Adrian Forest wrote:
Fuyutsuki knew Gendou had kept secrets from him, he kept secrets from
everyone, but this was something altogether different. "Ikari, I have to
say I don't think I like the way this is affecting you. Why don't you
calm
down and tell me-"
Hmmm. That's a little too empathic for my liking. Fuyutsuki and Gendo are
usually a little more terse.
It's to help show just how emotional Gendou is over this. If it wasn't for
the fact he's confident he's going to be getting Yui back within a couple
of hours, both of them would have been much more reserved.
The rest was cut off as, without preamble, the door to the office opened.
Within the doorway stood a figure, black cloak wrapped around the front
and
obscuring the body of the individual within.
*whoop! whoop! whoop!* Melodrama alert!
Heh. It is overly melodramatic, isn't it?
"Shinji," He paused for a moment, then laid his hand on the smaller boy's
shoulder. "Son, I want you to come forward with me. I want you at my
side."
Er..When did Gendo start calling him Son??
Again, this was to convey how emotional Gendou is over this.
Unit-01 was a living object? It was just a very advanced robot, wasn't
it?
Oy, the boy'll never learn /_\.
Nope.
a label
with different writing on them, but they were in a language Shinji
couldn't
understand.
Some description of the characters might be good.
Hmm, it's supposed to be Chinese. Not sure what the name of their writing
style is.
eye. "God willing, your retirement as pilot." Before Shinji could
Again, a little OOC.
True, but given the nature of what Gendou thinks is about to happen, I
didn't think it was too unreasonable.
As Gendou fell to the ground with the unconscious woman in his arms,
crying
and refusing to let go,
To my mind, a simple smile and meaningful look would be more his style...
You could be right. Will consider changing that.
little bit of water from Chiisuiton, and all to turn what was obviously a
very expensive robot into a girl. It would have been much more practical
(and cheaper) to use a simple animal. Truly the Japanese were an
exceptionally stupid people.
Surely Gendo would have been smart enough to ask first, wouldn't he?
Ask what?
Thanks for the comments.
D.B. Sommer
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