What has gone before in "The Taming of the Horse": Ranma
began formally training Akane.  Ranma and Akane transferred to
St. Hebereke's School for Girls and made new friends there.
Cologne took Shampoo and Mousse back to China shortly before
Akane and Ranma's (successful) wedding.

     Previously in "Centaur": Akane and Ranma, joined by their
St. H friends, seceded from Kodachi's gymnastics team to form a
rival team, with Akane as captain.  Hasegawa-sensei, the gym
coach, decreed that playoff matches between the teams would
decide which team would represent the school in meets with other
schools.  Team Akane won the last playoff.

     This chapter follows Centaur chapter 2 and precedes chapters 3 and 4,
which have already been released.  Sorry, this is the order I wrote tehm
in!  :)

     ~~~~~

     This chapter is for fellow Kodachi-fan Bert Miller, and for
the people who wanted to know what happened at the Furinkan meet.
(I hadn't originally intended to write this, actually.  :)

     Thanks to June Geraci and Dave Roeder for ideas and support.

     Thanks to Dave Roeder and Darniil Entroth for prereading.

     ~~~~~

Centaur

a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Vince Seifert (seifertv@csus.edu)

Webpage: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/

Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are copyright 1987, 2000
by Takahashi Rumiko.  Publishing rights (Japan) by Shogakukan
Inc.  Publishing rights (North America) by Viz Inc.  This work
is not intended to infringe those rights.

Chapter 2.5: The Pineapples of Defeat

     ~~~~~

     "What's the big deal about Furinkan?  It's not like they
have much of a martial arts rhythmic gymnastics team...."  Ranma
gave Akane, up to her neck in steaming water on the other side of
the furo, a puzzled look.

     Akane returned him a worried look.  "Not that.  The match is
at Furinkan.  Just about everyone at Furinkan knows you're really
a guy.  Girls from St. Hebereke's will come to see the match.
They'll... talk."

     "Well, of course they'll talk," Ranma said, smirking.
"That's what girls DO, mostly."

     "They'll tell our schoolmates that you're really a guy!"

     Ranma's smirk disappeared faster than a spooked lizard.
"Oh, crap."

     "Baka, baka, baka," Akane said, thumping herself on the
forehead.  She noticed Ranma's annoyed frown.  "Not you, me.
Well, you too; you didn't notice either.  Our team worked so hard
to beat Kodachi's team so we'd get to go to the match... but if
I'd noticed that the match was against Furinkan, I would have
just let Kodachi have it and tried for the next one.  What a
waste."

     Ranma frowned again.  "What, forfeited?  Hasegawa-sensei
wouldn't like that."

     "I suppose not."  Akane chewed on her lip.  "Well, I'll talk
to Kodachi tomorrow about taking the match.  Maybe she'll do
it...."

     "Okay.  In the meantime, loosen up.  Come over here and I'll
rub your back."

     "Mmmm... will you rub my front, too?"

     "Uh...."

     "What?!"

     "Didn't you say Kasumi told you that we shouldn't do it in
the furo?"

     "Argh."

     ~~~~~

     The next day at gym practice, Akane steeled herself and
walked over to Kodachi.  "Um, Kodachi-kun...."

     "What do you want, Tendo?" Kodachi asked coldly, eyeing
Akane with distaste.

     Akane almost retorted "That's 'Saotome' to you!" but managed
not to.  "We've decided to let your team have this next match."

     Kodachi's eyes narrowed.  "How very generous of you.  What
inspired this sudden change of heart?"

     "Like you said, generosity," Akane said carelessly, praying
that Kodachi wouldn't realize the real reason.  "Look, do you
want the match or not?"

     A smile crept onto Kodachi's lips.  "Oh, I don't know," she
said lightly.  She swept her gaze over her team, practicing
without much enthusiasm, then returned it to Akane.  "My poor
colleagues are still broken in spirit from their crushing
defeat."

     Privately, Akane thought that all the girls on Kodachi's
team were broken in spirit all the time, but she managed not to
say that either.  "Well, if you were half the captain you think
you are, you'd be able to fix that in no time," she said instead.

     Kodachi's smile didn't falter.  "Perhaps.  Nevertheless, I
decline your offer... unless...."  She watched Akane carefully.

     "Unless what?" Akane asked, a little too eagerly.

     "Send Ranma-sama to ask me, and I'll consider it."

     "Ranma?  She's got nothing to do with it!  I'm the team
captain!" Akane protested.

     "So delegate this little task to that member of your team,"
Kodachi said, shrugging.  "Unless Ranma-sama makes the request,
my answer is 'no'."

     Akane dithered for a moment, torn.  "All right," she said
finally, and dashed off.

     Smiling, Kodachi watched her go.  *So.  They want something
from me again.  Excellent.*

     Akane came back in a couple of minutes, accompanied by
Ranma.  "Akane says you want me to ask you to take the match,"
she said without preamble.

     "Indeed.  Come, Ranma-sama, let us retire to where we shall
not be overheard," Kodachi said, nodding to the bleachers.  She
glanced at Akane.  "Tendo, you will remain behind."

     "Kodachi--" Akane began, clenching her fists.

     "I insist," Kodachi interrupted her.  She examined her
nails.  "Or is your hold upon Ranma-sama so weak that you fear
losing him to a few private words?  Oh, if only I were so
persuasive."

     Akane gritted her teeth.  "All right," she spat.  She gave
Ranma a vexed look and marched away.

     Kodachi turned her attention to Ranma, ignoring the
pigtailed girl's annoyed expression.  "Please follow me, Ranma-
sama."  She ran up the bleachers and seated herself on the top
row, gracefully folding her long, sleek legs to present an
attractive aspect.

     Ranma plopped herself down on the bench seat a comfortable
distance away.  "That wasn't nice," she said darkly, carefully
not looking at Kodachi's legs.

     "You have no idea how nice I can be, Ranma-sama...."

     "Not gonna find out, either," Ranma muttered.  "So, you
wanted me to ask you to take the match.   Well, I'm askin'."

     "Well, I'll think about it.  And I'll even give you a chance
to persuade me to do as you ask.  Come to my home tonight after
dinner, unaccompanied, and we'll discuss the matter."

     "Urk."  Ranma suddenly looked very nervous.  "Uh, lemme
check with Akane on that," she said, getting up.

     "Oh, Ranma-sama, how wonderfully domesticated you are!"
Kodachi exclaimed.

     Ranma, crouching to leap down the bleachers, froze.  "Say
what?" she demanded, turning to face Kodachi again.

     "Running off to consult your wi--, wi--, er, companion on
every little thing!" Kodachi gushed.  "Oh, it's the dream of
every lesser woman to have such a husband as you, one with no
will of his own, who tells her every detail of his life, who
meekly lets her make up his mind for him--"

     "Now wait just a damn minute!  I can make up my own mind!"

     Kodachi smiled like a snake and struck.  "Then you'll come
tonight?"

     "Yeah!"

     "Splendid," Kodachi said with satisfaction.  "I'll expect
you around eight."  She stood to go.  "You may tell your captain
that I'm still thinking about it."

     Ranma dazedly watched her dance down the bleachers,
wondering what had just happened.  She took another path down the
stepped seats to where Akane waited.  "Well?" Akane demanded.

     "She says she's thinking about it," Ranma said weakly.

     "Well, that's better than 'no', I guess.  Good work, Ranma."

     "Sure...."

     ~~~~~

     "I'm goin' out for a bit," Ranma told Akane casually after
dinner.

     "What?"  Akane looked surprised.  "Why?  Where?"

     "Jeez, what's with all the questions?" Ranma protested.
"Just out.  You gotta be with me every minute of every day?"

     *Yes!* Akane thought.  "No...."  It occurred to her that,
buddies or not, married or not, she'd like a little private time
now and then herself... and if she did, how must Ranma be
feeling?  Nodoka had spoken of this, and how to deal with it;
since Ranma didn't appear to planning a ten-year training trip,
the advice seemed sound.  "All right.  I guess maybe I've been a
bit clingy."  Ranma flinched, but she didn't notice.  "I said I
would try to trust you more."  Ranma flinched again.  She walked
up to him, rose up on her tiptoes, and kissed him on the cheek.
"Hurry back," she whispered, smiling.

     That was too much for Ranma.  "I can't do it," he muttered,
staring at his toes.

     Akane gave him a puzzled look.  "Can't do what?"

     "I was gonna go to Kodachi's place," he confessed, looking
up guiltily.

     Akane's head was lowered and she was standing very still.
"Explain."

     "Huh?"

     "I promised I would listen to your explanations, and try to
believe you," Akane said in a very controlled voice.  "So
explain.  Fast."

     "Kodachi said she wanted me to come over to talk her into
taking the match," Ranma said.  "I was gonna check with you, but
then she said I was... domesticated."

     Akane almost snickered at the sudden image of Ranma wearing
a saddle and bridle, but managed to turn it into a snort.
"Domesticated?  You?  Nonsense."

     "She said I couldn't make my own decisions...."

     "So of course you did, just to show her," Akane said,
nodding.

     "Yeah.  But when you said you trusted me, and looked at me
like that, I just couldn't.  Go ahead an' hit me."

     "No," Akane said slowly.  "I'm angry that you were planning
to go without telling me, but I'm glad that you didn't.  I'm not
going to punish you for doing the right thing, even though you
started out to do the wrong thing."  She looked up.  "Just don't
forget your promises while you're there."

     Ranma boggled.  "Huh?  You mean it's all right with you?"

     Akane half-smiled.  "'All right' is not the way I'd put it.
But you made your decision, and I said I'd trust you, so I'm not
going to stop you."

     Ranma eyed Akane dubiously.  "All right, who are you and
what have you done with Akane?"

     Akane sighed noisily and ran her fingers through her bangs.
"Ranma, I'm having a hard time keeping myself from pounding you
flat, screaming at you, and chaining you to the floor--"

     "Now THAT'S my Akane."

     "--but after I realized that I'd been unfair to you all
along, I vowed I would try to be a better wife to you."  She
patted him on the cheek she'd kissed and gazed up at him
seriously.  "Be a good husband."

     "I will," Ranma said firmly.  He left quickly with a
determined look on his face.  Akane waited until he was gone and
then examined her hand, selected a fingernail, and started
chewing.

     ~~~~~

     "Do sit down, Ranma-sama," Kodachi invited him.  She
gestured with one silk-clad arm; she was wearing a sort of black
kimono with her customary rose pattern, but the sleeves were
narrower than usual and the obi was just a simple tie-sash.

     Ranma eyed the seats available in the cozy room: a long
couch and a shorter couch, but no chairs.  He sat at one end of
the longer couch, leaving plenty of room, but Kodachi sat next to
him, trapping him against the arm of the couch.  "Urk."

