Subject: [FFML] Re: [Fanfic][R.5]Pastpresent Interlude - Verlorenseele
From: Susan Doenime
Date: 1/25/2000, 7:06 PM
To: Phil
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

On Tue, 26 Jan 1999, Phil wrote:
More questions/comments than anything else. :)

Susan Doenime wrote:

Pastpresent, Interlude One - Verlorenseele

Hmm. Since I'm without a German-English dictionary, I have to ask what the
title means. I assume it's something-soul, but that's as far as my
Evangelion German takes me. :)

It translates as 'Lost Soul'.
 
        "Bitch," he said, as if to make up for his momentary
lapse of stupidity.

'momentary lapse of intelligence'? :)

Nope, lapse of stupidity. What, you think calling a very irritated
Kiritsubo a 'bitch' is intelligent? ^_^
 
        "Just most." Sharp kid. That very fact had been bothering
me. I'd been tossing the idea of a mythical male boss around
for a while, and this was just another piece of evidence in its
favor. I finished the cuts on his legs, and started inspecting
the shiner on his face.

Heh. Shades of 'Remington Steele'.

What?
 
        I parked my bike in the spot reserved for me, noted with
interest the three unfamiliar long-handled choppers in the
guest spots, and strolled on in.

Uh, you might want to rephrase 'choppers'. I kept thinking about
helicopters and it took me until the third try to realize it was refering
to motorcycles. :)

Whoops.

        I remember the next week very well.

        For one thing, the war was gearing up. Inji was not
happy. He had decided that the soon-to-be-late Mr. Hayasho
was going to be dealt with, and that he was going to do the
dealing personally. This was partly because he was very angry
- that is, outwardly irritated - and partly because he was the
best suited to do the deed.

        You people just don't know how damn surprised I am that
Nodoka's lived this long.

Hmm. This Nodoka comment makes sense once you've read Genma's diaries, but
on its own here, it's kind of confusing. Biki wouldn't have assumed that
anyone reading her notes would make the connection between Nodoka and Inji,
right?

See below. These weren't intended for general distribution. ^_^
 
        "Hi," I said brightly. "Tomoeka Anako?"

Does the name have any special meaning? Like 'Soon to be deceased' or
something? :)

No, not this one. ^_^ Only one person introduced in this part has a joke
name, and it's only a joke when taken in conjunction with someone else's
name. Ten points if you can spot it.

        "Are you going to hurt my sister?" Ryoji asked, and his
voice trembled. It hadn't done that after those punks had
beaten him up.

Now this did surprise me. I had Ryoji mentally pictured as Inji's brother
for some reason.

If he were Inji's brother, people wouldn't be dumb enough to beat him up.
^_^
 
        Genma was hanging around when I got home, and he knew
something was wrong. He didn't ask me what. I'm forever
thankful to him for that. I'll also never forgive him for that.

Poor Genma. He just can't win, can he?

Of course not. ^_^
 
        So here. Here I am. I'm baring myself like this because I
can cry, and need people, and love, and that last, Soun, is why I

Oh wait. She's writing it to Soun. Scratch that comment earlier about
Nodoka.

Well, the series has been a lot of fun, and it's kept me very entertained.
Vince beat me to the Vlad Taltos comment (quite a shock to read it, too :),
but I'll second it. The turf war, the legbreaking, and the character of
Inji Kuonji really do remind of Steven Brust's novels, and that's a good
thing. Of course, Vlad usually ends up being tortured rather than doing the
torturing, but... :)

Well, I'm glad it's Brustian. (Brustish? Brustworthy? ^_-)

Hope this helps.

Thanks for writing. ^_^

Phil.



- Susan Doenime
Brisbane, U of Q
"I hit the streets / They watched me in the monitor..."




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