Somewhere deep in the heart of Plymouth, Minnisnowta, a young dragon
returns home from the graveyard shift only to find that something awaits...
Completely unsuspecting of the terror that lurks in the dark recesses of his
e-mail account, he turns on his computer, and loads up his e-mail proggy...
and finds...
From: Leaf Chan <leaf_chan@excite.com>
To: ffml@fanfic.com <ffml@fanfic.com>
Date: Tuesday, February 22, 2000 1:32 AM
Subject: [FFML] [Proposal] All Quiet on the Western Front
That's when he realizes that he's in.... THE LEAF ZONE.
Struggle as he might, the young dragon knows that the only escape is to
read through it, and try to remain sane as best he can in the only way he
can... By making smart-ass, wise-cracking quips. And so, taking a firm
grip of his sanity, he begins to read....
Ranma SUCKS, Tenchi Muyo SUCKS, anime is a piece of shit used by rabid
fanboy idiots
Hey, that's a little harsh! I may be rabid, and I may be an idiot, but
I'm hardly a fanboy. Just a little on the otaku side.
such as yourselves as a basis for stroking off through the
keyboard.
That from somebody who wrote one of the most sickening, disgusting,
horrific, pathetic, mind-numbingly... Evil pedofilistic self-insert rape
fic in history?? Whoa, time for a short reality check.
All of you, as authors, are incompetent morons who acheive nothing
through your writing and see it as a process by which to flaunt your ego.
Personally, I use it for practice and to avoid falling asleep while on
the grave shift.
Do
you know nothing?
Nope, never met him.
Do you SEE nothing?
Only when I'm wearing my glasses.
Why do you write?
Well, at the moment because I have a touch of larengitis - makes it
kinda tough to speak.
It is a delicate
process, and you are not only butchering it,
What can I say? I'm hungry, and there weren't any handy cows or maidens
in distress.
what with your horrible grammar
and spelling and prose,
Eye dun't now whut ur saiding abot.
but devalutating it through incoherent, unoriginal,
and absolutely POINTLESS tales of aquatranssexuals making it with a guy
wooed by seven million women living in other galaxies!
Except when we're telling tales about a guy making it with
aquatranssecuals wooed by seven million men living in other galaxies.
What is the point!
What IS the point? -Shrugs.- Don't ask me, I prefer blunt instruments.
Oh wait, there's 104.1, The Point, a radio station out here, is that what
you mean?
You are all fetid pieces of dung, floating towards the shores of hell--no,
that's Lurker's quote.
Damn that cruise director, he told me that we were floating toward the
shores of Hades.
You are all sick, SICK--wait, that's K'thardin.
-Sneezes.- I'm not sick, just prone to pyschotic episodes.
Needless to say, you all need to go out and get a FUCKING LIFE instead of
wasting your time here
I have a life, it's just that it has been placed on hold for an extended
period of time. And anyway, what am I supposed to do with time except waste
it? Put it to good use? Clean my room? Get a real job? I think not!
amongst scrubby know-it-all smart-asses
Example: Leaf Chan. Need I say more?
who think that fanfiction is the most wonderful thing in the world.
No no no... My girlfriend isthe most wonderful thing in the world.
Fanfictions come in at a very distant second.
FUCK YOU ALL, YOU
SHIT-EATING SONS OF BITCHES!
HEY NOW! Those are fighting words! HOW DARE YOU CALL MY MOTHER A
BITCH! You just better be glad I'm not letting her see this, she'd make you
wish the whore that gave birth to you had never looked at the slug that was
your father.
Boy, isn't this imaginitive? Maybe he's trying to bore us all to death
with blank space.
-Yawn.- I've seen voids with more in them than this.
(good, now with that all done, can you FINALLY get me the hell off this
list, you incompetent sysops? Ban me, it'd certainly be faster.)
Nope, your punishment is that you get a double dose of everything sent
up her fed directly into your non-existant brain.
_______________________________________________________
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As the young dragon blinks at the Excite ad that marks the bottom,
and thus, the end of THE LEAF ZONE, he realizes that he has somehow survived
with as much of his sanity intact as one might expect - granted he didn't
have much in the first place, but still, some is better than none. And he
says, in the words of the great and powerful fic destroyer... "Megatron, if
you'll do the honors, please!"
(No, folks, MSTing is not my cup of tea, but I just couldn't help it on
this one. Feel free to toss in quips, comments, insults, death threats,
etc, etc as you please. -Grin- And let us hope that we do indeed bid a
not-so-fond fair terrible to the clearly depraved Leaf Chan, who aparently
is too lazy to either set up a mail filter or unsub himself. Until next
time, good night. Or day, as it may be.)
-----
The Platinum Dragon
"The world is headed for mutiny, when all we want is unity; we may rise and
fall, but in the end, we meet our fate together!" Creed, 'One'
Proud Member of the Ryoko Forever Fan Club