On Sat, 19 Feb 2000, Rod M wrote:
Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2000 00:07:28 -0500 (EST)
From: Rod M <rpm@thekeep.org>
To: ffml@fanfic.com
Subject: [FFML] [repost] The Pursuit of Happiness 3-1
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< > - English
<" "> - Chinese
// // - emitted from a P.S. system, telephone, or other
electric medium.
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See my notes for the prelude.
===========================
The Pursuit of Happiness
ACT 3
Home
Part 1
No Okonomiyaki For You!
===========================
See my notes for the prelude.
Time had a funny way of moving along, sometimes slower than
one wishes, sometimes far quicker one ever realized. As
Ukyou stared blankly out the window at the lightly falling
drizzle, she reflected on that, and lamented the fact that
she was out of time.
You indented your paragraphs fairly well in the prelude; please don't spoil
that now.
There was something she knew she'd have to face, something
that she just couldn't ignore.
"Hey, Ryouga?"
"Hm?" The lost boy looked up from the table he was cleaning
and looked at Ukyou curiously. She'd been acting strange
lately, distracted, as if something was weighing heavily on
her mind.
"I..."
He blinked. "You...?"
"I..."
... want you to go with me.
... stay by me.
... don't let me go alone.
Suggest: Delete space after ellipsis in all three of above.
"I'm gonna havta go away for a while," she said, keeping her
eyes locked down on the grill as she polished it in endless
circles.
Sp: hafta __OR__ Gram: have to
Suggest: "have to"
This did, however, stop Ryouga's cleaning.
"Go away?" he asked, sounding as if the concept was
something alien to him.
Gram: were [truth stranger than fiction, this is correct in this case.]
Suggest: Delete "something" and possible "sounding"
i.e.: ".. asked, as if the concept were alien to him."
"Yeah," she continued, still not able to look him in the
eye. "There's some stuff I've gotta take care of...
personal stuff. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but...
I'll be gone."
"Um... why?"
"Just personal stuff," repeated Ukyou. "Look, I know how
you get lost easy, so I've asked Ranchan if you could stay
with'em for a while."
Gram: 'em is only ever used for "them". try just using "with him"
_or_: if you did mean 'them', don't have her having asked just one person.
Note: As mentioned for prelude, retain the space when you're using an
apostrophe at beginning or end of a word, as "livin' with" or "with 'em"
That statement didn't make him any happier. "Hey, I don't
need to stay with them!"
Suggest: Delete "statement"
Suggest: Change 'them' to 'him' if all she said was that she asked Ranma.
"Hey, it's either that or spend most of the week lost."
"It's not THAT bad!"
She didn't answer that. Instead, she idly whistled and
continued polishing the grill.
"Okay, so it is that bad," grumbled Ryouga.
As mentioned for prelude, Ryouga's just too stubborn for this.
"Hey, I'll probably be back in no time," lied Ukyou.
"Really?"
"Really."
* * *
The walk to school turned out to be a little more violent
than usual.
"WHERE *yank* ARE *yank* YOU *yank* GOING?!"
Suggest: Only one "*yank*"
"OW! Leggo of my ear!"
"If you'd just walk in the right direction I wouldn't- NO
DON'T TURN RIGHT! *yank*"
Gram: wouldn't -- NO, DON'T ...
"Ow! Okay, already! Cut it out!"
Ukyou could feel the eyes turned towards them and hear the
whispers as people talked. Just like before... just like
when Ranchan left her...
"Um, Ukyou?"
She blinked, snapping out of her remeniscence. "Yeah,
what?"
"Where are we now?"
"Huh?" She looked around. This.. wasn't Nerima.
With a sudden burst of insight, she realized what went
wrong. She stopped paying attention to where they were
going. She was walking with _him_.
Of course they were going to get lost.
"This is your fault!"
"How's it my fault?!"
"You always get us lost!"
"Hey, I-"
Gram: ".., I --"
"C'mon, let's catch a bus," she grumbled, taking him by the
hand. "If we're lucky, we can still get there on time."
If they were lucky...
Suggest: .. lucky, ...
* * *
"Bucket! Hall! Now!"
Suggest: Buckets
But they weren't.
Suggest: ...But they weren't.
Ryouga found himself in the unenviable situation of being
alone in the hallway with a stressed out Ukyou. She wasn't
feeling good, and he figured that he was to blame.
Next to him, Ukyou held her buckets and merely stared at the
ground, her expression hidden from him.
Odd that she'd be this upset over being late, but...
The more he thought about it, the more strange it
seemed that she'd be so mad from just being late.
Something wasn't quite right. But that didn't change the
current situation.
Apologies would definitely have to be given. It seemed like
the only option available to him.
"Ukyou?"
