Standard disclaimers apply.

This is done in bad taste, but in some sort of good way.  I was reading some old back issues of Yojimbo and since an old friend happened to send me a really old samurai joke, I had to incorporate the two...  x.x

Here's what came out of my silly, sick brain.


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  He really didn't want to go out, but since they'd insisted, he couldn't very well refuse such a generous offer.  It'd been a while since he'd had shabu shabu, and the prospect of having it, and having it paid for was rather appealing.  Still, he didn't like appearing in public often.
  "So where do you come from, Usagi-san?" Yohiko asked.  "Your technique is amazing!"
  Usagi blinked and thought ruefully for a moment.
  "I come from a lot of places," he answered with a smile.
  Yohiko frowned at the enigmatic answer.  Kenshin laughed.
  "Sou ka," Kenshin countered.  "You are a ronin at heart, ne Usagi-san."
  Usagi smiled and nodded, his ear-topknot bobbing slightly.
  Kaoru nudged Kenshin gently, getting his attention.
  "Where do you think Usagi-san is from?" she whispered.
  Kenshin shrugged.  The style was familiar, yet he couldn't place his finger on it.  Before he could say anything, Yohiko stopped abruptly, bumping into him.
  "Here we go!  I haven't visited here in a little while!" Yohiko said enthusiastically.
  Sanosuke nodded his head with equal enthusiasm and raced the younger one in the doors.  Kaoru, Kenshin, and Usagi walked in after the pair.
  "Where did you meet this one?" a waitress whispered to Kaoru.  "He wears such an amazing mask!  I've never seen one so well crafted before!"
  Kaoru simply nodded vigorously and walked to the table.

  The meal was uneventful, to say the least.  Yohiko and Sanosuke competed in speed eating as if it were an Olympic event.  Kaoru and Kenshin chatted merrily, asking Usagi question every so often.  Usagi answered politely to each inquiry, feeling free enough to supply them with whatever information they desired; and by the end of the meal, everyone seemed as if such a friendly meal were a regular occurance.
  As Sanosuke picked at his teeth with a small toothpick, he noticed a pair of drunk patrons at an adjoining table arguing incoherently.  YOhiko noticed Sanosuke staring and looked the same way.
  "Can't people leave when they've finished drinking their wits away?" he muttered.
  "People will be people," Usagi mumbled and sipped his soup quietly.
  Sanosuke noticed a waitress try to calm the drinking patrons, only to receive the brunt of the yelling herself.
  "Oi!  Quit yelling.  It doesn't help my digestion," he shouted.
  The drunk patrons turned and stomped over to the booth Sanosuke and his friends sat at.
  "Che!  What kind of trash are ya ta tell ush what to do?" one slurred.
  "Thas right!" the other shouted.  "We're shamurai!"
  Before Sanosuke could shout a reply, Usagi looked over the drunk pair and simply clucked his tongue before going back to his soup.
  "Wha're ya lookin' at, bunny-rabbit?" the two slurred in unison.
  "Oro," Kenshin mumbled nervously.  "We're not trying to cause any trouble, gentlemen.  Sorry to have caused you any trouble," he said, trying to wave them off as quickly as possible.
  "Hey!  They've got shords!" the shorter of the two drunkards shouted.
  "Ha!  I bet I'm bettern ya!" the taller boasted.
  "Koji here can draw faster than anyone in the province, sept me!" the short one boasted.
  "Shuddup, Yoshio!" the taller one bellowed.
  "I can split three flies in the blink of an eye!" Koji roared.
  Usagi quietly placed his small bowl of soup on the table with a soft, hollow thud.  As he reached for his daishou, the other two stared at him.
  "You challengin' ush?" Yoshio asked.
  Usagi simply took a calm breath and stared at the fly that had stared circling around their booth.  There was a quiet swishing noise and the fly buzzed away as Usagi quietly finished his notou, fitting the sword snugly back in the saya.
  "Whas thas supposed ta prove!  You din' kill it!"
  Usagi waved his hands at them, and before the pair could say a word, their clothes  slowly fell into tatters around them.  The drunk pair stumbled over each other, bolting for the exit while Usagi returned to his soup.  The other patrons laughed loudly as the shameful pair made their exit.
  "That's impressive, Usagi-san," Kenshin said with a smile.
  "I bet you would have gone for all the flies in the room, ne Kenshin," Yohiko said with a laugh.
  "Maybe it wuld have been more impressive if he'd cut the fly in two clean pieces-" Kaoru started.
  "But it will never have children ever again," Usagi murmured quietly, interrupting her.
  Sanosuke shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
  Yohiko fell over with a groan.
  "Oro," Kenshin mumbled, "I-I never learned that waza."
  Kaoru just smiled.
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