Subject: [FFML] Re: [C&C] [OMG]Prologue -More Human Than Human
From: slayernext@juno.com
Date: 2/21/2000, 8:19 AM
To: jjc@jchu.simplenet.com
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

On Mon, 21 Feb 2000 12:53:24 +0100 James Chu <jjc@jchu.simplenet.com>
writes:
More Human Than Human

(Dunno if the titl's been used yet.  C&C is requested.)

Ask and ye shall receive.

Prologue

by JJC

---
Oh!  My Goddess! is property of Kosuke Fujishima.  This work is a 
piece
of fiction intended for personal use.  No commercial use of this 
piece
is intended or allowed.
---

	Belldandy hummed a nice little song to herself as she folded 
freshly
washed linen.  It was mind numbingly boring work, something that 
most
mortals -- and quite a few deities -- would have found distasteful.  
It
didn't bother her too much, though.  

Indent

	Keiichi had attempted to do the laundry a few times -- he 
had wanted to
do his fair share of work.  Unfortunately, his attempts at washing
clothing had turned all his underwear pink.  Urd also tried to help 
a
couple times, but she only ended up creating an extremely messy
situation -- all the clothes in a six kilometer radius of the temple
attempted to fold themselves regardless of whether they were being 
worn
by people at the time.  Skuld made an automatic washing machine that
worked just fine, except for a few little details -- it tended to 
blow
out the entire city power grid from time to time. 

*There!  All done.*

No indent.

	In retrospect, it wasn't that much work after all.  If it 
was a really
heavy load, there was always the option of just magically cleaning 
the
clothes.  

Indent.

Belldandy smiled to herself ruefully.  

*Just because you can do it, it doesn't mean that you _should_ do it 
all
the time, 'neechan.*

No indent.
"Enough of that!"  <Whap!>  @_@

She had told Urd that time and time again.  Urd never listened to 
her on
that point.  Come to think about it, lots of people never took her
seriously.  She carefully maintained a facade of unearthly serenity 
in
an attempt to balance Keiichi's near constant exposure to the arcane 
and
esoteric that life with goddesses brought about.  She new the heavy

She new.  Me old.   new--->knew

price that many a mortal had to pay for living with gods.  

Sometimes Belldandy wanted to scream out at the world in 
frustration. 
Oh, Kami-sama!  There was only so much that one could take!  

*Keiichi was out at work -- probably doing some ridiculously hard 
job
that gave little pay.  Something that he "got" from the motor club
grapevine.  Oh, Keiichi.  This was the man that utterly defined 
humble. 
She loved him.  He was too trusting, too kind, too... too...  
timid... 
Wait a second.*

Belldandy blinked for a second.  

*Maybe that's why our relationship hasn't gone anywhere!  Someone 
has to
take the aggressive stance.  She had to talk to someone about her
situation.*

---

	She hesitated before knocking on Skuld's door.  When she 
heard no
definite answer she decided to open up the door carefully.

Belldandy peered around the door frame, "Ano... Skuld-chan...  What 
are
you up to?"

The young goddess sat in front of her desk, bashing her head into 
the
keyboard.  A mess of cardboard and cellophane sat upon Skuld's 
rumpled
futon in the carton -- "Windows 2000:Server Edition".  

A "gift" from Mara no doubt.  ^_^

"Skuld-chan," scolded Belldandy firmly, but gently, "What did I say
about installing software?"

"Arrrrrgh!  I know!  I know!  Don't install completely new packages 
on
production systems.  Do it on a test system!," wailed Skuld,
"'Nee-chan!  I'm sorry!  I couldn't resist!" 

Belldandy wrapped her left hand around the door's edge and pivoted
herself into Skuld's room.  She put her right hand into the mess of
cables, breadboards and other electronic detritus.  She drew her 
hand
back with a small black rectangular object held between the tips of 
the
index and the thumb.  Her eyes crinkled up at the corners and her 
lips
stretched wide as she threw a mischievous grin at Skuld.  

Skuld looked up slowly, tears making smearing her rounded face.  
Skuld
blinked away the remaining tears and stared at the object in her
sister's hands, a surprised expression spreading across her face.

"You made a backup??!!!  Oh, Onee-sama!  You're the best!," cried 
out
Skuld.  

Skuld hopped off her chair and smothered Belldandy in a massive hug. 


"It's all right, Skuld.  I made this backup disk image last night 
when
you were out at the software store.  It wasn't too hard to guess 
what
you were going to do."

Skuld looked up at Belldandy.  It wasn't fair!  She knew this was 
gonna
happen??!!  She quickly mentally revised her view of her older 
sister. 
Belldandy was sugar and spice, but with a hint of Tabasco hiding 
behind
those gentle eyes.

No star around thoughts.
"I said enough of that!"  <Whap!>  @_@

"Skuld.  I wanted to talk to you about something," Belldandy 
breathed
softly into Skuld's ear as she patted Skuld's back.  

Skuld suddenly loosened her grip on Belldandy and scooted back a few
steps.  

"You know about Urd's bike?  Oh man!  I'm sorry!  I didn't mean to 
take
the brake assembly off!," panicked Skuld, "Well, not all the way..."

Belldandy laughed.  Her peals of laughter echoed off the paper and 
wood
walls of the room.  

I can't imagine Belldandy actually laughing peals of laugher or how they
would echo off of paper walls.

"Oh, Skuld!  It doesn't have to do with that.  I have some personal
things to discuss, and I think you should have some input.  Besides, 
Urd
needs to learn some humility sometime..."

"Okay 'nee-chan.  Whatcha want to talk about then?"

Skuld sat down on her futon, tossing the trash over to a large trash 
can
in the other corner of the room.  She patted the futon with her 
right
hand, motioning Belldandy to sit down with her other hand.  

Belldandy came into the room and sank onto the futon.  Skuld wrapped 
her
arms around Belldandy's left arm and rested her head on Belldandy's
shoulder.

"Well, it's about me and Keiichi..."

---

to be continued...

Seems like an interesting concept, but this feels more like a first
chapter than a prologue.  I suggest trimming back on the tangents (Win2K,
folding accident, etc, ...) and concentrating more on Belldandy's
discontent about how her relationship with Keiichi is, or rather is not,
developing.  It does seem to be the crux of your story.

SlayerNext@juno.com
When I have a little money, I buy some anime.  If I have any left over, I
buy food and clothes.

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