Either she didn't hear him or ignored him. Whatever the
case, neither option was pleasant.
Um.. From Ryouga's POV, they're possibilities, not options.
Nothing to do but try again.
"Ukyou?"
Still silence. Well then, nothing left to do but press on
and hope things got better.
"Um, I'm sorry about this morning."
"Sorry?" she asked, still looking down.
"You know," he continued uneasily. "Late, lost, um, you
know."
She suddenly turned to face him.... smiling.
And smiling brightly.
"No, it's not your fault. Don't worry about it."
It was the kind of smile only worn with an effort. The kind
of smile that's usually meant to be reassuring, but usually
fails.
"You sure?" asked Ryouga.
"Sure, I'm sure!" replied Ukyou brightly. Too brightly.
"It's just that..."
"Hm?"
"Something seems to be bothering you."
"No, I'm okay. Really I am."
Of course, he didn't believe her, but he wasn't the type to
press an issue.
Unless it involved Ranma and the possibility of beating him
up.
LOL.
* * *
Lunch in Furinkan High began with an elbow to the side and
words said in a hushed whisper. It wasn't the way Ryouga
planned to spend lunch, and it was getting more irritating
by the minute.
"Hey," said Ranma. "What's this about Ucchan leavin' town?"
"You mean you don't know?" asked Ryouga, giving Ranma a
puzzled look.
"I don't know? You're the one that oughta know. You're
livin' with her, aren't ya?"
Ryouga scratched his head. "She didn't tell me anything,
just that she was gonna be leaving in a few days."
"Probably got sick of him," said Hiroshi.
Daisuke nodded sagely. "Indeed. Didn't wanna hurt the
guy's feelings."
"Excuse me?!" yelled Ryouga.
"Probably needed to stretch her wings, or something like
that," continued Hiroshi.
"She has been wearing more girlish clothes lately," observed
Daisuke.
"Oh yeah, she's got great legs. Reallly oughta show'em more
often," said Hiroshi.
This conversation was taking unwanted and somewhat
embarrassing turns. Ryouga tried, unsuccessfully,
to stop it. "Guys..."
"So you think Ryouga's cramping her style?" asked Ranma.
"Hey you!"
Hiroshi and Daisuke hmmed.
"Just might be," said Hiroshi.
"Seems likely," said Daisuke.
Ryouga's heart sank. "W-what?"
"Well, I mean, look," said Hiroshi. "She pays you, feeds
you, guides you around. It's like she's got a kid to take
care of or something."
"I... I never realized I was..."
"And if she wants to make any progress in the romance front,
and you're not it, then she has to find some way to get you
outta the scene."
"She... I..."
"Puttin'it kinda harsh there, aren't ya?" asked Ranma.
"Oh, we could be wrong," said Daisuke.
"Could be," said Hiroshi. "Hey, I hear they're having a
sale on pork buns today."
This caught Ranma's attention quickly. "Really? Hey,
let's get moving!"
"So that's why the hoards were bigger 'round the lunch lines
today," said Daisuke.
These dialogues between mostly Hiroshi and Daisuke get tiresome, but that's
just my personal opinion, and I really don't want you to change it. Just felt
like mentioning it.
The trio, now settled on an objective, strode happily
towards more supplies, leaving Ryouga alone and depressed.
And when Ryouga gets depressed, he had a habit of letting
off a ki blast.
In mid-stride, Ranma paused and noticed Ryouga not
accompanying him. "Hey Ryouga! C'mon! Pork buns, yeah?"
"SHISHI HOUKOUDAN!!!"
*BOOM*
Usually when Ryouga's just letting off steam, he shoots it off into the air.
* * *
Ukyou raised an eyebrow and looked around. "Hey, did you
guys just hear something?"
"Like what?" asked Sayuri.
"Thought I heard an explosion or something," said Ukyou, as
a small, pig-tailed speck in the sky flew high overhead.
LOL
"Martial artist paranoia," said Yuka. "You've gotta learn
to relax."
"I guess you're right," said Ukyou, looking around
uncertainly. "Though I really thought I heard..."
"So, what's this about you leaving town?" asked Nabiki.
"That's... personal."
She was expecting Nabiki to nag about it, to buzz around the
edges of the topic, to find some way to get Ukyou to tell
her what was going on. That was what Nabiki did.
She didn't expect what Nabiki said next.
"Oh. Well. Okay."
WTF?! You really need to explain this, you can't expect to get away with
justifying it simply by having one of the characters in your fic be surprised.
Hrm. New surprises every day.
"Hey, Ukyou, you really oughta wear that more often," said
Sayuri, indicating Ukyou's school uniform - the one that
girls usually wore, which was the one she was wearing today.
"The tomboy look is okay," said Yuka, "but I gotta agree,
going feminine works for you."
