Subject: [FFML] Re: [Fanfic][Ranma] Centaur chapter 2.5: The Pineapples of Defeat
From: Vincent Seifert
Date: 2/14/2000, 12:42 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

On Mon, 14 Feb 2000, Gary Kleppe wrote:

Vincent Seifert <seifertv@ccshp1.ccs.csus.edu> wrote:

    What has gone before in "The Taming of the Horse": Ranma
began formally training Akane.  Ranma and Akane transferred to
St. Hebereke's School for Girls and made new friends there.
Cologne took Shampoo and Mousse back to China shortly before
Akane and Ranma's (successful) wedding.

Listen to the audio version at
<http://nabiki.newberry.edu/radioplay/project/taming_of_the_horse/index.html>...
as soon as Sean gets a cast together for it, that is....

What he said.  ;)

Mini-synopses added at the suggestion of Allyn Yonge; I hope they're more
helpful than obtrusive.
 
    "What's the big deal about Furinkan?  It's not like they
have much of a martial arts rhythmic gymnastics team...."  Ranma
gave Akane, up to her neck in steaming water on the other side of
the furo, a puzzled look.

    Akane returned him a worried look.  "Not that.  The match is

Suggest not repeating 'look.'

Well, actually that was intentional... didn't work for you, I take it.

    "Didn't you say Kasumi told you that we shouldn't do it in
the furo?"

    "Argh."

"Besides, the fade into the implied sex comes at the *end* of the
installment. Haven't you ever seen Hill Street Blues?" :)

heh, yup.  Just trying to be different.  :)
 
    "Thank you.  You're very kind.  Perhaps you'd like some
refreshment?"  Ranma noticed a covered platter on the end table
in the angle of the couches, along with a vase of flowers and a
tall Thermos bottle.  Kodachi lifted the cover, revealing an
assortment of goodies Ranma remembered from his encounter with a
smorgasbord.

    "Sure, thanks!"  A moment later, he was munching happily.
Kodachi poured some coffee from the Thermos into a demitasse and
sipped.  "Aren't you gonna have some?"

That's a little stupid even for Ranma. :)

I know.  It's an application of Takahashi's First Law: characters can be
as dense as necessary to get them into hilarious hijinx.  :)  But he does
know better than to eat Kodachi's cuisine; he thought these were takeout
from the place they went to in Taming 7, and jumped to the correct
conclusion (more or less) just as soon as he realized they were homemade.

    This time "drat" just didn't cover it.  *His will is so
strong, to resist the drug so!*  For a moment Kodachi considered
suggesting to Ranma that she was Akane, but then her pride tore
the notion down and trampled on it; that way lay utter defeat.

Hey, Asuka would've done it. :)

Reference escapes me, sorry... Asuka from NGE?  I haven't seen that yet.

    "Hi-hi, Kasumi-oneechan," Ranma said brightly.  "I'm a
horse, deer."

    Kasumi sweatdropped.  "My, he's certainly under the
influence of something," she commented.

Pun dulse, probably.

I figure he's just giving in to that instinct for higher humor that all of
us have, but only the lucky few (such as yourself) are able to express,
er, properly.  :)

    Still smiling, Ranma shook her head.  "You don't want to do
that.  I had a hell of a time talking her out of taking last
night out of your hide.

Kind of an awkward line there.

I'll work on it.
 
    "You egomaniac," Akane said fondly.  "That's why I didn't
want to say it; I knew your head would get all swelled."  She
took a breath and managed to look serious again.  "But I do.
Most of the time we're out in public together, you're a woman.  I
just want people to see what a catch I landed."

    "Yeah... so do I."  Ranma blushed and looked away, hand to
the back of her head.

"Really?"

