Subject: [FFML] Re: [Fanfic][R1/2][Fusion] The Saotome Gambit
From: "William Morse" <montanto@hotmail.com>
Date: 2/13/2000, 11:34 PM
To: wildeman@psn.net, ffml@fanfic.com

Hi.

Finally finished reading all five parts of this fic. (bear with me, it was a slightly fast scan so I might be missing some of the details.

This is easily the best Battletech/Ranma fusion that I've seen so far. I wish that was more of a compliment then it should be but unfortunately all of the other's that I've read seem to obsess about which character drives what mech. Story and content seem to be secondary if it is there at all.

The elements that have always appealed to me in Battletech has been the background material regarding all of the politics in history. The mechs have always been secondary (especially when you think about it just about anything remotely maneuverable with air to ground missiles could probably take a mech out with very little difficulty)

So far this holds together very well I like the background that you've set up so far. Considering the way you've been pacing so far it looks like this story is good for ten more parts minimum.

So far my only real nit is with Kima. I think you might have a slight plot hole regarding how The Commonwealth was able to gain access to Akane's DNA in order to set a matrix in the Jusenkyo labs. I'm sure House Tendou would have noticed a kidnapping. I'm sure even something as subtle as stealing tissue samples would have been difficult. And depending just how you're explaining Jusenkyo in this fic just how large a sample would be required. I'm sure you are probably saving an explanation for future chapters but I felt it warranted asking.

The rest of it I really like the way you're doing The Akane/Ranma relationship holds true to the cannon while being influenced slightly by the fic's environment. It is very refreshing to see writers who do not fall for the "Akane violent psycho/Ranma innocent victim" Trap.

The villains also are very good. It looks like your using the same version of Herb that you used for your 2010 fic. Looks like he has several irons in the fire and quite willing to use all of them. Mint, Lime and Tsubasa seem a tad too competent here but thats just nitpicking again.

All and all a very good read keep up the good work. Well enough of my rambling. Talk to you later.

                              Bill Morse
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