"Oh, I dunno," said Nabiki. "She looks great as a guy."
Ukyou laughed nervously. She didn't like the way Nabiki
said that, and especially the way she was looking at her.
"Aheh, come on now..."
Erm... I think I see where this is going...
"What? So I think you look cute as a guy," said Nabiki with
a lazy grin. Ukyou blushed and edged slightly away from
Nabiki.
"Nabiki!" said Sayuri, sounding a bit scandalized.
"Hey, you two knuckleheads were wondering if 'he' was
available too," said Nabiki.
The two girls blushed and looked away, whistling idly.
Akane, sensing the topic was spiraling into largely
uncharted and fairly uncomfortable waters, tried to steer it
away. "Aheh, so, Miss Hinako's been kinda mild lately,
hasn't she?"
"In fact," continued Nabiki with a nastily sharp grin,
resting an arm on Ukyou's shoulder, "some girls still wanna
know if you're still available."
"Hey, just a minute! Just 'cause I dress like a guy does
_not_ mean-"
"Will you be my date to the prom?" asked Nabiki.
I knew it!!
There was a sudden blast of silence, punctuated by everyone
staring at Nabiki, who had, in Ukyou's opinion, an
alarmingly sincere look on her face.
"You're kidding," said Ukyou weakly. "Right?"
Nabiki looked left, then right, then leaned towards Ukyou.
"Yes, I am," she replied, that nasty grin returning to her
face.
Everyone facefaulted.
The reader included.
"Oh, very funny," said Ukyou sarcastically. "Veeeeery
funny."
Problem: too many e's. Makes me want to pronounce it almost-not-quite-exactly
rhyming with "hearing"
* * *
The walk home from school for Ryouga was uncomfortably
quiet. Ukyou seemed to be generating a low level sphere of
silence, one that Ryouga felt would be bad to break. There
was obviously something disturbing her, but he wasn't sure
how to bring it up.
Actually, he wasn't sure if he wanted to bring it up. A
spatula to the face was something he preferred to avoid.
So, with both persons having nothing to say, they remained
silent walking to Ucchan's, opening Ucchan's, and starting
the restaurant for business.
Ukyou's expression had improved, at least, from one of
distracted worry to that of a slight, extremely hard to
detect hint of a smile.
It didn't quite reach her eyes, though.
Everything seemed to indicate the rest of the day was going
to go along smoothly, or, at least, better than it'd gone
so far.
A light buzzing interrupted his thoughts as a fly flew
around them. He waved at it, causing the insect to hover
around Ukyou's head instead.
With blazing speed, she pulled out her battle spatula,
sliced through the air around her twice, then slid it back
in its place.
A wingless fly flopped to the pavement.
Ryouga stared at Ukyou, who still held on to that eerie,
strained smile of hers, then at the wingless fly.
Yes, silence would definitely be the best option.
Funny. Yet somehow disturbing.
* * *
Kyoko Muhoshin burst through the doors of the Tendo
household happily, yelling, "I'm hooooome!"
Nabiki groaned.
Kyoko wasn't a bad kid. She didn't come close to being a
brat. In fact, she was a happy kid. A very happy kid.
So happy it was driving Nabiki insane at times.
And yet... she couldn't bring herself to snap at the girl.
It was like kicking a puppy. She could be cold, but even
she had her limits.
"So where've you been, kid?" asked Nabiki.
"Visitin' Ryoko-neesan!"
"She's the one that works as a waitress, right?"
Kyoko nodded. Nabiki would have been tempted to say she
heard something rattle, but considering Kyoko's grades so
far, constantly in or near the top of the class, Kyoko could
harldy be called stupid.
More bubbly than soda, yes. Stupid, no.
"Where's Akane-neesan?" she asked.
"Out with her fiancee," replied Nabiki. "You know how
couples are..."
Kyoko didn't, but she nodded anyway. She'd been taught it
was better to look competent than to admit ignorance. Kyoko
figured she'd figure it all out later anyway.
I detect foreshadowing.
"What'cha doin?" she asked Nabiki.
"Watching the news, kid."
Television, or, to be more specific, the sudden addition of
several hundred channels to the television, was an
unexpected bonus. As it turned out, Kyoko was a mass media
junkie. When she wasn't sparring with her father, Mr.
Saotome, Ranma, or Akane, she was sitting in front of the
television and this... device... this thing that somehow
managed to snag television signals from across the globe.
Heh.
Occasionally, while watching some odd television show
from who-knows-where, Kyoko would say something strange,
like...
"Wai! Narf!"
The pinky and the brain, the pinky and the brain; one is a genius, the other's
insane. ^^;
"Wai! C'est une grande!"
"Wai! der preis hat heiss!"
"Wai! Indennita!"
