As promised... and extremely belated...
Ignore any duplicated efforts from other C&C'ers...
I DREAM OF RANMA
Well... I dream of onna-Ranma, but that's hardly surprising. :)
Episode 4:
5
My Dinner With Kasumi
Sounds like a Freshman Composition assignment... :P
On Thursday, Ranma was introduced to a weekly tradition at the
Tendo household.
"Leftover night?"
"That's right, Ranma." Nabiki crossed the Tendo living room,
sliding down onto the floor next to him. "Every other Thursday,
Kasumi
takes the night off and goes out, leaving the rest of us to fend
for
ourselves."
Ranma set down the Giant Killer Robots of Death manga he had
been reading. "Really? Where's she go?"
GKRoD? Now if I only had known the name of robot-manga artist, I
could've really been witty. :P
"We don't know." Her smirk told him that he'd just won the
Stupidest Question Of The Week award. "She always leaves plenty of
food,
so no one will starve." She set a glass of water on the floor
between
them. "Lucky for me, though, I'll be dining out tonight, thanks to
a
certain genie who owes me a favor."
Sighing, he picked up the glass and poured it over himself. "All
right, wish away."
Nabiki crossed her legs together, swiveling around to face him.
"Yesterday, I sent off a letter to a certain young man. You may
know the
type: very rich, very handsome, very full of himself."
"Kuno?"
"Kuno-chan only *wishes* he had this kind of money." She
chuckled. "But as for me, *I* wish for my letter to find its way
to its
intended recipient, without being intercepted by the servants that
screen his mail."
"Servants screen his mail?"
"Oh, yes. Hired by his father." Her expression became serious,
almost intense. "It's a tough world out there, Ranma. Loving
parents
have to protect their son from unscrupulous gold-diggers."
"I don't get it," he said. "Why bother going out to dinner with
him? Why not just wish for him to give you money?"
"You probably wouldn't understand, Ranma." She smiled
enigmatically, as if to say, I'm a puzzle; you'll never figure me
out.
"Geez, just askin'." He stood up. There really wasn't any need
to stay; the wish would work just as well with him upstairs.
"Wait, Ranma," she said. He turned. She gazed up at him, her
eyes full of a sympathy that he didn't believe for a second.
"Maybe I am
being a little unfair to you. Tell you what: I'll give you a
little
something to make up for it."
"Really? What?"
"I wish you had a martial arts trophy."
A statuette appeared in his hands, a gi-wearing man of metal,
standing atop a wooden base. "Huh? What's this for?"
"It's for you, Ranma! Isn't this why you go through all that
trouble to find new and better ways of beating people up? So that
you
can get things like this?"
"But... it's not MINE!"
"Sure it is! I'm giving it to you. It's a freebie, even. You
don't owe me anything for it."
"But I didn't *defeat* anybody for it!"
"You sure you don't want it?"
Ranma nodded.
"Oh well. You had your chance! I wish it was gone." She tapped
the trophy with her finger, and it popped out of existence like a
punctured balloon.
Ranma picked up his manga and tried to remember what page he'd
been on. No matter how hard he tried, there were some people he'd
*never* understand.
Hrm... Nabiki's being as oblique, ungenerous, and crafty as ever.
This was a strange but interesting scene: lot's of overtones for the
future concerning Nabiki and, by extension, other, less-scrupulous
persons.
***
"Is your foot well enough for you to walk home?"
Akane turned. Dr. Tofu stood in front of his clinic, the stone
overhang above shielding his head from the late afternoon sun.
"Oh, I'm
fine." She smiled. "It doesn't hurt at all anymore, thanks to you,
Doctor."
"All right." He waved. "Take care, Akane."
Sighing, she walked on down the road. She wasn't in the mood for
going home and eating leftovers; a bowl of noodles at one of the
local
diners by herself seemed more appealing. Maybe she would just walk
for a
while, and see where she ended up.
Her foot stung a little as it hit the ground, the sensation
increasing with each step. Okay, so she had lied when she'd said
it
didn't hurt anymore. But it was fairly minor -- at least compared
to the
other pain she felt. The one that came when she thought about Dr.
Tofu,
and Kasumi, and herself. A chronic ailment, it flared up when she
watched Tofu go into fits around Kasumi, knowing that little Akane
Tendo
would never, ever be able to inspire the same reaction from him.
What good would telling the truth do? *Yes, Doctor, I'm afraid
this patient seems to be suffering from acute lovesickness,
coupled with
terminal stupidity.* A psychomatic
New! From Ronco!
psychosomatic
illness, really. The only cure was
for her to simply to
omit the last "to"
accept the truth -- that Doctor Tofu loved her
sister, not her. No matter what she did, she'd never see him go
crazy
for her the way he did for Kasumi.