"Sure! Of COURSE I want people to see what a catch you've landed,
Akane!"

heh.  Yes, that misunderstanding was waiting in the wings, begging for a
chance to go on, but I managed to hold it back.  :) 

    "Sure," Ranma said.  "Look, no sensei's gonna take a student
who doesn't at least have some promise.  You guys are almost
seniors and you're getting magazines all sweaty instead of
getting some, heh, hands-on experience.  Pathetic."

    The two youths struck determined poses.  "Sensei, we will
make you proud of us!"

The upshot of this is, they still won't score, but now Ranma can get
blamed for the trouble they get into.

Yup.  I don't think I developed that thread as well as I could have, so if
I think of a way to expand on it in a subsequent draft, I will.  It may
even show up in another chapter; that seems to happen to me...
 
    "Gimme a break.  And she wears her hair just like mine,
right?"

    "Even so, although the style suits her divine tresses far
better than it does thy mangy pelt--"

    "But she's not me, right?"

    "Dost thou take me for a fool?" Tatewaki fumed.  "'Tis
impossible!  Thou art male, though a knave rather than a true
man, and she is as fair a flower as has ever graced the name of
woman!  Enough of thy japery!"  He stalked away.

TOMOE: "She and he the same person? We never *thought* of that! It
explains *everything!*"

Well, that's the rumor they heard, of course, so Ranma's not risking
anything by planting the idea; he's trying to chop it down.  :)

    "Can't make da kine omelet without crackin' one coconut,
bruddah!" Kuno-kocho added smugly.

He's got a way with words, he has. :)

Well, I figured you'd think so.  :)

    Kuno, slumped forward, sat up suddenly.  "Fighting spirit!
Dat's it!"  He turned to the little teacher.  "Listen, Miss
Hinako!  Dey not playing fair, no no!  Dey all delinquents!"

    "Kocho!"  Hinako looked flabbergasted.  "No!"

    "Yeah!  Dey cheatin' like one mongoose!  You gotta punish
'em, yeah!"

I'm surprised da kahuna *hasn't* done more to cheat. Why isn't the field
seeded with land mines or something?

Excellent question.  The real reason is because *I* didn't think of
it, of course.  I read the Kuno-kocho stories in the manga before I
wrote this chapter, but I still don't have a good handle on his
infuriatingly loony creative genius.  Hmm.  Hmm hmm hmm...

    "Dey gotta be!  No way dey win so easy, except dey cheatin'!
And keikis who cheat, dey's delinquents!"

Should be just keiki, I think.

I'll look up Hawaiian plural forms and get back to you on that.

    Akane tore open the envelope and pulled out a hand-sized box
with a short antenna, an on-off switch, and a large red button.
"'Crafted with pride by St. Hebereke's Electronics and Chemistry
Clubs'," she read off the back.  "You don't suppose?"

    "Push the button, Akane," Ranma said, grinning.

"I will."

"Just push the button!"

"I WILL push the button."

"Make one of these...."

"I will."

Darn.  Another over-my-head reference... but then, the reference *I* was
making, to "The Great Race" ("Push the button, Max!") is probably too
obscure these days...

    Akane switched the device on, walked to the nearest door,
and pushed the button.

    From somewhere above came a muffled explosion and a receding
cry of "Auwe!"  A few moments later, shredded bits of grass shack
began to rain out of the sky.

Actually, I think the Principal would be laughing hysterically at this.
He likes a good joke, even when it's on him. :) Besides, think of all
the students who'll have to work overtime fixing his office.

Good point.  How about a receding cry of "Auwe!" followed by hysterical
laughter, then?

A fun read, as always. I still think da kahuna should've been able to
throw a lot more at Ranma -- especially considering that he was on his
home base and had had time to prepare -- but apart from that, excellent
characterization. Keep 'em coming! :)

Thanks, I'll do my best-- and thanks for helping me out with it!

Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html

Vince Seifert    Fanfic Analyst   FFIRC Frog
Prime:  seifertv@csus.edu
Backup: seifertv@myrealbox.com
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
Ideas are worth their weight in gold.




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