On Wed, 9 Feb 2000, Scott Schimmel wrote:
Pale Reflections
a Hime-chan's Ribbon fanfic by
Scott Schimmel
Whee...Another Hime-chan's fic, and this one a pure one..WAI!! WAI!!
WAI!!!
*SNIP*
The clothes, the music, the dance; it reminded me of
long ago. But that had been a dream to me; this was real.
Daichi was real. His arms around me, real; his steps
smoothly, gracefully, guiding my own so that they seemed as
natural as walking. Real. I melted into his embrace and
prayed that it would never end.
I really, really like this passage. It reveals enough to intrigue, but
hides enough to pique curosity for later. So I really like how this was
handled...:)
*SNIP*
"You're thinking about her, aren't you?" It wasn't
really a question; like I said, his eyes give him away. But
I asked anyway, and he nodded. My poor Daichi. Still in
mourning.
Hmm...I like how your setting this up so far, as it seems to be setting up
a nice impossible relationship between two..:P
Perhaps if I were Hime-chan, he wouldn't mind, but I realize
that I can't offer him as much comfort as she might have.
Even now. He may have come to love me, but it looks like
I'll always be in Hime-chan's shadow. "It's not your
fault."
Kinda of reminds a bit of Maison her a bit, only this time the love
intrest is still alive a bit (Thus there is a bit of hope). Thus it isn't
as easy for Daichit o make a clean break here...Intriguing...:)
(And one has to wonder how Kyoko would have proceded if Soichiro was still
alive like this...)
"Today," I affirm. "And maybe-- I hope you'll have
Hime-chan back." Taking a deep breath, I try not to cry.
"You'll remember me, won't you?" It isn't really a
question, but I ask anyway, in a sudden fit of
vulnerability.
"I love you," he says. Answer enough.
Man...That's deep...And effective...
Don't know what brought that on, really.
It worked though, as I really liked it. I didn't know how I would take to
a dark-flavored Hime-chan's fic, but I really like this fic. Thanks for
sharing, and do more Hime-chan (We need more authors doing Hime-chan...:)
Ja ne!!
Richard Beaubien
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Suzuki Arimi, Mizuno Ami, Aya-san forever!!!! WAI!!!
Fanfic homepage http://www.anime.sobhrach.com/~beaubird/