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      Neon Genesis Pikagelion
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      A dark, but not very imposing, figure sat in the highest chair in Central Dogma's command center.  The figure was a young man with dark blue hair, who was fiddling with some sort of device.  Next to him was a darker and VERY imposing figure who was plotting the younger man's death.
      "Dammit.  Giovanni, open this camera.  I need to load the film." the young man whined.
      Giovanni took the camera and opened a slot.  He handed it back to the young man who dropped a roll of film in.
      "Drop-in loading.  Easy, they said.  As if!" the young man whined some more.
      "James, can we get on with this?" Giovanni demanded.
      James, the young man in question, blinked, then remembered where he was.
      "Sorry everyone.  There's a Pokel on the way, right?  Then launch the Pikagelions.  Jeez, I do everything around here." James commanded.
      The red-haired woman in front of him rolled her eyes, turned to the three people in front of her.
      "Don't mess it up this time.  You sent the Pikagelions into a compost heap the last time." the dark-haired woman next to the red-haired woman warned.
      "Shut up, Sabrina." the red-haired woman snapped at the dark-haired one before turning to the trio in front of her, "Calculate the best intercept course."
      "Gotcha, Captain Jessie." the spikey-haired boy directly in front of the red-haired woman responded.  Brock was his name and he seemed dense at times, but was actually a nice guy.
      "Sorry, but I'm still waiting for the M.E.W.-Slowbro computer to wake up..." Nurse Joy apologized, using a complex setup of mirrors to stare up Sabrina's mini-skirt.
      Nurse Joy began drooling.
      "I've got the trajectory." AJ declared.
      "PIKA-LAUNCH!" Jessie cried.
      All three Pikagelions were sent rocketing towards the surface.  The first pilot, Erika, looked like she was about to fall asleep in her Venusaur Evangelion.  The second Pika-pilot was Ash, who looked ready to face just about anything in his Pikachu Evangelion.  Misty, the third Pika-pilot, seemed almost indifferent in her red production model Charizard Evangelion.  She had wanted the blue Blastoise Evangelion, but that was still in production.
      "Careful everyone, this Pokel is stronger than the ones before it." Jessie said.
      "SPAAAAAAMFIIIIIICCC!  OOC!  I LOVE GUBBY!  WHO'S THE PIGTAILED GIRL?!  ALTERNATE HERSTORY!  I'VE FIXED IT SO IT WORKS!  WHY DOES LUM HAVE HORNS?!  I CAN BEAT UP TENCHI!  I DON'T GET IT!  WHY IS THIS BANNED?!  WHAT'S NADAKO'S LAST NAME?!  IS SHE RELATED AKANE?!  I DON'T LIKE 'U'!  DON'T MST THIS?!  WHAT DOES [MONKEY SPANKING LEMON] MEAN?!" the Angel stated.
      "It's AHNUHBUHEEIEL!"
      "Where did that chorus come from?" James asked, before drinking his Ovaltine like his mommy told him to do everyday.  Of course, it tasted just like those sea monkeys his brother tricked him into drinking that one time.  Little did he know that Ovaltine and sea monkeys were made from the same substance.
      "MY FIRST FIC IS A NEW IDEA, A SELF-INSERTION WHICH HAS ME KICKING RANMA'S ASS AND HAVING SEX WITH NABIKI, WHO IS NOW A BUSTY YOUNG REDHEAD!  LINA HAS BIG BOOBS!  KUWARO'S KINDA SEXY!  WHAT GENDER IS SHE?  WHO'S TYBALT?!  YOU SUCK!  IS SAILOR PLUTO THAT FUNNY OLD MAN AT THE SHRINE WHO BUGS WATARU, THE GHOST IN THE BLACK MAGIC SHELLED PEANUTS?  A RANMA/SAILOR MOON CROSSOVER WHERE RANMA BECOMES SALIOR SUN AND SPIDERMAN!  THEN I SHOW UP TO FIGHT THE NEGAVERSE AND ANGLES WITH MY JURAIAN AND SUPER-SAJAYAIAYIN-N POWERS, THEN GET ALL THE GIRLS TO FOLLOW ME AROUND!  SYLIA LICKS MY BOOTS AND I HAVE SEX WITH PRISS/LARGO/QUUNCY/CARL MACEK!" the Angel cried, poor grammar and spelling evident.
      "It's defragmenting my mind!  Jessie, I can't give it what it wants!" Erika cried.
      Just then, AHNUHBUHEEIEL unleashed a pointless thread about how Shinji could use the Hiryuu Shoten Ha against an Angel.  Pikagelion Unit 00 howled in agony as flames and bits of spam hit it.  Thankfully, both the Unit and it's pilot were knocked unconscious.
      "I MUST MST THIS PIECE OF TRASH!" Misty cried, holding aloft an Eva-scale Chicken Cannon.
      "ISHAAI WATAKALOON IS COOL!  DOES AKANE GET ANGRY LOTS?!  WHERE DOES RYOUGAH GO?  WHAT'S YOTSUYA DO?  DOES GODAI LIKE MITAKA-CAHN?  DARK SCHNEIDER IS A WUSS!  WHO NEEDS THE FAQ?  FOLLOW MY RULES OR JUST STOP WRITING!  I'M THE GOD!  I'M THE GOD!  NYOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOOHOO!  I'M ULTRA COOL!" the Angel declared as it's ability to spell began to degrade profusely.
      Misty's Pikagelion Unit was sent flying back as AHNUHBUHEEIEL unleashed pointless SI god-like powers.  She fired the Chicken Cannon, but AHNUHBUHEEIEL blocked the blast with it's upgraded O.E. Field, or Oblivious to Everything Field.
      "This just keeps getting worse and worse." Giovanni commented.
      "Hmm, Ash, go to the Geofront and retrieve the Lance of Admin!" James ordered.
      "RIGHT!" Ash shrieked, leaping down a Plot Device as useless U.N. troops were brought in to die..er, hold back the Angel.  The ADP wisely left all of Japan.
      "IT'S A BRAND NEW CONCEPT!  CLOD STRUFTH GETS CURSED WITH THE SPRING OF DROWNED GIRL, THEN FALLS INTO THE SPRING OF DROWNED TWINS, SO ONE HALF OF HIS BODY IS MALE AND THE OTHER HALF IS FEMAILE!  OR RYOUGAH GETS CURSED TO TURN INTO HIKARU, FROM MAGIC KNOOGHT RAYEARTH!  GOURRY BECOMES SAILOR MOON!  I COON'T TAKE A JAKE!  I DEMARD AN APOCROPHYY!  I'M NOT STOPID, YOU ISH!  I MERGGED THE OAVE AND TV TIMLINES SO THGYU WIRKS!  NAGA STARRS IN MY LATEST YOAI FICY WITH RURI HOHSIINO ON THE SDF-1/2 WITH ME AS THE PLUNGER!  WHUT DOS SUBTITLED MIEN?!  IS GAINAX NEW COMPOANY?  THIS SAILOR ERTH FIC WILL BE IN THURTY-TOO PARTS POSTED TUDAY!  EVANGLEION HAZ NO HOTT GIRLS NIN IT!  HOW DU AH SIGN UNTO FFML?!" the Angel roared almost incoherently.
      Ash leapt from his Pikagelion into a five-part combiner robot, forming it into the Megazord.
      "AND I'LL FORM THE HEAD!" A-kun said, leaping to the story for no apparent reason.
      "I thought he knew this was the headless model." Giovanni commented.
      "Well, let's give him head." James declared.
      Giovanni stared at him, before responding, "You can, but it's not in my contract."
      The Megazord paused to pass through a 10 ft. X 10 ft. X 10 ft. room that had a thousand orcs (or college students, whatever you want to call them) who were playing on gameboys.
      "Hey, Ash." they said.
      "Hey." Ash responded, piloting the 700 ft. tall Megazord to the back of the room, breaking the glass and taking out the keys to the Geofront.
      Whistling a tune, Ash lead the Zord to where <SPOILER NEGATER ENGAGED>.  With a mighty leap, Ash leapt the eighteen miles back to his Pikagelion, all the while gaining altitude as they were using Speed Physics and not REAL Physics, then took the Lance of Admin from the Megazord, which A-kun promptly stole to go on a rampage.  Ash fell into another Plot Device and landed on AHNUHBUHEEIEL.  Stabbing it in the ass in a scene that AHNUHBUHEEIEL would've stated qualified Ash for a Yaoi Lemon, AHNUHBUHEEIEL was annihilated in a Fruedian explosion that was smaller than all of the explosions that preceeded it.
      "Whew!  Now we don't have to listen to it mispronounce or misspell names and words." Giovanni said, clearly relieved.
      "Say, what's the number of this one?" James asked.
      "38,634." Nurse Joy responded.

