OK, here's the final candidate. Hey, I'm in Grad School, I have no time.
Christopher Angel Presents:
A Rather Silly Thought (tentative title)
Prologue and Chapter 1
An Altered Destiny
A Ygddrasil Production
inspired by:
-Ranma 1/2 by Rumiko Takahashi
-The Altered Destinies works of Wade Tritschler, Dreiser, and others.
***
Derek growled in frustration. 372160 was still messed up beyond belief,
1024861 was falling apart at the seams, and 69319-p was a loss already.
With sigh he wadded up the sheet of paper he was reading and tossed it over
his shoulder. "That is the LAST time I EVER let Serena watch over this
place!"
"Umm, Derek?" a female voice said hesitantly.
"WHAT?" he growled, spinning his chair, only to find Serena looking
worriedly at the display for 593427. "Oh no, what's wrong there now?"
"Well, that wad of paper fell in here, and..."
Chapter 1
---------
A panda walking through the streets of Nerima was a strange enough sight,
especially one accompanied by a handsome blonde gaijin. The young girl
walking with them with a decidedly unamused expression didn't help the
matter.
For that matter, neither did the struggling tied-up gaijin girl the panda
was carrying. The one yelling at the top of her lungs.
The young man was tall and quite handsome, obviously on the verge of full
manhood. He walked with an odd dignity and grace. His female companions
were both quite beautiful and well-shaped, so much so that serveral male
viewers were treated to slaps by their significant others. The one that was
free to walk on her own had the delicate features of a Japanese lady, dark
hair and odd indigo eyes. Her bound companion had bright red hair and blue
eyes, and her figure was yet more...healthy.
The panda was, well, a panda. A big one, yes, odd in that it was walking
much like a man, but a panda nonetheless.
"Baka Oyaji, put me down!" the bound girl hollered. "I want to go back to
China!"
"Ranma, please," the other girl said tiredly. "We've been through this
before. We can at least see what it is Ojiisan wants here before you head
back to your purple-haired trollop."
"She is NOT a trollop!"
The young blonde man frowned at the brunette and then said, "It is not our
place to naysay true love, be it wild like a hawk or gentle like a dove."
The girl stopped and looked at him with a sick expression. "Brother dear,
do me the favor of not speaking when you're like that. It makes my stomach
churn."
"Ojiisan is to blame for this curse that I claim."
The residents of Nerima were then treated to a rather violent altercation as
the brunette proceeded to pound her blonde companion...
***
The postcard was beaten and worn, yet the colorful picture on the front was
still as clear as the message on the reverse. "Coming back with Ranma,
signed Genma," read Soun Tendo. Tears streamed down his face, at odds with
the wide smile on his lips. "How I've waited for this day!"
Soun stood and walked to the kitchen. "Kasumi-chan, would you get your
sisters for me? I need to speak with all of you about a very important
matter."
Kasumi turned, wiping her hands on her apron. "Yes, Otousan. Might I ask
what it is about?"
"A matter of family honour."
***
"Nabiki?"
Nabiki rolled over on her bed and gave the door an irritated look. "Yes,
Oneesan?"
The door openned and Kasumi entered, a worried look on her face. "Otousan
would like to talk to us about something. Do you know where Akane is?"
Nabiki shrugged. "Probably out on a run or practicing her demolition skills
in the dojo," she replied. Noticing her sister's expression, she asked, "Is
there something wrong?"
"Father said it was something about family honor," Kasumi explained.
A disgusted noise escaped from Nabiki's throat. "Why don't I like the
sounds of this?"
***
"HiiiiiiYA!"
Hand drove towards brick.
*smash*
Hand 1, Brick 0.
Kasumi shook her head at the display in front of her. "Akane," she said
admonishingly. "This is not a very seemly hobby for a proper young girl.
How do you ever plan to get dates like this?"
"I don't," Akane replied curtly, brushing dust off her hands. "Especially
while they're all such annoying immature brats." She started to set up
another brick, before stopping and looking over at her sister. "I'm sorry,
Oneechan, was there something you wanted?"
