Miashara wrote:
DB Sommer wrote:
A fic.
Several, actually. ^_^
Miashara wrote C&C.
Four figures, moving silently as ghosts, cut a trail through the verdant
forest.
Of course, the huge chainsaws they used weren't that silent.
Malgaunt: Incorrect. Every one of the chainsaws had 'Stealthomatic 563'
chainsaw mufflers. Guarenteed to drop a 500 decible sound to .500 decibles.
We members of the Galaxy Police come prepared for anything...except
Mihoshi.
The fallen woman's eyes stared glassily towards some point in the sky
above,
marking it as a corpse.
The massive light saber wound across the chest and the blood weren't
enough.
It might have just been a flesh wound.
The wound she had suffered was obviously fatal.
Being as it is that she's dead and all.
Yeah. I think that line's going to go.
He had been satisfied with the current nature of their relationship,
The current nature of their relationship is she's dead and he's not. I
recomend changing 'the current' to 'what had been the'
Heh. Several people have corrected me on that. I wonder if it was those
unconscious necrophiliac tendencies coming out. ^_^
Neither of them would ever know the soft caress of affection from the
other.
Well, he could fix that partially. But I doubt she'd get anything out of
it.
So cold.
"Ah, Ariana. Why couldn't you have waited for us?"
That would have been the smart thing to do? The bad guys might have won?
Hey now. If Tenchi hadn't awakened, she'd have gotten them. She did ambush
Mihoshi, successfully after all, and that's what you're always telling them
to do. And it worked even too.
Obviously, we need to change tactics, and I think I've come up with just
the >solution."
"We design an elaborate and overly complex deathtrap. Then we throw them
in and leave, simply assuming that they'll die," Malguant spoke firmly.
"I have a gun. We could just shoot them from an ambush," Funuyaki
chipped in.
"No."
"Fine. I shoot one, you shoot the other. And if one's busting out with
bizarre and metaphysical powers, we have someone else shoot him from
behind."
"Silence you."
Yeah. Don't argue with the boss. Besides, up until the last few days his
record was around 110 to 3 in the win/loss catgegory. ^_^
That wasn't true, of course. They were playing for the greatest stakes of
all: Galactic Domination.
Call me mistress! Whipsh.
Doesn't anyone ever just want to rob a bank?
Sa'bre's done that sort of thing for years. It's time to move out of the
dead end bank robbing business and hit the big time.
He found himself wanting to talk to Autolycus and have the gray mound of
flesh spout off advice that Stargrave would either scoff at or consider.
As opposed to all those other options possible when someone gives you
advice.
Stagrave: Well, you could always shoot them outright and not do either. :P
We've got to be careful."
"Oh, we will. We will."
Miashara appears in the foliage with signalling flags. "Shoot them from
ambush!" He signs.
One problem. All it takes is one shot to miss, or go through one of the
targets at the wrong angle, or one of the targets gets a shot off, hits the
statis field, and it's "See you in hell' time, for Malgaunt and company.
Heck, if they only wound either Mihoshi or Tenchi same thing. Getting in
close and taking care of them, like they did on Tartarus, is the safest way
to do it.
It was time for an ending.
I'm sensing an message that there won't be too many more chapters.
I can only give so many red herrings, yes?
Nah.
Extra space before the line.
After reading the execution of the "perfect plan" I sighed. Deeply.
Expected and nicely written mind you, but even still.
Actually, it was a damn good plan on Malgaunt's part. If not for Fera
feeling she owed Mihoshi one and squealing on Malgaunt, Sa'bre and company
would be taking Yagdagron Spaceways on the way to victory.
Malgaunt's eyes scanned over everything. He watched as Tenchi drew closer
to Mihoshi, almost as though he would protect her from harm.
Then Sa'bre used his other gun and shot them both in the back.
He doesn't have another gun. And simply pointing his finger and going,
"bang, bang" isn't going to work. Even Mihoshi wouldn't fall for that one.
Can you see the approach I was rooting for? Am I being to subtle?
Yep. About as subtle as a kick to the groin. ^_^
"Why you," Onita started to growl
"I'm 004, Funuyaki Bond, Juraian Secret Service.
The Funuyaki scene was nice. Being as it was that she was my favorite
character, I think she died well.
Thanks. She at least tried to redeem herself in the end, which I think
readers might have figured out she was going to do by her general attitude
throughout the fic.
"The light hawk wings," Tenchi whispered under his breath as both he and
Mihoshi stared at them in awe.
I'm pretty sure thats in caps.
I haven't capitalized it so far, although you might be right. Anyone else
know for sure?
And never should brothers fight one another.
Except at the dinner table.
Or when they try to steal your girl. You can take a two by four to their
head if they try that.
I love vengefulled hatefests. Sa'bre's past is one of the better written
ones out there.
Thanks. I thought the reasons behind his driving need for revenge were
legtimate (assuming he was telling/ was told the truth) It's just his
methods of going about it that were completely skewed.
I can feel his contempt and disgust dripping. I'm also
sensing he joined the dark side of the force.
So you think he was using the Wings of the Dark Hawk, eh?
It would have been nice to have a brother, or grand nephew if what you
say is >true, I suppose."
I'm not seeing how Sa'bre could have extrapolated Tenchi's ancestory
>from what little T-boy said.
Tenchi said Azusa was his great-grandfather, which would make tenchi
Sa'bre's half grandnephew. Since most people wouldn't bother with the
'half' bit, there you have it.
"So what do we do now?" Tenchi asked
Thumb wrestling? Darts? Poker? Shoot craps?
Laser bazookas at two paces. Always a sight to behold, and you rarely need
a second shot.
It would be an even match.
Ah, the mythical fair fight.
Only in the form of raw power from the light hawk wings. When it comes to
skill and physical attributes, well, Sa'bre notes the differences between
him and Tenchi and admits it isn't exactly an even fight.
Come on, describe the swords a little more. "Elaborately designed
longswords" just isn't enough. I want graphic details.
Hmm. The one Tenchi uses in the anime didn't look all that fancy to me.
Still, it's been a while since I've seen that episode.
Now he had the sinking feeling that it was not going to be enough.
So he took five and had Kenshin come in as a replacement.
Kenshin with a Light Hawk Wing sword. Oh my. Note to spamficing self...
Now we see how you get your twisted ideas. ^_^
That ended any thoughts of trying to risk a shot at Mihoshi. He could see
the tension in her trigger finger. There was no way he could get a shot
off
without her firing into the stasis field. Likewise, there was no way she
could risk a shot at Malgaunt without him shooting Tenchi. A classic
Juraian Standoff.
A tumble weed rolled between them as the citizens ducked into the
Saloon. Behind them, a band began to play.
Malgaunt should have shot Mihoshi while she was lowering her gun. If
he's faster then her, and she wouldn't be expecting it, then he wins all
ways.
Nah. Mihoshi was still tense. She could have still brought her gun up high
enough that a stray shot could have hit the statis field. best to wait
until her gun is holstered, and nail her early even then.
"NOOO!" Tenchi cried out as Mihoshi's eyes closed and she fell limply to
the ground.
Isn't Tenchi-boy inconscious?
No. He came around just in time to see them get ready to start the duel.
Sigh. The guys I was rooting for lost.
Generally a bad idea to root for the bad guys. They rarely win.
Oh well. They were morons anyway.
Well, if Mihoshi was able to close her eyes, she didn't die flat out.
Nope.
Anyway, I'll be interested in the last chapter.
Will probably take a minimum of two weeks. I've been pretty busy and
there's a one shot I'm planning on writing first. Then I get to the
epilogue.
Thanks a lot for the C+C.
D.B. Sommer