Hard to comment because you don't have an actual plot yet. I like the
idea of Hikaru as a K-9 corps cop; makes good sense. But you need a plot
beyond 'the Rayearth girls join SV2', which you don't currently have.
Also, does this assume the events of MKR happened or didn't happen?
John Biles
Emperor of all He Surveys
http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
"Would it not be better to be dead than to
have this horrible fear that Aslan has come
and is not like the Aslan we have believed in
and longed for? It is as if the sun rose one
day and it was a black sun."
"I know" said Jewel, "or as if you drank water
and it were DRY water. You are right, sire,
this is the end of all things. >
--The Last Battle, by C. S. Lewis