Somewhere in the middle of the whole EVA "thingy"...
Shinji's Training
Scott S. "Zoogz" Jamison
The alarm klaxons blared as N.E.R.V. went to full alert. However, Major
Katsuragi wasn't too thrilled with the news from the staging room.
"Asuka and Rei have reported, and are getting in the plug-suits, but
there is no sign of Shinji sir."
"Did you check his quarters?"
"One moment, we're getting the information..." A long pause and a couple
hummed bars of 'Fly Me to the Moon' later the attendant replied, "No, Major.
He is not present anywhere."
"Dammit! He's never failed to show up for a major attack such as this!"
Misato motioned to the monitor displays, showing yet another Angel ripping
up streets and causing general mayhem. "Maybe Gendo knows where his own kid
is."
After explaining the situation to the control room, she searched out
Gendo in his office. "Sir, two of the three children are heading towards
the plug assemblies in the EVAs, but there is no sign of Shinji. Have you
any clue where your own son is?"
The question stumped Gendo momentarily. "Son... oh, yeah, that kid
Shinji. Well, we were having some down time, and he had been complaining
about everything for the last three months. I figured that since I was such
an exemplary parent, it would be fine for him to try something different.
Just a second, I'll remember where I sent him yet."
As Katsuragi finished facefaulting, Gendo pulled a newspaper out.
"That's why I've been keeping this here." He motioned towards a circled
advertisement. "This is the place where Shinji is. He said he wanted a
different activity than chasing Angels all the time..."
Misato squinted at the advertisement. "Master Happosai's Dojo for the
Martial Arts," she read aloud. "There's no other information than that.
Did you check this place out?"
Gendo steepled his fingers, and gave another glare. "No, it seemed
safe."
"Sheesh! You didn't even check this 'Dojo for the'... wait, it says
'Dojo for the Marital Arts'!"
With a wave of the hand, Gendo dismissed her statement. "It is just a
simple typo, nothing else. He'll be back in two weeks... if I'm not
mistaken."
As Major Katsuragi left the room, she cursed Gendo and his lack of
information. "He must've sent Shinji off
*today* for me not to know about
it... And if we can't handle
_this_ angel, it is so relieving to know that
Shinji is ready to get into EVA-01 and save this world..."
Two weeks and two days later...
Cries of "Hotcha!" and "Sweet-o!" were being heard through the halls as
Misato and Ritsuko were heading towards the Evangelion deck. Ritsuko looked
at Misato and asked, "Is that Shinji's voice I'm hearing?"
Misato looked toward her with bleary eyes. "Yes, he's been like this
ever since he returned."
Ritsuko fixed a look at Misato's face and said, "He's been like what?"
Misato shook her head. "He's turned into the most perverted little brat
I've ever seen before. He's already stolen my underwear, and he's been
carrying a sack of who knows what on his back for two days straight. And
for some reason, he insists on tying a bandanna around his head."
Just then, Shinji ran into the flight deck. Rei, Asuka, Hikari Horaki,
even Maya Ibuki were chasing him with various implements of destruction.
Brooms, frying pans, rakes, shovels, even the occasional mallet was ready
and poised to strike. Shinji kept running, however, and made his way across
the flight deck to where Misato and Ritsuko were talking.
"Hotcha! Two more! Wow...," Shinji yelled, and pulled out a notebook.
"Oh, yeah, that's my next line. What a haul!" Misato and Ritsuko were in
the process of looking surprised when Shinji glomped Ritsuko. "Hey darling,
there's some more hot love where that came from!"
Ritsuko looked at him, fire burning in her eyes. A split-second later, a
foot that was previously at rest came into motion and interacted with
Shinji, accelerating him faster than the speed of gravity and creating a
velocity that took him to the rafters and beyond. "Dry up and DIE, Shinji!"
Misato looked at her, bleary eyes framing a weak smile. "See what I
mean?"
Ritsuko flared at her companion. "Aren't you going to do something about
this?!"
Misato brightened up. "Well, we were able to find a student who said
that he'd take care of him. He's an older guy, but maybe Shinji needs some
stable influences."
The girls chasing Shinji had exited the building by this time and the
women on the EVA deck could hear signs of a struggle. Ritsuko, meanwhile,
looked relieved. "C'mon, the details! Where did you find him... and for
that matter, who is he?"
Misato responded, "He rode up to the guard station on his bicycle and
said he was looking for employment... oh, his name? I believe it's Kintaro
Oe."
--- S. "Zoogz" Jamison
--shuddering at the thought that not only did Happosai survive the Second
Impact, he's cranking out replacements...
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