At 06:49 PM 2/9/00 -0800, Richard Beaubien wrote:
On Wed, 9 Feb 2000, Scott Schimmel wrote:
Pale Reflections
a Hime-chan's Ribbon fanfic by
Scott Schimmel
Whee...Another Hime-chan's fic, and this one a pure one..WAI!! WAI!!
WAI!!!
I should thank you for it. I probably would never have written
this if I hadn't read "Moonlight and Cherry Blossoms."
I was quite surprised to see you post another Hime-chan fic
just as I was finishing this one, though. Not unpleasantly,
mind you.
*SNIP*
The clothes, the music, the dance; it reminded me of
long ago. But that had been a dream to me; this was real.
Daichi was real. His arms around me, real; his steps
smoothly, gracefully, guiding my own so that they seemed as
natural as walking. Real. I melted into his embrace and
prayed that it would never end.
I really, really like this passage. It reveals enough to intrigue, but
hides enough to pique curosity for later. So I really like how this was
handled...:)
Thanks. ^_-
*SNIP*
"You're thinking about her, aren't you?" It wasn't
really a question; like I said, his eyes give him away. But
I asked anyway, and he nodded. My poor Daichi. Still in
mourning.
Hmm...I like how your setting this up so far, as it seems to be setting up
a nice impossible relationship between two..:P
Well, it is and it isn't. It's not a very comfortable situation to
be in, either way. It's probably even worse for Daichi; I imagine
he constantly doubted his feelings and motives.
Perhaps if I were Hime-chan, he wouldn't mind, but I realize
that I can't offer him as much comfort as she might have.
Even now. He may have come to love me, but it looks like
I'll always be in Hime-chan's shadow. "It's not your
fault."
Kinda of reminds a bit of Maison her a bit, only this time the love
intrest is still alive a bit (Thus there is a bit of hope). Thus it isn't
as easy for Daichit o make a clean break here...Intriguing...:)
(And one has to wonder how Kyoko would have proceded if Soichiro was still
alive like this...)
I don't think Kyoko would have given up hope. She was reluctant
enough as it was...
Godai would probably have ended up with Kozue (which might make
for an interesting short, come to think of it...), or maybe with
Ibuki (which I've already written, sort of). Depends on just how
long he persists, I guess; if he gives up relatively early, he
probably accepts Kozue. If he sticks with it long enough to get
to be a student teacher, then he meets Ibuki, who is rather more
focused and aggressive than Kozue; the longer he waits, the more
likely Ibuki manages to replace Kozue as second choice. (Sounds
pretty cold, doesn't it?)
I wonder what Mitaka would do differently. If anything.
Don't know what brought that on, really.
It worked though, as I really liked it. I didn't know how I would take to
a dark-flavored Hime-chan's fic, but I really like this fic. Thanks for
sharing, and do more Hime-chan (We need more authors doing Hime-chan...:)
I didn't think it was that dark... ^_^;;;
Glad you liked it, though. I'm not sure yet what else I'd do
with Hime-chan, but it's a possibility.
Thanks for commenting.
Scott Schimmel Ex ignorantia ad sapientium;
Ex luce ad tenebras
"You really aren't normal, are you?" - Miki Koishikawa