In a message dated 00-02-20 01:04:16 EST, you write:
<< This is an idea I had a few months ago while working on a different
project entirely. This has some limeish bits, I suppose, and is a bit darker
than my normal tone.
They say to right what you know, so I'll admit I don't know much about
sex, being inexperienced and all; which is why I was reluctant to post this
to the FFML.
=Eh, don't wory too much about it; so long as you know the basic workings of
sex, you'll be fine; just don't go too much into graphic detail.
But, a good author will strecth his neck onto the chopping
block on occasion.
=More like all the time...^_^
I like this idea, but I need to know what others think. Call me indecisive,
I am.
=Indecisive, I'm Uncertain, your cousin. ^_^
Here it is, be brutal.
[Readies aluminum bat] All set...
-----------
A Ludicrous Configuration! Production By JJ Corley.
Ranma 1/2: For Honor and Love
Sometimes, things happen. Sometimes, things don't.
And Sometimes, things don't happen as they should.
=Kind of setting the feel of the whole story with these two lines.
-**- -**-
It was a non-typical day for Nerima district, Tokyo. Sunny, with a few
clouds hanging lazily in the sky and no chance for rain the entire week.
Most of the inhabitants of the ward knew something was wrong with the local
kami, and the devout began praying for all to be well.
Inside a Dojo, a young woman concluded her prayers, her gaze falling onto
her mother's and father's shrine. 'Father..' she thought, brushing the tears
that began to form from her eyes. 'Why did you leave me? Why did you leave
your legacy as it is? I have accepted that I would be the one to join the
schools for seventeen years; and yet HE hasn't come. Will he ever? I find my
heart set on the one to fulfill your oath, though I haven't met him, or even
know his full name.. Shall I be forced into spinsterhood? Could I ever love
anyone as I love this man who plagues my dreams, the one who wakes me at
night from words of passion that burn hotter than the sun? This man with the
name Saotome? Father.. help me find the strength to endure the waiting...'
[blink blink] Akane? Egads, did she ever change!
She bowed deeply to the shrine, straighting her yellow Gi as she stood
and
left the Dojo for the house. It was lonely now that her older sisters were
gone; there being no respite from the quiet solitude, save for the few
classes she taught, that was the Tendou home.
-**- -**-
A young man peered at the wooden sign from the sidewalk. He regarded the
building before him with curiosity. Why had his father told him to come
HERE, of all places? Why was he to seek out this particular Dojo?
"If you wern't dead, I'd ask you, pops.." He whispered softly, walking
forward and tracing the old weathered sign's kana with his fingers. Perhaps
the owner knew what his father couldn't tell him. Thinking this, he squared
the pack on his shoulders and entered the gate to the Tendou Dojo.
He knocked twice, waited a moment, then knocked again. The door swung
inward on his third knock, revealing a young woman wearing a yellow Gi and a
red belt. He blinked as he noticed her hair, which was almost touching the
gentle curve of her buttocks. Her eyes, he noted, were a deep pool of molten
twilight which were lighted from within by an unknown passion. The man found
himself hot under the womans gaze, her eyes darting from his black pig-tail
to his chinese shirt and pants; she seemed to take in every inch of him as
he bowed. "Please excuse me. I am looking for the Tendou Dojo."
=Holy Formal Education, Batman! He's been taught manners and proper speech!
The woman nodded curtly. "You have found it. I am Tendou Akane, the
sensei."
He bowed again, deeper. "Saotome Ranma. I was told to come here by my
late
father, Saotome Genma."
Akane blinked, unbelieving. A thought ran through her mind: it was over.
The waiting. The sleepless nights. After thirty-five years, a Saotome had
finally come.
[sugg] Change "come" to "arrived"; there are so many dirty little comments I
can make from that one line, it's not funny...well, it is, but still...
She embraced him fiercly, crying openly into the strange man's silk
shirt.
He seemed to stiffen, then relax slightly as he held her to him, murmering
reasurring nothings to her. Akane buried her face into his chest, absorbing
the comfort she found there. He held her for long moments, untill she was
able to calm herself.
=It's a bit jumping the gun, I think. It my mind, when something like this
happen to Ranma, he's going to freeze up and ask questions right then, all
while trying to extricate himself from the arms if need be...unless he was a
lot more than comfortable with women (which, for Ranma, means he already got
married).
"Are you alright?" he asked softly.
Akane sniffled a bit, but nodded. "Yeah.. I am now.."
"You sure?"
She nodded again, stepping reluctanly from his grasp. "Please forgive my
rudeness." she said.
"Uhh.. No need, really.."
Akane smiled at him. "You've come to fulfill the pact, ne?"
Ranma blinked twice in confusion, not understanding. Akane caught his
look
and laughed. It was a genuine laugh, and it echoed easily through the halls
of the ancestrial Tendou home. "Don't understand? Your father didn't tell
you?" she asked, and he nodded.
