In a message dated 02.21.00 4:31:08 PM, kionon@hotmail.com writes:
Never Enough
by
Kevin "Kionon" Callahan
Nicely written. While I find it somewhat hard to believe it, considering
Ami's young age, but it's still feasible. Increased demands of schooling,
crime-fighting spree as Mercury, lack of socialization skills, and
especially peer pressure could easily drive her crazy unless she finds
some sort of depressessant. Also, I think Ami's parents' reaction were
too extreme. I doubt that they would abuse her like that. More likely, they
would be extremely disappointed by her. In Japan, disappointing your elders
is one of the worst things a child can do. Ami would be feeling EXTREMELY
ashamed and guilty after being caught.
If this fic were written using NA version, with Ami being Amy Anderson,
then this story would be lot more believable, IMO. Since I'm not aware of
statsics of underage drinking in Japan, I can't really comment on the
validity of this fic.
And one final comment is that despite being well-written, it is merely
a scene, not a story. You've already presented a plot, a situation. But it's
missing a conclusion. I refuse to accept the ending you've given on basis
that it isn't the end, but rather, a means to the end for her case. It's
same as being given an assembly piece and instruction book. You have
everything you need, but the work isn't done yet. In Ami's case, being
there at the meeting doesn't necessarily mean she WILL particpate, or
attempt to cure her problem. The real story, IMO, begins with Ami in that
group as she struggles to curb her drinking habits.
This kind of problem occurs all the time in America, and Ami's case doen't
make it any more tragic than others.
DA/R
Dark Alpha
AlphSailor@aol.com