"Wai! Un carro novo!"
After a few days of this, much to Nabiki's surprise, she
realized she was actually beginning to _understand_ what the
girl was saying.
Watching the world news from foreign eyes, especially now
that she had a half-idea of what they were saying, was
becoming an addictive hobby.
"CNN?" asked Kyoko.
Nabiki shook her head. "McLaughlan Hour."
Kyoko pouted. She hated the McLaughlan Hour.
Never heard of it. Is it real?
"Where's Kasumi-neesan?"
At least she doesn't call her "Kasumi-baasan"!
"Probably in the kitchen," Nabiki replied. "Why don't you
go help her?"
"Okaaaaay!"
Too many a's. Makes me want to pronounce it like I normally write "oh...kay."
Kyoko left. Nabiki felt better.
* * *
"Hihi Kasumi-neesan!"
The eldest Tendo sister smiled that really bright and happy
smile that even the most psychotic of men found utterly
charming and sacred.
"Hello, Kyoko-chan!"
"What'cha doin?"
"Just getting dinner ready," Kasumi said pleasantly.
"Can I help?" asked Kyoko, hopping up and down excitedly.
The girl had helped once before, though all all she really
did last time was just to set the plates and bring out the
food. This time she was hoping for more.
Kasumi looked at the girl thoughtfully. "Now, what can I
have you do first?"
Being somewhat impatient, Kyoko hopped around the kitchen
looking for some food-related chore to take on.
Oh-ho! A knife! She liked knives!
"Kasumi-neesan! Chop-chop!" she said merrily, waving the
knife around.
"Oh my, be careful with that!" exclaimed Kasumi.
"Whada I chop first? Whanna chop!" Kyoko spied a few
carrots nearby and didn't hesitate.
*chopchopchopchopchop*
"That's... good, Kyoko-chan," said Kasumi. "But I didn't
need the carrots to be... that thin."
"Oh? Oopsie!"
"Here, let me show you."
Kasumi took the knife, carefully, then took another carrot
and steadily began chopping it into even slices that weren't
paper-thin.
* chop chop chop chop chop *
"See?"
"Oh."
Kyoko took note of her technique, and copied it perfectly a
moment later.
* chop chop chop chop chop *
That wasn't the thing she was paying attention to the most.
It was the rhythm.
* chop chop chop chop chop *
It had a certain... musical quality to it, like a commercial
she heard once.
o/~ Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow
meow MEOW meow meow meow o/~
LOL!!!! Can't get it out of my head unless I...
*finishes the song*
o~meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow.. Meow, -MEOW-o~
"My, that's a funny little song," said Kasumi cheerfully.
"S'a commercial song I heard on the television," explained
Kyoko.
Gram: "'s a commercial .."
"It certainly is catchy," observed Kasumi.
The two resumed chopping, beating out a constant rhythm on
the cutting boards. Before she realized it, Kasumi had
joined in on the little jingle.
But that was okay.
It was kind of fun.
o/~ Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow
meow MEOW meow meow meow o/~
* * *
"You almost ready, Akane?"
"In a minute!"
Ranma grumbled, something about women, clothes, and time, as
he walked down the stairway. Had Akane heard, she surely
would have hit him. Instead, he said his peace in peace and
trudged over to the kitchen to get a drink.
"Hihi, Ranma-sensei!"
"Hey, kid." Ranma breezed by Kyoko, ruffling her hair as he
passed, then took a sniff of the boiling pot on the stove.
"Smells great, Kasumi."
Here's a perfect place for Akane to mallet Ranma for no apparent reason.
"Thank you, Ranma," said Kasumi with a smile.
"Me'n Akane are gonna visit Ucchan's, so I dunno if we'll be
in for dinner."
"I'll save you some, just in case."
"With pop there? Good luck."
He made his way to the refrigerator, opened the door,
grabbed a nice cold can of soda...
* chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop *
... took a big gulp, and...
o/~ Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow
meow MEOW meow meow meow o/~
... spat it out as his nerves were slammed into a jittering
panic, images of dancing cats surrounding him, meow meow
meow meow MEOW MEOW MEOW-
Oh, so there WAS a point to that little bit.
*WOOSH*
Kyoko blinked. "Woooow, Ranma-sensei runs faaaast."
Kasumi giggled. "He's so silly sometimes."
* * *
A quick run later.....
"So you noticed it too?" asked Akane.
Ranma nodded. "Yeah, something's bothering her but she just
doesn't wanna talk about it."
The pair looked hesitantly at Ucchan's, wondering if pushing
the matter was a good idea.
"Well, we really oughta," said Ranma.
"She is our friend," said Akane.
"NO OKONOMIYAKI FOR YOU! OUT! NEXT!"