     "So here we are," Kodachi said, giving Ranma a smoldering
sidelong glance.

     "Yeah.  So, uh, about the match... what's the problem?  I'd
think you'd be glad to take it."

     "Perhaps," Kodachi said lightly.  "As I told that person, my
team is still demoralized.  They would not be at their best for
the match."

     Ranma cocked an eyebrow.  "So?  Since when does your team
fight a match?  You don't look demoralized."

     "No?  It's very kind of you to say so, Ranma-sama, but in
truth my spirits are quite low."  Kodachi sighed dramatically.
"After the way you rejected me so forcefully at our last
encounter....  You really were very cruel.  The situation was so
embarrassing."

     Ranma grimaced.  Even though she'd tied him to a bed,
paralyzed and wearing a towel, to be discovered tied to a bed
wearing a chain mail bikini was....  "Yeah, I guess so.  Sorry
about that."

     "I forgive you, Ranma-sama.  At least you were kind enough
to inform Yuriko-kun rather than... mmm... less sympathetic
individuals."

     "It was the least I could do," Ranma muttered, looking at
the floor between his knees.

     "Yes, or very close to it," Kodachi said in a slightly edged
voice.  "I had hoped for so much more.  I still do.  A hug, a
kiss, to be swept up in transports of ecstacy...."

     "Well, you're not going to get it," Ranma said firmly.  "I
wish you'd quit tryin'."

     "We have discussed this before, Ranma-sama."  Kodachi
acquired a nostalgic look.  "Oh, that was such a fine evening...
it lives brightly in my memory still."  She turned a little on
the couch to face him more directly.  "You touched parts of me
that had been sleeping for a long time that night, you know."

     "I what?  I didn't!  I didn't hardly touch you at all!"
Ranma protested.

     Kodachi smiled briefly.  "No, alas not.  But for a while I
was able to be myself, free of the constraints imposed on me by
my minions and my roles."

     "Yeah...."  Ranma remembered Kodachi's face without the
haughty sneer or false archness... and noticed that Kodachi was
showing him that same face again.

     "I think you liked me then, a little.  Those moments are
precious to me, and they redoubled my desire for you."

     "I don't hate you, Kodachi," Ranma said uncomfortably.  "I
just wish you'd quit pushin' at me."

     "As I am now, you mean?  I regret the necessity.  But to one
who does not ask, the answer is never 'yes'.  You know what I
want."

     "Yeah.  But it belongs to Akane.  Sorry."

     Kodachi flinched and turned her face away.  "It pained me
greatly to awaken, tied to a post by my own ribbon, and be told
that you were ma-married and gone," she said in a low voice.  "I
wept bitter tears that night, imagining what was happening to
you."

     "I'll bet you didn't imagine the ghost," Ranma muttered.

     "I beg your pardon?"

     "Nothin'."

     "I had so hoped to be your first," Kodachi said with a
woeful sigh.  "But I am willing, even eager, to be your second."

     "Urk."

     Kodachi turned to face him again and seized his hand.
"Think about it, Ranma-sama," she urged him, gazing imploringly
into his eyes.  "At the time you were wed, I am sure you had
sampled none of your fiancees' charms.  Was this wise?  You chose
one without knowing any of the others.  You owe me a chance!
Give me one night, or even a few hours, to prove that I am a
better lover than-- than that person!"

     "Yeep!"  Ranma snatched his hand from Kodachi's grasp and
cringed away with a horrified expression.  "Is that what it would
take to, uh, persuade you?"

     Kodachi nodded happily.

     "No way," Ranma said, shaking his head for emphasis, but
part of him couldn't help noticing how lovely and passionate
Kodachi was, and wondering how she compared to Akane.  The rest
of him quickly gave it a mental malleting.

     Kodachi's eyes filled with tears, and her proud head
drooped.  "Alas, I am rejected again," she said brokenly,
producing a handkerchief and dabbing at her eyes.  She arose from
the couch, stepped around the coffee-table to the other couch,
and seated herself there.  "Please stay for a while and console
me with conversation, Ranma-sama...."

     "Sure," Ranma said, still quivering a little.  "No harm in
that."

     "Thank you.  You're very kind.  Perhaps you'd like some
refreshment?"  Ranma noticed a covered platter on the end table
in the angle of the couches, along with a vase of flowers and a
tall Thermos bottle.  Kodachi lifted the cover, revealing an
assortment of goodies Ranma remembered from his encounter with a
smorgasbord.

     "Sure, thanks!"  A moment later, he was munching happily.
Kodachi poured some coffee from the Thermos into a demitasse and
sipped.  "Aren't you gonna have some?"

     "I'm not hungry, Ranma-sama," Kodachi said.

     Ranma shrugged.  "Okay.  These taste a little funny," he
said, licking his fingers.

     "Are they unpalatable?"

     "Nah, they're fine, just a little different."

     "I'm so glad.  I made them myself."

     Ranma froze.  He looked at his fingers.  He looked at the
platter.  He looked at Kodachi.  "Oh, crap.  Sleep or paralysis?"

     Kodachi looked hurt.  "Neither one, darling.  Not after
their shortcomings were so clearly demonstrated."  She put down
the demitasse.

     "Oh.  Sorry," Ranma said, relaxing.

     "No, I employed a very expensive and difficult-to-acquire
compound," Kodachi continued, examining her fingernails.  "It
merely renders one... open to suggestion."

     "Urk."  Ranma froze for a crucial instant, then bounced to
his feet and headed for the door.

     "You really don't want to leave, Ranma-sama."  Kodachi's
silky voice sounded so reasonable, so compelling....

     Ranma paused, frowning at his hand on the doorknob, then
straightened.  "Don't want to leave," he murmured.

     "I would have much preferred for you to accept my earlier
offer," Kodachi said petulantly, "but you left me no
alternative."

     "...I guess not."

     Kodachi looked up and smiled.  "Now, darling, promise me you
won't go running away this time," she told Ranma.

     "No running away," Ranma agreed.

     "Excellent.  Wouldn't you like to come back here and sit
down?"  Ranma nodded as though the idea had just occurred to him,
returned to the couch, and resumed his seat.  Kodachi leaned
across the arm of the couch, making sure she displayed a hint of
cleavage, and gazed soulfully into his rather vague eyes.  "Now
say you love me, Ranma-sama."

     Ranma shrugged.  "You love me, Ranma-sama."

     Kodachi made a moue and tried again.  "Tell me 'I love you,
Kodachi.'"

     "Uh... I love you, Kodachi."  His tone wasn't exactly
ardent, but it was close enough.  Kodachi clapped her hands in
delight.

     "Oh, Ranma-sama, we're going to have such fun!"

     "We're going to have such fun," Ranma said obligingly.

     "Oh, yes."  Kodachi stood up and went to one corner of the
room.  One adjacent wall was a curtain running right across the
room; she tugged on a cord and the curtain swept aside, revealing
a four-poster bed with the covers invitingly turned down.  She
undid her sash and opened the front of her kimono, then let it
slide from her shoulders and drop.  "Tell me how I look, Ranma-
sama," she commanded, posing.

     Ranma's gaze traced over the taut curves of Kodachi's body,
easily visible though the translucent fabric of the long black
negligee she wore, decorated with black-rose lace.  "Nice legs,"
he said admiringly.

     Kodachi clasped her hands beside her blushing cheek.  "Oh,
Ranma-sama, this is a dream come true!  Please come here,
darling."  Ranma complied, only a little unsteadily.  "Now kiss
me," she whispered, flowing up against his muscular chest.

     Ranma balked. "Akane wouldn't like that," he muttered.

     "Drat," Kodachi said under her breath, stamping a foot, then
addressed Ranma again.  "Listen to me, darling.  This is all
right with Ak-- Akane.  She wants you to persuade me to take the
match.  She sent you here.  She wants you to kiss me."

     Ranma still looked uncertain.  "Well... okay."  He bent his
head a little as Kodachi turned her face up, closing her eyes.
Their lips met for a long moment.

     "Oh, my," Kodachi breathed, swaying a little on knees that
had suddenly gone weak.  "Please embrace me, darling, and then
kiss me again."  He did.  This time Kodachi's knees gave out
entirely, but Ranma kept her from falling.

     "Oh, Ranma-sama, you kiss like a young god come to earth for
dalliance!" she exclaimed.  "I beg you, sweep me up in your
strong arms!"  Ranma complied, with ease that inspired the
unpleasant little thought that he'd done it many times before.
*Ah, well, there's something to be said for experience,* Kodachi
thought.  She twined her arms around his neck and buried her face
in the juncture of his neck and shoulder.  "Now take me to bed
and make love to me," she whispered, blushing.

     "Uh-uh."  Ranma's response crashed rudely in on her advance
fantasies.  "I'm damn sure Akane wouldn't want me to do THAT."

     This time "drat" just didn't cover it.  *His will is so
strong, to resist the drug so!*  For a moment Kodachi considered
suggesting to Ranma that she was Akane, but then her pride tore
the notion down and trampled on it; that way lay utter defeat.
She decided to console herself with what pleasures were
attainable.  "Twirl me once around, darling, and kiss me again,"
she suggested hopefully.

     Ranma pivoted obediently.  Kodachi's foot caught the vase on
the coffee table, knocking it into the air.  A splash of cold
water laced with flowers fell on Ranma just as he kissed Kodachi.

     ~~~~~

     Kuno Tatewaki, passing in the hallway, heard a sound to stir
the blood of any man: "KYAAAAAAAAAAA!"

     "A damsel in distress!" he shouted, charging down the hall.
"I shall rescue thee, dear sister!"  He twisted at the doorknob,
but the door was locked.  Well, a hero knew the answer to that!
He set his shoulder to the door and crashed through, then blinked
in astonishment.

     Kodachi, clad in a flowing negligee and wiping her mouth
with her hand, blinked back at him.  She was being held cradled
in the arms of-- the pigtailed girl!

     "Pigtailed girl!" Kuno shouted, flinging his arms wide.  "My
heart swells with joy at thy sweet presence!  Come to my bosom!"

     "Okay," the pigtailed girl agreed, dropping Kodachi on her
rear with a thump and stepping over her.  Tatewaki embraced her
warmly.

     Suddenly he smelled coffee and became aware that the wench
in his arms was rather taller and flatter than she'd started out
to be.  He looked, gasped, and sprang back.  "The sorcerer
Saotome!"

     "Sorcerer Saotome," Ranma parroted, ignoring the coffee
trickling off his head from the Thermos in Kodachi's hands.

     Kuno brought his bokken to bear with one hand and swung the
other around to knock his sister to safety.  The Thermos sailed
across the room, and Kodachi bounced over the big bed with a
squawk and disappeared behind it.  "Villain!" Kuno shouted.  "Get
thee gone at once!"

