NOTICE
******
As my present ISP has been crappy slow,
I have just set my ffml mail flag to 'vacation';
so, if you find this fanfic is worth a [C&C]
(or whatever), please send it directly to
sailormars@myself.com
. Thanks for your comprehension.
****************************************************************
DISCLAIMER
.
"SailorMoon" and all its characters belong to Takeuchi Naoko,
Kodansha Comics and Toei Animation.
"Game Over" is a copylefted SM fanfic written by Marsia Mariner
--- comments, questions, critiques, whatever,
mailto:sailormars@myself.com --- .
This means this story can be freely copied and redistributed,
as long as:
alpha) it remains unchanged;
omega) its 'disclaimer' and 'about' are not discarded;
.
ABOUT
.
Version:
Revision 6 [February 1st, MM]
Active Characters:
Hino Rei/Sailor Mars
Tomoe Hotaru/Sailor Saturn
Mentioned Characters:
Tsukino Usagi/Sailor Moon
Aino Minako
Tenoh Haruka
Kaiou Michiru
Meioh Setsuna/Sailor Pluto
Chibi-usa
Mistress 9
Time and Place:
*The required ones!*
What else?
Warning! Rei and Hotaru are portrayed 'Out-Of-Character';
They do say swear-words(as many as they *need*);
"Game Over" is *not* hentai;
You've been just warned.
{GAME OVER}
It was 4 P.M. sharp when Hotaru came in Rei's bed-room.
She hadn't said even a simple "hi"; she sat down on Rei's bed and still
could not raise her eyes and look at the face of her friend; she kept
looking at her own knees for a very long and silent while; and she was
sure that Rei had already foreboded what was about to happen in there.
She was absolutely right: two weeks before that day,
Rei began to dream dreams and see visions which showed
something "dreadful" was going to happen between the two of them.
But as for Hotaru, it was only last night she became able to feel that
the time for the ultimate turning point of her life had finally appeared.
She had woken up from a frightening nightmare; her entire body had been
wetted by a cold, freezing, sweat; her breast was aching,
feeling a strong and bitter pressure that came from her heart and
hurt her skin; at first she was unable to move her body or open her eyes, but
some minutes later she could finally get out of that catalepsy, and
immediately burst into tears, the most painful ones she would ever taste.
About fifteen minutes later, she knew exactly what to do ---
from that moment on, there was no other way she could lead her life.
"I won't deny my true self anymore! I will go where my heart wants to take me
--- *with or without her!*" She called Rei on the telephone:
-- Rei?
-- Ya, it's me. Hotaru...
-- I need to talk to someone... No. I need to talk to YOU.
I need to see you... as soon as possible. I mean it, I've got to have
a very serious conversation with you... Please...
Rei tried to get in touch with Hotaru's mind; she closed her eyes and
for a moment focused her attention on a mental picture of Sailor Saturn,
attempting to scan what Hotaru was feeling,... and could only feel that
Hotaru was right; they really had to have that serious conversation;
it had to happen right that same day. Yes, she, Rei, was afraid, too ---
but so what? Didn't her dreams and visions warn her about
what was going to happen between her and Hotaru? She said:
-- Could you come here right today, around 4 P.M.?
-- 4 P.M.?... Ya, it'll be OK for me. Thank you very much, Rei. Sorry for
having disturbed your sleep, but...
-- Don't be. Please. You know I'm your friend. Be here today at 4 P.M.
I'm waiting for you. Good night.
-- Thank you again, Rei. Good night...
That afternoon, the behaviors of Rei and Hotaru were going to be totally
unusual, and unexpectable. When Rei opened the door to let her in,
Hotaru just walked directly towards Rei's bed-room and entered it;
and Rei's heart began to beat much faster the very moment she saw
the deep sadness on the face of her friend. After having locked her
bed-room's door, Rei sat down on the floor, before and close-to Hotaru, and
looked at her eyes, but Hotaru still didn't dare to look at Rei's face.
Then Rei very gently touched the left hand of Hotaru and said:
-- Hey!, what's up? I am here... and listening to you.
Hotaru took a long and deep breath, and finally looked at Rei.
-- Rei... what are we the Sailor Senshi living for? What are we?
