<snip fic>
Well, hell! What rock have -I- been hiding under that made
me miss -this-?
(goes back and reads the rest of the series - mostly)
Very good work, here. One thing that bugs me a bit, though
was this: in one of the previous chapters, Lisa
officially -joined- the Knight Sabers, yes? If that's the case,
why is she so... well, secretive, I guess... about sharing
information with them? I got the idea that that was, partially,
her job.
If I were Sylia, I'd be pretty po'ed. I mean, she extended
some MAJOR trust, and this is how she's repaid?
Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but from my POV, Lisa's behavior
is way unacceptable. If she's a Knight Saber, her first priority
should be the team, just like everyone else. Right now, though,
her first priority seems to be herself/her career, then Doug, and
THEN the Knight Sabers. IMO, she's behaving a little like a
spoiled brat. :) She wants her toys FIRST, and THEN she'll think
about sharing. Her only redeeming factors to me are that she has
been capable of keeping the Knight Sabers secrets - hard for a
journalist! - and that I like her character, although I still
don't agree with her behavior. :)
I guess my question would be this: am I reading it wrong? If
so, then I'd suggest a little touch-up work... I'm willing to go
into more depth in private mail, if you'd like. If I'm not
reading it wrong, then, man, you are cruel! :) Personally, I'd
never have thought of using Lisa as yet another conflict source.
Either way, it's still great work. I'm really looking
forward to more of this!
Brian Payne
sofaspud@sofaspud.org
http://www.sofaspud.org