She took
off his clothes and was about to step into the tub.
All: HUH?
Brad: Whose clothes? Genma's?
Lea: The insanity of Nerima finally took its toll. Ranma is gay.
Forrest: No wonder he wanted to make sure they were asleep.
Lea: She.
She turned
and saw herself in the mirror.
Lea: See? She.
Forrest: Quiet!
"This isn't me," she said.
Brad: This is Ryoga.
Lea: So Ryoga's the guy she undressed?
Forrest: He always was a sucker for the girl-type.
Brad: It's "Tortured Echo" all over again.
She
stepped into the tub and became a male again.
Lea: So far so good... Now to kiss Ryoga and blow up!
Forrest: Ryouga.
"I have to do something," Ranma thought to himself.
Forrest: You get the sex joke, Lea.
Lea: Why me?
Forrest: Because you're Keose's girlfriend.
Lea: [sighs] Fine. <Ranma> About this raging erection...
Brad: Ew! Lea!
Forrest: Keose's rubbing off on you...
Brad: [tries not to laugh. The others eye him evilly.]
Forrest: Can we move on?
Brad and Lea: Yessir.
He sat there
for a while pondering his problems.
Brad: <Ranma> Everyone hates me because I'm beautiful!
Lea: His "problems" look like a vacation compared to my life...
If maybe he weren't cursed,
Forrest: If maybe the author had better word order...
he would be able to handle his problems better.
Brad: Actually, I think he's better at solving problems when he's a girl.
Forrest: I've noticed that, too...
Most of his situations
were placed because of his gender situation.
Lea: That situation being "Thermosensitive Aquatranssexual."
Brad: Nice wordage...
Forrest: Argh! I know it's IC, but why does he hate the curse? I know I'd...
Lea: Cool it. We have to keep going.
Akane hated him because
he wasn't what he appeared to be when they first met.
Brad: He was a girl when they first met, so does that mean...
Lea: So Rene thinks Akane's gay?
Forrest: It's not an entirely unreasonable assumption.
Lea: Of course YOU take his side.
Forrest: Okay, what do you think about Akane?
Lea: Bi all the way.
Forrest: And you are?
Lea: ...Bi.
Forrest: thank you.
Brad: But you wrote her that way...
Forrest: Shut up.
Shampoo hunted
his female half and lusted for his male half.
Brad: Wait. Isn't this after the end of the manga? Shampoo knew about the curse, right?
Lea: It didn't say WHAT Shampoo was hunting for.
Forrest: Heh heh...
Lea: I was created by a lecher...
The same went for
the Kunos.
Brad: What? That's true for Tatewaki, but Kodachi?
Forrest: She was replaced by the Kodachi from "Lesbian �."
Lea: We haven't read that.
Brad: ....yeah....
Ranma had to do something. Suddenly, an idea came to him.
Brad: Was it a light bulb, or another splash of water?
Lea: <Ranma> Hey, as long as I'm clever enough, I can survive in the desert!
Forrest: And I bet he can pull food out of daydreams like in cartoons, too.
A while later, Ranma sneaked into Happosai's room.
All: WHAT?
Brad: Maybe he's after something.
Lea: Hopefully not Happosai... [Shudders]
"It failed
because of dad and the old pervert, maybe if I go solo,"
Lea: Do I have to take this sex joke?
Forrest: No, that one would be too wretched.
Brad: whew!
Ranma thought.
He searched through the pervert's possessions. The man had nothing
but panties and bras.
Lea: Is this a shockfic or what?
Forrest: There's only one other thing Happosai has. Something which is used far too often in fics...
He started knocking on the floors.
Brad: Wasn't he whispering earlier, so that Happosai wouldn't hear him?
He heard
a hollow sound. Ranma felt around a hidden panel. He searched
inside and found what he was looking for, the mirror.
Brad: The mirror! Of course!
Lea: It IS overused.
Forrest: I don't like the mirror. It is an easy solution. It should be forgotten. Writers need to improve.
Brad: Why are you talking like that?
Lea: He's making fun of the choppy sentences.
Brad: oohhhh...
Ranma took a deep breath. "Ok, mirror, we've been through this.
Lea: Who's the fairest in the land? And I KNOW it's me!
This time, I want to go where I can fix everything and..." Ranma
couldn't finish.
Forrest: He's all choked up because it WAS him.
Brad: Well, you ARE supposed to cry to make the mirror work.
The mirror started glowing and a flash of light exploded.
Brad: How does light explode?
Forrest: Law #11.
Lea: What?
Forrest: Everything explodes. Everything.
Ranma was disoriented.
Lea: Exploding light: Don't play that game.
Brad: That would disorient me, too.
The sudden brightness of the day blinded
him. He stood up and adjusted his eyes. "Where am I?" asked Ranma.