Who we really are, humans or non-humans, common people
or superhumans? Part-time "people" and part-time "Sailor
Senshi"? Who am I really? What am I really? I would like to be
myself only, and myself all time long! I do have always felt
that I am not really human, and I guess I will never really be
human. I don't like to be the ordinary "Hotaru", and I really
don't like what I fight for when I turn into Sailor Saturn...
["Oh no! You too? You've been bitten by the truth bug, too! Oh my cunt!,
not that pain in my soul again, and not *this* way, please! Why the fuck
I might not be blessed with the kindness of ignorance, the bliss of
unconsciousness? It looks like this is the day I'll be finally captured by
my fucking destiny... Shit!"]
-- What????? Hey!, speak less quickly, please!
-- ...because... why the fuck the things we were in our past lives will
always and ever have to rule what we do in *this* life? Or, who knows,
why not? Rather, this stuff don't really matter at all! I *am* Sailor Saturn,
so why the fuck I cannot be Sailor Saturn twenty-four hours a day? My cunt!,
I don't have any real need for living even a millisecond of my life-time as
the ordinary Tomoe Hotaru! Why wouldn't I ever be allowed to be Sailor Saturn
just for the pleasure of being myself? Do you know what, according to my
not so humble opinion, to have to live like a "super-hero" means?
It means..., no!, it doesn't mean a thing, indeed
it smells like schizophrenia!
Then Hotaru closed her eyes and put her right hand on the right hand of Rei;
she had to find out the right words to keep on talking that way, to keep on
showing her true feelings; Rei was shivering, and didn't know what to say,
because what Hotaru was telling her... was 100% hard truth, and once again
she was experiencing the fear of the unavoidable consequences that would
come from accepting that truth.
//"So you're afraid too, huh? As it should be. I do know exactly what you're
feeling and why you feeling; 'cause I've been feeling that you're just
enough like me; the only thing I still haven't wanted to know is whether you
are gonna dare to change your heart just like I am doing today..."//
-- I mean... I really am not afraid of being lonely, or alone, but...
I'm so tired of being lonely! You said, you say, that you're my friend;
matter of fact all Sailor Senshi tell me the same. But is *this* really
friendship? I mean, friendship will never be allowed or supposed to be more,
much more than this disguised emptiness I guess it truely is? Chibi-usa was
my first true friend, I used to think; but lately I've found out that I was
so despaired because of the depth of my loneliness that I had to accept
anything, the first thing, that could ease the pain I was going through...
even the hollow-headed Chibi-usa! I really never could stand her, but I also
had been so weak that I had had to think and misfeel that to keep on
being alone was much worse than having a friend like her!
-- I... I see, but... And what about your parents? Haven't you ever felt
the love they once dedicated to you? -- ["NO!!!!! What the fuck have I just
spoken? I don't believe it's happened!"]
-- Love? From my *parents*? WHAT DO *YOU* MEAN?
-- Sorry!, I...
-- No! Never! I cannot evaluate the shit that happens between your father
and you, Rei, but I do speak the truth for myself, and I dare say that my
parents never never loved the real *me*. I do mean that they were loving
the parts of themselves they could see in me, actually they were loving
the parts of themselves that they could make me mirror back towards them!
That is, what they loved was never me, but the set of results from their
educational labour, their so-called "daughter" --- DO YOU 'DERSTAND ME!?
Hearing that scream, Rei was not afraid anymore; she was scared, and it was her
turn to escape --- from Hotaru's eyes.
-- Sorry, forgive me, please! I really didn't intend... but I couldn't help it...
-- I know.
--
--
-- Well... As for Setsuna, Michiru and Haruka... today it's impossible
for me to believe that they have ever loved me, or even liked me...
you don't know how hard, how painful it was when I could wake up to
the fact that their *only* interest in me has been not to allow Sailor Saturn
to become her *true* self, the Senshi of Destruction...
-- No!, you're wrong!
-- Yes, I'm right! And you know what? Have you ever wondered *why* Mistress 9
possessed my body? Wait a minute!, I don't mean that "easy" answer!
-- ?
-- Ever wondered why I did *attract* her to my life, to my body? Wouldn't
it be because she and I were *alike*? Rather, because she and I *are* alike?
Because down deep inside I am exactly like Mistress 9 was? As she invaded my
body... wouldn't I be just punishing myself, for having denied my *true*
nature? Wouldn't she be just using my body right because
one fuckingly stupid day I refused to do the kind of job that *I* had to do,
that *I* always was supposed and meant to do?
