This is a little shortfic I came up with while thinking about
Naria, the character in my story, Slayers: Double! I thought
it'd be interesting to see what she was like before she met
up with the Slayers gang and here is the product of my
caffiene high brain. I warn you that unlike most people I
do not get extremely hyper when under caffiene influence,
I get poetic, so bear with me. ^^;;
Send C&C to TaliaShimae@juno.com and all replies, both
public and private are welcome. ^_^
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: Sidestory.txt
DISCLAIMER: All these characters belong to me for once.
If you'd like to use them, ask me first. I won't sue you
though. I'm a nice person.
A Slayers: Double! and A Past to be Forgotten Sidestory
Who Am I Really?
By Murasakikaze
I open my eyes to find only darkness looming up before me.
The silence of it all...the utter loneliness. I have no name. I have
no identity. I am me, but I am no one...who am I? Somewhere in
the recesses of my mind I hear the steady ticking of a watch and
someone counting down from thirty. Meaningless words from
unknown faces, none of which could tell me if I once had a
name...if I once had an identity. No one can tell me who I am.
"Wake up...come on, wake up!" someone shouts angrily and I
comply, opening my eyes for real. My vision is distorted and I
realize that I'm looking through water or something resembling
water. My mind begins to panic, but my body remains calm,
breathing the liquid in as naturally as one breathes air. I am
surprised to find that I truly can breathe and slowly relax. "She's
alive...it worked!"
The person turns away and I catch a glimpse of hair the color of
leaves. No words register a name for this person holding me
within this glass prison and I can only wait for them to release
me. They press their hands eagerly against the top of my cage
and stare down at me, a slow smile spreading across their foxlike
features. They mouth something to me, but I can't understand
what they are saying.
Another voice floats to me and I turn my eyes in their direction. A
tall blonde is standing at a glowing table and asking my tormentor
a question. He shakes his head and knocks on the glass lightly.
I blink and look up at them, not quite knowing what I'm supposed
to do. Again they knock on the cage and suddenly their face
twists into a scowl.
"She has no mental capacity, Mirai. Change that! Change it
now!" he screams and whirls away from me in disgust. I reach up
to them and knock my hand on my cage's top. They stop and see
my hand raised to them.
"Sir, she needs to learn before anything. She's just a child no
matter what she looks like," Mirai answers, giving me a
sympathetic look. Yet I am still no one. I have no name. I am
just a specimen for them to examine. Something for them to play
with...some type of doll.
The green-haired one nods and depresses a button. "Then teach
her."
He leaves as the watery liquid drains from my prison, returning my
freedom of movement. As soon as the water leaves, the top of my
cage pops open allowing air to rush in. I shiver in the sudden cold
and feel someone lifting me out of the glass box. They wrap a
blanket around me and smile. It is the woman the green-haired
one called Mirai and I try to smile back, only to give her a
completely blank expression. I can understand emotion, but I
can't show it because I still have no name...no identity. I try to get
my mouth to work and finally manage to choke out three words.
"Who...Am...I...?"
Mirai blinks then smiles again. "You are a chimera."
I struggle with the sylables and finally repeat after her. "You...are
a ki-me-ra. Chimera. I am a chimera."
Identity. I am a person. I am a chimera. I am no longer no one.
"Yes, we still have no name for you, but for now we will give you a
nickname. Is that alright?" the woman asks kindly, brushing the
long strands of bluish hair out of my face. I let her words sink in
and repeat after her again.
"Nickname. Name. Now. Give. Alright. Yes, a nickname will
alright." It's frustrating to know that I can only use words I've heard
and not my real vocabulary, but that comes from having no
identity. I know I am a chimera, but who am I really?
Mirai looks puzzled, then smiles again. "A nickname will _be_
alright."
I nod and wait for her to start speaking again. "Can you only use
words you hear?"
"Yes, I can only use words I hear." I glance up at her and watch
as she pulls a comb from a drawer in a nearby desk.
"Let's get you cleaned up, okay?"
"Okay." She motions for me to sit by the desk and I comply,
rather as one obeys a command instead of choosing to be
complient. It's an odd sensation. Mirai begins to brush the water
out of hair and speaks incoherently, letting random words flow out
into my own head. I absorb these words like a sponge and
mentally tuck them away. Abbot. Base. Ball. Calico. White.
Black. Gray. Kako. Tears. Fate. False. Love. Fear. Chimera
One. Clone. Rugandhi. Lei Magnus. Mazoku. Ceiphied.
Shabranigdo. Magic. Spells. Garrou. All these and more. As
she speaks she braids my hair and tells me everything she knows
about the island and its past. Over the next three hours, I learn
everything she knows and as she says, she will ever know.
"You know you are very special," she says and puts the comb
away. "Your nickname is Chimera Two. You are the first
successful clone with which Kako and I can build an entire race.
You are very special, C2."
A name...I have a name. C2. I am C2. Chimera Two. I am no
longer no one. I am a someone, but a someone without a past
Mirai explains. I am an experiment, a test tube child. A person
who was made and nothing more. I will be duplicated and
changed and made better if I should fail. I am expendable.
Expendable...Maybe I am no one even with an identity and a
name. My eyes fall on the floor and Mirai notices this. She
quickly changes the subject and begins to explain about programs
and personalities. I have over 40,000 personalities in me. I am
what she calls a perfected drone chimera, the first of its kind, but
the best. I can do over four million tasks if programmed correctly.
I feel hot tears start to fall from my blue eyes and Mirai stops
abruptly.
"I am a computer," I mumble, gathering the edges of the blanket in
my clenched fists. "I am no one."
