On Fri, 21 Jan 2000, Vincent Seifert wrote:
The next part of the episode... all comments welcome. ^_^
Whee!
All comments are strictly from my omphalos, and offered on an altar of
obsidian. (The Eidolons disclaimer. :)
Appropriate. ^_^
Pastpresent 6 - Tourism, Part 2
The trip to Laos stands out in my mind for several
reasons, not the least of which was my own imbecility.
Imbecility is the only label I can apply to having
willingly gone along on a trip with Takashi after the
Sumatra disaster.
{If he keeps grumbling about the Sumatra disaster, we're gonna make you
write it. :) }
Oh, Sumatra is better referred to than read. ^_^
Kiri's criminal ties made me somewhat
uncomfortable. It was pretty easy to ignore - she never
flaunted them - but it was always there, in the
background.
{I just can't stop thinking about the implied parentage of Soun's
daughters, for some reason...}
Speculation on whether or not she's Mrs. Tendo? Well, it certainly would
be possible, and would explain Nabiki. ^_-
Ignorance is never a defense, especially willful
ignorance.
{Wow. I'll bet that got snickers from Ranma & Akane as they were
reading this.}
^_^
And then there were the eight armed guerillas and the
{argh. Had to stop and slay an errant image of octopoid guards, sorry.
Or maybe they'd been forewarned twice? :) Sorry, it's just me, carry on...}
That might use rewording.
amazing sentient pond slime that served as the crew. That was
really what spoiled the atmosphere.
"...The guerrilla warfare, the communists, the mines and
{Both "guerilla" and "guerrilla" appear to be correct, but seeing both
in one text is disconcerting... :) }
I'll fix that. (I though I already had. ^_^;;;;;
"I'm my own inner child," Inji said lazily. "I look at the
world with childlike innocence, wonder, and joy. And a very
sharp knife, of course. I'm afraid my inner child doesn't play
well with others."
{heh. Nicely-turned phrase.}
Inji is sharp; in more ways than one.
"A bomb, of all things, in my car. It's not a very fancy
car, but I am attached to it." Inji shook his head sadly. "Luckily
it's hard to get good help, and someone sold out the news that
Kiri-kun here had taken the thirty pieces of silver. So I failed
to go up in a ball of flame."
{heh. I figured he wasn't using the present tense for his car by
mistake... it's obvious he survived, of course. }
Right. We get to see this in more detail later.
For one thing, the content of the conversation aside,
Genma doubted he could have drawn a knife with the speed or
{Suggest "wielded" rather than "drawn"... unless you're considering the
orange-surgery to be part of the draw, as in iaijutsu.}
See below.
Kuonji stood, beamed, and brushed a few crumbs from his
front. "Wonderful repast. Best moldy beans and rice I've had in
ages. My compliments to the chef. Have you decided on a good
story regarding Miss Nodoka?"
"Well, er, ah," Soun and Genma began.
"It appears not. I'll ask again tomorrow.
{Oh, dear. The Marx Brothers would be disgusted with those yoyos. :) }
Genma and Soun are sneaky and cunning. They're just not very good at it.
^_^
Good night
gentlemen, Kiritsubo." Inji gave them a mock bow and strolled
{I notice that he did not say "lady". :) }
Funny, that. ^_^
"Everyone but us seems to have had the pleasure of
meeting him before. Just keep on your toes, Soun. That guy's
dangerous."
"So am I," Soun said, miffed.
"Yes, but Inji's a ravening wolf to your irritated bunny
rabbit. Not the same level of dangerous." Soun began to sputter,
and Genma walked off towards the bow. "Just watch out."
{heh! The cheap shots continue... I guess only Inji can afford expensive
ones. :) }
He's got the expense account. ^_^
He sat back, confusion mixing with a sort of dull pain.
Drug dealers were supposed to be hateable scum like Inji, not
{suggest "detestable" or "abominable", perhaps?}
That's a bit wordy for Genma's brain.
"Sure it's me!" Her hand shot out, pushing him back
against the rail as she stared fixedly at him. "Do you think I do
this for a hobby? Like Nodoka and that stupid sword-art thing,
or Soun and his kung-fu kick? The law says I ain't got jack, so
screw it! I'll do what I want so that I can eat."
