DB Sommer wrote:
A fic.
Miashara wrote C&C.
Four figures, moving silently as ghosts, cut a trail through the verdant
forest.
Of course, the huge chainsaws they used weren't that silent.
The fallen woman's eyes stared glassily towards some point in the sky above,
marking it as a corpse.
The massive light saber wound across the chest and the blood weren't
enough.
The wound she had suffered was obviously fatal.
Being as it is that she's dead and all.
He had been satisfied with the current nature of their relationship,
The current nature of their relationship is she's dead and he's not. I
recomend changing 'the current' to 'what had been the'
Neither of them would ever know the soft caress of affection from the other.
Well, he could fix that partially. But I doubt she'd get anything out of
it.
"Ah, Ariana. Why couldn't you have waited for us?"
That would have been the smart thing to do? The bad guys might have won?
Obviously, we need to change tactics, and I think I've come up with just the >solution."
"We design an elaborate and overly complex deathtrap. Then we throw them
in and leave, simply assuming that they'll die," Malguant spoke firmly.
"I have a gun. We could just shoot them from an ambush," Funuyaki
chipped in.
"No."
"Fine. I shoot one, you shoot the other. And if one's busting out with
bizarre and metaphysical powers, we have someone else shoot him from
behind."
"Silence you."
That wasn't true, of course. They were playing for the greatest stakes of
all: Galactic Domination.
Call me mistress! Whipsh.
Doesn't anyone ever just want to rob a bank?
He found himself wanting to talk to Autolycus and have the gray mound of >flesh spout off advice that Stargrave would either scoff at or consider.
As opposed to all those other options possible when someone gives you
advice.
We've got to be careful."
"Oh, we will. We will."
Miashara appears in the foliage with signalling flags. "Shoot them from
ambush!" He signs.
It was time for an ending.
I'm sensing an message that there won't be too many more chapters. Nah.
Extra space before the line.
After reading the execution of the "perfect plan" I sighed. Deeply.
Expected and nicely written mind you, but even still.
Malgaunt's eyes scanned over everything. He watched as Tenchi drew closer
to Mihoshi, almost as though he would protect her from harm.
Then Sa'bre used his other gun and shot them both in the back.
Can you see the approach I was rooting for? Am I being to subtle?
"Why you," Onita started to growl
"I'm 004, Funuyaki Bond, Juraian Secret Service.
The Funuyaki scene was nice. Being as it was that she was my favorite
character, I think she died well.
"The light hawk wings," Tenchi whispered under his breath as both he and
Mihoshi stared at them in awe.
I'm pretty sure thats in caps.
And never should brothers fight one another.
Except at the dinner table.
I love vengefulled hatefests. Sa'bre's past is one of the better written
ones out there. I can feel his contempt and disgust dripping. I'm also
sensing he joined the dark side of the force.
It would have been nice to have a brother, or grand nephew if what you say is >true, I suppose."
I'm not seeing how Sa'bre could have extrapolated Tenchi's ancestory
from what little T-boy said.
"So what do we do now?" Tenchi asked
Thumb wrestling? Darts? Poker? Shoot craps?
It would be an even match.
Ah, the mythical fair fight.
Come on, describe the swords a little more. "Elaborately designed
longswords" just isn't enough. I want graphic details.
But now that there was a face to his enemy, and worse, Tenchi was family. >Sa'bre felt a sense of loss more than anything else.
Think you want a comma instead of the period.
Now he had the sinking feeling that it was not going to be enough.
So he took five and had Kenshin come in as a replacement.
Kenshin with a Light Hawk Wing sword. Oh my. Note to spamficing self...
That ended any thoughts of trying to risk a shot at Mihoshi. He could see
the tension in her trigger finger. There was no way he could get a shot off
without her firing into the stasis field. Likewise, there was no way she
could risk a shot at Malgaunt without him shooting Tenchi. A classic
Juraian Standoff.
A tumble weed rolled between them as the citizens ducked into the
Saloon. Behind them, a band began to play.
Malgaunt should have shot Mihoshi while she was lowering her gun. If
he's faster then her, and she wouldn't be expecting it, then he wins all
ways.
"NOOO!" Tenchi cried out as Mihoshi's eyes closed and she fell limply to
the ground.
Isn't Tenchi-boy inconscious?
Sigh. The guys I was rooting for lost. Oh well. They were morons anyway.
Well, if Mihoshi was able to close her eyes, she didn't die flat out.
Anyway, I'll be interested in the last chapter.
Miashara