Grammar comments snipped and stored away...
[...]
Surprised, Ranma released the other boy, who took a few moments to
recover. "So you finally figured it out? Wait, I thought you lost all
your proof." The little test Akira had arranged to 'prove' that Ranma's
curse affected his mind had ended with something of a disaster. Akane
had managed to knock him, a lie detector, and a series of photographs
into a mess on the floor.
Yes, yes, we've read the synopsis. :)
The synopsis was a last-minute addition. :P
We walked quickly out of sight, before Mrs. Za could think up any
errands for Rei to do while he was out.
Good thing that in Chinese, the family names come first; otherwise you'd
be facing damnation for the pun in this guy's name. :)
I'm sure you've noticed how I put Japanese family names first, too. ;)
I did give in and change Xian to Shan and Tsu to Su, though.
Bit I must say that I'm *insulted* that you'd suggest that I would make
a pun!
[...]
"You can keep me pinned here, but what makes you think you can take
me home?" He stared at me challengingly. "You haven't beaten me, yet."
The corner of her mouth turned up into a smirk.
His? You use male pronouns for nyu-Rei everywhere else.
Yeah, all references to Rei should have been masculine.
[...]
Akane barked, "And who's fault is that?"
whose
Ah, the joys of our regular language. [sigh]
[...]
I'm sorry to see this series go; it's been one of the funnier things out
there. But I guess it's not ending, merely moving on to something else.
I could hardly be called a prolific writer, and when I see how much having
multiple projects slow down other people, I decided to stick to one thing
at a time. ^_^;
So, since I want to finish another series, I figure, "Hey, I'll say I've
*finished* Curse, so technically it's not on hiatus!" ;) Although this
is a logical breakpoint, too.
(If that curse form we saw a glimpse of is a certain bass drum-pounding
rabbit, though, I'm gonna have to hurt ya.)
/me quietly slinks away.
The revelations of Akira's past were very interesting, though I think it
would've worked better to show them bit by bit over many chapters,
rather than keeping everything completely secret and dumping it on us in
one lump sum.
Well, I really only revealed one thing about Akira's past. He still has
a story or two left to tell. But later. :j The idea is to *not* make
him an Annoying New Character, ranting all about himself...
I wasn't completely happy about the flashback, though. I still think it
sounds way too self-insertish [shudder], but I couldn't get around using
the first person.
Thanks for the exceedingly fast response. I can hardly believe you had
time to read it, let alone comment(!)
Later,
Doug
----
Douglas MacDougall "You were nicer when you were evil.
http://www.dougmacd.net Cuter, too. Definitely more sexy!"