Those who hunt Ataru part 2:
The hunt begins...
It was a bright sunny day in Tombuki, people where laughing and the air
was clear. In a back alley hidden in the shadows a dimensional doorway
opened and the group staggered out into the street. Bill smiled and
glanced around cheerfully.
"This could be it," she snickered gleefully.
"Jeez, calm down will ya? We aren't sure yet," grumbled Dan as he dusted
his clothes off. "Limbo sure is dusty for an endless void."
"I'll find out the way!" cried Bill as she bounced away cheerfully.
"What's with him?" muttered Doug.
"Relax, he's just enjoying himself," said Dan with a small smile as he
followed.
Bill was standing in the middle of the street holding a poor idiot off
the ground and glaring at him angrily in the face. The poor sap didn't
look certain if he should be happy because such a cute girl was speaking
to him, or frightened because she looked like she was about to tear him
apart.
"Where is Furninkan High school?" snarled Bill.
The poor boy looked his assailant up and down and his brain almost
ruptured. "This is a joke right?"
"Does it look like I'm joking?" growled Bill as she shook the poor boy
roughly.
"Bill! What the hell are you doing?" cried Dan as he ripped the boy from
the angry girl's grip and set him down.
"I've always wanted to say that," said the girl sheepishly as she
somehow made herself look incredibly cute; thus causing the boy she had
been handling to cover his nose in a vain effort to hold in the blood.
Doug walked over with a mouth full of food and handed a few spears of
Yakatori to his companions. "Man the guys here are pathetic, all I had to
do was walk into the room and I got all this free food."
The love struck boy that Bill had almost killed just stood drooling at
the newcomer. This caused Dan to smile. "Look just because you two are
lesbians who like to let people watch doesn't mean I'm going to let you
run around naked. You have to keep the shirt on."
The poor boy lost a huge amount of blood as the veins in his sinuses
seemed to explode. He fell to the ground and began to foam at the mouth
as he shook violently and gagged on his own spit.
"Uh-oh," said Doug as he started to drag the other two away as they
laughed hysterically.
Ataru Moroboshi grumbled as he stalked down the street; his clothing was
smoldering in a huge cloud of smoke as his so-called fianc�e's latest
attack began to cool off. "Stupid Lum, all I did was ask for her number;
I didn't even say anything about her measurements or nothin," He
neglected to mention the fact that he was zapped before he completed the
conversation. "Just cause it's some stupid anniversary she gets all
worked up over nothin," His mind began to wander as he struggled towards
the school nurses office; he would be turned away on sight of course; but
it would be nice to see nurse Sakura again. "Maybe she's changed?" he
wondered out loud to himself. "Oh Ataru! I've always wanted you! I was
just frightened by that evil Lum! Let me take off my top," he grinned
dumbly in his fantasy and began to drool uncontrollably.
He staggered along a few more feet when he came to a stop, something
stood in his way and he walked face first into it; It was something soft
and round, the sensation was vaguely familiar; but he just couldn't place
it.
"Hey Doug, you've got a pervert in your chest," said Bill as he noticed
his friends newly found necklace. Doug had been walking for about twenty
yards dragging the unfortunate boy in his chest without realizing it.
"Eeeew, get rid of it," he said calmly as he plucked Ataru out of his
spot and glared at him. Ataru still had a stupid grin plastered to his
mug with a string of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth; he shook
his head and recovered slightly as he noticed he had been stopped.
Ataru found himself in an interesting position, he was surrounded by two
of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen in his life; both with in
easy reach of a grope and he didn't care. "What the hell's wrong with
me?" he thought desperately as he reached out and grabbed the chest of
the one holding him. He pulled his hand away and looked at it in
confusion. "Nothing." he muttered out loud.
Bill started to go red with anger when Dan stepped forward. "Hey, your
Ataru Moroboshi aren't you?"
Ataru nodded dumbly as he half heard the boy in his confusion.
"Maybe you can help us then! You see we're kind of lost; we are trying
to find our way to Ranma 1/2. We got a little side tracked and..." said
Doug cheerfully.
Something clicked in his brain and he glanced at the three of them up
and down. "That's it! That's why I didn't care! You guys are some of
those self-insertion people aren't you!?"
Dan looked at him in surprise. "Uh, yea how'd ya know that?"
Ataru smiled. "Aw, we get folks like you here all the time. Not as many
as Ranma and all, but it's nothing weird here. Thing is, this place is so
weird that you folks fit right in anyway."
"At least we got the right author," offered Doug with a small shrug.
"Great, how are we gonna meet all those Ranma babes without that map,"
snorted Bill.
"Screw the Ranma chicks, there are anime babes all over these dimension.
We can even stop in some hentai anime and probably get you idiots a
score," snorted Dan as he glanced around.
Something clicked in Ataru's diminutive brain at these words. He looked
at the travelers and flung himself at Bill's feet. "Take me with you!" he
cried.
"What?" said Doug in mild surprise.
"You can't leave me here! There are entire universes of girls out
there!" cried Ataru with a tearful look.
"We can't bring him! Think of all the damage and problems he would
cause!" cried Doug.
"Yea..." agreed Bill with a thoughtful look; she didn't look like she
was opposed to the idea. A smile crossed her face as she glanced at Dan.
"Just think of the mess he'd make; we should leave him here. At
least...Aw screw it, it sounds like fun," said Dan as he pulled out the
amulet he wore around his neck. It glowed bright blue in his hand and he
slashed at the air leaving a rip in the dimensional fabric.