The pair blinked. That was Ukyou's voice, and it sounded
pretty mad. A moment later, a Furinkan High student
wandered out, an utterly stunned and dejected look on his
face.
"Hey, what's going on?" asked Ranma.
The student, still in shock, mumbled, "all I said was I
needed time to order..." Shaking his head, he walked away
and into the setting sun.
"What the heck is going on?" wondered Ranma.
"C'mon, let's find out."
* * *
The scene inside of Ucchan's was that of, for lack of a
better description, totalitarianism.
A line of patrons stood, perfectly straight and entirely
silent. At the heart of the restaurant, a grim and gritty
looking Ukyou stood behind the grill, looking as menacing as
Lord Enma, Judge of the Dead.
Is this from actual Japanese Mythology and if not where's it from and why's it
included?
Behind her, a fairly nervous looking Ryouga stood.
Ranma saw Hiroshi and Daisuke in line, standing as if for
military inspection.
"Hey, what's going on?" he asked Hiroshi.
"Shh! Not so loud!" hissed Hiroshi. Ukyou shot a brief,
dark glare in their general direction.
Ranma blinked. "Um... okay."
"NEXT ORDER!" bellowed Ukyou.
"I-I'll have the Kyoto Special," stuttered the next
customer. He silently put his money on the counter, then
took a step right. With dazzling speed, Ukyou grilled up his
okonomiyaki and tossed it on a plate. Ryouga silently and
solemnly handed it to the customer, who then scuttled away
into a corner of the restaurant.
"NEXT ORDER!"
And the cycle began anew.
It was at this point that Ranma decided to try to calm his
old friend down.
"Heya, Ucch-"
"STAY IN LINE!"
The basic male instinct for survival has several features.
One of them is to do what an enraged woman tells you to do,
unless fleeing is an option.
While it was apparent that Ranma's survival instinct was
defective (as his many experiences with Akane have proven),
it was still there and occasionally worked.
Ranma, shaken by the unexpected blast of Ukyou's lungs,
immediately snapped into line.
Akane, however, didn't. "Ukyou, what's wrong with-"
"QUIET! GET IN LINE!"
The yell itself wasn't so bad. The battle aura that
accompanied it, however, was approaching the magnitute of a
full Soun Tendo Anything Goes Demon's Head.
Akane immediately snapped into line.
* * *
They found themlselves huddled in a corner of Ucchan's,
keeping their heads low and occasionally cringing as Ukyou
roared 'NO OKONOMIYAKI FOR YOU!' to some unfortunate
victim.
"Aren't we here to try and help her?" whispered Akane.
"Yeah, we are," said Ranma. "But I'm not done with my
okonomiyaki yet."
It'd be better if Ranma just whined "but she's so scaary..."
*WHAP*
"Idiot."
The pair lapsed into uncomfortable silence a while longer,
as sunset turned to nightfall, and the stars took their
place over the city.
While Ukyou was currently cooking what might have been the
best okonomiyaki in the world at that point, food quality
could only go so far before being killed by the personality
of a dictator. The crowds slowly and surely began to thin,
until the restaurant was nearly empty.
Ranma seemed distracted, as if something was nagging at him.
And, after a minute longer, he finally realized what it was.
"This okonomiyaki's good."
This is the sort of line that begged for a sarcastic reply.
Akane didn't disappoint.
"Duh."
"No, you don't get it," said Ranma. "When Ucchan's upset,
her cooking's usually terrible."
Since when?
Akane's eyes opened wide in surprise. "Oh, you're right."
"Something pretty weird is goin'on."
I'm not going to be repetitive, but RETAIN THE SPACE IF YOU'RE PUTTING AN
APOSTROPHE ON THE BEGINNING OR END OF A WORD!
"I got an idea," said Akane. "Let's ask Ryouga."
The pair looked to the main grill, where Ryouga was still
doing his duties assisting Ukyou. This usually involved him
taking the money and handing out the okonomiyaki.
With lots of hand waving (done discretely, i.e., when Ukyou
wasn't looking) they managed to get his attention. He
nervously said a few words with Ukyou, who merely nodded and
resumed grilling. He made his way to their table, where he
was immediately besieged with questions.
"What's with Ucchan?"
"Did she say anything to you?"
"Did you go an'make her mad again?"
"Waitaminute! It isn't my fault!"
Akane gave Ranma a light bop on the back of the head. "Cut
it out, dear. Ryouga, you don't have any idea why Ukyou's
upset?"
"I wish I knew," replied Ryouga. "She's been like this
since we got home from school."
"Did you try asking her?" asked Akane.
"I've been afraid to ask."
"I can see why," mumbled Ranma.
I'd disarm her first, at any rate.
"Guys, we can't just leave her to handle... whatever it is
that's bothering her by herself!"
