Hey, there. Well, I've started another series, and hopefully I'll either
stick with this one long enough to make it work, or I'll get it right the
first time (Breaks down into laughter) I KNEW I wouldn't be able to say that
with a straight face!
Anyways, I NEED (Emphasis on the NE and the ED) C&C. It's like my life's
blood. Literally. Totally seriously. I'll die if I don't get it. You
don't get it, do you? It's like blood to a vampire! Water to a human!
Pornography to President Clinton! I NEED IT!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Ahem)
Anyways, please, please, PLEASE give me c&c. Flames are welcome.
Seriously. I'm desperate for any and all opinions of my work. Seriously.
If you don't send any, I'll cry. You don't want to make me cry, do you?
(Smacks himself upside the head)
Sorry about that. Anyways, the standard disclaimers apply, and Rumiko
Takahashi is as close to God as a human can get. You know the drill.
Read and enjoy (or despise. It really doesn't matter to me as long as you
give me C&C) and then give me C&C if you want. Thanx for putting up with my
annoying self. I know it's hard, but you only have a little more to go.
************
I'm putting the first and second chapters out together, because the first
chapter doesn't really get into the plot all that much. Actually, neither
does the second, but it does so more than the first, and you can get at
least a little taste of how the fic will go. At least for the beginning.
Later on...well, I'll deal with that when the time comes.
************
This is an alternate universe fic. It deals with what would have happened
if Soun Tendo had taken his son, Ranma, on an extended training trip after
Ranma’s mother died when he was six. Also, Genma Saotome wanted to take his
youngest daughter on a similar training trip when she was six, but Nodoka
Saotome, mother to Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane Saotome, and wife to Genma
Saotome, wouldn’t let him. She kept Genma from leaving until Nodoka died.
The day he was to leave, however…
What the Fuck?: Chapter 1
‘What the Fuck?’
“In China. Bringing Ranma. Tendo” Genma read the card aloud.
“Who’s that from, dad?” inquired Akane, who was just now getting
over her mother’s death.
“It’s from my old friend, Soun Tendo. He’s coming from China with
Ranma.”
Akane looked at her travel pack, at her father’s. “We’re not going
to be her. How are they going to get into the house?"
Genma tucked the letter into his pack and swung it up onto his
shoulder. “Kasumi and Nabiki will be here. They’ll let them in and keep
them company until we get back.”
That last got Akane’s attention. “Speaking of which, how long will
we be gone?”
Genma and walked out the door. “Not *too* long…”
The door opened to reveal two soaking-wet men.
Kasumi smiled sweetly and asked, “May I help you?”
The older man said, “Is this the Saotome residence?’
“Why, yes, it is. You wouldn’t happen to be Soun and Ranma Tendo,
would you?”
The younger man looked up at Kasumi, a slight blush on his cheeks.
“Sorry about this.”
Nabiki and Kasumi sat across the table from Ranma and Soun, talking.
“So, why exactly did you choose o visit now?” Nabiki asked sharply.
Kasumi looked to her younger sister, concern on her face. Nabiki
hadn’t been the same since mother died…
“Well, Ranma and I had been on the road for ten years, and Ranma had
come of age to marry, so I thought I’d bring him here to marry and run our
dojo.”
“Ten years? That’s a long time! Why did you leave for so long?”
“After his mother died, he didn’t have any reason to stay. He was
destined to inherit the dojo, and he could still attend school while on the
read, so I decided to take him on an extended training trip to hone his
martial arts skills.’
“Oh, my. When did you wife die, Mister Tendo?”
“Ten years ago,” replied Soun.
Nabiki glared at him, while Kasumi looked confused and Ranma shook
his head.
“…Um, dad? I think she meant how old was I when she died. She
already knows that she died ten years ago.”
Soun looked at Ranma, then back at Kasumi. “Oh! Forgive me. I
misunderstood. Ranma was six.”
“So that means you’re sixteen, Ranma?” was Nabiki’s first comment to
either of the Tendos.
“Well, I’ll be seventeen in three months.”