"Yes, Otousan wanted to speak to us at once," the elder sister replied.
Akane frowned. "It's not allowance day," she mused, then shrugged. "Let me
clean up and then I'll be right there."
***
"I'm here, I'm here," Akane repeated as she sat at the table. "What is it?"
"Yes Otousan, tell her," Nabiki said with a somewhat amused expression. "I
just know she's going to LOVE this."
Soun cleared his throat nervously. "Yes, well," he began, and then cleared
his throat again. "As you know, I trained in Anything Goes with an old
friend Genma Saotome, who came to develop another school. When you were all
very young, we made a vow that we would join our families."
Akane frowned as a suspicion began to form in her mind. Nabiki, noticing
this, chuckled darkly. "You're on the right track," she said.
"Thus," continued Soun blithely, "it is my intention that one of you marry
his son, Ranma, and take over my dojo after me."
"WHAT?" Akane screamed. "You want us to marry some boy we've never even
met?!"
"More or less what I said," Nabiki told her.
"They do have a point, Otousan," Kasumi added. "How can we be expected to
marry a boy we don't even know? Is he a nice man?"
"I would expect so."
"You EXPECT so?" Akane demanded, leaning forward on her arms to glare at her
father. "You don't even know this guy?"
"Well, no," Soun admitted. "His father took him on a training trip when he
was very young, and they've been on this trip most of Ranma's life." He
glanced at the postcard on the table. "I do know they were recently in
China."
"China?" Nabiki echoed. "Oooh, sounds interesting!"
"Yay," Akane grumbled. "China."
A knock on the door interrupted the conversation. Soun slapped his hand on
the table and started to get to his feet. "Well, that should be them." He
paused in startlement as Nabiki shot to her feet and ran towards the door.
With an abused look, he said to his other daughters. "Shall we join her?"
They followed to see Nabiki staring out the door in what looked like shock.
"Is there a problem, Nabiki-chan?"
"Otousan," Nabiki said in a quiet voice, "There's three people fighting with
a panda out there."
Soun rushed by his daughter to place himself between the combat and his
precious children. A handsome young blonde gaijin was fighting with a
gaijin redhead girl who was trying to beat a giant panda to the ground while
fending off another girl. He watched the melee for a moment before shouting,
"What is the meaning of this?!"
The second girl glanced in his direction a moment and then extracated
herself from the fighting. "Soun Tendo-san, I presume?" she bowed. "I am
Kodachi Saotome, it is a pleasure."
"Indeed," Soun replied sternly, dispite the surprising politeness. "I was
expecting my friend Genma and Ranma. What is your relation to them? And
where is Ranma?"
"Respectively, Uncle and Cousin," Kodachi replied smoothly. "And Ranma is
right there, h-she's currently pummeling my brother Tatewaki."
"She?" Nabiki echoed. "Ranma's a she?"
"Otousan, you said he was a boy!" Kasumi said.
"I thought he was!" Soun defended, "Genma told me he was!"
"Some fiancee, Otousan," Nabiki said disgustedly, and was shot a surprised
look by Kodachi.
"What's with the panda?" Akane demanded.
"One moment," Kodachi delayed, and turned to the combattants. "Stop this at
once!"
The man, Tatewaki, did so, only to find himself thrown by the redheaded
girl, Ranma, to land at the watchers' feet. He stood and glowered at her.
"Low blow," he claimed.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Ranma sighed, and then yelped as she barely dodged a
swipe from the panda. "Cut that out!" She stalked over to the Tendos and
bowed. "Ranma Saotome. Nice to meet ya," she said, and then blinked in
surprise as only cursory responses were made, the most dramatic by Soun who
burst into tears and was then led back into the house by two elder Tendo
girls. "Was it something I said?"
"Nevermind them," Akane said with a smile, and looked at the two girls
earnestly. "I'm Akane. Want to be friends?"
"Uhh...sure," Ranma said uncomfortably.
"We'd be deligheted," Kodachi added, noticing Ranma's condition.