"Listen, Akane, sometimes you've just gotta let people work
it out for themselves," said Ranma. "I think this is one of
those times."
Akane sighed and rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you two are
such cowards sometimes. _I' m_ going to go talk to Ukyou."
Ryouga paled. "A-Akane, I don't know if that's such a good
idea."
Akane's fiancee, on the other hand, didn't have as
good a grasp of word choice. "C'mon Akane, don't do
something stupid."
She gave him another mild bap to the head. "Boys," she
grumbled derisively.
Undaunted and feeling fairly optimistic about her chances of
calming Ukyou down, Akane went, almost cheerfully, to talk
to her. Knowing nothing but trouble would result, Ranma and
Ryouga followed not far behind.
"Ukyou, I-"
"WHATAYOUWANT?"
The meeting of positive energy to negative energy nearly
sent sparks flying.
"Um, I..."
It was apparent that Akane's plan was going downhill, and
fast. Ranma really did have the best of intentions.
But you know what they say about good intentions...
Um... AFAIK, what they say is "the road to hell is paved with ...", I fail to
see the relevance.
"Ucchan, calm down, willy-"
Either finish "willya" or break it in a more sensible place. It's not possible
in actual speech to be cut off between a consonant and a vowel if the two are
on the same syllable.
"Shaddup, you aquatransexual two-timing freeloading thieving
womanizing fem-boy."
Sp: aquatranssexual
What few customers that were still remaining decided to
clear out. They knew trouble when they heard it.
"Hey, Ucchan, waitaminute!"
"Don't talk to him like that!" snapped Akane.
Ukyou, her expression already incredibly tense and angry,
somehow managed to move up a notch in the tense and angry
department.
"I'll talk to him any way I like, ya flat-chested,
can't-cook, uncute, ape-like, violent, clumsy, naive-"
um.. "can't-cook" looks awkward here.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
"You heard me, you-"
"You want a piece of me?!" snarled Akane, rolling up a
sleeve.
"Any time, sugar!" roared Ukyou, battle spatula unsheathed.
Their women were mad.
The men had to act.
It was, perhaps, the wrong thing to do.
"Hey, c'mon," said Ranma, gently tugging at his fiancee's
arm.
"Ukyou, will you stop it!" urged Ryouga.
Both women turned to look at the men with a glare that
Medusa would envy. "BUTT OUT!"
I believe that Medusa turned people to stone with her ugliness, not any sort of
glare.
*WHAM*
*CLANG*
---
Ranma sighed. "Girls."
"I just can't understand her sometimes," grumbled Ryouga.
"Get used to it."
The two of them shared a mutual sigh as they passed through
a cloud, startling a flock of birds in flight.
"Know where we're landing?" asked Ryouga.
"Tai Park, I think."
"Oh," said Ryouga. "Hey, doesn't that place have a lake in
it?"
"Yeah."
Ryouga thought about this.
"At least we'll have a soft landing."
Ranma gave him a questioning look. "Ever hit water from a
high altitude?"
"Okay, not so soft."
owch... I've hit a swimming pool flat-on from a diving board. I don't even
wanna think of how it'd be from low earth orbit.
---
"DIE!"
*CRASH*
"HA! Is that the best you can do, JACKASS?!"
"No... THIS IS!"
"Whoop!"
*WHAM*
"Oww... right then, try this!"
*CLANG*
Who's saying/doing what here?
* * *
Upon one of the many rooftops of Nerima, an unusual pair
stared out into the night. One was merely happy to be with
the other, while the other was thinking of other things...
<Kinda 'ungry, I am.>
"Pardon, Noori-sama?"
"Hungry."
"Oh." The crossdressing ninja looked around, his sharp eyes
searching through the night. "Ucchan's is nearby," said
Konatsu, pointing to a building across the street and
somewhat below.
<Wot?>
This word, Konatsu had learned. Tanya had repeated it
enough times for Konatsu to figure it out.
"Ucchan's? The place with the okonomiyaki?"
"Oh." Tanya, tired from a day's work of cleaning chimneys,
thought nothing of it. Then she remembered something.
<S'the girlfriend of Ryouga wot runs it, roight?>
I'm not even gonna say that the proper spelling is "'s the .."
"Noori-sama?"
Tanya sighed and took a deep breath. She'd have to give
Konatsu some learn-English-in-ten-days tapes or something.
"Ryouga's girl. She runs Ucchan's, yes?"
"I think so."
She mulled this fact over.
"Why not?"
Just before they were to leap down to the street below, a
body smashed through the front door of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki.
<Isn't that Akane Tendo?> asked Tanya.
To Konatsu's ears, the phrase sounded something like, "blah
blah blah Akane Tendo?" Given the situation, he managed to
guess.
"Yes, that is."