-- No!, that's a terrible mistake! We all know that she possessed your body
because of the supreme destructive powers of Sailor Saturn, no doubt
about this, but you have nothing to do with her, you use your powers to
help Sailor Moon and protect this planet...
-- Exactly! That's *the* point! Have *I* ever said that I *really* want
to use *my* powers in order to help Sailor Moon and protect this planet?
Who are we Sailor Senshi? Slaves to Sailor Moon? Do we *have* to be
slaves to that hollow-headed slut? Why must we have to do with her concerns?
Matter of fact, what do we really have to do with her? *Friendship*?
Today this word makes no sense to me, lately I have overlearned that it
means a hollow shell that I can't stand no more, for I am not human, I mean
I don't want to have to be a hypocrite! *Loyalty*? First of all I must be
loyal to my true self, and my true self has been telling me this:
"Fuck Usagi!" And why is she our leader? She even is not the strongest one
among us all, her actual power has always been much less than she has made
us all believe! At least she could be the wisest Sailor Senshi... Usagi,
wise? Ha ha ha! I would easily knock her down and wipe my feet upon
her tits! Even you could and should have done it sometimes, if you didn't
have that "secret" interest in her...
-- Do I have a "secret" interest in Usagi?... What d'ya mean?
-- You want her.
-- WHAT????? --- Rei's eyes were more fierce-looking than ever,
attempting to mean: "You're completely nuts!", but actually she was thinking:
"How the fuck did you find it out?" However Hotaru just put her left middle
finger on Rei's forehead and said:
-- Matter of fact you want Minako too. Don't you... *really*?
Rei had to close her eyes again.
-- Yes, I do. *Really*. Sorry.
-- For what?
--
--
-- For having tried to lie.
-- Don't be.
The eyes of Hotaru were adoring the face and the body of her "friend";
she thought: "Why Usagi? Why Minako? Why not *me*? Why do you dislike
yourself so much? Why, how, can you be so blind? Why... Damn it! Does it
matter... now? Maybe very soon you will destroy me, otherwise I will
destroy you... Our few happy moments... won't ever be? Damn it!"
-- That's it... Now that I know that I am not human, that I'm sure I
don't want to become human, and that I do believe that we all Sailor Senshi
should be totally ourselves, not just a team of superpowered cops...
-- Cops?????
-- Ya, cops... If the humans themselves don't ever give a damn about
protecting *their* homeworld, then why my cunt should *we* do it? It's
completely nonsensical! As for Sailor Moon, isn't she the "Number One"? So,
why the hell isn't she able to fight alone, depending on her own
strength only? Would she ever dare to fight her enemies if the other Senshi
were not always around, ready to make her victories be possible? Would she
ever dare to face Death all by herself, doing without people who live and
die for her? Let me be absolutely crystal clear, would she ever be able to
exist all by herself as Sailor Moon, without depending on the existence of
people like you, Minako, whoever? *Would she*? No!, for she's really weak,
she's cowardly!, and after all, you too have been nothing but a slave to a
wimp! I cannot speak in the name of you and the other Sailor Senshi, but
I state that from now on I myself have nothing to do with Sailor Moon!
--
--
-- Hotaru... Are you serious?
-- Yes, I am.
-- So... You won't help her anymore...
-- It'll be worse than that. As the Senshi of Destruction, my present job is
to take the control of the destiny of this planet off the hands of mankind...
-- Hotaru!
-- ... and to destroy whoever gets in the way.
-- You do know you are unable to defeat all the other Senshi!
-- Yes. So I will be fought and destroyed by all of you.
-- No!
-- Yes. You and the other Senshi will have no choice.
-- Hotaru!... *Why*? --- asked Rei, with a cry in her voice.
-- Because it's my wish. This is what I actually want to be --- and to do.
It's my...fate.
Rei stood up. She was feeling so ashamed! All those things Hotaru had just
told her, she did know they were all true; the difference between Saturn and
Mars... really, there were things that Hotaru didn't fear anymore, but she,
Rei, kept on fearing; all those truths that her own crystal perfect thinking
had revealed to her so many times before, and that so many times she
refused to validate, they finally had shown their full strength, spoken by
other person, making her tell herself: "You coward!" Yes, she had been
cowardly, for too long; and from that moment on, there was no decent way of
living(or dying!) except obeying the call of her heart: "my Fire was not
meant to create, and never meant to preserve --- my Fire is meant
to destroy, because now is the time for Destruction!".
