I suddenly had the urge to do some C&C on a Ranma fic (I hadn't done any in
a looong time - well, public that is). So here's some ...
You know, the hardest part was finding a fic I liked first ... where has all
the comedic Ranma gone? It actually makes me want to start seriously writing
Ranma stuff again =P (actually I have already started - if that's good or
bad news, you decide).
Goman Nasai... I couldn't stop myself.
Kenko/Robert Haynie-- Author of Girl Days, Paragon, Redheads,
and War and Peace-- Gomen, no the last was Leo Tolstoy. Well,
I was CLOSE...
You know, that sig gets tiring. I think you should change it more often like
your "disclaimers" =P
Fairy Tales for Otaku Number Two:
Little Red Riding Hood 1/2
Hahaha ... I love fics like these ...
By Robert Haynie
(And the characters mostly belong to Rumiko Takahashi, except
those who don't, and the wolf who belongs to the zoo.)
Who first made up Red Riding Hood anyway? Careful or they could come sue you
^_^. I'm pretty sure the Zoo doesn't own the rights to LRRH ...
####
Once upon a time, in a little cottage in the woods, there lived a
kindly not-exactly-old man and his three daughters and his future
son-in-law and a freeloading panda. They lived together in peace and
harmony, and--
*WHAM! CRASH! BOOM! THUMP! ZYINGYINGYING! WHOMP!*
Well, they lived together in peace and harmony unless there was a
fight going on.
One day, the kindly old father called his daughters and his
future son-in-law who was sometimes not so much of a son-- but that's
another story-- and said, "I want one of you three to take a basket
of cheese, bread, and sake to your poor old grandfather, who is
feeling poorly."
Ooh, I wonder who the grandfather is *_*
<snippy tom>
And the youngest daughter said "That old pervert is NOT my
grandfather, and I'm not going anywhere NEAR him."
Missed a comma there (said) just to be nitpicky ...
"Akane, you are the only one left who I can afford. And do not
fear, for I shall send your brave and handsome--"
"WAH_HA_HA_HAIEEE!" *SPLASH!*
"When not beautiful-- fianc� to guard you from the evil wolves
that live in the forest."
You might want to lay off the accented e's because sometimes it shows up as
rubbish on people's comps.
"I'm gonna hate this story, aren't I?" asked the brave and
downright stacked fianc� as she wandered into the house, thoroughly
damp. "Bad enough that instead of a koi pond we're in some weird
western cottage and I got thrown in a well. You want me to bodyguard
the tomboy too? Ain't there supposed to be a woodcutter or
something?"
"Watch out for the fourth wall, baka," whispered Akane.
"Like I care. This has GOT to be the stupidest thing outside of
a lemon I have EVER been involved in. If it weren't for the respect
that this writer usually gives me, I'd--"
Actually, Ranma should be used to it. Even Takahashi made up stupidly silly
plot lines - like the panda drawing that escaped from the painting >_<.
Still, I like the style =)
At this point, the fourth wall crumbled, and part of the roof
fell in, causing much annoyance to the members of the household,
except for the eldest daughter, who liked to clean.
And so the fight began again.
What fight? It doesn't seem like it fits here after the house fell ... hmm
actually reading that bit more carefully only part of the roof fell ... it
might have been more funny if the entire house collapsed =D
<snippy tom>
"Mister wolf?" Akane asked.
"And in what manner can I be of some small service to two such
lovely maidens?" replied the wolf.
"Do you know the way to Grandfather Happosai's House?" Akane
asked.
You might want to change the "Akane asked" to something else. Repitition and
all that ...
"Why, certainly. 'Tis that path there, which goes around the
mountain and across the stream and through the bracken and over the
till and under the bridge
Ooh, do they see the three billy goats gruff and the troll?
There's an idea for the sequel ...=)
and past the fairy grove," the wolf pointed
out helpfully.
"Seems a long way to me," muttered Little Red Riding Hood.
