At 11:29 AM 2/9/00 -0600, Colleen Leah Morgan wrote:
On Wed, 9 Feb 2000, Scott Schimmel wrote:
Pale Reflections
a Hime-chan's Ribbon fanfic by
Scott Schimmel
SQUEE! Hime-chan!!
It seems it's more popular than I'd anticipated. ^_^
If it had been Daichi saying those words to me...
On first reading, I was definitely very interested and confused. For
most of the fic I thought it was the Princess. Poor Himeko. :(
I confess I was being deliberately misleading throughout. Though
I never thought of Erika as a "suspect." I thought people might
wonder whether it was Hikaru, or maybe the idol-wannabe...
<snip>
Of all of us, she's the one who's changed most, I
think. Even more than I have. She was the most practical,
down-to-earth one, but now she's more cynical, even acerbic.
That sense of humor is as strong as ever, though, and much
more strange at times.
Then she started that stand-up routine, and got in a fist fight with
Margaret Cho!
Hehe. You know, I can picture that...
The clothes, the music, the dance; it reminded me of
long ago. But that had been a dream to me; this was real.
Daichi was real. His arms around me, real; his steps
smoothly, gracefully, guiding my own so that they seemed as
natural as walking. Real. I melted into his embrace and
prayed that it would never end.
This is a very good and sad contrast. Real when the person is not.
Yeah; I think part of the reason I ended up writing this was that
I wasn't entirely clear about the nature of the double. She seems
to have a different personality, and she's taken initiative on her
own at least once -- so just how much of an individual is she?
Now, we stand before a wooden door in a sterile
hallway; even the lighting seems pale and antiseptic. It's
a stark contrast to the frivolous decoration of yesterday.
He is beside me, and takes my hand; seeking or offering
comfort, I cannot tell which. Perhaps both.
Maybe contrast and compare the whites of the wedding to the whites
of the bed linens? White means transition or death, after all.
Good call. I'm surprised that didn't occur to me while I was
writing it, but I think I'll definitely have to make a mention
of it when I revise. Thanks.
She hasn't changed at all since the last time; there's
no sign she's so much as moved. Her body is still, a fly
trapped within a web of medical equipment and monitors,
slowly wasting away -- she looks pale and thin, though no
worse than she had. At the same time, somehow, she looks
almost angelic; she seems utterly at peace. I find myself
profoundly thankful for that as I whisper, "Hime-chan..."
POKOTA: Hime-chaaaaaaan!
What happened to Hime-chan? She gets better right? Wahh!
I intentionally left that wide open. Pick the ending you want. ^_-
"Hai," I whisper back, and embrace the magic as it
crashes over me.
Then Hime-chan bounces back up, marries Daichi and they all live happily
ever after.
Definitely a possibility. I think maybe I didn't manage to convey
clearly enough her/their situation. I'll have to think on that...
Seriously, thank you very much for sharing this, it hurts me to see a
character that I adore so much in pain, but it was wonderfully
written. Then again, look at what I'm writing. ;) Maybe you can have
Pokota the rag lion with her, as the stuffed animal. Or is he with
Pink-chan? So many questions!
I left out Pokota since I didn't feel his reactions would add
anything substantial to the story. (Erika got left out for the
same reason.) The time-frame I'd selected wasn't just coincidence;
naturally, the characters would have to be old enough to marry,
but also, enough time has to have passed for Erika, Pokota, Himeko,
and Daichi to have accepted, on some level, the situation. At the
same time, there has to be some hope for Hime-chan... it's a delicate
balance, and one I'm not at all sure I'm walking properly.
At any rate, thanks for taking the time to comment; I appreciate it.
Scott Schimmel Ex ignorantia ad sapientium;
Ex luce ad tenebras
"You really aren't normal, are you?" - Miki Koishikawa