Subject: [FFML] Re: [R1/2] untitled
From: "Keener Barnes" <otakunxs@bellsouth.net>
Date: 2/3/2000, 4:50 PM
To:

From: Angus MacSpon <macspon@ihug.co.nz>
Sent: Thursday, February 03, 2000 12:31 PM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [R1/2] untitled

<snip>


"I know," said Tofu mildly.  "I opened it."  He set his bags on the
table and considered his guest.  She was tiny, and thin, just barely
into puberty.  Twelve, he guessed, if not younger.  A pretty child, but
Tofu thought she looked frail, as if she'd emerged from a long illness.
"I'm Dr. Tofu," he said, by way of introduction.  "I'm a chiropracter."

"I'm Hinako Ninomiya.  I'm a schoolteacher."

But what's she there for?  You never hint.  Did she just see the door open
and step in out of curiosity, or what?

<snip>

I like the way Hinako more or less takes control of this conversation,
leaving Tofu to discuss things he probably wouldn't normally with a child.

<snip>

Outside, Hinako headed for home.  Fire and lightning, she thought, with
a little toss of her head, then walked on, back held a little
straighter.


-- David

I can't quite decide if this is meant to be a one-shot or not.  You do
need
to give some kind of reason for Hinako coming in in the first place; but
otherwise, it could pretty much stand on its own.  Hinako's double life
must often lead her to question certain critical aspects of herself, and
the unwitting confirmation she gets from Tofu makes for a rather sweet
ending.

To be honest, when I read this, I got a different sort of fic from you or
Gary. Seems to me this is really a Sting operation on Hinako's part. She
went there to disscuss herself to Tofu, to see if he liked her. It's an old
childhood ploy, where you send someone over to a prospective kootie
container, who asks if they like you or not. At the time, it's childish, and
sweet, later on in life, it becomes freaky and wierd... funny that...

She went there of her own accord, controlled the conversation as you pointed
out... found a convientent fight to get a chance to wiggle it in front of
the good doctor, then came back as a child, to get the test results. Now she
knows, so now she can either persue, or simply smile at the compliment and
go off somewhere to find the "right kinda Deliquent".

Does he like me? Let's find out... Oooooh, he does.... hmmmmm...

Had Ranma not found himself virtually swimming in estorgen, one way or the
other, he might have used his curse in a similar fashion.

Ranma-chan, "Hey, there... guys, what do you think of that Ranma guy? Pretty
spiffy, huh?"

Akane, "Blech."

On the other hand, a continuation that explores a friendship, or even a
relatioship, between the two could be well worth exploring too.  Either
way you decide will be fine by me.  :)

All in all, it was some GREAT writing, good character portrayal, with the
possible exception of Tofu's hat tipping, he was always a wee bit more sly
then that... from his little time on the series. It's a great scene, so it
deserves a great fic... now then, get to work ^_-



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