DB Sommer wrote:
*snip*
one. Initially, everyone -save Funuyaki and Autolycus- had been
delighted
^everyone--save
^Autolycus--had
Hmm. I usually leave a space between the begining and end of statements
held between two dashes. Is connecting them the correct way to do it, or
can it work either way?
Using two dashes with no space is the "correct" way, but actually it's
not a very good way anyway. Commas, parentheses, even ellipses would
look better.
Autolycus looked deeply into Sa'bre's eyes. It was as he suspected;
Stargrave would never give up on his quest. "Then it's time for me
to go. I
have no desire to watch you destroy yourself, or waste my time any
further.
You're on your own from now on." Autolycus turned and headed back
the way
they had come.
A nice show of integrity here. I like it.
When you get to be a couple of million years old, you realize the
transitionary nature of galatic empires. Personal integrity lasts longer
than them, in Autolycus's case.
Ah. So Autolycus really is...Autolycus. Cool.
It just has to do with where she grew up.
Does that mean she wilts in a hot desert?
*Um, DB, you forgot to tag this one...* *gets hysterical*
It wouldn't fit in the subject line. Sorry.
What? [Eating Sausages]?
Got away with it, did he? Hm.
Well, Mihoshi made sure to lay down the law by getting him to say she could
do whatever she wants. now she's giving him a consession too.
Since, after all, she didn't like going there all that much.
"Well, you were the one that wanted a fire going. I was just trying
to
help, and it's not like you got burned much."
"I see."
"I have a marker if you want to try and draw your eyebrows back on."
LOL!!!
*offers Tenchi some of Cologne's salve...oops, that's my story*
But a good one, though his his pride was burned worse than his body. His
eyebrows though, they were gonners.
The segue from Mihoshi discussing the setting on her phaser to the
explosive rocks reminded me of that old Star Trek episode. You know,
the one with VAAL?
I already gave the explanation for that one in the reply to DF.
I'm surprised that Tenchi doesn't lose his lunch. After all, he's never
shed blood before. (Although given that it's an energy weapon I
question whether there would be much blood as opposed to the distinctive
smell of scorched flesh. Ah, the things you learn having a wart
removed...)
uniform and
pulled it up to cover her revealed flesh. "I can't believe you did
that!
And I trusted you so much, Tenchi."
Saw that one coming, but I LIKE it
Cool. Although I'd be concerned if I were you, Kara. If you can start to
predict my actions, that might mean you're begining to think more like me.
Ask anyone; this is probably not a good thing. ^_^
However I think there should have been a bit about how now Mihoshi would
have to arrest him for assaulting a police officer.
There was one thought that occured me, though. If somebody clocked
Mihoshi just as she was about to relieve herself, wouldn't she lose
control of bodily functions? Or at least desperately need to go when
she regained consciousness?