      Later, James sat in the HYPNO council.
      "Ikari, are you _sure_ ABRA and the Pikagelions were used effectively?" Lorelei asked.
      "I like my tea." Bruno remarked.
      "Ikari, we want results." Agatha demanded, as she fondled the bishonen on her lap.
      "I like my tea." Bruno remarked.
      "Agatha, let me go!  OR I'LL SEND YOU INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION!" Lance cried.
      "I like my tea." Bruno remarked.
      "AAAH!  How did you replace Sephiroth?!" Agatha demanded.
      "I like my tea." Bruno remarked.
      "All is going according to the contests of this paper bag..." James said, presenting a flaming paper bag.
      "Tea my like I." Bruno remarked.
      "If you could be so kind as to stomp it out..." James inquired, tossing the bag at Agatha.
      "PikaPikaPikaPi." Bruno remarked.
      "AAAAH!" Agatha screamed as Lance farted.
      "Kupo!" Bruno remarked.
      The explosion was larger than the one AHNUHBUHEEIEL had made, registering a 9.0 on the Richter Scale, a 1.0 on the Anime Scale and the German Judge gave it a 3.0.  That's really going to cost them in the next Explosion Olympics.
      It somehow failed to even scorch the countertops of the A&W drive-in resturaunt they were at, but killed all present nonetheless.