Forrest: Convention number 57: Always ask where you are after getting teleported, regardless of whether
anyone is there to hear you or not.
"Help!" shouted a voice. Ranma stood up and placed the mirror
in his shirt.
Lea: It then fell into his pants.
He ran toward the noise.
Lea: He began to regret putting the mirror there when it broke, shredding his genitals.
Brad and Forrest: Owch.
Lea: Heh heh heh.
He ran up a hill and saw
where he was. It was Jusenko, the cursed springs.
Forrest: Sequel to Jusenkyo, the slap happy farm.
He looked down
and two men in armor throwing a large bad tied up with rope into
one of the pools.
Brad: Wh... huh...
Forrest: [Cradling Brad's head] Shh... It's okay... I won't let the sentence hurt you.
Lea: I know English isn't my first language, but shouldn't there be verb in there?
>From the shape and movement, Ranma knew there
was somebody in that.
Brad: Bag. That bag. Just to clarify.
He quickly ran up the spring.
Forrest: BOING!
The men saw
him and coming and quickly grabbed their spears.
Lea: <men> Booga booga!
Brad: Hey, that could be offensive!
Lea: [shrugging] I'm not writing this.
Ranma dodged the
strikes and threw a few more punches at the guards.
Brad: More? That would mean he threw some to begin with...
Forrest: His previous punches were so fast, the narrator didn't see them.
Ranma knocked
out one, but the other had enough time to retaliate.
Forrest: Retaliation gets us nowhere! Didn't they learn during the Great War?
Lea: Which one?
Forrest: Yes, the GaengerWelt in-joke! Go to http://DUNOTS.tripod.com to figure out why it's funny!
He swung his
spear and caught Ranma off guard.
Brad: Ranma? Off guard? Ranma's been slipping since the wedding.
The blow struck him in the stomach.
Forrest: It cut him. The cut hurt. Ranma growled. He fought back.
Ranma quickly grabbed the pole and threw the guard against the rock wall.
Brad: What rock wall?
Forrest: You know, THE rock wall.
Brad: How could I forget...
Ranma hoped he didn't take too much time and dove into the spring.
He felt himself change and swam down to the bottom.
Brad: So, he waited until he felt himself change before he swam down?
Lea: Looks that way.
Brad: What a dick.
She could
see the figure was still moving.
Forrest: Through the bag.
Ranma grabbed a hold of the bag
and started swimming up to the surface. She could feel the person
was still alive.
Forrest Using a tricorder?
Lea: We call those "sojuenearu" where I come from.
Brad: Maybe he checked for a pulse?
Lea: While underwater, and through a bag? Go Ranma!
She quickly put the person in and arms and jumped
away.
Brad: Huh? In what? Did she escape?
Lea: Only to be put back into the bag again by Ranma. The bastard!
Forrest: Ranma armed himself after stealing the girl, but in the present tense...
Those guards were too dangerous to be around them for too
long.
Brad: As in, they'd beat him up.
Ranma ran into the woods
All: OW!
and stopped until she thought he
was safe.
Brad: The same he from the bathroom?
Forrest: Ranma had temprarily forgotten that his gay lover was along for the ride.
Lea: We decided to say it was Ryoga, right?
Ranma set the bag down. He could hear somebody coughing.
Ranma pulled apart the bag.
Forrest: Ranma continued to speak in choppy sentences. It was easy. Ranma didn't have to think.
Ranma's mouth dropped when she saw
the person she just saved.
Lea: Not just the jaw, the whole mouth!
Brad: That would look gross...
Ranma just saved Ranma from being drowned.
Something was happening to Ranma as he pulled the bag open.
Lea: His dad never explained the birds and the bees, I guess.
Forrest: That sentence sounds bad, somehow...
It was his female half.
All: Oh, the surprise!
Ranma looked at himself and he changed back to his own male form.
Forrest: As opposed to Genma's male form.
The girl looked up to him.
Lea: <girl> He's so cool!
Ranma looked at himself. He was a
male again. "I'm cured," Ranma thought.
Forrest: THRILL as Ranma THINKS in CHOPPY SENTENCES!
Lea: AMAZE to Ranma's AWESOME inductive REASONING!
Brad: Hey, don't steal from MST3K.
"Thank you," the redheaded girl said mildly.
Brad: Mildly?
Lea: <girl> Drowning: I can take it or leave it.
Ranma looked at her
closely. She was his female half, but she was different.
Forrest: The same... yet somehow different...
She had
her red hair long and flowing.
Brad: That's weird syntax.
Forrest: She had her hair flowing. That's a cool ability.
She was wearing a kimono and some
fancy jewelry on her hair.
Lea: It fell off.
Ranma was caught in her eyes.
Forrest: <Ranma> Help! Help!
Lea: Onna-Ranma does have some big peepers...
She bowed, "My name is Miyun." Ranma quickly snapped back into reality.
