The fic itself wasn't bad. I was really interested
there... until the end... The end just doesn't
really
go well. I didn't understand it. It left me
scratching
my head, but not in a good way. It wasn't funny
and
it
kind of ruined it almost to the point of
annoyance.
I
really think it could be done better. The writing
was
good and the idea was cute, though.
Sakuya-sama ^_^ no Jurai
I'd have to agree that the ending was bad, but a
cute
shortfic nonetheless...
Well here goes...
KRAKABOOM!
"Damn! Is there no end to this?" Ranma gasped as he
nearly fell forward out of shear exhaustion. Only
through shear force of will was he able to stand up
as
another brilliant flash of light shimered a few
meters
away from him.
"Oh shit!" If this one was as bad as the last one,
then I'm a goner(sp?) for sure. The last one had
used
some sort of chi power up that colored his hair gold
and made him super strong, it hadn't taken me long
to
figure it out and use the same technigue against
him,
and beat him, but it sure as hell took out a lot out
of me. This is going to be a fight for my life...
Reaching a climax, the light slowly dimmed, Ranma's
eyes adjusting so as he saw his next opponents faint
outline, which slowly grew sharper as the minutes
passed.
He was big, he was mean, he was Ryouga #2001
"Ranma Saotome..."he said slowly, voice sheathed in
cold ice, veiling his unannounced threat underneath.
"Yeah..."
"For the you crimes you did against my
father..."(Damn
how many children does Ryouga have? He sure has been
busy since I last met him.)
"Wait a minute here, I'm sick and tired of this
whole
game. Just what did I do to you guys that you'd come
after me one by one!"
At this, Ryouga #2001 seemed to break, his cold
facade
shaking as he tried to maintain a mask of ice. But
it
wasn't meant to hold...
"HOW COULD YOU! WHY! TELL ME! WHY DID YOU DO IT!"
"What did I do?" Ranma asked perplexed.
"MOTHER! WHY DID YOU ABANDON US!"
^_^
~ Kahlil Noriega
Not quite the ending I would have expected. I don't
think the author would have either ^^;, but it is
rather funny (despite how sickening it is...).
Sakuya-sama ^_^ no Jurai
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