Of course, that wasn't quite true. There were no 'nevers,' not
as long as the Tendos had their own resident genie. Akane's mind
reeled
at the thought. Tofu could be utterly and hopelessly devoted to
her, to
the point of worshipping the ground on which she walked. Just a
few
words to Ranma's cursed form was all it would take.
Well past the point of no return, Akane.
The sidewalk along which Akane was walking came to an end as she
reached Shogyo Street. She turned right, and houses and trees gave
way
to rows of shops. Appalled at her own thoughts, Akane stared
sheepishly
at the passers-by, almost expecting them to chastise her. How
could she
even think of using a wish to control Tofu?
Never mind that Ranma was such an idiot that he'd inevitably
screw up any wish she made. Never mind that she'd be stealing from
her
*sister* -- the sister who probably probably deserved it less than
any
other person in the world. Using magic to make someone love you
was just
*wrong.* And what would be the point anyway? He wouldn't *really*
love
her -- the magic would only make him think he did.
And he would no longer be the Tofu you have the crush on.
Still, part of her refused to completely let go of the idea.
Okay, so a lifetime together with Tofu as husband and wife was
just out.
Genie or no genie, that wasn't going to happen. But she could,
just
once, get him to act around her the way he did in Kasumi's
presence.
Maybe if, just once, she were to hear his voice stutter and see
his eyes
glaze over and his fingers uncontrollably shred whatever he
happened to
be holding and know that it was because of *her,* it would relieve
some
of the pain she felt.
*sigh* Akane *really* doesn't understand how her feelings work.
Maybe. Maybe not. The idea of using Ranma's powers for this was
frightening, not only because of all the ways in which it could go
wrong, but because of the limitless possibilities if the magic
*could*
be made to work right.
She could do it. The only problem, really, was that Ranma would
know what she had done. He'd never let her live it down. Just the
thought of how he'd tease her about it made her cringe. And she'd
deserve it.
Then it occurred to her; Ranma wouldn't have to know anything.
She could do it in a way so that he'd never find out.
It was wrong. That was the bottom line, the only consideration
that mattered.
And yet, as she passed by a row of phone kiosks, she found
herself walking toward one of them....
ARGH! The road to Hell is also paved with "once couldn't hurt".
***
"Oh my gods.
Suggest: "Oh, my gods.
You're really here. On the phone, I mean. You
really got my letter. I mean, this is just too cool. I can't
believe I'm
really talking to you!"
Ranma had to marvel at Nabiki's acting ability. Her voice
shrieked and squeaked as if there were nothing between her ears;
but her
eyes, glancing warily at him like a predator, told the truth. Or
at
least what he thought was the truth.
"You're kidding. Oh my gods. You want to take me out to dinner?
Me? TONIGHT? Oh my gods, I think my heart just stopped. You really
mean
it?"
On second thought, ignore my immediately previous comment. The way
you have it looks more dialogue-ish.
Her mouth curved into a malicious, triumphant smile as she
listened to the telephone. Ranma considered going upstairs and
changing
back; Nabiki had gotten what she'd wanted from him.
"I'm not sure. I'll check. Hold on a minute, 'kay?" She cupped a
hand over the receiver and switched back to her normal mannerisms.
"Hey,
'Ranko.' How would you feel about a double date?"
"Um... I dunno. What's it mean? Two dinners in one night, or
something?" That didn't sound too bad.
"Nope. It means two men going out with two women on the same
date. In this case, the two men are my little patsy and a
schoolmate of
his to whom he apparently owes a favor."
"And you want me to be... HEY! I ain't a woman!" Ranma said.
Nabiki continued to stare at him stone-faced. "Forget it. I ain't
dating
with a guy." Not by choice, anyway. He had dated with Kuno, but
Kuno had
wished for it and there was no way out of it.
"Ranma, it doesn't bother me if you'd rather stay here and warm
up leftovers for dinner. But I really can't see what your problem
is.
It's not as if we'll be doing anything... distasteful... with
these
gentlemen. We'll simply let them buy us expensive dinners, plus
whatever
else we can squeeze out of them, after which we'll break their
hearts."
"I ain't no con artist, like *some* people." While Ranma didn't
particularly care about these guys, whoever they were, he had
nothing
against them, either.
"Ranma, Ranma, Ranma. Think of all the poor, innocent little
girls that these boys have taken advantage of. This is not
maliciousness
for the sake of fun. This is just retribution. This is an evening
of the
scales."
