D.F. Roeder wrote:
BATTLETECH: THE SAOTOME GAMBIT
PART TWO
Yay!
:)
Happousai prowled the shadows across the unevenly paved
street that separated Fort Dettmering from the sleazy bars and
topless joints that had set up within walking distance from the
garrison in order to better part the soldiers with
Suggest "from" instead of "with".
That works.
their money. It had taken a great deal of resolve
to wait in a place like this, and several times he had given in to
temptation in order to sample the place's wares.
:)
And we know how well Happousai resists temptation...
Fortunately for his mission, the girls in the clubs were rather
uninspiring to all but the most neophyte of voyeurs. Happousai had
seen much better in far more enjoyable surroundings.
[...]
For example, the Dallas Club in Agana, Guam... <shudder>
<snip>
A younger man would have been winded for certain at this point in
his expedition, but Happousai was a man who burned with a strange
madness that fueled him with almost boundless energy.
I trust Happi's "strange madness" and "boundless energy" will get
some future explanation, or is it the same as in canon?
Same as in canon. Happi's a naughty boy...
him to work on the door. The lock was a simple single row
single-row
You are correct, sir.
The room was divided into three sections. The living area had a
small couch, two desks and standing lockers, and a small coffee
table. There were only a few personal touches present, namely
martial arts gear and weapons, and a red shamboo
bamboo (got Shampoo on the brain? :P)
Not really, but I wouldn't mind her on other faces -er- places... What
was that, dear? Oh, nothing...
Shamboo is a type of non-terrestrial bamboo. I snatched the term from a
sci-fi novel that I read so long ago that I couldn't even tell you what
it was or who wrote it.
"BECAUSE OF YOU I'VE SEEN HELL!!!" Ryouga screamed.
Man, this definitely alt! Normally, he'd be blaming Ranma
unilaterally. :)
He hasn't run into Ranma yet. Give him a chance...
"You heard me," Ryouga snarled. Happousai turned his grasping
hands aside with a deft flick of his pipe and tried to squirt free
of the melee.
Heh, I like your use of "squirt" in this passage. :)
It just cried out to be used!
Ryouga struck back with a desperate sidelong head butt that
knocked him back into play just as Tarou was leaping clear of
his bed.
"Save some for me!" Tarou demanded.
[...]
Obviously Tarou would like to get in a few incredibly painful blows
before Ryouga hogs all the fun of beating Happousai to a pulp.
Your Happousai is a cool customer, but it's very plausible, given
the environment in which he finds himself.
I see Happousai as an opportunist par excellence. The man is also
completely devoid of morals.
<snip>
She had spent the last week thinking of nothing other than
revenge against Akane Tendo. It had been stewing within her ever
since her defeat, but hadn't become an obsession until her stern
dressing down at the hands of her brother. His effrontery was
galling, coming from a man who had yet to defeat her in six
separate engagements!
Loving as ever, the Kunou siblings.
Ah yes. Just imagine if you will, Tatewaki packing his sister off to a
remote convent...
He scuttled off into the shadows and disappeared. When she
was certain that he was gone, she chuckled to herself. The family
ninja was useful to her for his ability to probe into Tatewaki's
plots, but she was also quite certain that he was being used by
her brother for the same thing against her, and on top of all that
was playing his own game between them. She had to admire him for
having such a zeal for intrigue, though if she ever caught him at
it she would have no choice but to see him flayed alive. She was
also certain that he knew this, which made their little games all
the more amusing.
This bit reminds of the kind of intrigue that went on Herbert's
Dune.
I'll take that as a compliment! Yes, the characters here are a bit more
intrigue-minded than in the manga, where they were just sneaky and
underhanded.
see the losers crushed under her stilleto heeled
stiletto-heeled (also, sp on stiletto)
Will correct.
that psychotic bitch Akane Tendo.
that psychotic bitch, Akane Tendo.
(pots and kettles, Kodachi)
It takes one to know one.
Hmmm, this is interesting. If, as I suspect, the pools were
transplanted from Earth, how are they kept active? On Earth, they
were fed from the magical spring beneath Jusendo, but I don't see
the remains of Phoenix Mountain nearby.
[...]
I'm playing on the idea that the water will keep its properties under
storage. The springs will not regenerate if they are lost, but under
this assumption they should remain active indefinitely if cared for on a
nice wet planet like Lightoller.
<snip>
Hrm... but when it comes to light that she did not, in fact, dispose
of Ranma and Genma, that's going to put her back in danger of losing
her favored status, and the existence of her curse being revealed
could be the straw that breaks the cat's back.
Well, we gotta have a reason for her to go chasing Ranma now, don't we?
<snip>
Who was that girl?
AKANE?! Hmmm...
DUN DUN!
"You gotta be kidding me!"
Genma ignored his son's outburst. Azure Cloud Castle sat
perched atop a gleaming white spur of solid granite halfway up
the side of Mount Aeglos. The capitol city of Gondolin lay in a
half circle around the southern foothills of the mountain,
Been boning up on your J.R.R., I see. :)
I've long been a student and admirer of his, yes.
Grand Duke Soun Tendo, middle-aged patriarch of the Great
House of Tendo, sat in his audience chamber with a troubled look
upon his brow.
And now a little Conan. :)
Tendo! What is best in life?
"To smoke cigarettes, play a lot of shogi, and to marry your youngest
daughter off to the aquatranssexual son of a vagabond martial artist
that you haven't seen since before your kids were born!"
That is good...
16:19 - Akane Tendo entering the west wing.
Ah. Now I see what that body was about.
Dun dun DUN!
One of things I really like about this so far is how the characters
are readily identifiable, but they are just askew enough to keep
things interesting. Also, their transplantation into this alternate
environment is extremely smooth. Very nice.
Thank you! Fusions are always dangerous that way. I'm glad that you feel
I've carried it off well.
A lot of pieces have been moved into place in this chapter, so it
looks the fireworks are going to go off in chapter 3. Look forward
to it!
Indeed...
Ja!
Dave
************************************
D.F. Roeder
Fanfiction - http://www.flash.net/~dfroeder/index.html
Thanks for your comments,
Jamie
--
"I choose you - PIKASPEW!!!"
Jamie to 2 month old daughter Madeline,
shortly after being spat up upon...
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