=More like he shook his head; nodding would mean that he already knows about
it.
She gestured toward the house around them,
and at herself. "Saotome Ranma, as of this moment our father's solem oath
has been fulfilled. You have arrived, and the Tendou home is yours, as am
I."
Ranma narrowed his eyes at the strange woman before him.
=I would imagine Ranma raising some holy hell about another one of his
"stupid pop's schemes" whether he's dead, or not.
'What the hell is
going on, Pops?! What did you do?' He thought.
"I see you're still confused. Come, and I'll explain over a cup of tea."
-**- -**-
Ranma reread the legacy, and looked to Akane for confirmation. She
nodded,
and smiled that same strange half smile she had given him over her cup when
she thought he wasn't looking.
He set the legacy from Tendou Soun -Akane's late father- back onto the
low
table he was kneeling before. "So this is why my father sent me, and also.."
He murmered. Akane refilled his cup with the strong tea, and he savored the
heady scent before taking a slow sip. The cup rested between his hands, the
heat dissipating into them rapidly. He stared into the dark liquid, lost in
thought for a few moments, before speaking again.
"Read it aloud."
=Curiousity asks why must she read it aloud; she already knows what the
document say. I bet she could recite it word for word if her intensity for a
total unknown strange is to indicate anything.
Akane picked up the old document, and squinted at it. Finally, she
reached
over to a stack of books and placed the glasses she found there upon her
nose. Ranma smirked, the glasses made the woman before him look like a
feminine version of an old friend.
"'I, Tendou Soun, being of sound mind and body, made an oath on my
families
honor with my long time friend, Saotome Genma, four years before the birth
of my eldest daughter, that the Tendou and Saotome schools of Anything Goes
Martial Arts should be united by marrage. To this extent, I have trained
each of my daughters in the Art, unknowing of my friend's circumstances in
life. To each I have posed the question of who will carry on the school and
marry the son of Saotome Genma. Of all, my youngest daughter, Tendou Akane,
has acepted. I hereby give all that is mine, including my daughter's hand in
marrage, posthumously to the son of Saotome Genma, until such time as Akane
reaches the age of thirty. At that time, if the son of Saotome Genma
arrives, the choice will be hers wether to accept or nullify this pact.' It
is signed by my father, Tendou Soun."
Ranma took another sip of his tea, mulling this over in his mind. "And
you
are twenty eight, correct?"
"Yes." Akane said as she set the legacy down and straightened her posture.
He pulled his gaze from the dark liquid of the tea to the darker pools of
her eyes. "Do you accept your father's wishes?"
Her gaze was even, and her answer came as naturally as the one before.
"On
my honor, I accept my fathers legacy."
"I wish I had known of this before.." Ranma angrily trailed off as he
returned his gaze to the tea before him.
[Ranma] ...before I got married to that girl back in China.
[Akane] WHAT?! You got married in China?! (fountains tears) I'm going to die
an old spinster! WAAH!
[Ranma] Are you sure you're related to a Soun Tendo?
[Akane] Yes! We cry just alike--! WAAH!!
In a few moments, it would be cold enough.
"Let me tell you someting of myself.." He began, looking once again into
Akane's deep eyes. "Twelve years ago, my father and I visited the
cursed springs of Jusenkyou. There, he forced our guide to show us one
particular spring. I didn't know what it was until it was too late. These
springs had been magically cursed many thousands of years ago, so that
anything or anyone who falls into them changes into something else." He
stopped to test the temprature of his tea, and finding it satisfactory,
upended his cup over his head.
Akane watched in fascination as the man before her physically changed
into
a slightly smaller form.. The form of a woman. Her eyes widened and she
poked Ranma in the chest.
"Yes," She answered Akane's unspoken question, "They're real. The pool I
was forced into was that of drowned girl. Cold water causes the
transformation, while hot water reverts me back to my original form." She
sighed as she saw Akane's brow furrow in thought, and watched as the other
girl removed her glasses.
[Akane] (after a moment of consideration) You know what?
[Ranma] What?
[Akane] You're a pervert! (wields giant mallet overhead and smashes Ranma
flat)
"Why would your father do such a thing on purpose..?"
[Ranma] Because he was an idiot.
[Akane] Besides that.
[Ranma] Oh...I dunno then...
Ranma sighed. "While I didn't know then.. I believe I know now. Our
fathers
swore on the honor of their family name. What if I had been born a girl? Or,
what if I hadn't and you and your sister had been born as boys?" Ranma's
eyes closed and she clenched her hand into a tight fist. "It was a stupid
way of doing it, but-"
"Your father was guaranteeing a marrage into the Tendou family no matter
what the circumstance.." Akane finished for her.