Kasumi smiled and said “How nice! You’re about Nabiki’s age! Maybe
you two could become friends!”
Nabiki commented dryly “He’s closer to Akane’s age, Kasumi.
Besides, Mr. Tendo already said he came back to get married, which implies
that he’s engaged.”
Ranma blushed. “Er…yeah, I’m engaged to-“
“You mean you don’t know?!?” Soun stammered.
“Know what, Mr. Tendo?” Kasumi asked sweetly.
Nabiki chimed in. “Yes, know what?”
Soun sweat dropped.
“Aaskyourfatherwhenhegetshomeohlookatthetimeletsgoranma” and Soun grabbed
Ranma and sprinted out the door.
“…”
“…”
“Oh, my. I hope everything’s alright.”
Nabiki got up and closed the door. “If what I think is right, then
daddy’s going to have some explaining to do.”
“Welcome to Jusenkyo, sir and madam. This the place of-“
“Let’s go, Akane.” Genma interrupted the guide and jumped onto a
bamboo pole sticking out of a pool of water.
“Dad!” Akane said as she leaped to a similar pole to face her
father. “What if he had something important to say?”
“You’re a martial artist, Akane. Are you afraid of a little water?”
Akane’s visage hardened and she assumed a ready stance. “I ‘aint
afraid of nuthin’. Let’s go.”
Genma smiled to himself as he readied himself to spar with Akane.
He had hit a button. Akane never spoke with bad grammar unless she was
challenged.
“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!”
*SPLASH*
“Oh no! You fall in spring of…”
“Ranma!” Nabiki exclaimed, startled. “What are you doing here?”
Ranma scratched his head and said, “Pop wanted me to go to school,
so he enrolled me here at Furinkan.”
Nabiki just blinked. “Okay.”
What the Fuck?: Chapter 2
‘What’s going on?’
“So, Nabiki?” Ranma asked. “Where are all of these classes?” He
handed her his schedule.
“Japanese history…algebra 2…English 1? Ranma, most of these classes
are for sophomores, and the rest are for freshmen, except for English 1,
which is for seventh graders.” Nabiki looked to Ranma, awaiting an
explanation.
“…”
With none forthcoming, when took the initiative. “Aren’t you
supposed to be a junior? You’re going to be seventeen soon, right?”
Ranma scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously.
“Well…you see…the thing is…I’m stupid. NO! I’m not stupid, it’s just that
I’ve always concentrated so hard on my martial arts abilities that I’ve
never really had time for school.”
“English one?” Nabiki was shocked. “For you not to have enough
time for ENGLISH ONE, you must’ve gotten really, REALLY good with all that
time you put into it.”
Ranma just shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. Not many people can beat me.
I actually haven’t lost for close to three years, now.”
Now Nabiki was REALLY surprised. “Three years? Wow! Kuno might
finally meet his match!”
“Kuno?” asked Ranma.
“He’s right-“
“*WHITHER MY PIG-TAILED GODDESS?!?*” roared a loud voice, startling
Nabiki into Ranma’s arms.
Ranma just stood there, in shock, as Nabiki buried her face in his
muscled chest.
<So warm…I could stay here for…wait…where am I…Ranma asked who Kuno
was…I was going to point him out when a loud voice startled me into…> Nabiki
jumped back, blushing fiercely. “Um…sorry it was an accident…I just got
startled. You know how jumpy women are about loud noises. Heh heh heh…”
Ranma just blushed and said, “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry about it.”
Despite is words, he couldn’t hide the fact that he was flustered from the
encounter.
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“*NABIKI TENDO!!!*” a voice roared from right behind her, putting
Nabiki once again in Ranma’s arms. “Run not from me, Nabiki Tendo! I
require the whereabouts of the pig-tailed one!”
Nabiki flew back from Ranma, blushing an even deeper shade of red,
right into the man, sending them both to the ground.
Ranma stepped forward to help them up when the man jumped up, pulled
a wooden sword from nowhere, and slashed at Ranma.