Suggest "balancing". "Evening" parses like a time of day here.
"It is?"
"Yes, it is. And it's also free food."
"Well, when you put it *that* way...." Ranma had to admit that
the thought of a big dinner at a really good restaurant appealed
to him.
What could it hurt? How much trouble could this guy be anyhow?
"Okay,
I'll go."
Nabiki nodded, and took her hand off the phone. "My cousin Ranko
will be happy to go with us," she said, returning to her airhead
schoolgirl voice. "Oh, I'm so excited! See you soon, Mr. Mendo."
O_o Now Ranma has *two* stickboys to play with! Wheeeee!! :)
She hung up the phone and ran her eyes across Ranma.
"Right. Obviously, you can't go in your genie outfit." She
looked thoughtful for a moment. "There was a dress I was looking
at
yesterday, two o'clock, at the store. I wish you were wearing a
copy of
that dress, sized to fit you exactly."
Ranma looked down at himself. A Chinese-style dress had replaced
his usual costume. Glossy red with yellow trim, it hugged his
feminine
curves tightly, opening up below in leg-revealing slits on both
sides.
"That's better," Nabiki said. Ranma tried to quell his
embarrassment with thoughts of how good that food was going to
taste.
"Now, I've got to go up and change my own clothes before they get
here."
The phone rang.
Nabiki picked up the receiver. "Hello?" She paused to listen.
"Yes, he is." Her head turned towards Ranma. "Yes, he is. Want to
talk
to him?" She held the reciever out toward him. "It's Akane."
"Hello?" Ranma said into the phone.
"Ranma, there's something written on a piece of paper in front
of me." Her voice sounded a little sheepish. "I wish it would
happen the
way it says."
"Huh? What's goin' on, Akane?"
"Noth--" She cleared her throat. "Nothing." Her voice sounded
unusual in a way that Ranma couldn't place. Then the dial tone
buzzed in
his ear. "Geez, don't say bye or nothin'."
"What was that all about?" Nabiki asked idly.
Ranma shrugged. "No idea."
***
Hanging up the pay phone, Akane glanced at the reflection in the
shiny metal panel by the coin return. The wish had worked. For the
next
two hours, this was what she'd look like.
Her heart thundered in her chest. She couldn't believe she'd
actually done it. There was only one thing to say now.
"Oh my!"
Heh.
***
Muted conversations rumbled
"rumbled" doesn't seem to really go with "Muted conversations."
Murmured?
through the restaurant. With eyes
downcast, waiters in white jackets and black bowties pushed carts
carrying domed trays. Nabiki and Mendo sat on one side of the
table,
with Ranma and Mendo's friend on the other.
Ranma was having second thoughts about the whole thing.
It wasn't the dress that bothered him. The first few times he'd
worn girls' clothes, they made him feel like throwing up; but now
he
didn't mind at all. Now, he was able to think of "Ranko" as a
different
person. Ranko was wearing the dress. Not him. And there was
nothing
wrong with her doing that, because after all, Ranko was a girl.
And your losing a little bit more of yourself with that kind of
thinking.
No, the dress didn't worry him. But his date -- what was his
name again? -- was another matter.
"So, tell me about yourself." Mendo's friend smiled slyly at
Ranma. "Do you have any hobbies? What are your measurements?"
Mendo raised an eyebrow. "Must you be so crude, Moroboshi? You
treat fine delicacies as if they were instant ramen. Women like
Nabiki
and Ranko should be admired as works of art."
ATARU?! A *friend* of Mendou's?! Hrm... Alt, definitely alt. :)
"I *like* instant ramen,*
"
Moroboshi grumbled.
"What a way with words you have, Mr. Mendo." Nabiki glanced into
the menu, and her eyes widened. "Ooh! Look at the wines they have.
I've
always wanted to try some of these!" She looked up at Mendo.
"Order any of them that you wish, my dear." Mendo ran a comb
through his already immaculate hair. "Your enjoyment will be far
more
valuable than the cost."
term confusion? I don't think cost can be considered valuable. "Your
enjoyment is worth more than the cost of mere wine." ...or
something.
Warning bells began to ring in Ranma's head. Nabiki was trying
to con Mendo into buying things for her. That meant that he had to
put
up with Moroboshi, at least a little. Otherwise he'd blow the date
for
Suggest: Otherwise, he'd...
both of them; and Nabiki could very easily make his life miserable
in
return.
"Um, anyway, you asked about my hobbies?" Ranma, forcing a smile
onto his face, said to Moroboshi. "I do martial arts. Y'know,
combat and
stuff."
"The physical type, eh?" Moroboshi slid his chair close to
Ranma's. "I admire that in a girl." His hand began to inch toward
Ranma's breasts.