"Yeah." 'It cost him his life, though..' she mentally added, her
countanance darkening.
"Is there something wrong?" Akane asked, worry creaping into her voice.
Ranma sighed. If she was to marry this woman, then Akane had a right to
know. "My father was training me to be a 'Man Amoung Men', in accordance to
my mother's dying wish. When I first pulled myself from the pool, I was in a
rage.. I couldn't control myself."
Akane's eyes widened. "Saotome-kun..
=Awfully casual after just meeting for the first time since never. Probably
better to go with -san for now.
You didn't kill your own father, did you?"
Her head shot up, her legs swung apart, her fist slammed into the table
and
Ranma's tear filled eyes fearfully locked onto Akane's. "NO! It was an
accident! I.. I hit him, and he flew into one of the polls that were stuck
in the pools. It.. it broke on i-impact.." Her gaze fell as tears spattered
onto the wooden floorboards. "The bamboo.. pierced his heart.." She quickly
=I'm not a doctor by any stretch of the imagination (closest I'll ever get is
psychologist), but I would imagine having a bamboo shoot rammed through the
heart isn't going to allow the time to sneeze, let alone final words (unless
he's the Micro Machines Guy 'mid-to-late-80s; even then, that's pushing it),
even if it managed to avoid hitting the other vital organs within the same
area. Saying "The bamboo...it ran him through..." leaving us to think how it
looks without dispelling the illusion.
looked up again, "I tried to save him! B-but he.. he told me to come here
with his last breath.." She faultered.
=Faultered-->faltered.
Akane sat in stunned silence, absorbing what had been said. "It.. it was
an
accident, Saotome-kun.. there was nothing you could do.. I'm sure you did
all that anyone could have done."
Her words seemed to calm Ranma considerably. The woman lowered her gaze
and
nodded, collecting herself. The fist on the table slowly relaxed, then
clenched tightly again. "T-.. Tendou Akane. I must ask you one last time.
Knowing of my curse, can you accept your fathers legacy..?"
'His father did his best, and mine his.' Akane thought briefly before
encircling Ranma's hand with both her own. Ranma's other hand joined with
Akane's as she sighed. "Let me tell you about my childhood, Ranma. Then I'll
answer your question."
Ranma nodded, and Akane continued. "My father was a very loving man, and
I'm sure he wanted the best for all of his daughters.. But.." She paused,
giving the other woman's hand a squeeze. "He wanted to join the schools even
more. My eldest sister, Kasumi, began training when she was two, so did
Nabiki -she's my older sister too, but two years younger than Kasumi- and so
did I. Kasumi stopped shortly after our mother died, partly because she was
needed to cook and care for us while daddy was working; and partly, I think,
because mother never really approved of the agreement.. And Kasumi had so
wanted to be just like mom. She's married now, to a nice chiropractor named
Dr. Tofu, who we had seen for our injuries for years. We all knew He was
Kasumi's future, even father, but he wouldn't let them marry untill the son
of Saotome Genma arrived."
=Well, there went that piece of honor...seeing as the son of Ranma just
arrived about twenty minutes ago...
Akane took a reasurring breath and smiled. "Nabiki.. Never really had any
intrest in men,
=Actually, she did; most just proved to be too easy to sucker in, excepting
Kinnosuke, who is the closest Nabiki has ever come to loving a total stranger
in the romantic sense.
or the art.. The only man in her life was daddy, and when he
died.. Well, let's just say she's a real spinster -but she is with her only
other love: Money. A corprate big wig, she started working for a small
investment firm and her skills and instinct took them to the top."
"And what about you..?" Ranma quietly asked.
"I was trained to be as I am now. My father taught me all that he could,
and I've learned the rest over the years I've waited for you." Akane
stopped, letting one of Ranma's hands go, and raised the other to her cheek.
"I was promised to you. That was father's choice, and later, mine as well. I
was the best Martial Artist, the most playful, the most.." She smiled,
taking one of Ranma's fingers into her mouth, twiddling her tongue along its
length and then against its tip. She kept at it until Ranma shuddered before
relinquishing it and continuing; "..sexually curious of the three." She held
Ranma's hand in both of hers and kissed the back of it before letting go.
The hand stayed there for a moment before the other woman snatched it back.
Akane smirked.
Ranma stared at her hand in disbelief. The finger which had recieved
Akane's attentions was still moist. "Ma.. Masaka.. You want this, don't you?
You absolutly want this.."
Akane didn't answer right away, but stood, walking over to the open Shogi
screens. She paused a moment, her back to Ranma, watching the cherry
blossums fall, then she slowly shut the screen as she spoke. "For seventeen
years, you have haunted my dreams. Not a day went by that I didn't once
think of you, and wonder who you were, or where you were. You, Saotome,
have brought me to climax time and time again. You are, and will forever be,
the only man I will ever sleep with. I want to spend my life with you, even
if you hate me for it. Despise me, I don't care. I've been through enough."