"Great! Come on, let's go to the dojo. Would you like to spar?"
A panicked look came into Ranma's eyes. "Uhh...well...that is-"
"Ranma is quite tired by her recent fight," Kodachi interrupted. "I would
be happy to spar with you."
"Okay," Akane shrugged, and began walking to the dojo. "Just let me change
into my gi."
***
"Quite nice," Kodachi said approvingly, looking around the dojo while they
waited for Akane.
"Tradition suffuses the air, from the door to the shrine over there,"
Tatewaki echoed.
Ranma winced. "That one really sucked, 'Niisan."
A shrug was Tatewaki's response. "My stuff's good enough." He went over to
examine the shrine more closely.
Ranma pressed her fingers to her temples. "Just don't talk anymore,
please?" She stepped over to a cabinet on the wall and opened it up.
"Hmm," she mused upon seeing the tools inside. "Looks like this school is
more up your alleys. They actually bother with weaponry."
Kodachi snorted. "That Chinese tramp of yours uses weapons too," she
pointed out.
"Bah," Ranma dismissed. "A couple here and there. No worse than those
gloves I developed for weapon tournaments. Besides, she has style." She
closed the cabinet and grimaced. "Say, don't embarrass this chick too much,
kay?"
"Why Ranma," the brunette responded innocently, "Might I detect a small note
of interest in your voice?"
"Hell no!" she denied. "I just thought it might be nice to have someone NOT
hate us for once."
At that moment Akane entered the dojo, clad in a gi of pale yellow. "Sorry
I took so long," she said, and then got into stance. "Don't worry, I won't
hurt you."
Ranma stiffled a snort and went to sit at the side of a dojo. "This should
be fun," she muttered, "let the carnage begin."
***
"I am quite sorry, Akane," Kodachi apologised, looking at the floor.
Akane winced as Kasumi pulled another splinter out from her hand. "I was
the one who punched the wall," she said. "I went a little too far-oww!"
"Bravo, sis," Nabiki helpfully added. "Got tired of bricks?"
"Oh, shut up."
Having hotten the last of the splinters out, Kasumi stood and went to get
some bandages, but stopped. "Akane, you should take a bath before I bandage
your hand."
"Okay, Oneechan," Akane said, and headed up the stairs. "Coming, Kodachi?"
"In a moment," Kodachi replied, glancing over at the dinner table where a
now human Genma sat across from Soun. "I'm going to get Ranma and my
brother."
"Oh, Ranma's in the bath," Kasumi supplied cheerfully. "I believe
Tatewaki's outside."
"The bath?!" Kodachi yelped. She whirled to follow Akane right when a
screetch filled the air. "Too late."
Akane came sprinting down the stairs and into the yard, and tore the top off
of a statue. "I'll kill him!"
"What is it?" Nabiki demanded. "What's that for?"
"There's a pervert in the bathroom!" Akane yelled, hefting the stone a
little higher.
"And you need that rock, why?"
Akane looked at the rock, then at Nabiki, again at the rock, and then
defiantly said, "Because I'm afraid!"
"A pervert you cry, and thus I hear," Tatewaki exclaimed, and lept into the
house to head up the stairs. He pulled a bokken from seemingly nowhere and
held it at the ready. "To protect these maidens, be glad I'm near!"
Akane looked at Tatewaki in surprise, not sure whether to be angry or
flattered.
"What happened to Ranma?" Kasumi wondered.
"Umm..." the girls looked over to see a handsome young man standing at the
bottom of the stairs, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.
"I'm Ranma Saotome," he said. "Sorry about this."
***
"Perhaps we should try the introductions again," Soun said wearily. He
pointed to an older heavyset man, one who had air of experience and skill.
The man wore glasses and an old white gi. "This is my old friend, Genma
Saotome." Next, he indicated the young man who wore a red chinese shirt and
black pants beside him. "This is his son, Ranma Saotome." Before the girls
could say anything, he went on to the handsome young man who sat beside
Ranma, who wore a white gi and blue hakama. "His nephew, Tatewaki Saotome."