"Well, perchance it is, fair pig-tailed maiden, but the scenery
makes it worth it."
"makes it worth it"?
Tis not the genuine way a Kuno would speak =). Even a Wolfish Kuno ...
"I'm in no real hurry," Akane noted. Little Red Riding Hood
thought, agreed, and the two set upon the road.
Might want to split a line after Akane noting whatever it is she's noting
...
And have LRRH say something instead of that line which seems a bit confusing
and fiddly.
The wolf then smiled. "Ah, little do they know that I can easily
gain my path to that very domicile in a few short minutes by a
short-cut that only I know of. And then... yet which one? For the
dark-haired one is meatier, somewhat, yet the pig-tailed one is
belike better flavored... Ah, I cannot decide! I shall eat them
both!"
I was chuckling out loud at this =) Your wolf is very in-character here ...
<snippy tom>
"Sweeto," he murmured happily. "But... I don't have a 1994 Black
Lace Teddy with Hand Appliques On The Chest From Spencer's Of Tokyo.
Looks like I have to go out again."
Ooh, I want one!
Errr .. excuse me =)
Donning an outfit that could only be described as eccentric
(Well, it could also be described as stupid, impractical, and
basically dumb) Grandfather went out to ste-- ah, acquire a 1994
Black Lace Teddy with Hand Appliques On The Chest From Spencer's Of
Tokyo. (Some time later, this resulted in his getting the hell beat
out of him by Snow White, but that's another story.)
Snow White lives in Tokyo? =)
A few minutes later, the wolf arrived. Noting that Red Hiding
Hood and Akane would be arriving soon, he quickly donned some of the
old per-- ah, elderly man's clothing as a disguise. Since the wolf
was about three times the old man's size, the result was that he
looked like a complete and utter moron.
Um ... I'd actually say 6 or 7 times (or even more) larger than little Happy
... unless Kuno Wolf was the runt of the litter ...
Getting into bed, he waited. Sure enough Little Red Riding Hood
and Akane arrived.
And stared.
"Oh, PLEASE," Red Riding Hood said.
It's Little Red Riding Hood!
</nitpick>
"Honestly, this has got to be the silliest thing I have ever
seen," Akane noted. "Well, there's no help for it."
And Akane sure does love to note... Even Kuno Wolf too, who probably carries
a notebook around...
Sorry, just something that stuck out a bit =)
<snippy tom>
"THE BETTER TO EAT YOU WITH--OWIE!" the wolf shouted, as Akane
hit him with the bottle of sake, there being no convenient mallet.
"PERVERT!" screamed Akane.
"Huh?" mumbled the wolf.
"You PERVERT! You said--"
"I KNOW what I said, dark-haired maiden. But what's perverse
about wanting to eat a little girl? I'm a wolf, that's what we DO."
"I don't think he meant it in an ecchi sense, Akane. I think he
meant it literally."
Heh...
"Thank you for explaining that-- say. I just thought of
something. When you talked about my eyes, you poked one. When you
talked about my ears, you pulled them. When you talked about my
nose, you pinched it. But when you talked about my teeth, you didn't
do anything..."
"Gomen Nasai. Let me correct that oversight," Little Red Riding
Hood said, cracking her knuckles.
####
Gourry Gabriev was looking for Lina. He would find her in about
four hours and one story back, but for now was distracted by what
sounded very much like a little red headed girl
red-headed
<snippy tom>
Later Grandfather came home to find that home was not there to
come to, that all of his collection was scattered across the woods,
and that there was a basket with bread, cheese, and sake lying in the
middle of the wreckage.
"Oh, not ANOTHER wolf. Fourth one this year..."
And that, Otaku-chan, is the end of THAT story.
Very entertaining! Good job. It's a welcome change from all these
angst-ridden Ranma fics ...
Seeya and keep writing ... the list NEEDS more humour ... especially in its
predominant series ...
~Ace
- http://jsa.users.fl.net.au