When Timing Sucks
A Ranma 1/2 story by Kevin McHorney
Disclaimer: Hey, I'm not making any money off this, so why bother suing anyway.
*****
"Let me get this straight," Ranma said as he stared at the woman
who came out of his teacup, "I get any wish I want? No strings,
or," Ranma shuddered, "fiancees?"
Skuld sighed, "yes, any wish that you can think of." Skuld
hated the dense ones.
Akane looked at her fiance, "Do you know what you're going to
wish for Ranma?"
"Of course I know what I wanna wish for, a cure for my curse."
Ranma turned to Skuld, "I want."
Akane stopped him by putting a hand on his arm, "What about
all the other cursed people we know, you can help them out too."
Ranma sat and thought for a second, then with a smile turned
to Skuld and said, "All right, I want everyone who has a Jusenkyou
curse to be cured."
The mark on Skuld's forehead glowed bright blue and shot a beam
of energy into the sky. Then she looked at Ranma, smiled and said,
"Your wish has been granted, now I'm out of here." She dove back
into his teacup. Ranma and Akane sat in shock until Akane got up,
grabbed a glass of cold water and splashed it on Ranma. Nothing
happened. Ranma jumped up and started dancing around the room, while
Akane watched, a smile on her lips.
Cat Café:
"Stupid Mousse leave Shampoo alone," Shampoo said and splashed
Mousse with a glass of water. Mousse sighed, then realized that
something was different. Looking down he saw he was still human.
Shampoo picked up another glass and splashed it on him with the same
results. "What Mousse do?"
"I didn't do anything," Mousse said. He picked up a glass of
water and splashed Shampoo. Again, nothing happened, "I think we may
have been cured." Shampoo clapped her hands together in joy, then
grabbed Mousse and started jumping up and down with him. After a
second she realized what she was doing and broke a table over his
head. "Shampoo go find Ranma," she said and ran out of the
restaurant.
Gold's Gym, Tokyo branch:
Ryoga the piglet bumped into another wall. Damn, Ryoga thought
to himself as he tried to wander through the women's changing room
with his eyes closed, why do I always end up in these situations.
Being a pig was the only thing saving him from severe pain. Being
in a room full of semi-clad women was bad, being in a room of
semi-clad bodybuilders was sure to cause a very bad day for one
bandanna clad boy. Fortunately a pig is far less likely to be
pummeled. Then he heard the voices, "Oh, look at the little piggy,
it keeps running into walls." Other times being a pig can suck.
Ryoga felt a pair of hands pick him up and cradle him next to
something soft. At least this can't get any worse, he thought.
Then he felt the change. The last thing he thought before being
pummeled into oblivion was, Somehow, Ranma's responsible for this.
Recently re-built Saotome household:
"Genma, that's this I hear about cat-fist training?" Nodoka
called down the hallway. Genma heard the sound of a blade coming
free of it's sheath and dove for a nearby glass of water. He
splashed himself and sighed in relief, no one would hurt a panda.
Then he realized that something was amiss. He splashed himself
again, with the same effect, just as Nodoka entered the room. She
pointed her blade at his trembling form and said, "It's time we had
a little talk, husband."
Somewhere over the Sea of Japan:
Taro the flying yeti-bull was bored, there's just nothing to do
on these long flights over water. No change of scenery, no sight
of land and a lack of flight instruments Taro had nothing to do but
fly away from the sun and try and spot dolphins.
Lacking anything else to do he occupied himself with thoughts
of how he would fly to Nerima and finally beat Happosai into change
his name Then, just for kicks, he'd show femboy just who was the
toughest. Without any warning Taro felt himself change back into a
human. With a curse he pulled out a water bottle and splashed
himself, but with no effect. His last words were, "Oh shi.." as he
fell into the water.
Tendo Dojo:
Ranma sat in the pond, relaxing. He looked over at Akane and
started chuckling. Akane glared at him, "what's so funny?"
Ranma smiled, "Just wonderin, who's gonna hate this cure the
most, Kuno or the lech?"
The End.
ENS Kevin McHorney, USNR
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http://home.att.net/~k.mchorney/
"I can't let her win, she's got bad hair."
-Shinesman Salmon Pink