Finally, he pointed to Kodachi. "And you know Kodachi Saotome, Genma's
neice."
"What's going on here?" Nabiki demanded, her eyes narrowed. While the two
boys in front of her were cute and all, she wanted that blonde hunk back.
"Are you really that girl?" Kasumi asked Ranma. "And you're that nice
blonde man?" she asked Tatewaki.
"Perhaps I should demonstrate," Kodachi sighed. With that, she picked up
her brother and tosed him into the pond behind the house. "Add water,
instant idiot."
With injured dignity, the now gaijin Kuno stepped out of the pond. "That is
Poet, and you know it-oww!" he yelped as Kodachi quickly yanked a kettle
from beside Genma and poured the contents on him. "It is hot water, sister,
not boiling."
"This is so weird," Nabiki said.
"Whatver you say, brother dear," Kodachi agreed, and went to grab Ranma, but
the boy rolled away.
"Oh, no you don't!" he barked. "I'm not taking a dive-yaaaaa!" A splash,
and a red-haired girl shot to the surface. "You old cheat!" she shouted at
Genma, who was dusting his hands.
"There," Genma said with satisfaction. "As you can see, I must live with
the shame of a son who turns into a girl." He paused, and then said
pointedly, "and whines like one too."
"Oh really?" Kodachi steamed, and with a textbook Judo throw, tossed the man
into the pool Ranma just vacated. "Have anything to say now, panda?"
"Otousan," Kasumi asked plaintively. "Why do you know these people?"
"They weren't like this before they went to China and undertook that
terrifying exercise!" he defended.
"What exercise?" demanded Nabiki.
***
A few kettles later, they once again sat in relative peace and order. "It
was to a place named Jusenkyo, or the Pools of Sorrow," Tatewaki began.
"Ojiisan, in yet another foolish moment, took us there to train."
Genma sniffed. "Well how was I to know?"
"You could have read the brochure!" Kodachi shouted.
"But I don't know any Chinese!" Genma's three proteges exchanged a look and
proceeded to throw him back into the pond. [Is this any way to treat your
sensei?] A trio of derisive snorts was the panda's only response.
"With Ojiisan as our leader," Tatewaki continued, "we were, of course,
unknowing of the danger of the area. During the combat, Ojiisan, Ranma, and
I each managed to fall into a different pool, and were thus cursed."
"Let me get this straight," Nabiki said. "Ranma changes into a gaijin girl,
Saotome-san turns into a panda, and you turn into a gaijin man?"
"Not quite, Tendo-san," Tatewaki replied. "I have fallen into ??????????,
the Pool of Drowned Poet."
"Drowned BAD Poet," Kodachi added, shuddering. "All he does is speak in bad
rhymes and writes bad poetry."
"Critics," Tatewaki sniffed in an injured voice.
"So hot water turns you back, eh?" Soun smiled, pouring the water on the
panda.
"As the boy said, HOT not BOILING," the now-human Genma winced.
Soun tried to pour water on Ranma-chan, who skipped out of the way before
the scalding water oculd strike her. Giving up, Soun put his arm around the
redheaded girl and patted her on the shoulder. "Well, your problem isn't so
bad after all!" He pointed to his daughters. "Kasumi, 19; Nabiki, 17; and
Akane 16. Pick the one you want, she's your fiancee."
"WHAT?!" Ranma howled.
"Oh, he wants Akane," Kasumi quickly said.
"Definitely," echoed Nabiki.
Akane gave her sisters a look of angry betrayal. "Why on earth would I-"
"Well, you hate boys," Nabiki countered.
"And he's half-girl," Kasumi added.
"HOLD IT!" Ranma roared. "I AIN'T MARRYING NOBODY!"
"Quite right," Tatewaki agreed. "This is most improper, Ojiisan. If there
must be a betrothal, Ranma should not be involved."
"Brother," Kodachi said quietly. "For your own good, please shut up."
Soun put his face into Ranma's. "This is a matter of family honor, boy..."
Ranma stared right back as she interrupted. "I'm already married."