How many times had she too wondered how fine it would be if she could be
Sailor Mars all the time? How many times had she wished she could be
Sailor Mars for the pleasure of being her true self, Sailor Mars, without
ever having a thing to do with Sailor Moon's reality and concerns? How many
times had she tried to kill her oversilly crush on Usagi and Minako?
How many times had she refused to show and to use her Ice Attacks? How many
times had she felt absurdly ashamed for the fact that her Ice Attacks were
actually more powerful than her Fire Attacks? "The obligation that I've
made... for the title that they gave me!" How many times had she wished to
live in a place where the sounds of television, radio, telephones and
shitty people couldn't ever come to her ears? How many times had she
realized that the so-called love she used to feel for her ojii-san had
always been nothing but an illusion? How many times had she wished to kill
her father and to do without any stupid need for guilt or self-punishment?
How many times had she wished to have the strength to let her "queerness"
show? How many times had she felt sorrow for enjoying the pleasure to kill
--- the multi-orgasmic sunshine in her stomach that only by killing an enemy
she could give to herself --- ? How many times had she denied the opportunities
of being herself?
Too many, too many, too many! And the very day she had come to be sure that
she was really not crazy, that "she was not the only one", what had she just
tried to do? To deny that Hotaru was closer than ever to Reality, to deny
that her own inner truth could never be far from Reality! "You coward!
Shame on you!" She finally might feel true happiness, for Fate had just
sent her a very nice gift, Saturn herself, at last someone truely worth
to trust and to serve; however she still couldn't help feeling some more
hesitation, some more guilt, some more fear, some more crap; "Shame on me!".
She sat down on her bed, beside Hotaru.
-- Hotaru... please look into my eyes. Good. Listen, I cannot
believe you're that serious.["Liar!"] If you really intended to fight
Sailor Moon, why the heck would you ever warn us about your goals?
It makes no sense! This way, for you there really will be no possibility of
defeating her.
-- There never would be. As you have just pointed out, I am all alone,
against all of you together, so for what to attack Sailor Moon by surprise?
There would be no point in it. Besides, it won't ever be that easy for anyone
to get to kill me, anyhow.
-- In fact... It would make no difference at all... But there is still
something that's not very... I mean...
-- I feel what you're wondering, why I chose *you* to listen to me?
--
--
-- Ya. Why not Sailor Moon herself? Why *me*? --- ["I do know why: somehow,
you already knew that, in the end, I would follow in your footsteps;
I *will* follow you --- even into the inevitable death!"]
//"So she wants to keep playing the test game. Her fear still hopes that I
won't confirm the things she already knows... Will she... Damn it!
Fuck *my* fear, I must end this now!"//
-- Because... because if I had the help from you, the Senshi of Fire,
I could actually defeat not only Sailor Moon but *all* her other allies too
--- especially my fucky Setsuna-mama and her obscene time tricks!...
-- *Actually*???!
-- *Yes*.
--
--
-- I see... but... do you really believe that *I* would ever dare to
*betray* Sailor Moon?
-- And why not? After all, to "betray" her won't ever be worse than
to keep on betraying *yourself*!
-- !
-- !!
-- Am I that transparent to your eyes?
-- Still any doubts?
--
--
-- Well... and... are you absolutely *sure* that I can become that powerful?
-- Yes, I *am*.
--
--
-- Hotaru!, I'm with you!
-- !!
-- !!!
-- Will you follow me?!
-- Yes!
--
--
-- Even to our... death?
-- *Yes*!
--
--
-- Even to our... *love*?
--
--
-- Yes. I will *learn* to love you.
--
--
-- Starting right now?
-- *Yes*!
Rei thought: "Fuck my fear! Nothing's gonna stop me now!". Hotaru was
showing her hunger for love in her violet eyes, and Rei just couldn't
help feeling the same kind of hunger beginning to rise inside her mouth.
"I'm learning quickly. My cunt!, how the fuck could I have been that blind?