{suggest} so I can eat."
That does sound better. I'll change it.
He barely managed to move his hand up in time to block
her punch. His palm creaked from the impact and slapped back
against his face anyway; she was quite a bit stronger than he
was.
{REally. Interesting. Genma's pretty strong. More musing on
parentage of the Tendo girls...}
Yup. Genma's strong; slightly more so than Soun, definitely more so than
Nodoka. Kiri, on the other hand, can punch holes in brick if she really
wants to and feels like hurting her fist. She'd be a lot more dangerous if
she were actually a martial artist as opposed to someone who just
graduated with advanced honors from the School of Hard Knocks and Kicks To
The Groin.
He hesitated, trying to pick his way through the mess of
emotions and ethics lying broken in his head. "Do you still do
all that stuff?"
{Wow. I wonder if this is the beginning of the long slide for Genma. He
seems much more idealistic here than the Genma we know later... which
makes sense.}
Genma in his younger days bears some similarities to Ranma. He has a lot
of the same 'I-am-the-greatest' attitude and a bit of the mischevious
streak, but he's a lot more sober and dutiful than Ranma would ever dream
of being. This is largely due to the responsibility he has as the provider
of the family.
As for the slide... well, obviously it happens. Why? Long story, but it'll
be written. ^_^
Kiri went a little grey. "Nothing I really want to go into.
There was a lot of pain, and that pretty much sums it up. But it
could have been worse, in a lot of ways. Nothing permanently
damaged, no major scarring, no, uh, gender-related stuff. And
he didn't kill me, mostly because of his weird sense of honor."
{Hmm. Given the, um, potential implication that Inji is not a "he", I
wonder if Kiri knows it...}
Hard to say. You're asking if a character knows that another character
might not be something - a long chain of conjecture. ^_^
"That's who I am, Genma," she said in a small voice,
looking self-conscious for perhaps the first time since he'd
known her. "I'm out of the really serious stuff, but I'm still in
the game. And even the serious stuff never bothered me all
that much. Can you deal with that?"
He laughed, wondering exactly how much sleep he was
going to lose over this. "I'd hafta be really stupid not to have
noticed that you aren't exactly on the up-and-up, Kiri. I don't
like that either, but the two of us is bigger than that. Just... let
me know if you start to slip back, okay?"
{Whoa. Nice approach. It's gotta be by accident. :) Seriously, this is
very nicely done; it's a lot like the clueless way Ranma says the right
thing every once in a while, but just different enough to be its
ancestor. Applause.}
Genma's had more human contact than Ranma. And, unlike Ranma and, say,
Ukyou, Ryouga, Akane, etc, Genma's known Kiri and the others since
childhood. This makes it quite a bit easier for him to predict how they'll
react, and what the best tact to take with them would be.
"Huh." She drummed her fingers against the rail, thinking,
and then glanced up sourly. "I hate to say this, but Nodoka's
going to have to room with me. It's the only place on the ship
Inji and his goons won't barge into."
Genma smirked. "Actually, we already stuck her in there.
Poor Nodoka.
Think you two can last the trip without killing each other?"
{ My very thought. }
Poor Kiri.
Part of him was alarmed by how easily they had fallen back
into the familiar old rhythms, as if nothing had happened, and
he wondered if he could really accept her as what she was. And
he wondered why it didn't really seem to make that much of a
difference.
{ Either it hasn't sunk in yet, or his own code just... uh... adapted. }
A bit.
"Of course I do." It was the truth, too; there were few
things he enjoyed more than spending time in Nodoka's
company, just talking or sparring or... or... or doing just about
anything that didn't involve her wrapping herself around his
arm. "But I'm not really at the point in my life where I can
manage a relationship, you know? I'm busy all the time, my
heart's in the Art... if I ever get serious with someone, I'd want
to give all of myself to them. Everything, every waking
moment. I'd want to build my life around them, and I can't do
that yet." He stopped, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "There's
plenty of time. Nodoka or whoever will just have to wait."
{ Huh. I wonder how that'll change... but it sort of describes his
relationship with Ranma, later, doesn't it? Hmm. }
Genma changes, obviously. How much, though?