     "I'm gone," Ranma said cheerfully.  Zing!  In the blink of
an eye he was out the door and away.

     Kuno's eyebrows drew down and his bokken lowered.  "Coward,"
he scoffed.

     "YOU INCREDIBLE IDIOT!"

     Kuno turned to see his sister... indeed, rather more of his
sister than he was accustomed to see.  "Kodachi, thy apparel is
hardly suitable for this circumstance," he chided her.

     "It WAS PERFECT for this circumstance!  I had him RIGHT
where I wanted him, and YOU let him ESCAPE!  IDIOT!"  Kodachi
scooped up a couple of clubs from the floor and advanced.  "Dear
brother," she crooned, "how shall I express my displeasure?"

     Whackity-whackity-whack!  "Oh-hohohoho!"  POW!

     ~~~~~

     "Hi, honey, I'm home!"

     Akane came galloping down the stairs at the call, looking
glad but a little surprised.  "'Honey'?  Ranma, what--"  She
caught sight of him and blinked.  "Lipstick?!"

     "Lipstick?" Ranma said, still smiling.

     "Ranma, tell me the truth!  Don't lie to me!  Did you kiss
Kodachi?" Akane demanded.

     "Yup," Ranma said matter-of-factly.

     SLAP!  "RANMA, YOU BAKA!!"

     "Yup, I'm a baka," Ranma agreed, getting up with one cheek
already beginning to swell.  "Whinny!"  He paused, looking
puzzled.  "Say, what kinda noise does a deer make, anyway?"

     Akane's jaw dropped.  "Ranma, are you DRUNK?!"  She grabbed
him by the front of the shirt and sniffed his face.  "Coffee?"

     "Not drunk," Ranma said firmly.  "Drugged.  Whee!"

     Akane's eyes widened.  She turned her head.  "Kasumi!  Come
quick!" she called down the hall.  "Something's wrong with
Ranma!"

     "Wrong, wrong, wrong," Ranma intoned on a falling scale.

     Kasumi came around the corner in a hurry.  "Akane?"

     "Well, look at him!"  Akane held Ranma out towards Kasumi by
his shirt.

     "Hi-hi, Kasumi-oneechan," Ranma said brightly.  "I'm a
horse, deer."

     Kasumi sweatdropped.  "My, he's certainly under the
influence of something," she commented.

     "Under the influence," Ranma repeated.

     "I asked him if he kissed Kodachi, and he TOLD me!" Akane
wailed.

     "Goodness, that IS unusual," Kasumi agreed.  "Maybe some
sort of truth drug or hypnotic?  Have you tried asking him any
other questions?"

     "Questions?"

     "Shut up, Ranma.  No, but I'm sure going to," Akane said
grimly to Kasumi.  She addressed her husband again.  "Did you
enjoy kissing Kodachi?"

     Ranma stood mute... or, rather, hung mute.

     "Answer me!" Akane snarled, shaking him.

     "Yeah.  She said I kissed like a young god," he said
reflectively.  "I wonder which young god she kissed."

     "You BAKA!"

     "Hmm," Kasumi observed.  "He does what you tell him to."

     "I told him to tell me the truth," Akane said, catching on.
She paled.  "If he was doing what Kodachi told him to... oh, no!
Ranma, did Kodachi tell you to, um, make love to her?"  She held
her breath.

     "Yeah," Ranma said in surprise.  "How'd you know?"

     "Eeeee!"  Akane stopped shaking Ranma, looking like she was
about to faint.

     "Akane, I don't think you should ask questions you don't
want to know the answers to," Kasumi said reprovingly.

     "I don't LIKE the answers, but I sure want to know them,"
Akane growled.  She paused, gathering her courage.  "Did... DID
you make love to Kodachi?"

     "Nope."

     Akane and Kasumi exchanged glances that were both relieved
and perplexed.  "Why not?" Akane asked.

     "'Cause I love you.  Jeez, what a dumb question."

     Akane's expression softened.  "Ranma...."

     "Perhaps you should leave it at that," Kasumi suggested
diplomatically.

     "Not a chance."  Akane turned back to Ranma.  "Do... do you
love anyone else but me?"

     "Well, sure."

     "Aaaa!" Akane wailed.

     "Ranma, who else do you love?" Kasumi asked quickly.

     "Well, there's Momma," Ranma replied.  Akane perked up.
"And I like you a lot, Kasumi-oneechan."

     "Oh, my," Kasumi said faintly, blushing.

     "And I'm kinda fond of Pops, even if he is a lazy pain in
the butt."

     Akane snickered, feeling much better.  "Do you love
Kodachi?"

     "No way," Ranma said indignantly.

     Akane nodded, satisfied.  "I think that's enough," she said,
setting Ranma back on his feet.

     "Enough," Ranma agreed.

     "Hmm.  On the other hand, this is a real opportunity," Akane
said, eyeing Ranma with speculation.

     Kasumi caught her arm.  "Don't," she said urgently.  "He may
remember this afterward, or the suggestions made may have
permanent effects.  He needs to be protected until it wears off."

     "Oh.  I suppose you're right," Akane said.  She looked
frustrated.  "Darn.  Well, I guess we'll turn in early, then."
She got the speculative look again.  "Hmmm...."

     "Akane...."

     "All right, all right," Akane said petulantly.  "You're no
fun at all, Onee-chan.  Come on, Ranma, let's get you cleaned up
and then go to bed."

     "Time for bed," Ranma said happily, following Akane.

     ~~~~~

     Upon leaving the locker room at the beginning of gym period
the next day, Ranma headed straight for Kodachi.  "Let's talk,"
she said when she reached the taller girl.  "In private."

     No one could have mistaken Ranma's smile for a pleasant
expression, but Kodachi tried.  "Oh, Ranma-sama, I thought you'd
never ask!"

     Ranma's chilly demeanor altered only enough to allow
impatience to register.

     "This way," Kodachi said haughtily.  She led Ranma out of
the gymnasium, noticing that Akane's gaze flicked up as they
passed but that Akane did not comment, change expression, or
follow.  "Now, what was it you wished to discuss?" Kodachi said
when they were outside.  "Our next rendezvous, perhaps?"

     Ranma sighed.  "Give it a rest, Kodachi.  I'm here to tell
you that in a minute you're going to go with Akane to Hasegawa-
sensei's office and agree to take the Furinkan match."

     "You dare give me commands?" Kodachi sniffed, arching an
eyebrow.

     "It's not a command," Ranma said evenly.  "That's your
thing.  I'm just telling you what's going to happen."

     "You are a man of many talents, Ranma-sama; I hadn't known
that fortune-teller was among them."  Kodachi paused.  "Why are
you the one telling me this, and not your captain?"

     "She delegated it to me."

     "Interesting.  Well, I am not satisfied with the outcome of
our little chat last night.  I decline her request."

     Still smiling, Ranma shook her head.  "You don't want to do
that.  I had a hell of a time talking her out of taking last
night out of your hide.  If you don't agree, she will."

     "Nonsense," Kodachi scoffed.  "I don't fear her puny threats
in the least."

     "Well, you should.  She can hurt you just as bad as she
wants to any time she wants to, and you just gave her an excuse."

     "Oh-ho-ho--"  Slap!  Kodachi hadn't even seen Ranma's hand
move, but the sound and the pain in her cheek left no doubt what
had happened.  Ranma had put little force into the blow, but its
significance was unmistakeable.

     "So can I, Kodachi.  I'm a girl, and smaller than you, so
I'm not the one who has to worry how this looks... and I really
don't like what you tried to do last night.  It turned out OK, so
I don't hold it against you that you tried, but it was pretty
dumb.  You really should have thought about what would have
happened if it'd worked.  If you'd made me break my vows, I'd
make damn sure you were just as unhappy as I was.

     "Last thing."  Ranma's eyes changed, seeming now more sad
and disappointed than coldly angry.  "You were right.  I did like
you a little that night, and even last night... and if you'd just
take 'no' for an answer, I'd like you more."

     Kodachi stared at Ranma with one hand to her cheek, still
looking stunned.  "No one has dared raise a hand to me since...."

     "You had it coming," Ranma said with only a little
discomfort.  She cracked a grim half-smile.  "Better that than
what Akane was gonna do, trust me.  I took some lumps that
shoulda been yours."

     "You really do care for me, Ranma-sama..." Kodachi breathed.
She lowered her hand from her cheek and the worshipful look in
her eyes faded a little; she concealed them behind long, dark
eyelashes.  "I will do as you say."

     "Good.  Now I got students to work with.  See ya later."
Ranma turned and walked back into the gymnasium, trying to ignore
the familar feeling that things hadn't turned out quite the way
she and Akane had planned.

     ~~~~~

     At the knock on the doorframe, Hasegawa turned from dusting
the trophies on her office wall and saw Akane standing in the
doorway, wearing a warm-up jacket over her leotard; Kodachi was
visible over her shoulder.  "Come in, Akane-san, Kodachi-san.
What can I do for you?"

     "It's about the match with Furinkan," Akane said.  "You know
Ranma and I used to go there and, well, I was thinking that maybe
it would be better if Kodachi's team took this match."

     Hasegawa's eyebrows arched in surprise.  "After all that?"
she said, referring to the battles-- in the gymnasium and out--
that had earned Akane's team the right to meet Furinkan's.

     "I'm afraid so," Akane replied, looking embarrassed.  "We
didn't notice the match was against Furinkan until afterwards."

     Hasegawa frowned.  "Really, Saotome-san, I am very
disappointed in you.  Your team won the playoff fairly, and you
should be proud to represent St. Hebereke's, even against your
former schoolmates."

     "But that's not--"  Akane stopped and bowed her head.  "Hai,
Sensei.  I'm sorry."

     "And you, Kuno-san," Hasegawa continued, wiping Kodachi's
smug smile off her face.  "I'm surprised that you're willing to
accept the fruits of victory without earning them.  You should
have known better than to agree to this."

     "My apologies, Hasegawa-sensei," Kodachi managed.

     "Saotome-san, your team will participate in the match with
Furinkan... and I will be very unhappy if there are any forfeits.
Dismissed."

     Akane followed Kodachi out into the hall, closing the office
door behind her.  They stopped at the same moment and exchanged
cautious glances.  Akane felt an odd kinship with Kodachi in that
moment after they had both been chewed out by the coach.  To her
surprise, she saw a flicker of the same emotion in Kodachi's face
in the moment before her mouth quirked and she turned away.

     ~~~~~

     "Great," Akane complained on the way home.  "All that for
nothing."

     Ranma shrugged.  "Who'd'a figured Hasegawa-sensei would get
all hard-assed about it?"

     "I should have," Akane said.  "Really, she had us dead to
rights."  She blew out a frustrated sigh and glanced sidelong at
Ranma, who was balancing her book bag on one finger.  "Now we
have to figure out what to do about it."