Ranma's foot lashed quickly out, sweeping Moroboshi's chair out
from under him. His back slammed into the ground with a thud that
did
nothing to dimish the silly grin on his face.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Ranma said with mock sincerity. "My martial
self-defense training makes me automatically throttle any boy who
gets
too near me. I can't do anything about it."
Moroboshi sat up, his expression suddenly sympathetic. "You mean
you have to do that every time? Even with a guy you really like?"
Don't get your hopes up, bub. Ack! He could accidentally wish for
it, though. Yeeeee!!
Ranma nodded, laughing silently. Now Moroboshi would have to
stop groping him, and he'd be able to eat in peace.
"That's horrible!" Moroboshi's face flared with determination.
"As a gentleman, it is my duty to help you overcome this problem."
"Huh?" Ranma blinked. "How?"
Moroboshi sprang forward and wrapped his arm around Ranma's
waist. "By letting you get used to it!" Ranma's fists began
pounding on
him, but he held on with an iron grip.
Ataru's life bears remarkable semblance to the training for the
Bakusai Tenketsu. :)
***
Akane knocked on the door.
Maybe no one was home. Maybe Tofu was out, and no one would
answer her knock, and she could just leave. She'd go for a quick
dinner
at some out-of-the-way cafe where no one would recogize her. The
two
hour
two-hour
time limit she'd put on the wish would run out. She'd go back to
normal before anyone saw her and word got back to the real Kasumi
that
she was somewhere tonight where she wasn't and she put two and two
together and realized what a rotten thing her little sister had
been
doing.
I take it Akane has forgotten that tonight is Kasumi's night out. :)
The door opened. Akane found herself staring directly at her --
or rather, Kasumi's -- reflected image in Tofu's glasses.
"H-hi," she stammered. On the way over, she'd come up with a
whole slew of cover stories to explain why Kasumi was visiting
Tofu; but
they'd all vanished from her mind the moment he'd opened the door.
"H-hello, Doctor."
"Hi, Kasumi." Tofu moved to the side, clearing the way for her
to enter. "Come on in." He didn't seem the least bit surprised to
be
seeing her. Why wasn't he going into one of his fits? Did he
*know?*
Could he tell by looking at her, by some inner sense, that she
wasn't
the real Kasumi?
Hrm.... methinks a rat doth lurk.
Akane beamed as Kasumi-like a smile as she could manage as she
stepped inside. Tofu closed the door behind her. A flight of
stairs
stood just inside the doorway; Akane walked up them and into the
apartment that was the second floor of the doctor's clinic. The
apartment was quite small, with a low central table the only item
of
furniture. Cabinets lined one of the walls, and bookshelves
another. A
sink and kitchenette occupied one corner. A closed door stood near
the
entrance.
Somewhat nervous, Akane waited as Tofu climbed up the stairs.
She had to get out, but she couldn't simply leave now -- not
without
giving him a reason for why she was there in the first place.
She'd ask
to borrow something, perhaps a book; then she could return it as
herself
the next day and say that Kasumi asked her to.
A knock echoed from below. "Huh?" Tofu said. "I wonder who that
could be. Excuse me for a moment, Kasumi." He turned and descended
the
stairs. Curious, Akane leaned over and peered down.
The door opened. Hearing a familiar voice, Akane immediately
pulled open the nearby door and ducked into the other room.
You're right, Akane. It didn't turn out like you thought it would,
heh.
***
"Kasumi?! How-- What--"
"Hello, doctor." She smiled warmly at him. "May I come in?"
"But-- but you're *already* in!" Tofu blinked his eyes several
times, then stared at the person in front of him. It was Kasumi.
Kasumi
was down here, with him. But how could she be, when she was just
upstairs?
Kasumi giggled, as if Tofu had made a joke. Suddenly noticing
that he was standing in her way, he jerked aside to let her pass.
She
stepped across the threshhold, shutting the door behind her, and
began
walking up the stairs. Tofu quickly glanced out the window, half
expecting to see Kasumi outside, and then followed her up.
"Kasumi... you didn't come up here earlier, did you? A few
minutes ago?"
"Of course not, doctor." She looked quizically at him for a
moment, then giggled a bit. "I'll get started on the cooking. Why
don't
you go get changed for dinner and then relax for a while?"
Tofu nodded. He was still wearing his work clothes; after
finishing the day at work, he had taken a nap in them, and not
woken up
until Kasumi came to the door. Came to the door the first time,
that is.