Genma winced, and followed her out of the ropewell. A
drop of water glistened on the rail for a second, catching the
sun and the river, then soaked into the rough wood and
vanished. Another drop, kicked up by the prow, replaced it a
few minutes late, seemingly no different than the first.
later, {?}
Ack.
No, this was definitely not fun. Although she had to admit
that it was impressive how... comradely Soun and Genma were
being. They'd been acting almost like a team for the entire trip;
back home, the same amount of time would have seen at least
four massive fights, seven loudly-shouted melodramatic death
threats, 28 insults, and at least one instance of fairly
substantial property damage.
{ Echoes of the future... can you call it "nostalgia" when it hasn't
happened yet? :) }
Pre-nostalgia?
"I didn't mean it like that," Nodoka said, irritated. "I was
serious. My idea of great literature is novels with pink covers
and bare-chested men on the jacket."
{Oh, perfect!}
Nodoka is a simple soul, with a kind heart and a perscription for hormone
surpressants. ^_^
"But Soun's a lot better than a metal sword." Nodoka
turned purple as Kiri frowned thoughtfully. "Well, probably.
Okay, nevermind, stick with the sword."
Nodoka felt her left eye start to twitch rapidly. She
calmly reached for her iaito.
{Oh, dear. It's a little odd how... sensitive... Nodoka is for someone
with her avowed, er, tastes and interests... but I guess it's more who's
saying it. :) }
Well, she's somewhat image consious, and no-one wants to be thought of as
a pervert.
"Indeed. Now we just must worry about Taka..." Soun
blinked in alarm. "Kasigi! Where did Kuno-san go?"
"Did you, hmm, want something?" Takashi asked.
{ I love the way he does that. }
Takashi knows the Ninja Art of sneaking, and the Python Art of
inspired twithood.
"It's just until we get to Luang Prabang," Genma said.
"Then Kuonji can go his way, and we can do ours."
can go ours." {?}
Ack.
"Oh, the name is just a metaphor, of course. For, hmm,
turnip fertility if I remember the journal article correctly.
Safe as houses."
{ Er, would that be the same journal that got their plane shot down? }
Probably. ^_^
"Even if such a thing existed instead of being a fever-
induced hallucination," Takashi said firmly, "It wouldn't be
"Well, that's something," Genma muttered.
"It would, hmm, be far too frightened by the terrible
hideous powers of the equally imaginary gods sleeping fitfully
beneath the surface, only lightly chained and ready to send any
trespasser into an eternity of soul-tearing agony in the cold
lands of nightmare and shadow, where the mad things of fallen
Tsygh-Shadoth lie chained in stygian darkness gnawing on the
bowels of the damned. But, of course, that's all just silly
native superstition." He beamed. "I'm off to bed. Sleep well! Ta-
ta!"
{ ! }
^_^
Genma sighed, and listened to the merry gurgling of
someone's head being stuffed in a toilet that was coming from
Kiri's room. "Never again, Tendo."
{ At the risk of igniting another irrelevant debate, I'll cautiously
point out that on ships, the toilet is referred to as the "head"... a
fact with unfortunate consequences for the legibility of that sentence,
so carry on. :) Seriously, I got the feeling that the rooms were a bit
squalid for plumbing; I would have expected a chamber-pot, or even a
hole in the deck if the cabin overhangs the waterline. But up to you. }
Point. I'll think about it.
Kiri froze. The heap froze. Slowly, she turned her head to
look.
"I'm interrupting something, aren't I?" Kuonji Inji said
mildly. He eyed the scene with interest. "Although I'm not sure
what."
{ Aiyaaa. Good thing Nodoka has the same relationship to warm blankets
that a hermit crab does to its favorite shell. :) }
Nodoka likes warm things wrapped around her.
Inji looked somewhat dubious. "I seem to recall you
ogling James Dean..."
Kiri started to open her mouth to give a firm denial, and
then the arm emerged from the heap, snaked up her leg, and...
{ BWAHAHAHA! }
At times like this, I really pity my characters. ^_^
Violence ensued. Down the hall, Kuonji Inji listened to
the crashing, shook his head, and went up to prepare for
breakfast.