Ranma deftly avoided the blow by flipping over the man. “Woah!
What’s your problem, buddy?”
The man spun and slashed, Ranma again nimbly sidestepping the blow.
“Silence wretch! That thou wouldst treat a woman so harshly reveals your
vile nature! Enemy of women!” He slashed at Ranma again, Ranma just
catching the blade in his hand this time.
“Listen, guy. I don’t know what our problem is, but I’m not an
enemy to women, and I’m not your enemy.”
The may just stared at his now-stilled sword, mouth agape. “You
stopped my attack with your bare hand!” He looked up at Ranma, saying,
“Sorcerer! Only by magically enhancing your body could you do such a
thing!” He leaped back, wrenching the wooden instrument from Ranma’s grasp.
“Knave! It is customary to give one’s name before a battle. Mine I shall
give. I am Tatewaki Kuno, junior, group E. The rising star of the high
school kendo league, I am know as…” thunder crashed as lightning played
across the suddenly-cloudy sky “…the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!!!”
Murmurs swept through the crowd (That usually watched Akane thwomp
Kuno, but found this new challenger just as interesting). “Blue Thunder?
When did he start calling himself that?”
“Isn’t he the Shooting Star?”
“How does he make thunder crash like that?”
Further comments were forestalled by Kuno pointing his sword at
Ranma, saying “For the crime of treating Nabiki Tendo rudely shall you be
punished!”
Ranma blinked. “Hey, Nabiki. Did I treat you rudely?”
Nabiki shrugged as she stood next to Ranma. “Nope. I’ll bet he
thinks that you pushed me into him, while I actually jumped into him.”
Kuno was upon them. “Away from her, swine!”
Ranma moved staggeringly fast, and Kuno was unconscious, not a mark
on him.
Nabiki looked at Kuno, at Ranma. She took his hand and led him
towards the school. “Come on. We have to get to class.”
“Aiya! Husband, wait!!!”
A purple-haired amazon was chasing a man and a Nissan Pathfinder
down a road in China. The Pathfinder didn’t have a driver, which was
strange enough without noting the fact that it was wearing glasses on it’s
windshield and had bits of food stuck in it’s front grate.
Then it honked, and it’s passenger-side front door opened.
“Thanks!” cried the man as he dove in the car.
Speeding up, the Nissan Pathfinder sped away, over a river and
through some woods.
The purple-haired woman stopped and said, “Aiya! To Grandmother’s
house they go!”
The author suffered grievous bodily harm from readers repulsed by
that lame-ass half-joke.
Ranma avoided strike after strike, each miss wearing Soun out more
and more. Finally, breathing heavily, Soun signaled the end of the sparring
match. “Ranma,” Soun gasped, “you’ve been my better in the art for almost
four years now. Don’t you think you should let me win every once in a
while, just for a change of pace?”
Ranma just smiled and said, “No, dad, I don’t. If I’m going to
lose, it’s going to be to someone who is my better. I don’t throw fights.”
Soun walked over to Ranma and placed a sweaty hand on his shoulder.
“Change of topic, Ranma. About your engagement to one of the Saotome
daughters: what do you think about the fact that they don’t know?”
“Well, it’s weird that Mr. Saotome wouldn’t tell them that they’re
engaged to someone they’ve never met.”
“That’s what I’m thinking. Well, all we can do is wait until Genma
gets back, right?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Soun was about to turn when he remembered something that had been at
the back of his mind for a while. “What do you think about Kasumi and
Nabiki, Ranma?”
Ranma turned away to hide his blush, saying, “Nabiki is….cute.” and
walked towards the door of the dojo.
Soun smiled at this son’s back. “It’s good that you like Nabiki,
Ranma. I’d hate to make you marry someone you didn’t love.”
Ranma turned at his father’s words. “…Thanks, dad. By the way,
isn’t there another Saotome daughter?”
Soun thought. “…Yes, I believe there is. Akane is her name.”
Across the ocean, in China, a man sitting in a Nissan Pathfinder
sneezed.