Subject: [FFML] [LEMON][GunCats][C&C]Fire in the Veins part 1
From: LN411@aol.com
Date: 2/25/2000, 2:44 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Hmmm...sorry I didn't respond to this earlier...busy life, y'know?

Well. I'm not a huge fan of lemons as a rule, but this was rather good, ATC. 
Excellent dialogue all the way across. I did think the nipple-twisting piece 
was a bit far-fetched tho'. If you're trying to stick to canon-esque 
behavior, Rally would never have responded in kind, IMHO. The screaming was 
nicely in character...^_^ The only other point of contention was, the 
aftermath of Rally's admission about the rape is seriously underplayed. May 
is shocked, and the next morning..nothing. Off to the shower to beat off 
without a second thought for her friend? And Rally doesn't seem too worked up 
about it after the fact either. I would think she'd be a bit more agitated 
after telling someone such a personal secret.
     I think I have a fair idea where you are going with this story...I like 
it. Good job, and write more! Do it! Do it now! Captain Exposition sez! ^_~
     Oh yeah...and Rally is a SNL fan? Hilarious!!!!!!!

Captain Exposition
and his ancient SIG....
l>-------Double Vision and Dinner & Desire--------<l
 "For when you absolutely, positively have to waste every mutha-fu**a in the 
room..."

    Samuel L. Jackson, Jackie Brown


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