     "We go kick some Furinkan butts," Ranma said happily.  "Not
that it's gonna be much of a challenge."

     "No, I mean about keeping our secret.  The smartest thing
would be for you to stay home--"

     "What?!"

     "--not that you'd ever do the smartest thing."  Akane gave
Ranma an impish smile, and Ranma realized that she'd been teased.

     "Hmph."

     "Second smartest would be for you to go as a woman, and stay
a woman the whole time."

     "Well, duh.  I have to be a woman to fight my match, dummy."
Ranma dodged the casual retaliatory swipe of Akane's book bag.

     "Actually...."  Akane trailed off.

     Ranma gave Akane a flat-eyed look.  "Uh oh.  You're planning
something."

     "Well, I was thinking that since Furinkan's team's not going
to be much of a challenge for you, maybe you could sit this one
out."

     "Why the hell would I want to do that?!"

     "To give all of the rest of our team a chance to fight,"
Akane said seriously.

     Ranma opened her mouth to retort, then closed it again.
"Huh," she said finally.  "Yeah.  You could be the one to sit it
out, though."

     "If you won't, that's just what I'll do.  They need the
experience."

     "Heh.  So do you," Ranma chuckled, ready to dodge again, but
Akane's reaction took her by surprise: she broke into a sunny
smile and jumped up and down.

     "Yay!  Thanks, Ranma!  I knew you'd do the right thing!"

     "I what?  Wait a min--"

     "Well, if I need the experience, Sensei, then I should fight
a match even if you have to sit one out, right?"

     "Uh...."  A reluctant smile forced its way onto Ranma's
face.  "Yeah, I guess so.  Damn."

     "Also...."  Akane's voice trailed off again, shyly this
time.

     "NOW what?"

     "Well, if you're not going to fight, you could go as a man."

     Ranma raised an eyebrow.  "I thought you said that wouldn't
be smart."

     "It's not.  If enough of our schoolmates see you as a man,
they might put two and two together.  But I'd, well, I'd like you
to go as a man anyway."

     Ranma raised her other eyebrow, noticing that Akane's ears
were quite pink where they showed through her hair.  "How come?"

     "'Cause I want to be seen with you, you insensitive jerk!"
Akane burst out, flushing.

     "Hey, makes sense to me," Ranma said easily.  "Of course
you'd wanna be seen with a good-lookin' guy like me."  She paused
and struck a masculine pose, complete with smoldering expression.
On a small, curvy girl in a school uniform, though, it looked
pretty silly, and Akane was only able to contain the giggles for
a couple of seconds before they escaped.  Ranma dropped the pose,
looking affronted.

     "You egomaniac," Akane said fondly.  "That's why I didn't
want to say it; I knew your head would get all swelled."  She
took a breath and managed to look serious again.  "But I do.
Most of the time we're out in public together, you're a woman.  I
just want people to see what a catch I landed."

     "Yeah... so do I."  Ranma blushed and looked away, hand to
the back of her head.

     Akane smiled warmly.  "Ranma, if you weren't a woman right
now, you'd get a kiss for that."

     "Another reason to be a man," Ranma said with a sly grin.

     "Oh, yes.  I'm still worried about the secret, though."

     "Ah, don't worry," Ranma said with a dismissive wave of her
hand.  "Worry and we won't have any fun.  Everything will be
fine.  What can go wrong?"

     Thunder rumbled faintly in the distance.

     ~~~~~

     The sky didn't look thunderous the day of the match, but
Ranma cast a cautious glance upward anyway at the gray clouds and
the scarce patches of blue visible between them.

     "What do you think?" Akane asked, walking beside him clad,
like the others, in a warmup suit; Ranma wore his usual Chinese
garb.

     Ranma shrugged.  "It might rain, or it might not.  With my
luck, it will."  He brandished his umbrella, furled for the
moment, and shrugged again.  In his other hand he carried a bag
full of team gear.

     "And that's the official Ranma forecast," Michi said in
tones of mock gravity.  "Man, with a chance of woman later in the
day, the probability rising directly with the likelihood of
embarrassment."

     "Ha, ha, ha," Ranma muttered sourly as the girls giggled.
"That's way too close to the truth."

     "That's why it's so funny, Ranma-kun," Sachiko said.  "But,
Michi, you shouldn't say things like that where people can hear."

     "Oh, lighten up," Michi retorted.  "I checked first."  She
gestured to the street around them; the nearest gaggle of St.
Hebereke's uniforms was well out of earshot.  The match had been
set for afternoon, right after school got out.  A few dozen of
their schoolmates had accompanied them, only a fraction of the
multitude that would have attended a match held at their own
school.

     They turned the last corner, blinked, and stopped in their
tracks.  "Good heavens," Akane said in astonishment.  It seemed
that their whole former class at Furinkan High had turned out and
gathered at the gates.  A cheer went up as the small crowd
spotted them and a large banner unfurled, reading "Welcome Back,
Ranma & Akane!"

     "Wow, you guys never told us you were this popular," Michi
commented.

     "I didn't know we were," Akane replied, blushing.  A smaller
banner unrolled:  "Welcome St. H Babes!"  Akane rolled her eyes
and groaned.  "Oh, no.  Not them."

     Ranma snorted.  "Who else?  Hiroshi and Daisuke."

     "I gotta meet these guys," Michi said with enthusiasm.
"They seem really friendly!"

     "That's one word for it," said Ranma wryly.  "Yeah, you'd
get along like a house on fire."  Smoke, flames, people running
around screaming, roofs collapsing....

     They started walking again, and Ranma watched with amusement
as Hiroshi and Daisuke were surrounded and pummeled by Furinkan
girls who'd apparently taken umbrage at their banner.  Just
outside the gates he stopped and waved his furled umbrella over
his head.  With a big grin he shouted "HEY, FURINKAN!"

     The crowd roared with laughter and cheers, swallowing up
Team Akane as they moved through the gate and onto the school
grounds.  Ranma waved back at smiling faces, making a path for
the team as he and Akane pushed through the milling mass of
students.

     "SAOTOME!"  A path cleared as though Ranma were Moses
parting the Red Sea and there stood Tatewaki Kuno, breathing
heavily and brandishing a bokken.  "How is it that thou darest
show thy face here after my defeat of thee in epic combat?!"

     Ranma glanced at Akane.  Akane shrugged and rotated her
finger next to her forehead.  Ranma nodded and looked back at
Tatewaki.  "Oi, Kuno, what's up?" he called cheerfully.

     "Silence, villain!  AAAAAH!"  Kuno raised his weapon and
charged.  Ranma skimmed forward fast enough to preempt Kuno's
strike, still carrying his bag and umbrella; his perfectly-timed
snap kick sent his assailant soaring skyward, accompanied by the
bokken.

     "I guess Kuno's up," Ranma observed, straightening and
shading his eyes with his hand to follow his assailant's
trajectory.  He waited for Akane to catch up and then resumed
their progress towards the gymnasium.

     The PA crackled as they set their bags down by the match
ring.  "Let's have a big welcome for the St. Hebereke's Martial
Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics team, led by Tendo Akane and Saotome
Ranma, formerly of Furinkan!" the speakers blared.

     Akane looked up at the nearest speaker, frowning, then over
at the announcer.  "Excuse me a minute.  I'll be right back."
She moved off purposefully.

     "Awk!" the speaker emitted, then continued at a lower
volume.  "Look, I'm sorry, Akane-kun, but Kuno-sempai insisted--"
The announcer's voice cut off, and Akane's voice could be heard,
but too faintly to make out the words.  "Ah.  Well, when you put
it that way....  Ladies and gentlemen," the voice resumed at full
volume, "a slight-- awk!  Er, an important correction: that's
Saotome Akane, not Tendo Akane."

     Akane was back shortly, dusting her hands together with a
self-satisfied look.  "Honestly, some people."  She looked around
at the chaos as students jostled for seats; the Furinkan
gymnasium was a lot smaller than the one at St. Hebereke's, and
bleacher space was limited.  Many onlookers were already hanging
over the upper-level balconies.  A surprising number of people
were apparently more interested in getting close to Akane and
Ranma than finding seats, though; Akane was quickly surrounded by
a crowd of former schoolmates with congratulations... and
questions.

     Fading back out of the way, Ranma felt a hand on his elbow
and turned.  "Hi, guys," he said to Hiroshi and Daisuke, both
sporting multiple minor injuries from the local reaction to their
greeting banner.

     "Long time no see.  Say, Ranma-kun, got a minute?" Hiroshi
asked.

     "Sure."  Ranma moved off with them a little to a less-
crowded spot on the floor.  "What's up?  Yipe!"  He sprang nimbly
out of the way of a flung glass of water, courtesy of Daisuke.
"You moron, what the hell didja do that for?!"

     Both looked disappointed.  "We were really hoping to see you
in a St. Hebereke's uniform," Hiroshi said.

     "Or a leotard," Daisuke added.

     "But your ordinary clothes would do, as long as it wasn't a
guy in them.  Really, Ranma-kun, wouldn't you rather be a pretty
girl?"

     "With big gazongas?"

     "And no modesty?"

     Ranma gave them a flat-eyed glare.  "That's what YOU want,
not what I want.  Cut it out, or you won't wake up until the
matches are over."

     "Oh, well, can't blame a guy for trying," Hiroshi said off-
handedly.  "To make it up to us, you can tell us about your sex
life."

     "Right.  So, does Akane-kun scream, moan, whimper, or just
lay there?" Daisuke inquired.

     "Uh, she scr--"  Ranma blinked.  "None of your goddamn
business!"

     "Put down 'A'," Daisuke told Hiroshi.

     "What?  Where the hell are you getting this stuff?"

     Hiroshi held up a rather lurid-looking magazine.  "It's a
survey.  'Rate Yourself As a Lover'."

     "And I would want to take this survey why, exactly?"  Ranma
said, scowling and tapping his foot.  "How did you guys score,
eh?"

     "Uh, we haven't, yet," Hiroshi admitted at the same moment
that Daisuke said "Uh, zero, technically...."  They looked at
each other with chagrin.

     "Thought so," Ranma said triumphantly, turning to leave.

     "Look, Ranma-kun," Daisuke said urgently, seizing Ranma's
arm, "you can't deny that you've done the deed any more.  You're
married, for cryin' out loud!  And Akane-kun wouldn't be smiling
at you like that if you'd left her, uh, unscrewed."

     "Well, yeah, but--"  Ranma broke off.  "Smilin' at me like
what?"

     Hiroshi and Daisuke both pointed past Ranma with identical
smug expressions.  Ranma turned and looked.  Sure enough, Akane
was looking at him past a ring of excited girls and smiling
warmly; she waved when she saw him turn to face her.  Ranma waved
back, then noticed the ring of sly looks directed his way.  "Ah-
heh.  Oh, jeez, I wonder what they're talking about...."  He
reluctantly returned his attention to the guys.