I'd kinda expect Akane's name to be horribly mispronounced, but to each their
own...
Down below, Akane stood up quickly and, with a battle yell,
charged back into the restaurant.
"Hmmm."
Tanya mulled, once more, her dinner choices. While a good
fight was something to be appreciated...
"Let's go somewhere else. Not in the mood tonight."
Konatsu seemed disappointed. "Oh. Okay. How about
MacDaimonji's?"
You know, they -do- have McDonalds restaurants in Japan. It's really a
worldwide chain.
"Well..... okay."
* * *
The interior of Ucchan's, once a pristine and well-kept
establisment, looked much like a war zone. Overturned
tables and chairs, many shattered and surrounded with
splinters, marred the floors.
Sp: establishment
Here and there, further evidence of violence were scattered.
Several fist and foot-shaped holes dotted the walls, as well
as quite a few mini-spatulas. Stains from flour bombs added
to the wall decorations. Yakisoba noodles spun lazily from
the ceiling fans, one of them wrapped around a mallet.
There were no witnesses remaining to see this, however, as
they had all run to safety. While fights were common in
Nerima, and duels were often observed by large crowds,
everyone knew the really _personal_ fights could easily get
out of hand.
At the center of this once pristine eating establishment was
a battle that was, earlier, of equal intensity as that of
such epic battles as Miyamoto Musashi's eternally famous
duel with Sasaki Kojiro Genryu, Magic Johnson's duels with
Larry Bird, and Godzilla's devastating battle against
Mecha-Godzilla.
Sp: Gojira
And as all battles do, this one was finally coming upon its
conclusion.
"You're... *gasp*wheeze* you're finished, okonomiyaki
nazi!"
And since godwins law terminates the thread, I can't do any more C+C. Oh, wait,
that only applies on usenet.
"Not *wheeze*gasp* 'less you go down first, gorilla girl!"
The rivals glared at each other once more, taking a deep
breath to refill their nearly spent energies...
... and then they charged.
At this point, the miscellaneous scattered debris became a
factor, in a most embarrassing way.
Ukyou tripped over a bit of chair.
Akane stepped on a pointy bit sticking from the remains of a
table, causing her to lose her footing.
*CLONK*
And in one brief, sharp moment of pain, they both discovered
that they lacked the capacity for headbutting that the
Hibiki line carried so well.
The two immediately bounced off of each other, falling back
and landing roughly on their bottoms.
They couldn't help it.
The situation was that stupid.
They both began to laugh. The atmosphere suddenly seemed
lighter as the sound of their laughter filled the air.
Whimsical laughter, tired laughter, filled with a bit of
embarrassment and a lot of relief.
LOL!!!!!!!!
And then the moment passed.
"Owwww."
"I'll go get the ice packs, sugar."
* * *
A moment later, the two had found some intact chairs and
slumped into them.
Ukyou sighed. "Aw jeez, I'm sorry, Akane. I guess... I've
just been under a lot of stress lately, y'know?"
"Feeling better now?" asked Akane, a slight smile on her
face.
"Actually, yeah. Guess I just needed to blow off some
steam." The okonomiyaki chef slowly looked around the room
and groaned. "Wish I coulda found a better way of doin'it,
though."
"Yeah, no kidding," replied Akane. "Ukyou, can I ask you a
question?"
"Sure."
"What's really bothering you?"
"I..." Ukyou twiddled her fingers a bit, frowning.
Finally, she said, "It's not that I don't trust you or
anything. This is just really personal for me."
"Okay, I understand," said a resigned Akane. "But if you
ever need friends, you know we're here for you."
Ukyou smiled. "Yeah, I know. Thanks, Akane."
Ukyou stood up slowly, then began shuffling aside some
debris with her battle spatula. "I never thought we'd get
as bad as those two."
"Those two?"
"Ranchan and Ryouga. You know how they get."
Akane rolled her eyes. "Oh, those two. Hey, lemme help
you clean up."
"No, it's okay. This mess is my fault."
"No, I _insist_. This is my fault too, y'know."
"Well, if you put it that way... CATCH!"
Akane's eyes bulged as a large broom and dustpan flew at
her. "Eek!"
"Let's get to work!"
* * *
Ranma and Ryouga sulking? Peacefully? Together? This
sceen was more than enough to pique Nabiki's curiosity.
She sauntered into the dojo, walking that particular walk
that she knew made Saotome a little nervous. Much to her
delight, it also seemed to make Ryouga a little edgy.
"Hello boys," said Nabiki, her voice silky smooth. "You two
seem troubled. Anything I-"
"We're broke," they both said at the same time.
"What, am I that obvious?"
The boys nodded.
"Well, tell you what, since I'm terribly bored at the
moment, I'll let this one be a freebie. Now how about it?"
