Jason Liao wrote:
The point was to make us all heave. Or am I wrong, Jack?
So? Anyone can do that.
"Oh Ukyou!"
"Oh water-pail lady!"
"Shampoo sits upon this throne of ivory every day! I must be a part of
her any way I can!" *glubglubglub*
"While Kasumi-onnechan prefers older men, I like younger men. That's why
I don't like my engagement to Ranma...He's over seven years old."
Did -you- consider any one of these lines an example of a good fanfic?
What if I just appended it to the end of a generic lime scene?
I have to agree with Jason (and Chris) on this one.
The problem is, I think, that this story doesn't do anything to convince
us that what it's showing could happen. The aim of it, presumably, is to
shock or disgust us. If the relationship were shown in such a way to
make it plausible, it would certainly do that and more. However, why
should I react in these ways, or care at all, if I'm not made to believe
the story could happen in the first place?
Gary