{ One wonders exactly what Inji is thinking, but wondering is so much
fun one doesn't really want to be told. :) }
It's safe to assume he's thinking Bad Thoughts. ^_^
"Kasigi!" Soun screamed. "This is all your fault! You've
driven her to lesbianism!"
"She is not a lesbian, and it's not my fault!" Genma
snapped back. "He glanced at Kiri worriedly. "Is she?"
"Yes!" Kiritsubo hissed. "You've got one perverted
girlfriend... er. I have one perverted girlfriend, I mean."
{ Climb back up on the chair, Vince... there... }
The three stooges have nothing on them. ^_^
"So she's Kasigi's girlfriend as well?" Inji said. "I think
I'm getting a headache.
headache." { An excuse not to participate sounds real handy at the
moment... :) }
Ack.
Inji clucked. "This is getting vexing. Which of you,
exactly, is Nodoka's partner?"
"I am!" Genma said without thinking, and heard Kiri and
Soun say the same thing.
Then he realized exactly what Inji had asked them.
{ Ooops. }
A pity. Their plan would have worked if he was only a complete fool. ^_-
Inji spread his hands sadly. "I'm afraid I don't have any,
no. I do have some Grey Poupon, if you like."
{ Ladyfingers with mustard? Ick. :) }
Ick.
The knife moved faster than his eye could track,
whipping out of Inji's jacket in a silver arc and stabbing
towards his chest. Genma desperately tumbled to the size as
side {?}
Ack.
Inji thrust, one hand jabbing out to try to punch the
archeologist. He felt something cut a hot line along his arm,
and lashed out with a flurry of spinning kicks intended to
shield a retreat.
Inji and Genma both hurled themselves to the deck as
machinegun-fire raked the air. Crouching by the rail, Genma
machine gun fire {I think}
Debatable.
saw Kiri, Nodoka, and Soun all vanish behind the overturned
table. The guerrillas were screaming, running towards the bow,
and exchanging fire with a boat approaching from upriver.
{ Out of the frying pan, into the [machine gun] fire? :) }
Basically. Hey, faced with Inji or a gatling, I'd take the gatling.
"Nice artillery piece," Kiri said. "Looks like they mean to-"
There was an explosion, and a large part of the hostile
ship vanished in a ball of flame and wood splinters.
"Oh. Wow," Kiri concluded, eyes slightly wide. "Big gun."
{ Could be worse: could be a recoilless. :) One of the few weapons which
is almost as dangerous to be behind as in front of... }
They have enough to worry about. ^_^
machine gun sawed off the upper half of the table in a shower
of sawdust.
"Do something!" Nodoka screamed at him.
"Like what?" he screamed back. "Challenge the gatling to
single combat?"
{ Hey, it worked for Kenshin, sort of. :) }
Yes, after the Oniwa Banshu were wiped out allowing him to do so. ^_^
Genma sadly does not have an army of expendable angsty superfreaks to run
interference.
"KASIGI!" Soun bellowed. "Shield Nodoka with your body!"
He paused. "I mean, no! Shield her with someone else's body!"
{ hehehehe! }
Poor Soun. Of everyone in the series, I think he changes the least between
now and the manga.
They hastily scrambled down the hatch. Above them,
flames began to spread across the deck.
The hatch emerged in one of the holds, where Takashi
{Well, technically it's the characters who are "emerging", so suggest}
The hatch led to {or perhaps} The hatch opened into
Point.
was fumbling with a pair of long metal cylinders attached to a
steel rowboat. Nodoka and Kiri had already taken seats inside
it. Lacking any better ideas, Soun and Genma ambled over to sit
across from them.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Silence fell, punctuated only by the not-terribly-distant
{ One might even say insufficiently-distant. :) }
One might. ^_^
sound of screaming, automatic weapons, and concussion
grenades.
"What is sitting here supposed to accomplish?" Genma
finally asked.
Nodoka shrugged. "Takashi told us to get in. It's a better
plan than ours."
"Why, what was yours?"
"We didn't have one."