A few moments later the group entered yet another world. This time they
found themselves clothed in high school uniforms. The female half of the
group glanced down to find themselves in a skirt and jacket uniform. Bill
twirled around and giggled to herself as she looked herself up and down
in the reflection in a window. Doug simply stared at the glass and
started to hyperventilate.
"Now where are we?" said Dan as he glanced around and put his shades on.
Ataru sniffed the air and Dan's attention was instantly with him. They
both scanned the area back and forth in perfect unison. "Girls, lots of
em'," said Dan.
Ataru simply started shouting and charged away leaving a dust cloud
behind him. "Girls! I'm coming ladies!" he cried.
"He is young and naive'; if he was as seasoned as I he would realize
that the best picks are in this direction!" said Dan calmly as he started
in the opposite direction.
"Babe-dar strikes again," sighed Bill as she started to drag the stunned
Doug away.
Ataru turned the corner and glanced left and right, the hallways were
suspiciously empty even for a class period. "I know there's girls around
here somewhere," he muttered in frustration.
One of the classrooms opened and the most beautiful teacher Ataru had
ever seen stuck her head out and glared at him. "What are you doing out
of class?!"
Ataru just looked left and right and pointed at himself questioningly.
"Of course I mean you!"
The gears in Ataru's mind began to work and he simply walked into the
woman's room. She smirked and looked him up and down. "Tell me what a
handsome boy like you is doing out in the hallway?"
Ataru just grinned; he had not noticed the collapsed bodies of the class
laying lifelessly in the classroom. The teacher smiled as she lifted her
legs and spread them revealing her undergarments; she slowly began to
unbutton her top.
Dan frowned as he walked up to a pair of girls who were sitting behind a
wall, nearby where they had appeared in this dimension. They were both
reasonably attractive and his automatic charm had been engaged, but their
conversation worried him slightly.
"I'm telling you they are Youma! You saw how they just appeared in the
hallway!" cried the girl wearing glasses.
The other girl had her hair done up in strange braided rings that led to
long ponytails. "But Chi, he's such a babe!" she whined.
"Really? I'm happy to hear that from such a lovely young woman," said
Dan as he reached down and kissed the girl on the hand.
"Yohko! He's a demon!" screeched the other girl as she scrambled away.
"Yohko, that's a very pretty name," said Dan calmly.
The poor girl looked like she was about to pass out, she was giggling
like a ninny and blushing profusely.
"Yohko? As in Devil hunter Yohko? Come on Dan quit it, you know what
happens to her boyfriends in every one of these stupid things," said Doug
as she started to drag him away.
The silence was cut by a blood-curdling scream. The group whirled around
and Dan frowned. "Ataru, something could be wrong!" he cried as he turned
towards the hallway the boy had gone down.
He was almost run down by the screaming creature that tore down the
hall. It was a horrible sight, it's horns almost reached the ceiling and
it's skin was bubbling with lesions and sores. It screeched again as it
tumbled down a stairwell. It had on the torn clothing of a human woman
and looked like it had been interrupted while undressing.
Ataru charged down the hallway after it; he had a huge grin on his face
as he charged after the monster laughing like a madman. "Wait! You can
turn back into the babe right?!" he called causing the beast to scream
again.
"A Succubus?" said Bill as he watched the display in wonder.
"What?" said Yohko in surprise.
"A sexual vampire; it feeds off the desires of men. I did a report on it
in the third grade. Got a 'B' on it," replied Bill.
"And when it meets the most powerful libido in the universe...it isn't
pretty," said Dan with a sigh as he jumped to tackle Ataru. "Help me you
idiots!" he cried as he was drug down the hallway easily. Bill simply
watched and laughed as Doug, Dan, and Ataru went crashing down the stairs
after the beast. A familiar flash of light erupted from the stair well
and he charged into the stairway to catch his ride.
"Hey you jerks! Wait up!"
In limbo Dan stood and dusted himself off again. Bill rubbed at her
chest as Doug pulled her arm off of her breast. "Ouch," she said as she
tried to massage the pain out. She stopped when she realized just how
soothing she found it. "Dan, I'm sick of being a girl," she whined.
"We'll just have to find some hot water in the next dimension," said
Doug with a shrug.
They found themselves in a wooded area near to a small town. Dan kept
his dark cloak this time but Doug and Bill found themselves in dresses
that where reminiscent of a villager in a fantasy anime. "I wonder where
we are?" said Bill as he glanced around.
"Well it sure ain't Ranma," muttered Doug.
"What is it with you? We got a better deal with this anyway. We can
chase girls across a hundred anime until we find it you ninny," snorted
Dan as he glanced around.
Ataru simply looked at them in confusion. "Hey, what's that thing on
your forehead?"
"What? Hey, we've all got them!" cried Dan as he rubbed at the small
triangle embedded in his brow. "What the heck is it?"
A battle cry came from over the hill. "Girls! Girls, girls, girls,
girls, girls!!"
The group turned to see a rather scrawny young man in a muscle T-shirt
charging at them. He had a sword that hung at his side waving in the
breeze as he charged for them.
"Sorcerer hunters," said Dan with an unreadable gaze. "And using this
amulet makes us sorcerers."
TBC...
Next time the group fumbles about in the realm of Sorcerer hunters
before moving on, what will happen when Ataru and Dan meet Chocolate and
Tira? Will they gain yet another pervert on their journey? Will they ever
find Ranma 1/2?!! Find out next time!
C&C to Carrotglace@juno.com