The two looked at each other for a moment, then at Nabiki in
a very unsure way.
"Well, okay," said Ranma.
Ryouga shrugged.
"It's Akane," said Ranma.
"And Ukyou."
"Oh my. You two get your girlfriends angry?"
Ryouga twitched, slightly. Ranma didn't seem to notice,
though it made Nabiki smile.
"Actually," said Ranma, "The girls started fighting."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "What'd you do this time, Ranma?"
"It ain't my fault every time, y'know," grumbled Ranma.
"And you two mighty martial artists didn't stop it?" mocked
Nabiki.
"We tried," said Ranma.
Ryouga nodded. "They threw us out."
"You peope go up against monsters, spirits, and ruthless
martial artists, but you get constantly beaten by the women.
One would think you guys have a fetish or something."
We'll not go into THAT fanfic cliche, thank you.
The boys stared at her blankly.
Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Oh, nevermind."
"So, what do ya think we should do?" asked Ranma.
"Well..."
* * *
The night found Ranma and Ryouga walking once more across
the streets of Nerima, albiet with some apprehension and
doubt.
"You think it'll really work?" asked Ryouga.
"I dunno," grumbled Ranma. "Maybe. I don't understand
girls."
"Me neither."
"Huh."
The two walked onward in silence a bit longer, Ranma
seemingly resigned to the fact that something bad was about
to happen, while Ryouga looked more puzzled than before.
"We're going to give Ukyou a going away party," said Ryouga.
"Yeah."
"And telling them this is supposed to make'em stop
fighting?"
Ranma shrugged. "That's what Nabiki said."
"That sounds like a stupid plan."
"Yeah, it does. Then again, it's Nabiki's plan."
"And Nabiki's smart," said Ryouga.
"So it's stupid, but it just might work."
"Yeah."
At last, the two arrived at the front of Ucchan's. There
was an ominous silence, outside and within. The bits of
broken chairs scattered at the door weren't an encouraging
sign.
"Looks dangerous," said Ranma.
Ryouga nodded. "Yeah."
"You go first."
"Ri- Wait a minute! Why me?!"
Ranma poked Ryouga on the arm. "Hey, you live here."
Ryouga retaliated with an elbow to the side. "Well you knew
them both longer than me!"
"Well you're the one dating the okonomiyaki nazi." Ranma
emphasised his counterpoint with a whap to the back of
Ryouga's head.
"We're not like that!" yelled Ryouga, leaping up and
driving an elbow into Ranma's head.
With a punch to the jaw, Ranma snarled, "It was just a
JOKE!"
"Cut it out, you jerk!" *WHAM*
"You started it, ya pig!" *POW*
* * *
Ukyou blinked "Hey, you hear something?"
Akane listened carefully. The sounds of angry yelling and
violence drifted in. "Sounds like... the boys."
"Fighting again."
"Those two never stop."
"Morons."
With a sigh, the two put down their cleaning supplies and
stepped through the door...
Something's comical about this scene.
* * *
"Guys!"
Ranma and Ryouga paused in their fighting, just as Ryouga
had Ranma in a headlock with Ranma's elbow poised to ram
into Ryouga's stomach.
Both looked up, very slowly.
"Um, Akane?"
"U-Ukyou?"
The two girls stood there, hands on hips, looking at them
with disdain.
"Will you two idiots cut it out?" said Ukyou.
Akane reached forward and yanked Ranma out of Ryouga's grip.
"Honestly, Ranma, stop picking on Ryouga."
"Hey, he started it!"
"I did not!"
*CLANG*
I expected a *WHAM* from Akane, not a *CLANG* from Ukyou...
"Ow! What'd you do that for?!"
"For being an idiot. I hope you two jackasses aren't like
this tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?" asked Ryouga.
"We're throwing a party!" said Akane cheerfully.
The boys looked at each other, clearly confused.
"A party?" asked Ranma.
Akane nodded. "A going-away party for Ukyou!"
Too funny for words.
The two boys exchanged another confused look.
"So, er, everything's okay?" asked Ranma.
"Okay? What are you talking about?"
"Ah... never mind."
Akane took Ranma by the hand, while Ukyou grabbed Ryouga's
sleeve.
"C'mon, boys," said Ukyou. "Help us clean up."
"Ranma?" whispered Ryouga. "What just happened?"
"Girls. I don't understand'em."
*WHAP*
-end part 1-
--
RST;G! a?16 d? e*- h! r++ s: t tv++ b+++>++++ w--- x+ C++ D? DI+ E--- G K+++
L++>+++ M+>- o O? P+ PE PGP-- PS+++ UL++++ V-- W- X- Y?;beka.thomas@yahoo_com
"Screw the energy. It's just pudding." -Orion:#afda
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