Forrest: <Ranma> Whew! I'm glad I'm not in your eyes anymore!
Brad: Why is she speaking Japanese?
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Why were those guys trying to drown you?" he asked.
Lea: Well, at least his bluntness is IC.
Miyun started crying. Ranma was completely unaware of what to
do. He placed his arm around her. She quickly grabbed on to his
chest and cried into his shirt.
Brad: OW!
Forrest: For those of us with hairy chests, this is a painful reality...
Lea: Help me! My brain hurts! The choppy sentences are killing me!
"There, there," Ranma said, "nobody is going to hurt you. I promise." The girls crying stopped.
Brad: How many girls were in the bag?
Forrest: Either put an apostrophe after "girl," or fix the word order.
Lea: Right, captain grammar.
"They kidnapped me from my family. These bandits came after a
show and they took me when I was asleep.
Brad: She's a performer?
Forrest: At least he's showing and not telling.
They were going to drown
me in that spring and they said they were going to make more of
me and sell them off as slaves and prostitutes," said Miyun.
Brad: So they know about the curses?
Lea: This is common knowledge, and there isn't already a spring of drowned girl?
Forrest: It had to happen at some point...
Ranma's anger was swelling inside of him.
Forrest: Ranma: Protector of women, and all around great guy.
"How can people do such
a cruel thing?" he asked.
Brad: That's not very IC.
Lea: Thinks so?
He suddenly remembered that he was cursed
into her image. They succeeded once. This made Ranma angrier.
Brad: So he didn't ever realize that a girl had drowned there?
Forrest: I guess not.
Lea: Wait, if that wasn't the spring of drowned girl, shouldn't it have been the spring of drowned
SOMETHING? Shouldn't he turn into, like, a dog or...
Forrest: Shhh....
"Listen," Ranma said, "your safe and we're going to take you home,
OK?"
Brad: That's a good safe.
Lea: I've got a talking one, but not one that takes me home...
The young girl nodded and hugged him tighter. Ranma and kept
her in his arms for a while, he knew that those bandits were probably
looking for him.
Brad: Argh! My head hurts!
Forrest: Have some Tylenol.
Lea: I'm not even going to bother with that sentence.
Unfortunately, the girl fell asleep in his arms.
Lea: Damn. I hate that.
He reached into his shirt and pulled out the mirror. It was shattered.
Lea: Told you so.
"I wish we could take Miyun to her family," Ranma said. The mirror did nothing.
Forrest: He was no longer the fairest in the land!
"Damn it, it's useless," Ranma said. He placed the mirror back
into his shirt.
Brad: Hold up. He just put a shattered mirror into his shirt? What?
Lea: Abs of steel, my friend, abs of steel.
He regretted not packing for this expedition.
It was summer time at Jusenko and the night was rather pleasant.
He leaned back and drifted off to sleep.
Forrest: Is it just me, or did that first sentence have nothing to do with the rest of the paragraph?
Lea: I always regret falling asleep during comfortable summer nights.
The sun rose as morning greeted him.
Forrest: <morning> Hiya!
Ranma woke up and looked
down.
Lea: He was in the right place at the wrong time.
Forrest: <singing> Get up on the downstroke!
The Miyun was still asleep,
Lea: The one and only!
but she was on her back.
Brad: Why did he choose "but," instead of "and?"
Forrest: The world may never know...
Her
kimono was loosed
Lea: <savage kimono> Rrr! I am free at last!
and Ranma could see a great deal of her chest.
Lea: With a chest like that, it IS a great deal!
Forrest: See, you can fill in for Keose just fine!
Lea: ...
Ranma has seen Miyun's naked form many times,
Brad: He was peeping during the night?
Forrest: No, he saw pictures of her in the history books. Naked ones.
but seeing it outside
his himself brought on new sensations within him.
Lea: Yeah, I guess it would be weird to my breasts on someone else's someone else.
Forrest: As opposed to your yourself.
Lea: My myself. Right.
Brad: [sighs]
The girls soon
started stirring.
Brad: More girls! Where are they hiding?
Lea: That Ranma has a way with women...
Miyun quickly realized her kimono was open and
wrapped herself up.
Forrest: [Homer] In a neat little PACKAGE!
Lea: She sure is a neat little package.
Brad: [surprised] Lea!
Lea: Just filling in for Keose.
Ranma looked up. Both their faces were blushing red.
Lea: Who'da thunk, eh?
Forrest: [Blushes blue] I can do it even better.
They both stood up. "There should be an amazon village nearby.
Brad: Should amazon be capitalized?
Forrest: I... uh... I don't know.
Lea: Yet another perfectly good riff ruined by incompetence.
I bet we could get some food and maybe some info on where your folks are at," Ranma said.
Forrest: Amazon.villiage is the place to go if you need info.