     "See?  That is not the look of an unsatisfied wife," said
Hiroshi.  "You know damn well they're talking about your, heh-
heh, performance."

     "It's gotta have something to do with your intimate
understanding of exactly how it feels to be a woman," Daisuke
chimed in.

     "You owe it to mankind, or at least the men of Furinkan, to
share your knowledge," Hiroshi followed up immediately.

     "It does not!  I do not!  You guys are nuts!" Ranma
protested.

     Hiroshi glanced at Daisuke, and they both took a step back
and bowed to Ranma.  "Sensei, accept us as your students!" they
chorused.

     "Eeeeeep!"  Ranma cringed away, horrified.  "No way!"

     "Why not?" Daisuke demanded.

     "Chicken?" Hiroshi taunted.

     "What?!"  Ranma brought up short as an idea occurred to him.
"Bull.  Why would I teach two guys with no aptitude?"

     Daisuke and Hiroshi boggled.  "No aptitude?"

     "Sure," Ranma said.  "Look, no sensei's gonna take a student
who doesn't at least have some promise.  You guys are almost
seniors and you're getting magazines all sweaty instead of
getting some, heh, hands-on experience.  Pathetic."

     "Hai, Sensei," they said in attentive unison.

     Ranma covered his eyes with his hand and shook his head.
"Pathetic, I tell you.  Here, gimme that, it's not gonna do you
any good."  He grabbed the magazine from Hiroshi's unresisting
hand and walked off, thumbing through it.  *Hmmm, 'Rate Yourself
As a Lover'... let's see here.*

     "Hands-on experience," Hiroshi said to Daisuke.

     "Sounds like good advice to me," Daisuke agreed.

     "And there's a lot of cute girls here today."

     "Cute girls who don't know us yet."

     The two youths struck determined poses.  "Sensei, we will
make you proud of us!"

     ~~~~~

     "Er, excuse me...."

     Ranma looked up from the magazine and discovered that he'd
been surrounded by a gaggle of girls in St. Hebereke's uniforms
while he was busy rating himself as a lover.  He quickly tucked
the magazine inside his shirt.  "Ah, heh-heh, hiya," he said with
an embarrassed grin.  "Miyoko, isn't it?"

     The girl's eyes widened.  "How'd you know my name?"

     Ranma grimaced.  *Moron!  She thinks we've never met!  She'd
better not figure out that we HAVE met!*  "Uh, just a lucky
guess?  You look like a Miyoko?"  He grimaced again with the
lameness of his answer, but it seemed to go over.

     "Guess MY name," another girl said boldly.

     "Fumi?" Ranma hazarded, knowing her name was Tomoe.  There
was a murmur of disappointment from the girls, and Ranma relaxed.
"So, what can I do for you?"

     "Oh, we just wanted to meet you," Miyoko said, a little
bashfully.  "You know, find out what Akane-kun's dreamboat
husband was like."

     "Yeah, that's me," Ranma said proudly.

     "You look just like Ranma-kun," Tomoe said.

     "Well, sure I-- urk!"  Ranma suddenly realized she was
talking about the other Ranma, the one who went to St. Hebereke's
in a dress.

     "Don't be silly, Tomoe," one of the other girls said.  "He's
twenty centimeters taller, he must weigh ten kilos more, and his
bust is, um, different.  Way different."  She sighed admiringly.

     Ranma relaxed again.

     "But he wears his hair the same-- and look, he even has a
ring braided in the same way!" someone said from behind Ranma.

     "Eeep!"

     "Oh, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for that,"
Miyoko said.  She eyed Ranma, smiling, and waited for it.

     "Uh, I, uh, she, uh, copies me!  Yeah!  You know how, uh,
sisters get," Ranma improvised.  "I did kempo, she did kempo.  I
braided my hair, she braided her hair.  I got married, she got
married.  I wear a ring in my pigtail, she... well, you get the
idea."

     "Hmm."  Tomoe nodded.  "I guess that makes more sense than
what we heard."

     "Urk."  Ranma sweatdropped.  Suddenly he spotted his
salvation passing nearby.  "Hey, Kuno!"

     The freshly-bandaged samurai-in-training turned and glowered
at him.  "Saotome, I have pledged not to attack thee on this
sacred ground of sport today, but do not try my patience."

     "Yeah, yeah, whatever.  Listen, Kuno, tell these gals about
the pigtailed girl, willya?"

     "Ah, my sweet pigtailed girl!" Tatewaki gushed.  "Her visage
is as fair as the plum blossom, her heart as filled with light as
thine is with darkness--"

     "Gotcha.  But her name is Saotome Ranma, right?"

     Tatewaki scowled.  "In sooth it is, though my soul shudders
under the strain of enduring the foul fact that she shares it
with thee--"

     "Gimme a break.  And she wears her hair just like mine,
right?"

     "Even so, although the style suits her divine tresses far
better than it does thy mangy pelt--"

     "But she's not me, right?"

     "Dost thou take me for a fool?" Tatewaki fumed.  "'Tis
impossible!  Thou art male, though a knave rather than a true
man, and she is as fair a flower as has ever graced the name of
woman!  Enough of thy japery!"  He stalked away.

     Ranma smiled at the girls and spread his hands.  "There you
go."

     "I guess so," Tomoe admitted, still looking flummoxed by the
flood of florid speech.  "Still, it's weird that you have the
same name."

     Ranma shrugged.  "My parents have done lots of weird
things."  It was the first completely true thing he'd said in
several minutes, he reflected.

     "Well, it's not like we saw you run out one door and saw
Ranma-kun run in another door wearing the same clothes," Miyoko
commented.  "If that happened, we'd have to wonder."

     "Hahaha!" Ranma laughed, trying not to sound nervous.

     "So, what's it like being married to Akane-kun?"

     "Uh, fine so far."  Ranma hoped girls wouldn't ask a guy
about the intimate details.

     "Was it a nice wedding?  Michi-kun said she heard it was so
small you didn't even invite your friends."

     Ranma smirked.  "It was more exciting than nice, but it
worked.  Spend your wedding fighting off crazy gatecrashers, and
you know you got a good mate."

     "Eeew."  Miyoko made a face.  "That doesn't sound romantic
at all.  Do you bring Akane-kun flowers, or take her dancing, or
on moonlight strolls?"

     "Uh, no...."  *Not unless rooftops count.*

     "Hmph.  Well, what good ARE you, then?"

     A lazy grin slid over Ranma's face.  "She ain't complainin'.
An' I taught her to do this."  He sprang up out of the circle of
girls, planted one hand on the railing of the balcony above for
an easy-over flip between two startled onlookers, and landed
gently on the balcony.  "Hah.  Try THAT, why don'tcha," he
muttered, heading for the stairwell.  Behind him, he heard a
sudden commotion on the level below:

     "Hey, babes!  That was our sensei!  Welcome to Furinkan!"

     "EEEEK!"  Slap!

     Ranma shook his head, but didn't stop.

     "Hey, Ranma!  Aloha, keiki!" came a jovial voice as Ranma
started down the stairs.  He turned to see Principal Kuno,
resplendent in shorts, aloha shirt, deep tan, sunglasses, and
cranial palm tree, beaming down at him from the landing.

     "Wai!  Saotome-kun!  Hi!" squealed the diminutive figure of
Ninomiya Hinako, scurrying out from behind the principal.  "Long
time no see!"

     "Not long enough," Ranma said under his breath.  He waved
casually.  "Hey."

     "Hey, kanaka, how you like dat school fo' wahines, eh?" Kuno
bellowed.

     "Gaah!  Not so loud!" Ranma hissed, bounding up the steps to
the landing.

     "Have you been a good boy?" Hinako asked brightly.  She
pursed her lips and put a finger to her cheek.  "No, you'd have
to be a good girl, wouldn't you?"

     "Argh!"

     Kuno hung a sympathetic expression on his face.  "Auwe!
Poor keiki don't want nobody to know dis lil' bruddah-- make dat
dis lil' sistah-- gotta go to dat awful St. Ecchi every day, hey?
Hahaha!"

     Ranma grinned; Kuno's taunt had missed its mark widely.
"Hey, it's better than this cesspit."

     "Eh?" Kuno inquired suspiciously.

     "Why, Saotome-kun!  You watch your language, or I'll have to
wash your mouth out with soap!" Hinako-sensei warned.

     Ranma suddenly recognized the trap looming before him.
"Hell, it's no problem at all!" he added hastily.  "Those nuns
aren't THAT bad.  I can take whatever they dish out.  All that
impossible homework don't faze me a bit.  So what if I can't even
take a leak without Akane callin' me a pervert and clobberin' me.
I wouldn't transfer back to Furinkan if ya paid me."  He tried to
look like he was trying not to look haggard and desperate, fully
aware that his poker face wouldn't fool anyone with an ounce of
perception--

     "Poor, poor Saotome-kun," Hinako chirped, skipping over to
Ranma and patting him on the shoulder.  "It's for your own good."

     "Can't make da kine omelet without crackin' one coconut,
bruddah!" Kuno-kocho added smugly.

     "You bastards!" Ranma snarled, raising a clenched fist with
one finger extended.  He whirled and bounded down the stairs,
feigning rage and dismay as best he could and marveling at his
luck.

     "He's still very rude, Kocho," Hinako said sadly.  "Maybe
it's too late to keep him from becoming a delinquent."

     "Can't win 'em all, Miss Hinako," Kuno said, the picture of
tropical contentment as he sauntered after his former nemesis.

     ~~~~~

     Ranma trotted back into the gymnasium just in time; things
were settling down in anticipation of the commencement of combat
and the teams were gathering around the judges' table.  Akane's
head turned slightly as he drifted up behind her.  "About time
you got back," she hissed out of the corner of her mouth.

     "Yeah, yeah."  Ranma watched with the rest as Sachiko
produced a cardboard box from her duffel and held it out to
Akane.

     "And now, the unveiling of the trophy for today's
competition, kindly provided by St. Hebereke's!" the PA speakers
crackled.  Akane opened the box Sachiko held, ceremoniously
pulled out an athletic trophy, and held it up: a polished wooden
pedestal crowned by a golden--

     Ranma's eyes bugged out.  "Oh, shit!  Akane!"

     "What?"  Akane looked up.  Even over the murmurs from the
crowd, Ranma could almost hear the klaxon go off inside her head
as she identified the large, ornate pineapple surmounting the
trophy.  "Oh-- dear!"  She frantically looked around for the
principal, but she knew it was too late even before she spotted
him behind the Furinkan gymnasts.

