> > What's the point? This is basically the same
thing repeated four times
with a little change each time. You don't
explain anything about why
this is happening, and there really isn't any
characters to speak of. I
mean, if this was the start of a series, I'd say
this idea might have
merit, but it doesn't make any sense as a
shortfic.
I'm going to have to disagree with you, and say
that this was a pretty
good
shortfic. A shortfic isn't supposed to be some
great piece of literature
that people hundreds of years later would
recommend as one of the most
brilliant piece of fiction written. This
particuluar shortfic was a very
simple, cute, and humorous piece of fiction; the
whole purpose of which
was
to make you laugh or grin. Nothing more, nothing
less. At least that's
the
impression that I got when I read this. I think
you were trying to get
more
from the piece of work then there actually is.
And I agree with CCMax. I think this was even more
entertaining than some of
the other Ranma fics posted recently.
The only problem as I see is that the fic lacked a
good punchline ... like
there really wasn't an end to it ... unless of
course the never-ending
aspect of it was the end =P
By the way, you might want a title to the story.
Something to do with
vengeance maybe?
Cya,
~Ace
The fic itself wasn't bad. I was really interested
there... until the end... The end just doesn't really
go well. I didn't understand it. It left me scratching
my head, but not in a good way. It wasn't funny and it
kind of ruined it almost to the point of annoyance. I
really think it could be done better. The writing was
good and the idea was cute, though.
Sakuya-sama ^_^ no Jurai
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