She stopped as she shut the door, and half turned towards the object of her
desires. "Am I making any sense? Yes? Humnn.. Do you know how much I ache to
hold you? To make love to you now, even while you are a woman?"
=[brandishing a pair of .45s ala The Shadow] All right, who are you, and what
did you do to the real Akane? Answer me!!
Ranma's eyes were wide, reflecting what little light seeped into the room
from elsewhere, as Akane seductivly slinked towards her. The younger woman
knelt, crawling over her, forcing her to lie back while preventing Ranma
from escaping too easily. "Do you know the pain, too, that's there?." She
whispered softly into Ranma's ear as she kissed her. "Knowing that you have
my love, but I only your sympathy.. If even that?"
=Okay, she's really beginning to scare me, now. Akane, a sexual predator?
She's almost at Kodachi-level obsession, three clicks away.
Ranma struggled with her thoughts as Akane's eyes came into view. The
girl's long blue-black hair hung over her sholder, serving as a bridge
between them, and Ranma reached for it. It was very soft, and each silken
strand seemed to shimmer with an internal light, just as Akane's eyes were
alight with the same passion as before. Passion for her. It was then that
Ranma came to a conclusion.
[Ranma] I'm dreaming. Any moment now, I'm going to wake up to the sight of a
black-and-white ball of fur I call "pops" and about all of Japan and half of
China either wanting to kill me or marry me.
Akane was shocked to find Ranma's lips pressed against her own. She
pressed
deeper into the kiss, only to feel herself being moved. Ranma forced them
into a seated position, and embraced the younger woman. "My life has been
spent on the road, learning the art. I've never had much time for anything
else. I don't know how to act in situations like this, so I can only ask one
thing.."
=Funny, you really don't seem like you're inexperienced....
"Anything." She murmered, returning Ranma's embrace.
"I see a light in your eyes directed towards me that I've never seen
before.. And I want that. I want to know what that feeling is. Can you do
enough loving for both of us.. Until I learn how to love? Can you teach me
to open my heart as you do?"
Akane gasped. Tears began to fall from her eyes. A soft moan escaped from
her, only to be formed into words. "..oh, Ranma.. Yes. I love you. But
please..." She said, pulling away just enough to look into Ranma's eyes.
"Please.. I've waited for so long.. Make me a woman tonight."
[choking in shock]
Ranma kissed her deeply, which was the only answer Akane needed.
-*_*- -*_*-
With Akane held close to him, Ranma dreamt of the past. . .
-*_*- -*_*-
"Is sir alright?"
Ranma removed his gaze from his fathers grave to meet the eyes of the
Jusenkyou Guide's daughter, Plum. He nodded, although he felt anything but.
"I.. I am knowing how feel for you, My mother die too, not long ago. But,
you not sad. Why?"
Ranma closed his eyes, forcing the tears back. "Men.. Don't cry. No
matter
what. Not for anything.." He stopped as a single tear traced its hot line
down his cheak.
"Why. Is shameful? Is that what you told? Your father take here to teach,
so I give you lesson." She came closer, and he turned his face from her.
"You think you strong, yes? You wait. See what pain do to soul. No let out,
soul twist to nothing. I know. I.. I almost suffer through same."
He said nothing, but turned from her completely. >>
Well, as far as manga and anime Ranma goes, this is best done as an original
fic. Sure it involves the use of Ranma 1/2 character names and situations,
but it doesn't feel like a real Ranma 1/2 fanfic. It's almost like a
Harlequin romance deal, only much shorter.
Since the story is apparently not running similar lines with either sources,
that means you're going to have to do a lot of explaining about the others.
The Kunous can be ditched, understandable, Shampoo could be handled in
somewhat the same manner by not going to the village that day or any other
day, really, but Ukyou is a completely different story herself. She would
have found Ranma and tried to kill him for leaving her, he would have found
out that she was really a girl all along and the their engagement, which he
would have to uphold it whether he liked it or not, being it was an honored
agreement between their parents. Of course, going by that Ranma, he would
have latched onto Ukyou like a starfish on a mussel and fell in love with
her, eventually marrying her anyway. And she likes his curse (well, she
thought it was really neat and didn't seem to mind it at all from the
beginning, unlike Akane and Shampoo's initial reactions). There's also Kaori
from the anime, but you can playfully ignore her if you like.
Aside from that, there isn't that much wrong with your story. Just pace
yourself, and do not try to resolve everything within one chapter (unless
it's a oneshot). It'll be interesting to see how you handle the explainings.
Rainman
Come check out my fics at:
http://lwf58.tripod.com/fan_fiction/raemowse/raemowse.html