     "Man, dat one FINE trophy," Kuno-kocho said reverently, his
eyes glittering with avarice behind his sunglasses.  "I goin' get
dat fo' my office, yeah!"  He struck a dramatic pose and
addressed the team.  "Keikis!  Fo' de honor of Furinkan!  You
goin' win today, or--" he gestured with the hair-clippers that
had appeared in one hand-- "you ALL gettin' buzz-cuts!"

     The team, to a girl, looked stricken.  "But, Kocho--!"

     Ignoring the developing squabble, Akane carefully set the
trophy down on the table and turned to Ranma, looking pretty
stricken herself.  Ranma beat her to the first word.  "Dammit,
what the HELL was Hasegawa-sensei thinkin'?!"

     "I don't know," Akane said feebly.  "She doesn't KNOW Kuno-
kocho, does she?"

     "I don't understand," Junko interjected.  "I mean, it's a
pretty weird trophy, but what is everyone getting excited about?"

     "The principal's a pineapple freak," Ranma said succinctly.
"Well, he's a bunch of other kinds of freak too, but pineapples
drive him bananas."

     "In other words, he's a tropical fruitcake?" Junko quipped,
smirking.

     "Gaah," Ranma groaned.  "Anyway, you heard him.  He's gonna
go crazy when we win.  Damn Hasegawa!  The bitch set us up!"

     The others, even Akane, looked shocked at this near-
blasphemy-- except for Sachiko, who was looking into the box that
had contained the trophy.  Her eyebrows rose, and she carefully
closed the box and stowed it with the team's gear.

     ~~~~~

     Gong!

     Akane and Ranma watched Eriko's graceful, leisurely
cartwheeling and flipping around the ring, rope spinning in a
blurring disc as she evaluated her opponent.  "She's being
merciful," Ranma muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

     "Yes.  Wow, she's good.  Did we do that?" Akane murmured
proudly.

     "Guess so... but she did a lot of it, too."  Eriko executed
a flashy overhead layout attack flip and Ranma stopped commenting
for a moment to join in the clapping and cheering from the small
contingent of spectators from their school.  "She's a natural,
like you and me.  Too bad she didn't start the Art earlier."  He
glanced sideways and grinned.  "Look at palm-tree-head."

     Akane followed his gaze.  The frown on the principal's face
as he watched the match was black enough to warrant a
thundercloud.  "Uh oh."

     "This is gonna be sweet," Ranma said contentedly.  "Ha, she
ran out of mercy."  Eriko had discarded the rope and called for a
ribbon; she caught it, dodging a desperate club attack, and began
the final stalk.  The Furinkan gymnast put up a brave defense,
but the outcome was not in doubt.

     Gong!

     "The winner by ring out: Eriko Thompson, of St. Hebereke's
School for Girls!"

     There was a fair amount of cheering even from the home-team
audience; some of them knew skill when they saw it.  Eriko waved
and vaulted out of the ring, flushing happily.  "How was that,
Akane-kun?" she asked, accepting a towel from Sachiko.

     "Just right," Akane told her.

     "Not much to talk over afterwards," Ranma agreed.  "Lookin'
good, Eriko."

     "Hey, Ranma-kun, introduce us!"

     Ranma sighed and waved a hand at the speaker without looking
over his shoulder.  "Eriko, this is Hiroshi."

     "And I'm Daisuke."

     "They're not my fault," Ranma finished.

     "We're here to congratulate you on your victory!" said
Daisuke, stepping forward.

     "You mean like the girls in the winner's circle at auto
races?" Eriko asked nervously, stepping backward.

     Hiroshi and Daisuke glanced at each other and smiled in
sudden simultaneous inspiration.  "Yeah!" Hiroshi said
cheerfully.  "A kiss to the victor, that's us!"

     Ranma's and Akane's jaws dropped long enough for Daisuke to
attempt to deliver the prize, but Eriko was still replete with
adrenalin.  "EEEEK!"  Pow!  "Lecher!"

     Daisuke landed somewhere in the third row.  Hiroshi looked
reproachfully at Eriko.  "He was just being nice.  How come girls
get away with that and-- YIPE!"  Hiroshi jumped in the air and
spun around.

     "Hi, handsome."  Michi smiled and waved with the fingers
she'd just used to goose him.  "Try it again when I win, hmm?"

     Hiroshi goggled.  "Uh.  Er.  Excuse me, I, uh, gotta, uh,
take my buddy to see the nurse!" he said rapidly while walking
backward.

     Michi, pouting, watched him go.  "They all do that," she
complained.  "What's the nurse got that I haven't got?"

     "At this school, about thirty years," Ranma said, smirking.

     ~~~~~

     "What a contest!" Hinako said excitedly to Principal Kuno.
"I was so thrilled!  Weren't you thrilled?"

     "Yeah.  T'rilled."  The principal did not sound thrilled.

     Waxing rhapsodic, Hinako continued, "It's so wonderful to
see young people channeling their fighting spirit into sports!"

     Kuno, slumped forward, sat up suddenly.  "Fighting spirit!
Dat's it!"  He turned to the little teacher.  "Listen, Miss
Hinako!  Dey not playing fair, no no!  Dey all delinquents!"

     "Kocho!"  Hinako looked flabbergasted.  "No!"

     "Yeah!  Dey cheatin' like one mongoose!  You gotta punish
'em, yeah!"

     Hinako inspected the St. Hebereke's team.  "They don't LOOK
like delinquents..." she said doubtfully.

     "Dey gotta be!  No way dey win so easy, except dey cheatin'!
And keikis who cheat, dey's delinquents!"

     "I can't believe it," Hinako said firmly.  "Saotome-kun,
perhaps, but Tendo-san?  Oh, I forgot, she's 'Saotome-san' now.
How confusing."  Hinako stuck a fingertip in her mouth and looked
distraught.

     "OK, it's Ranma's fault, den!  Dat keiki, he teach 'em all
how to cheat, yeah!"  Kuno held his breath.

     "No," Hinako declared.  "Saotome Akane-san has never given
me the least trouble.  It's just not possible."

     The principal abandoned reason, or bluster, for a more
straightforward and effective tactic: bribery.  "You punish dem
fo' bein' delinquents and I give you-- dis!"  With a flourish, he
held up a very large swirly-striped lollipop.

     "Wai!  Candy!  Gimme!" Hinako sparkled.

     "Delinquents?"

     "Delinquents!"  Kuno handed over the lollipop, grinning.
"Except for Akane-san," Hinako qualified after her third lick.

     "No pilikia," Kuno agreed.  Three wins to two was as good as
four to one.

     ~~~~~

     "Oh, Ranma-sama!"

     Ranma looked around at the call, but knew what he would see:
Kodachi, sitting in the front row not far away.  There was a spot
large enough for one person on the bench beside her.  She
beckoned and patted the bench, smiling.

     "Ranma...."

     Again Ranma knew what he would see when he turned, but this
time he was wrong; Akane looked worried, not angry.  "What?"

     Akane glanced meaningfully at Kodachi.  "She's probably
still trying to reveal our secret," she said quietly.

     "Oh.  Oh boy."

     Akane nodded, but didn't smile.  "Let's go find out what she
wants."

     Ranma was pretty sure what Kodachi wanted, but didn't say
so; he just walked over, with Akane right behind him.  Kodachi
stood up and moved away from the crowd a little as they
approached.  "Good afternoon, Ranma-sama.  Tendo."

     "What are you doing here, Kodachi?" Akane hissed.

     "Isn't it obvious?  I've come to see Ranma-sama.  I couldn't
possibly pass up an opportunity to admire his true handsomeness,
could I?  I have no interest in the match itself, I assure you."

     "You should," said Akane.  "You might pick up a few tips."

     "Nothing of value, I'm sure."  Kodachi returned her
attention to Ranma.  "I've saved a seat for you, Ranma-sama.  You
shouldn't hover about the St. Hebereke's girls' gymnastics team
so; after all, you aren't a member of it, are you?"  She paused
to let the import of her words sink in, and Ranma realized that
he was behaving pretty much the same way the "other" Ranma did at
a team event.  Seeing him recognize the danger, Kodachi nodded.
"Come sit with me instead."

     Akane's retort was cut off by a call from Michi.  "Captain!
We're about to start!"  She tossed Kodachi a scorching glance,
gave Ranma a warning look, and hurried back to ringside.  Kodachi
turned and went back to her place, then regarded Ranma
expectantly.  Ranma looked along the bleachers, but they were
packed except for the open spot by Kodachi; he shrugged, walked
over, and sat down.

     "Now isn't this nice?" Kodachi murmured in his ear.

     "I'm just here 'cause there ain't nowhere else to sit,"
Ranma maintained stoutly.

     "I'm ever so glad I thought of securing it, then."  Kodachi
sounded a little hurt, and Ranma grimaced.

     "Sorry."

     "Forgiven.  Forgotten."  Ranma glanced at her, and she
returned his gaze; she really did look happy to be sitting next
to him, and no more than that.  She blushed slightly and looked
away.  "Ah, I see that Junko-kun has the next match."

     "Yup," Ranma said, looking at the ring.  He noticed
something else.  "What the hell?"

     Gong!

     "Junko-kun isn't doing very well, is she?" Kodachi observed
after a moment.  The girl in the ring was moving as though
exhausted.

     "No," Ranma said absently, frowning.  "She's usually a lot
better than that.  Oh, crap."  He winced as Junko took a fall
badly.  Most of the audience cheered for the Furinkan gymnast,
but some were muttering discontentedly, and there were a few
jeers.  Junko struggled for a moment, then slumped.

     Gong!

     "Ichijoji Sayoko wins for Furinkan, tying the score at one-
one!"

     "'Scuse," Ranma said, jumping up.  He headed for the ring
while Sachiko and Akane carried Junko out and draped her over a
chair.  "What's the matter with her?" he demanded.

     "I dunno," Junko whispered.  "So tired... so weak... I was
feeling fine a minute ago...."  She trailed off and her eyes
closed.

     Akane's eyes met Ranma's.  "Did you hear anyone say
something about fifty yen?" Akane asked Junko.

     Junko's eyes struggled open again.  "Yeah.  Yeah, now that
you mention it.  Little-girl voice.  How'd you know?"

     Ranma stood up and looked around.  "Damn."  He pointed with
his chin: long black hair, last seen on a little girl named
Ninomiya Hinako, now adorned a mature body of striking beauty
that filled the ki-draining teacher's small dress to near
bursting.  As he watched, she shrank back to her little-girl form
and started licking a huge lollipop.  "That idiot Happosai.
'Children's health technique', my ass.  Well, if she tries it
again, I'll--"

     "No, Ranma," Akane broke in.  "It's my responsibility.  I'll
try to talk her out of it.  Please, just go back and--" she
forced the next words out-- "sit with Kodachi."

     Ranma gave her a dubious look.  "You sure?"