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      All of AHNUHBUHEEIEL's scenes were done through the miracle of lights, magic, CGI and one helluva bribe to the SFX guys.  And yes, AHNUHBUHEEIEL's speech was SUPPOSED to be screwed up, so please don't point out or mention type-os.
      Apologies to all newbies who weren't involved in anything even remotely similiar to anything that AHNUHBUHEEIEL stated above.  To those who were directly involved or started anything that AHNUHBUHEEIEL stated above, NYAH!


      C-chan
      TharzZzy
      A-kun

      Idiots in Tandem
      Working to cause Mayhem!

      Reply to A-kun at akun15@hotmail.com

      Breakdown of the Cast  (in case, you're confused)

      James as Gendo Ikari
      Giovanni as Kozo Fuyutsuki
      AJ as Shigeru Aoba (His name is Shigeru.  Not "that long-haired guy, you know, who plays the guitar.")
      Nurse Joy as Maya Ibuki (still hopelessly in love with 'Ritsuko', but is too shy to say it directly.  Peeping, however...)
      Brock as Makoto Hyuuga
      Jessie as Misato Katsuragi
      Sabrina as Ritsuko Akagi
      Officer Jenny as Ryoji Kaji (Still has 'relations' with 'Misato')
      Ash Ketchum as Shinji Ikari (That means James and Ash are related.... UGH!)
      Erika as Rei Ayanami
      Misty as Asuka Soryhu Langely
      May (Gary's sister) as Hikari Horaki
      Koga as Touji Suzuhara
      Lt. Surge as Kensuke Aida  (tallest computer geek with rippling muscles I ever did see)
      Agatha as Kihle
      Lance as snooty SEELE member
      Bruno as rumbling SEELE member
      Lorelei as number-crunching SEELE member
      Blaine as Ryoji Kaji's nameless contact that falls out of the railcar on the way to the Geofront, only to crash through the ceiling of a Taco Bell, killing billions... of chihuahua-Angels. "Yo Quiero Instrumentality."  Gives new meaning to AT field: Another Taco.
      Professor Oak as _BORING_ Class Teacher
      Gubby (under the disguise of yet another e-mail account, because, let's face it, what newbie knows of him?) as AHNUHBUHEEIEL  "BWWAAAAAARAAARRRR!"



 P.S. for those who remember, Neon Sign Evangelion (our combined *one-shot*, ha ha) will be having a second episode soon!
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