"Thank you for your kindness, you really are a great man," she said in quiet voice.
Lea: <Ranma> excuse me, I didn't hear you. You were speaking quietly.
Brad: She says that like she's heard of him.
Forrest: Ranma Saotome was known far and wide as a great man, even centuries before his birth!
"Don't think anything about it," he said.
Lea: <Miyun> Done and done. Now who are you?
They started walking through the hills. "Nothing's changed much," Ranma said.
Forrest: <Ranma> Not since... I mean, until... what was I talking about?
Brad: My head hurts again.
"You've been here before?" inquired the girl.
Brad: <Ranma> Well, sort of...
"Not for a very long time. My pop took me here to train once," he said.
Lea: "Not for a very long time." How appropriate.
Forrest: I'll just assume that was the writer being clever, and not incompetent.
Brad: Good call.
She looked at him with bright eyes, "You must be a great and valiant warrior."
Brad: Because only great and valiant warriors go to Amazon villiages. Right?
Lea: She's just falling right into love with him, isn't she?
Forrest: [sighs] Looks that way. Unfortunately, this is totally fitting with Ranma �, so we have to let it go
on...
Ranma turned to her, "I'm just a martial artist, nothing more."
Forrest: <Popeye>I am what I am, and that's all what I am.
Lea: What?
Brad: It's an Earth thing.
Ranma turned around scared. She was holding his arm as the continued walking.
Brad: What's he scared of? Is there a cat?
Lea: Ranma afraid of a girl? Never!
Forrest: It's because of his bad case of frottage.
Brad: What?
Forrest: Look it up.
They reached the Amazon village. Ranma stood back amazed at how
small it was.
Forrest: <Ranma> Look at these cool miniatures!
Lea: Maybe it'd look bigger if he'd stand closer.
"They must have just started the village," Ranma
thought. Ranma continued walking toward the village.
Lea: One more choppy sentence, and I'm leaving.
Forrest: I think I'm with you.
Lea: Better yet, I'll chop Rene for each choppy sentence...
Brad: Hey, I think it's over!
To be continued....
Forrest: Sho' nuff. Good call, Brad!
Brad: Thanks. We can go now, right?
Lea and Forrest: HELL YEAH!
Forrest, Lea, and Brad walked out of the swirling vortex, free at last of the bizarre creation of Rene
Chavez. Brad and Forrest were discussing grammar and plot while Lea rant o her battle hammer, heaving
it menacingly.
"Alright, let's go deliver some C&C!" she shouted.
Forrest sighed. "That's what we were doing. It's my own little way of amusing myself, and possibly
others."
"And it wasn't really THAT bad," Brad chimed in, "It just needed some retooling."
"You're no fun, Brad," Lea said, disappointed.
Lars, who was playing X-Men vs. Street Fighter on his trusty Saturn (And loving it!), finally noticed
the return of his wayward companions. "So what was it about?
Forrest fielded this one. "Well, basically Ranma's life has become even more unbearable somehow,
and so he uses the magic mirror to try and go back in time and prevent his curse."
"The one that you have to cry on, or the one that tells you who's the fairest in the land?"
"We already did that joke," Lea answered.
"Anyhow, he ends up foiling an attempted drowning of a redheaded girl into the spring, and cures
his curse," Forrest continued, "But the mirror wouldn't work, since he had broken it by putting it in his
shirt. So he takes the girl and finds the amazon village."
Lars thought for a moment. "Wouldn't he still have a curse, even if that particular girl didn't drown
there?"
"We already covered that, too," Lea answered.
Turning to the camera, Forrest called all the others to join him. Soon, he is amid the happy throng,
smiling and shouting, "That's it for today's episode of ADVENTURES IN BEING MEAN! (reverb) Join
us next time, when we riff someone else's fragile ego!"
[Author's note: This is my first MST, and is also my first draft. I have been intending to do this for a while,
and I finally found a bad fic which aroused my interest. If people think this is interesting, I'll do more of
these. Not on any particular schedule, mind you, but whenever I find a fic which I think deserves it.
Hopefully Keose will come up in the dice when I do some lemons! ^_~ (Isn't that cute?)]
[Thanks to Megane6.7 for giving me the idea to do something like this. If you go to www.tass.org/fanfic
you can find his stuff under MST3K. Also, I'd like to thank Rene Chavez for writing this fic. I didn't mean
any offense. I just saw an opportunity. Believe me, it's nowhere near as bad as, say, Mike Rhea (Ha ha, I
insulted Mike Rhea! I'm in the club now!)]
[If you want to say anything to me, just sent e-mail to Big_Joe@N2.com, and be certain to visit my site at
http://DUNOTS.tripod.com! If you don't I'll start writing bad fanfics and posting them constantly!
HAHAHAHAHAHA! urp.]
PACK!!!