     "No, but it's worth a try.  If I want help, I'll call."

     "Okay," Ranma said, shrugging.  He sauntered off.

     "So what the heck happened to Junko?" Michi asked, still
boggling a bit over Hinako's transformation.

     "Vampire teacher," Junko suggested faintly.  "Heh.  The
story about Ranma-kun turned out to be true, why not the other?"

     "That's right," Akane confirmed.  "She just looks like a
little girl.  When she drains your fighting spirit, she, well,
she grows up for a while."

     "But how do we stop her?" Sachiko asked.

     "You don't," Akane said grimly.  "She even gives Ranma
trouble.  But maybe she'll listen to me."

     "Akane-kun, are you ready?" came a voice from above.

     Akane looked up at the referee leaning over the ring ropes.
"Just about.  Sachi?"

     "Ready."  Sachiko frowned a little; she was accustomed to
vaulting into the ring on the stirrup of Junko's linked hands,
but Junko was obviously in no condition for that.  Akane took her
place, and Sachiko gave her a quick, grateful smile.  "Hup!"
Akane heaved Sachiko into a double back somersault over the ropes
to land on her feet in the ring.

     Gong!

     Akane ignored the progress of the match; she had confidence
in Sachiko.  She ran around the ring to intercept Hinako as the
little girl skipped down from the bleachers.  "Sensei, please
don't!  It's not fair!" she protested, getting between Hinako and
her teammate.

     Hinako tried to dodge around Akane one way, then the other,
then tried a quick fake-out, but Akane managed to stay in her
path.  "Akane-san, be a good girl!  I have to punish her, in the
name of the lol-- of the principal!"

     "The principal put you up to this?" Akane glanced at the
bleachers.  Kuno waved his tropical drink at her happily.  Hinako
took advantage of her momentary distraction.

     "HAPPO GO-EN SATSU!" she cried, holding up a brass coin
between two fingers and sighting on Sachiko through the hole in
its center.  Sachiko's battle aura briefly became visible as it
streamed from her leotard-clad form into the coin.  Hinako grew
from a girl to a tall woman with the flow of energy; her two-
sticks figure became an hourglass.  "Heh."  She smiled
triumphantly, brushing her hair back with one hand.  Sachiko
staggered, took a ball to the gut, and collapsed.

     Gong!

     "Furinkan wins, and takes the lead!"

     Akane stared, aghast, then snapped a quick strike at
Hinako's hand.  The five-yen coin spun away, but Hinako evaded
Akane's pile-driver punch at her midsection deftly.  "Well, Kuno-
kocho was right," she said softly, measuring Akane with her eyes.
"You HAVE fallen in with bad companions.  You'll have to be
punished too."

     "Just try it," Akane snapped without thinking.  "HYAA!"  She
attacked again with a lightning combination, but somehow Hinako
just wasn't there to receive it, and she began to understand why
Hinako was nearly a match even for Ranma.  Then another coin
appeared between Hinako's fingers, and Akane heard the words
again, and for the first time she felt the horrible draining of
her fighting spirit being ripped away from her body.  She exerted
every shred of control she'd learned from Ranma's teasing and
Ranma's training to calm her anger and quench her flaming battle
aura, but it was too late.  Akane fell to her hands and knees as
Hinako turned contemptuously and walked away.

     Feet landed beside her.  "Akane, you okay?" Ranma's voice
asked anxiously.

     "More or less.  Stop her," Akane wheezed, staring at the
gymnasium floor.  "Do whatever you have to.  Even THAT.  But stop
her."

     "You got it," Ranma vowed, his hands flexing into the three-
and-two-fingers shape of the tsubo strike that would disable
Hinako's ki-draining ability temporarily.  "She's history."

     *No, she's English.*  Akane smiled a little despite the
weariness, then concentrated on restoring her lost energy the way
Ranma had taught her.  She tried not to think about the way
Hinako's breast, so much better than hers, would fill Ranma's
hand in a moment.

     "YOU!" Ranma shouted, straightening and pointing across the
floor at Hinako.  "You're gonna get it now!"  He darted for her,
hands ready.

     Hinako turned; her hands were ready too.  Her thumbs and
forefingers met before her as Ranma bounded into the air to
strike from above.  "HAPPO TSURISEN GAESHI!"  The stolen ki
exploded from the circle of her fingers, catching Ranma in mid-
leap and blasting him across the gym.  Crash!  His hurtling body
smashed out through one of the high windows as Hinako shrank back
to her young form.

     "Poor Saotome-kun," Hinako sighed, shaking her little-girl
head sadly.  "You'd think he'd learn."

     ~~~~~

     "Dammit!" Ranma snarled, sitting up in the middle of the
baseball field and raking wet hair out of her eyes.  "What a time
for it to be raining!"  She bounced to her feet and sprinted back
towards the gymnasium through the rain.

     Approaching the entry, she suddenly heard excited female
voices.  "He went this way!  Quick, let's go see!"  Ranma jumped
up to the roof over the entryway and flattened herself there, but
her groupies didn't go out into the rain.  She could hear them
easily, though.  "Do you see him?"

     "No...."

     "How about a girl wearing the same clothes?"

     "No, just rain.  Who'd be dumb enough to stay out in the
rain?"

     On the roof immediately above, Ranma grimaced, then silently
started peeling off her outer layer of clothing.  She cached the
damp bundle in the dryest spot she could find and left, bounding
up and over the gymnasium.

     ~~~~~

     Fortunately, it took a while to clean up the debris and
prepare the ring for combat, time Akane desperately needed; her
match was next.  When the referee looked questioningly at her,
she nodded and climbed into the ring.  Both the referee and her
opponent eyed her with pity; they knew about Hinako's little
trick.  They didn't know about the training Akane's ki abilities
had received, though.

     Then the doors slammed open.  "You bitch, what did you do to
the other Ranma?!"  Everyone craned their necks to see.  There in
the doorway stood Ranma, wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a
soaked tank-top that clung to her every curve.  The gymnasium
erupted with gasps, cheers, and whistles.  Akane buried her face
in her hands and shook her head.

     "Pigtailed girl!"  Kuno Tatewaki's cry rang out over the
cacophony.  "At last thou returnest to our ranks!  Allow me to
welcome thee!"  He charged out of the stands, evidently bent on
embracing Ranma.  She didn't even look at him, but her fist knew
right where he was.  POW!  Tatewaki slid across the floor and
into the stands.

     "Bad timing, moron."  Ranma trotted up to the bleachers and
stopped, facing Hinako.  "Come on, let's settle this woman to
woman," she challenged the little teacher, beckoning.  "Let's see
what you got."

     "You're a very rude girl, and you deserve punishment!"
Hinako squealed, standing up.  Students scrambled out of the line
between the two as she raised a brass coin.  "HAPPO GO-EN SATSU!"
Onlookers held their breath, but nothing happened.  Ranma's face
remained composed.  Hinako didn't burgeon into womanhood.  Ranma
began to advance slowly up the cleared path to Hinako.  Hinako
paled.

     "You oughta know better," Ranma said conversationally, not
stopping.  "I beat that one a long time ago."  Her hands came up,
three fingers and two.

     Hinako pulled out another coin, a silver one, and smiled.
"Happo Go-juu-en Satsu!"  The fifty-yen attack could drain its
target's ki even if fighting spirit wasn't manifest, but Ranma
blurred and vanished, and a couple of hapless spectators found
themselves drained to virtual husks instead.

     Ranma appeared behind Hinako, crouched and smiling grimly,
but Hinako was already in motion.  Her long legs carried her down
from the stands with Ranma in hot pursuit.  She wheeled, coin
ready, but Ranma circled her at blinding speed.  "Happo Go-juu-en
Satsu!"

     "Eeeek!"  Michi crumpled, drained by mistake, just as Ranma
slid in under Hinako's arms and struck.  Two fingers hit precise
points on her back and three fingers of Ranma's other hand
prodded her breast: the five tsubo that would seal up Hinako's
power for the rest of the day.  Hinako spasmed and fell back, her
long black hair whipping back and forth.

     Ranma let go and stepped back.  "Did it," she said in
satisfaction.

     "Um, Ranma, there's a problem..."

     Ranma turned and looked up at Akane.  "What, another one?"

     Akane nodded towards Michi, who was looking decidedly unfit
for combat.  "She's got the last match.  I think I can win mine,
but if she forfeits we lose anyway!"

     "Oh, crap!  How about a substitute?  Eriko's fine-- no, she
can't fight twice!  Damn rules!"  Ranma's face lit up.  "Hey, I
can substitute for Michi!"

     "Not wearing that, you can't-- and we didn't bring your
leotard!" Akane wailed.

     "Damn!"  Ranma looked around wildly for a solution-- and
seemed to spot one.  "Fight your match.  Then stall," she said
tersely, then sprinted away.

     Akane's jaw dropped.  Then she saw Ranma scoop Kodachi out
of her seat and carry her out of the gymnasium, and her eyes
bugged out.  "RANMA!!"  She started to jump out of the ring in
pursuit, but a tap on the shoulder stopped her.

     "Are you ready to fight, or are you going to forfeit?" the
referee asked over the noise from the crowd.

     Akane stood frozen for a moment.  "Fight," she growled,
swinging around with her fists clenched.  The referee recoiled
from the blaze of her eyes.

     ~~~~~

     Ranma bounced to a halt in a vacant hallway and put Kodachi
down.  As usual, Kodachi beat her to the first word.  "That would
have been much more pleasurable had you been in your proper
form," she said, straightening her skirt.

     "Yeah, I'll bet.  Listen, Kodachi, we don't have much time."

     Kodachi raised an incredulous eyebrow.  "Exactly what did
you have in mind, Ranma-sama?" she inquired, eyeing Ranma's
feminine curves.

     Ranma blushed and waved her hands.  "No, no, you got it all
wrong!  Listen, you got your leotard handy?  Seems like you've
always got one."

     "As a matter of fact, I do.  Why do you ask?"

     "Can I borrow it?  I need to substitute for Michi," Ranma
said urgently.

     Kodachi's eyes widened and she covered her smile with her
hand.  "Oho.  Let me understand you clearly, Ranma-sama.  I have
only to deny your request, as you have often denied mine, and
your team-- no, that Tendo person's team-- will lose, or worse,
forfeit, and crumble in ignominy?"

     Ranma's eyes dulled in betrayal and disappointment.  "Yeah,
that's about the size of it."

     "All right."

     "I shoulda known you'd-- say what?"

     Kodachi smiled thinly.  "I said all right."

     "But--"  Ranma's eyes narrowed.  "OK, what do you want for
it?"

     "You know what I want," Kodachi said seriously.  "As all of
my efforts to that end have been in vain, though, I will try
something else.  I leave my reward for this favor to your
conscience.  Beware, however; should I feel that I have made a
poor bargain, I shall once again resort to drugs, bombs... and
perhaps even cows.  Ohohoho!"