{ I dunno, some plans are worse than no plan. :) }
And this may be one of them. ^_^
With a roar, the two surface-to-air missiles intended for
sale to the Viet Cong ignited, lurched once, and then soared
into the inferno, taking the boatload of screaming martial
artists with them.
{ Oh, my. If only you could get the budget to film this. It looks great
projected on the screen of my imagination. :) }
I'd be happy with a manga version. Expect it the same time Hell freezes
over, sadly.
* * * *
The captain of the government patrol boat was not a
happy man.
{ I get the feeling he has not yet begun to anguish. :) }
Give him time.
The second boat in his flotilla was a burnt-out wreck,
one of the support choppers had been shot down, and the
guerrilla craft was still exchanging fire with them. His men
had taken the deck gun out of commission, but the pirates were
stubbornly hammering away with automatic weapons and an
anti-air gun instead of doing the intelligent thing and
anti-aircraft { ? There is a tale, almost certainly apocryphal, of a
telegram sent to the Kremlin by a Middle Eastern, er, client state which
was having difficulties with the Israeli Air Force: "Stop sending
surface-to-air missiles. Send surface-to-aircraft missiles." :) }
^_^
stupid to realize it yet. He would educate them.
"More fire to the aft!" he shouted to his gun crew. The
{or perhaps} "Shift your fire to the stern!"
Is that more nautical?
crew chief snapped off a hasty salute and began bellowing
orders at his men, who swiveled the tiny artillery piece to
bear on the rear of the pirate vessel. A few more hits, and
resistance should be over...
"What does, <AAAAAARGHDAMNYOUTAKASHIYOUBASTARD>
{suggest omitting comma:} does <
Mm.
mean?
mean?" { BWAHAHAHA! }
The captain opened his mouth to hazard a guess, and then
the horrible screaming thing burst from the water like a
pyrotechnic dolphin, landed upon the surface in a shower of
water, and bounced screaming down the river like a demented
weasel on drugs.
It was a feeling I'm sure you're familiar with, son.
The gut feeling that you're better than this guy, that you
can beat him... but he isn't giving you time to figure out
how to do it. My first duel with Inji was like that. He was
so much faster than I was, and that was it - I had all the
advantages except the one critical one.
{ Ha! The inspiration for the Saotome Secret Technique! }
One of them.
She'll never become what I'd hoped for; it's much too late
now. I suspect it was done on purpose, though it didn't
completely work.
{ Hmm. Intriguing. }
Old Genma likes talking in riddles, doesn't he? ^_^
No, she'll never be what I hoped for, but it may be
that she is something much better.
{ I wonder in what sense of "better" he means that... of course, he's
being deliberately vague. }
Of course. ^_^
The longer you let them fester, the more they will
hurt when the inevitable revelation occurs. Think of the
wounds you and Akane inflicted on each other for over a
year. Think of the day on Jusendo, the second worst
in Jusendo, {I think. "Magic spring cave" may refer to the mountain
containing the cave too; it's hard to tell... }
moment of my life. Take this lesson to heart.
{ Wonder what the worst was. Somehow, I doubt it's Sumatra...}
Nope. Definitely not Sumatra.
And watch Kasigi Genma and his friends as they
roar, screaming in terror, down the Mekong. Poor boy. The
trip isn't over yet...
Ours either. Tone was a bit uneven, perhaps, but not detrimentally so; I
was expecting more of the hilarity of the last part, only to be
presented with the urbanely vicious Inji and the serious confrontation
between Kiri and Genma. After a while I began to think that the whole
chapter would be like that. However, the levity returned soon enough,
and was probably the funnier for the change of pace. I will be
visualizing the Flight of the Pyrotechnic Dolphin for some time, I
think, and giggling unaccountably to the consternation of innocent
bystanders. :)
The series as a whole can switch from serious to comic and vice versa,
often fairly quickly. While much of it is funny (I hope), it is the story
of Genma's life - and considering how it turns out, it would be too much
to expect that it's all happy and light.
Thanks for writing and sharing!
Thanks for responding. ^_^
Vince Seifert Fanfic Analyst FFIRC Frog
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- Susan Doenime
Brisbane, U of Q
"I hit the streets / They watched me in the monitor..."