Greetings.
First off, I would like to say that I enjoyed this teaser immensely. The
writing style is excellent. Also, it is nice to see Akane get the staring
role in a darkfic for once.
However, I must also agree with some current C&C that I've seen in that it
seems just like a remake of another Ranma/The Crow fusion with Akane in
Ranma's place.
The premise is EXCELLENT and the writing style is awesome. I think you just
might want to re-think the whole crow fusion.
If you wish to use the return from the dead idea - which is always an
interesting premise IMO - there are many other things that you might be able
to use. The Crow is a good one, but as has been said it's been done. One
person suggested a vengeful Kami, which is also a good idea. Another one,
although it will be going out on a limb is to have Akane raised from the
dead by another character. Ryouga might be a likely candidate for doing
that, or even one of her sisters. Another possiblity is making Akane a
Kuei-Jin or Eastern Vampire.
These particular form of Vampire are found in the White Wolf game "Kindred
of the East." Much like the ressurection idea, this one may be going out on
a limb, but it is something you might consider.
I can't help much on the others, but if you want any ideas on using the
Kuei-Jin idea, feel free to write me. I'll help you out anyway I can.
Sincerely,
James "Phoenix" Jones
P.S. If there is a pre-reader list for this, I'd love to be on it.
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