     Ranma shrugged in eloquent resignation.  "It's a deal.
Gimme."

     Kodachi looked uncomfortable.  "It's not quite that simple,
Ranma-sama.  I'm wearing it at the moment, under my uniform."

     Ranma looked down at Kodachi's torso.  "Oh.  Damn."  She
looked around and pointed.  "Girls' bathroom.  C'mon."  She
grabbed Kodachi's arm, towed her into the bathroom, and shoved
her into a stall with minimal courtesy, but Kodachi went along
with it.

     "Oh, if only you were a man, and could offer me an incentive
to disrobe," Kodachi's amused voice came from inside the stall
over the rustling of cloth.

     "Gaah."  Ranma blushed.  "Get a move on, willya?"

     "Patience, Ranma-sama."  It was actually not long at all
before Kodachi came out again, holding a wad of stretchy black
cloth.  "You can't possibly be planning to wear this over those,"
she said, indicating Ranma's soggy boxer shorts and tank-top.

     "Damn.  You're right."  Ranma stripped them off quickly to
stand nude before Kodachi, tapping her foot impatiently.

     "Er... no panties?"

     Ranma snorted.  "Not bloody likely.  They pinch something
awful if I get hit with hot water."

     "I... see.  Well, I expect you to have this laundered with
care before you return it to me," Kodachi told the smaller girl,
handing over her leotard.

     "You bet."  Ranma got into the leotard in a hurry and
inspected the result.  The fit was not perfect, but it was close
enough for the elastic fabric to make up the difference.
"Thanks!  Later!"  She dashed out of the bathroom.

     Kodachi shook her head in bemusement, perhaps at Ranma's
actions, perhaps at her own, and followed.

     ~~~~~

     The unfortunate referee cowered in the middle of the ring,
caught between a rock and a hard place.

     "Dey got no one to fight!" Kuno-kocho insisted, nose to nose
with Akane over the referee.  "Declare da forfeit, keiki!"

     "I told you, I have a substitute coming," said Akane in a
controlled voice that promised swift and terrible retribution on
SOMEONE if her very reasonable request was ignored.

     "We can wait a little longer, can't we?" the referee asked
hopefully.

     "What substitute?"  The referee ducked Kuno's expansive
gesture.  "Dey got nobody!  Dey attacked one o' my da kine
teachers, yeah!  Dey cheatin'!  Declare da forfeit so I can take
my trophy, or I give YOU one buzz-cut!"

     "Hinako-sensei attacked MY team!" Akane snarled.  "If there
were someone sane to complain TO, I'd make a complaint!  As it
is, you owe me, and I want more time!"

     The crowd erupted into cheers again, and all three looked
up.  The referee sighed in relief; she might escape unscathed.
The principal's jaw dropped; his trophy hopes had taken a sudden
downturn.  Akane's eyes bugged out; Ranma wore a very familiar
black-rose leotard.  Ranma arrived in the ring before any of them
could recover.  "Hiya," she announced.  "I'm here to substitute
for Michi."

     "Where'd you get dat leotard, eh?" the principal asked
suspiciously.  "Looks like one of Kodachi's, yeah!  You mugged my
lil' wahine!"

     "Get real," Ranma scoffed.  "I just borrowed it from her."

     "So THAT's what you were doing," Akane said.  "I thought--"
She shut up quickly, blushing.

     Ranma cocked an eyebrow at her.  "Yeah, I figured that's
what you'd think, but I didn't have time to argue about it,
sorry.  Hey, are we going to talk, or are we going to do some
martial arts rhythmic gymnastics here?"

     "Gymnastics?" the referee suggested diffidently.

     The principal retired from the ring, muttering darkly.
Akane slid out between the ropes to join the rest of her team.
The crowd hushed as the fifth Furinkan gymnast entered the ring.

     Ranma smiled grimly at her opponent.  "Let's dance."

     ~~~~~

     Gong!

     "Winner by ring out, Saotome Ranma!  Match and tournament
goes to St. Hebereke's!"  Ranma pivoted slowly with her arms
raised over her head to bask in the cheers of the crowd, then
jumped out of the ring.

     "That wasn't very merciful, Ranma-kun," Eriko observed.

     Ranma shrugged.  "Yeah, well, I wasn't feeling merciful, OK?
It's been a long day."

     "Rest sounds really good right now," Michi agreed, and was
seconded by Sachiko, Junko, and Akane.  There was one last event
to endure before they could head for home, though, and they
formed up beside the ring for the award ceremony.

     Principal Kuno held up the pineapple trophy before the
assembled teams and the crowd.  A tear trickled out from under
his sunglasses.  "Auwe!  It breaks my heart to tell you good
Furinkan keikis dis, but... but...  NO!" he shouted suddenly,
clutching the trophy to him.  "It's MINE!  Hahaha!"

     There was a sudden explosion and a puff of smoke.  When it
cleared, Kuno and the trophy were both gone.

     "I'll bet he's taken it to that stupid shack on the roof he
calls an office!" Ranma exclaimed.  "I'll go beat him up and get
it back!"

     "Hold it, Ranma-kun."  Sachiko's command arrested her.
"Captain, look at this."  She held out a bulky envelope to Akane.
"It was in the box with the trophy."

     Akane accepted the envelope.  "'Open only in the event of
treachery'," she read.  "Isn't this Hasegawa-sensei's writing?"

     "Looks like it," Junko confirmed.

     Akane tore open the envelope and pulled out a hand-sized box
with a short antenna, an on-off switch, and a large red button.
"'Crafted with pride by St. Hebereke's Electronics and Chemistry
Clubs'," she read off the back.  "You don't suppose?"

     "Push the button, Akane," Ranma said, grinning.

     Akane switched the device on, walked to the nearest door,
and pushed the button.

     From somewhere above came a muffled explosion and a receding
cry of "Auwe!"  A few moments later, shredded bits of grass shack
began to rain out of the sky.

     "I take back everything bad I said about Hasegawa-sensei,"
Ranma said in an awed voice.  "Man, she is the coolest."

     ~~~~~

     A couple of days later, Ranma walked up to Kodachi in the
St. Hebereke's gymnasium and held out a neatly-folded black
leotard.  "Here you go.  Thanks for the loan," she said.

     Kodachi accepted the garment, inspected it, and nodded.
"You're welcome, Ranma-sama.  Have you given any thought to
returning the favor?"

     "Sure have.  Wanna fight?" Ranma grinned.

     Kodachi raised an eyebrow.  "I beg your pardon?"

     "Well, that's what I do with my friends, right?"  Ranma
looked away, twisting one toe on the floor in a slightly-
embarrassed manner.  "You've been a pretty good enemy, really.  I
kinda miss fighting you since you found out about girl-me.  And
it's something we can do for fun that nobody can complain about."

     "Hoho.  Indeed.  I imagine Akane will find a way, though."

     Ranma shrugged.  "Maybe.  But it's for her own good, too.
Speaking as her sensei, she needs a good enemy.  If sparring with
me sharpens you up a bit, and you pass that on to your team, and
your team fights ours, we'll all get better, right?"

     "You put that very delicately, Ranma-sama," said Kodachi,
sounding a little surprised.  "You needn't be so modest.  I am
well aware of your formidable skills in both combat and
instruction."

     "Yeah, well, I'm learning some things, too.  So how about
it?"

     "It's not what I'd hoped for, of course, but I must admit
it's more than I was expecting.  I accept with pleasure."
Kodachi put the leotard down with her gear and picked up a pair
of clubs.  Ranma eyed them with concern.

     "Uh, those aren't the special clubs, are they?"

     Kodachi's eyes glinted.  "Perhaps, perhaps not.  Let's find
out, shall we?"

     "Yeep."  With an I'm-going-to-regret-this look, Ranma held
up her hands just in time to snatch another pair of clubs out of
the air, proving that someone over by her own team's gear was
watching attentively.  "OK, let's rumble."

     "I assure you, Ranma-sama, I never 'rumble'," Kodachi
sniffed, pacing out onto the mat.

     ~~~~~

     "Race you home," Ranma suggested to Akane as they left the
school grounds.

     "Why bother?"  Akane continued to walk, not looking at
Ranma; the cold shoulder was obvious, even to Ranma, but she
ignored it.

     "'Cause it's fun.  'Cause you need the training, student."

     "Didn't you have enough fun with your OTHER student?"

     Ranma sighed and ran her hand through her bangs.  "OK, let's
talk about it.  I teach the other gals on our team, and you don't
have a problem with that.  What's wrong with teaching Kodachi?"

     "I trust them," Akane muttered.  "I don't trust--"

     "Me?" Ranma interrupted.

     "I was going to say HER!"

     Ranma smirked.  "Yeah, but you were thinking me."

     "Well...."  Akane sighed unhappily.  "I was trying not to."

     "Heh."

     "But Kodachi really is different from the girls on the team.
They all know you're mine.  She just won't acknowledge that.
That's what really drives me up a wall."

     "Well, she's beating her head against it.  Eventually she'll
get the idea."

     "Easy for YOU to say," Akane muttered.

     "Look, I don't like it either, but I'm trying to do
something about it.  If I treat her like the gals on the team,
maybe she'll start treating me like the gals on the team do.  If
you'd spar with her, maybe she'd be your friend, and just maybe
she'd quit trying to steal her friend's guy."

     The serious tone of Ranma's voice finally compelled Akane to
look at her.  "Ranma...."

     "I don't think she's ever had a friend, Akane.  Nobody was
ever nice to her unless they were afraid of her or wanted
something from her."

     "All right, who are you and what have you done with Ranma?"
Akane asked suspiciously, but she was obviously having trouble
keeping a straight face.

     "I'm the spirit of the Nyanniichuan, and I've taken Ranma
hostage," Ranma deadpanned.

     Akane lost it completely.  "BWAHAHAHAHA!"  Ranma rolled her
eyes, but waited patiently for Akane to run down.  "Oh, if you
could have seen your face," Akane said finally, wiping her eyes.
"I don't need a truth drug to know when you're telling a
whopper."

     Ranma's smile slipped on one side.  "Gaah.  So how about
that race home?"

     "Sure," Akane said, smiling back.

     "Go!"  Ranma sprinted away, laughing.

     "You cheater!  What happened to 'Ready, set'?!" Akane
yelled, accelerating.

     "Left 'em in my other leotaaaaard!" came the receding reply
as they disappeared over the rooftops.

     ~~~~~ end chapter 2.5 ~~~~~

Vince Seifert    Fanfic Analyst   FFIRC Frog
Prime:  seifertv@csus.edu
Backup: seifertv@myrealbox.com
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
Ideas are worth their weight in gold.






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