Mirai jumps and tries to find some way to assure me that I am a
human being in some respects, but to no avail. Her explanations
told me everything. I am a computer. I am expendable. I am no
one. As the tears continue to fall, I feel her hands go around my
neck gently.
"You need time to think. I'll leave you alone, C2. When you
awaken, you'll have a real name and a purpose. Good luck," Mirai
whispers. There's a tugging sensation at the back of my neck and
my brain feels sluggish, as if someone has introduced a sedative. I
slowly slump to the floor and feel myself start to shut down. I
struggle to turn my head and finally succeed in staring blankly up
at Mirai as she runs from the room. My mouth is still moving
slowly as I try to mouth the words: "What is this? Why?"
~~
I open my eyes again and find a green pasture before me. I
recollect something about Mirai telling me about offline time and
decide not to worry about it. The sun is very warm here and I feel
at peace. My questions are put at ease and I don't need to worry
about identity and names. I do not know it yet, but I will escape to
this world many times within the next seven years.
The clearing is surrounded by leafy trees that sway gently in the
lazy breeze. A few stubborn clouds remain in the perfectly blue
sky and the nearly waist high grass swishes against my legs as I
move through the field. Suddenly childish laughter floats up above
the sound of birds chirping and I turn to find two people running
towards me.
One is a young girl with dark purple hair tied in two pigtails and
golden brown eyes. A pair of shorts and shirt with a handkerchief
as a belt serves as her attire and she looks like she could be no
older than four or five years of age. The woman chasing her is
apparantly her mother. Her slightly graying dark blue hair is tied
back into a long ponytail with her bangs obscuring her face. Her
light beige dress flows around her gracefully. She is the image of
a perfect mother and is busy playing tag with her daughter.
"Okaasama, why is the sky so blue today?" the girl asks as she
stops nearly ten feet from me. They can't see me and I realize
that I must be walking the Astral Plane or seeing a vision of some
sort since computers don't dream.
"The gods are happy today. That's why the sky is so blue," the
woman answers and catches up with her daugther. "Are you
happy today?"
"Hai, Okaasama!" the girl replies, giggling slightly. The woman
laughs and sits down in the grass next to the younger girl.
"Then that's why the sky is blue too."
"Do you think the gods control the sky? Can they make it green
or pink too?" The girl spins around, face to the sky, in speculation.
"I suppose so, little one, but it would look quite odd to have a pink
sky, don't you think?"
The girl snickers and nods. "Hai, I guess you're right."
There is a pause in their conversation and I feel like asking the girl
something when someone hollers at them from across the
clearing. They both turn and the girl runs towards the emerging
figure, squealing in delight. She runs with her arms outstretched
and the stranger kneels down embracing her as she jumps on
him.
"Otousama!! You're home!!" the girl cries, planting kisses on his
cheek.
"Hai, I'm home for quite awhile now," he replies and kisses his
daughter back.
"Good, I'm glad." She smiles and turns back to look at her mother.
"Okaasama, aren't you glad to see that Otousama is home now?"
She stands and nods, smiling softly at the appearance of her
husband. "It's been a long time, Rowan."
He grins slightly and shrugs. "Work has been tough lately. Sorry
about that, dear."
She walks up and kisses him lightly on the cheek before passing
by and continuing into the house. "Lunch is almost ready. Don't
be long."
I frown slightly at this change of pace from the girl's mother. It
seems she lives in this man's shadow and isn't happy to see that
he's returned home after such a long absence. It's odd and I
begin to realize that human emotions are hard to comprehend.
The girl and her father talk for a while and I begin to lose interest
until she says something that triggers a memory of some sort.
"Did you bring me something?" she asks eagerly, clapping her
hands together as a small package is produced.
"When do I not?" he replies and watches as she carefully and
painstakingly unwraps the gift, refolding the paper afterwards and
putting it into her pocket. Her eyes light up as a gold chain is
revealed from within a black velvet box. "This will keep you safe
from everything, Naria-chan. Never take it off, alright?"
The girl nods and lets her father put it on around her neck. "Hai,
Otousama! What does it do?"
"It will keep you away from the bad people that run around in this
world and keep you close to me and your mother. We love you,
Naria-chan."
"I love you too, Otousama," Naria-chan says softly and hugs him
again. I step forward and reach out to them with a hesitant and
shaking hand.
"N-Naria-chan?" I whisper, my other hand reaching up to my neck.
Both people turn to me and the girl begins to walk forward when
her father catches her by the arm and pulls her back.
"Naria-chan, leave those people alone. Sometimes they're not
well in the head. Let's go. Okaasama probably has lunch ready."
Naria casts one last look at me before they both disappear into
the woods. The clearing vanishes and I'm left alone again. It's
impossible...I have no identity! I am a computer! I am no one!
How can I be a person and still be expendable?! I close my eyes
and begin to quiver in anger and fear as darkness consumes me
once more.
~~
I open my eyes and find the light is no longer from the sun but
from an artificial source. I sit up and Mirai is there, sitting at the
edge of the table. I stare at her before I speak and without even
realizing it, name myself.
"Naria-chan..." I murmur and begin to cry again.
~~**~~
Seven years later...
I walk into a group of people and accidently bump into a young girl
with fiery red hair. After finding what I came for I take my leave,
determined to return later on and take him back with me. I would
return with my brother and my past as soon as he breaks away
from the others. It is important. The young raven-haired girl
chases after me asking for my name and I hesitant before
answering her. I'm still not sure of who I am...I am still a doll, but I
am a person. Who am I really?
"Naria! My name's Naria Graywords!"