On Wed, 9 Feb 2000, Noriega Kahlil wrote:
I'd have to agree that the ending was bad, but a cute
shortfic nonetheless...
Actually, I thought that the whole fic could have used a little more
description, but overall, I agree with you.
"Oh shit!" If this one was as bad as the last one,
then I'm a goner(sp?) for sure.
Spelling looks right.
The last one had used
some sort of chi power up that colored his hair gold
and made him super strong, it hadn't taken me long to
figure it out and use the same technigue against him,
and beat him, but it sure as hell took out a lot out
of me.
First comma should be a period.
Does Ranma have a tail?
Reaching a climax, the light slowly dimmed, Ranma's
eyes adjusting so as he saw his next opponents faint
outline, which slowly grew sharper as the minutes
passed.
opponents = opponent's
"For the you crimes you did against my father..."(Damn
how many children does Ryouga have? He sure has been
busy since I last met him.)
I deleted the fic already, but I thought that it was a father, the son,
the grandson, etc. which, if true, would refute the ending.
At this, Ryouga #2001 seemed to break, his cold facade
shaking as he tried to maintain a mask of ice. But it
wasn't meant to hold...
I think you transposed 'shake' and 'break'.
"HOW COULD YOU! WHY! TELL ME! WHY DID YOU DO IT!"
"What did I do?" Ranma asked perplexed.
"MOTHER! WHY DID YOU ABANDON US!"
^_^
^_^
Of course, I find it somewhat disturbing that children would beat up their
mother. Still funny, though.
-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble. A few more shots, then
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode. Ducking around a corner,
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of
my Anime supplier.
One look at his face and I knew that I had been betrayed. "Tell me,"
I insisted. He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance. Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao," he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...