She is so *beautiful*... she is delicious!" Hotaru touched the lips of
the Senshi of Fire with the tip of her tongue. Rei did not resist.
*****************
Two hours later, Sailor Saturn and Sailor Mars teleported to the Antarctic.
>From there they were going to rule the entire planet. But first they had to
learn to feel and to move as one. Under the phantasmagoric light of the
aurora australis Saturn showed Mars how to increase enormously the
Senshi powers by extracting energy directly from the center of the Earth and
from the core of any star, and how to focus the energy of the Senshi attacks
upon even the smallest targets. With those techniques, not long ago Saturn
had learned how to control the intensity of her new attacks and how to guide
their power towards a chosen target, so that she could finally destroy her
opponents without risking to destroy herself too any more. She always
suspected that Mars could use Ice Attacks, but she didn't expect that Mars
had already mastered them so finely. The only thing that Mars didn't know
about her Ice Powers was that they could be combined to her Fire Powers:
Saturn taught her how to create the Selective Steam Shell --- a defensive
move even more efficient than the Silence Wall, for it could be totally
insensitive to the time tricks and the Dead Scream of Sailor Pluto ---
and the Cold Fire Blast, which could be as destructive as the
faster-than-light Silence Glaive Scalar ShockWave --- and how to use
both attacks simultaneously.
-- My cunt! *Cold*... *black*... flames! I would never imagine that
flames, *my* flames, could actually be cold... or black... Wow!
-- I see that the first black flames are "unforgettable", Mars, but...
can you *already* match my Purple Plasma Stream? Would you like to
"test your might" right now?
-- Yep... Let me try it!
-- So here it goes! PLASMA STREAM! --- and Sailor Saturn used her
Silence Glaive to shoot a stream of bright purple plasma at Sailor Mars.
-- COLD FIRE! --- and the hands of Sailor Mars threw a flux of cold black
flames against Saturn's Plasma Stream. The two streams of materialized
altered bioplasma reached a deadlock.
--
--
--
-- I feel I cannot match your Plasma Stream yet! Please stop!
--
-- ???
--
-- HEY, I SAID STOP!
-- NOT YET, MY LOVE! --- and Saturn just did turn up her Purple Plasma Stream.
-- I CANNOT STAND IT!
-- YES YOU CAN!! SCALAR SHOCKWAVE!,...
-- WHAT YOU'RE DOING????? NOOOOOOO!!!
-- ...NOW!!!
The explosion caused by the minimum intensity of the Scalar ShockWave
would have overkilled Sailor Mars if she was not protected by her
Steam Shell.
-- Wake up now you lazy bitch! Stand up!
-- HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO YOU?
-- Stop complaining! Are you *hurt*?
--
--
-- No... Really not!
-- Feel any pain?
-- ... No... I was not harmed at all!
-- And that was due to the *minimum* level of virtual solidity of your new-born
Steam Shell... have 'derstood, have *felt* why one must learn resistance
before ever learning strength? 'Derstood why you *had* to learn
the Steam Shell before learning the Cold Fire? And keep in mind,
in the end your Steam Shell will protect you against Sailor Pluto, but
it won't pursue and won't defeat her! The moment your Cold Fire is able to
match my new Senshi Attacks is the moment the two of us are able to destroy
my fucky Setsuna-mama --- and only then we'll bring Revolution to this world.
-- Ya... I agree, but... why the heck...
-- Just because your actual enemy won't ever tell you what their strategy is!
--
--
-- I see... You're right.
-- Yes, I know it...
-- !!
-- Listen: when I say that I love you, I mean that I will always help you
to do your best. And I do expect you will learn to do the same for me.
-- OK... I guess the first lessons are meant to be "unforgettable", too.
-- That's it... How about a break for kissing?
-- Nice idea!
Mars' twenty-fifth Cold Fire Blast had been simply
more than "unforgettable": she just shot it at the ocean, and thus created
a six hundred meter high tidal wave; perfectly protected by the outshiningly
bright-yellow aura of the Selective Steam Shell, that gigantic artificial
tsunami was an extremely scary phenomenon...
-- Fuckingly beautiful!!! --- Saturn exclaimed.
-- Yes! it is!!!... Sailor Saturn!, in the name of
Mars I'll punish anybody who gets in our way ---
I swear!
{/GAME OVER}
Marsia Mariner.