The Tendo girls breathed a sigh of relief. *Thank Kami-sama!*
Soun's mouth worked for a second and then he sat down wailing. "Our
families will never be joined!" he turned a betrayed gaze on Genma. "Old
friend, how could you let him get married?"
"Well, it wasn't really my choice," Genma said miserably, then brightened.
"He's not officially married yet! I got him out of that before the marriage
could be consumated!"
Soun's tears dried up quickly. "Then...then...he CAN-"
"Dishonorable nonsense," Tatewaki growled, and all eyes went to him.
"Ojiisan, this is the height of dishonor, even for you. Would you have
Ranma's personal honor be destroyed? What of his bride's? This is a
travesty, especially when there is another solution available."
Kodachi put her head in her hands. "Oh, no. Here we go."
"Uh, 'Niisan," Ranma began, "I appreciate the help and all, but what are you
doing?"
"Do tell, boy," Genma said interestedly. "What do you have in mind?"
"Since this is to be a joining of families, and I am an unmarried Saotome,
would it not make sense if it was I who was engaged to one of these three
beautiful maidens?"
"Oh, brother," Kodachi sighed under her breath. "You are SUCH an idiot at
times."
Ranma gaped at Tatewaki. "Are you nuts?"
Genma and Soun exchanged a look. "He does have a point," Genma allowed,
"not to mention the fact that the boy is a little better in your field of
Anything Goes."
"He seems to be an honorable lad," Soun added. "Tell me, old friend, would
you say he's a good lad?"
Ranma snorted. "Oh this is rich. Oyaji vouching for someone's virtue."
With a withering glance at his son, Genma replied. "Indeed, Tendo. A fine
young man, honorable, skilled, noble throughout."
"Fine then!" said Soun, and the two men shook hands. "Tatewaki was it?
Yes, he will be engaged to one of my girls..." he turned and gave his girls
a considering look.
"Oh, Nabiki wants him," Akane said dryly, a smug on her face.
"Me?!" Nabiki said in a panicked voice. "No, Kasumi would be a better
choice for a guy like him!"
Tatewaki cleared his throat. "Perhaps, Tendo-sama," he said to Soun, "it
would be wise for us to forestall that decision until I have gotten to know
your daughters better? I can see they are all fair creatures, but while the
beauty of the flesh is a fine thing, it is the soul within that matters, be
it gentle or fierce, wise or pure, humble or strong."
*Not bad,* Nabiki said to herself. "Not bad at all."
"Oh my," Kasumi breathed, "he's good."
"Then it's settled!" Soun slapped Tatewaki on the back, making the young man
stumble. "You shall get to know them better, and then decide on which you
would like to marry."
"Congratulations, brother dear," Kodachi said in a disgusted voice.
Ranma chuckled. "Good luck, 'Niisan," she said. "Now that this is settled,
I can go back to Shampoo."
"Shampoo?" Akane demanded. "What does that have to do with anything."
"Shampoo's a who, Akane-chan," Kodachi sighed.
"Ranma's wife?" Nabiki asked.
Just then, the wall to the dojo exploded inwards, showing a beautiful girl
in a tight purple bodysuit and purple hair. She weilded two large maces,
the business end large spheres of steel.
For the record, she did NOT look happy.
"That fair warrior is Shampoo," Tatewaki supplied.
"Shampoo!" Ranma cheered joyfully, and ran towards the girl with arms
wide...barely managing to dodge a swipe from one of the bonbori. "What
the-"
"Airen!" Shampoo roared. "You I KILL!"
As she chased Ranma out into the back yard, Kodachi said wryly, "Ah, marital
bliss."
***************
Afterword:
Before anyone asks about the intro, this is part of Wade's Altered
Destinies, hence I'm using his setup. Deal.
Chapter 2 is about...umm....1/3 to 1/2 done. I'm still working out how the
first school day goes.
And yes, there will be a skating scene...of sorts. *Insert Evil Maniacal
Laughter here*
--
Christopher 'God-Boy' Angel
http://angel.megami.net