Keener Barnes wrote:
From: Angus MacSpon <macspon@ihug.co.nz>
Sent: Thursday, February 03, 2000 12:31 PM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [R1/2] untitled
I can't quite decide if this is meant to be a one-shot or not. You do
need
to give some kind of reason for Hinako coming in in the first place; but
otherwise, it could pretty much stand on its own. Hinako's double life
must often lead her to question certain critical aspects of herself, and
the unwitting confirmation she gets from Tofu makes for a rather sweet
ending.
To be honest, when I read this, I got a different sort of fic from you or
Gary. Seems to me this is really a Sting operation on Hinako's part. She
went there to disscuss herself to Tofu, to see if he liked her. It's an old
childhood ploy, where you send someone over to a prospective kootie
container, who asks if they like you or not. At the time, it's childish, and
sweet, later on in life, it becomes freaky and wierd... funny that...
She went there of her own accord, controlled the conversation as you pointed
out... found a convientent fight to get a chance to wiggle it in front of
the good doctor, then came back as a child, to get the test results. Now she
knows, so now she can either persue, or simply smile at the compliment and
go off somewhere to find the "right kinda Deliquent".
Well, no ... and yes. Hinako did come in out of simple curiosity, and
she could hardly have predicted that Ranma and Ryoga would fight right
outside ... but Hinako does develop designs on Tofu pretty quickly, and
she's definitely playing a do-you-like-me game at the end. When Tofu
finally catches on, he essentially dismisses her.
All in all, it was some GREAT writing, good character portrayal, with the
possible exception of Tofu's hat tipping, he was always a wee bit more sly
then that... from his little time on the series.
I did find myself fighting a tendency to write Dr. Tofu as Rupert Giles,
toward the end.
BTW, this is great feedback -- and that goes for Angus, Gary and Phil,
too.
-- David