Unsure of what he expected to see, he opened the bedroom door a
little hesitantly. The room looked the same as it always had. His
bed
was still unmade from the after-work snooze he had taken. Sounds
from
the kitchen penetrated the walls, the rapid-fire slamming of knife
into
cutting board.
Tofu slapped himself on the forehead. Of course. It was so
simple. When Kasumi had knocked on the door, he was still
half-asleep
from his nap. So, obviously, he'd dreamed about walking downstairs
and
letting her in before her second knock woke him up and he actually
did
it. He exhaled a long, relieved breath. Kasumi wasn't teleporting
around, and he wasn't going crazy.
No so fast, there, Doc!!
He opened the closet door to fetch a change of clothes. From
inside, Kasumi looked up at him, smiling thinly.
Carefully, Tofu slid the door closed. He paused for a few
seconds.
"KASUUUUMIII!"
***
"Thank you, sirs, madams." The waiter collected the menus,
tucking them neatly inside the crook of his arm. "I'll be right
back
with your Hors D'oeuvres."
A lump throbbed painfully on the back of Ataru Moroboshi's
skull. Ranko sure was... spirited. Ataru admired that in a girl.
He only
wished she could use her energy in a way that was less... painful.
*laughter!*
On the other hand... could it be, he wondered, that the martial
arts thing was just a lie, an excuse for her to fend off his
advances?
Could it be that she simply didn't like him?
Naaaah. Of course it couldn't. How did such a silly thought get
into his head? It was probably Lum, sending him messages from
space.
Fortunately, she wouldn't be back to Earth for another couple of
weeks.
What is it about lechers that make them top-notch rationalizers? :)
Still... maybe it would be better to take it a little slower,
Ranko was obviously a shy, delicate flower of a girl.
Suggest: Still... maybe it would be better to take it a little
slower; Ranko was...
Being too forward
might scare her off. Better to talk to her, say some really smooth
things.
"So," Ataru said, "do you have any hobbies? Come here often?
What do you want to do after high school? What's your favorite
color?
What do you do for fun?"
"Um... martial arts, no, martial arts, dunno, and martial arts,"
Ranko answered.
*Reader slaps his forehead*
Mendo smirked derisively. "Your conversational skills are as
finely-honed as ever, Moroboshi."
"Easy for *you* to say," Ataru grumbled. "The babes go after you
just because you're so rich. I wish *I* had... MMMBGPH!"
A facefull of Ranko's hair cut off Ataru's words. Her head
nuzzled up against his face. Her arms tightly hugged his chest.
Finally,
she'd gotten over her inhibitions. What a brilliant idea it was to
talk
to her!
Heh!
"Your appetizers, sir. Sir. Madam. Madam." The waiter set four
plates on the table as Ranko slipped quietly back to her own seat.
Ataru leapt over, grabbing for her chest. "Oh, Ranko!"
"AAAA!" Ranko picked up a plate and smashed it forcefully over
Ataru's head. The room spun a little around Ataru as he fell to
the
floor.
Yep, he thought as he dragged himself up. Definitely spirited.
***
Cramped inside the dark closet, Akane listened as voices
resonated through the walls.
"Doctor, don't be silly." A suppresed giggle. "I'm not in your
bedroom; I'm out here."
"But... but you're in there, too! In the closet! I saw you!"
"Of course I'm not in your closet, Doctor." Footsteps. "Here,
I'll show you."
Akane's stomach trembled. She had hidden in the closet, hoping
that the doctor wouldn't open it. But now Kasumi would see her.
Knowing
what Ranma's powers could do, she would inevitably put two and two
together. And there was no way to get out in time.
Closing her eyes, Akane screamed a silent cry for help, though
she had no idea who she expected to hear it. *I'll never do
anything
like this again. Please, please, get me out of here before my
sister
finds out what a rotten thing I tried to do.*
A crack of light appeared as the door began to slide open.
***
"So, Ranko, uh... what are your measurements?" Moroboshi asked.
"I'm a hundred and seventy centimeters tall." Oops, Ranma
thought. That was how tall he was as a guy. Oh well. Hopefully
this guy
wouldn't think about it.
"What kind of restaurants do you like to go to?"
"Um...." Ranma considered. "Dunno." Were there different kinds
of restaurants? He'd thought they were all the same. "I don't go
out to
eat much."
"Don't the guys at your school take you out on dates?"
Ranma shook his head.
Nabiki looked up from her plate of food. "All the boys in
Ranko's class are hung up on my sister Akane," she said, mumbling
her
words slightly. She took a moment to swallow her food, then
continued.
"There's none left for poor little Ranko."
"Whoa, really?" Moroboshi's eyes widened, and his mouth dropped
open in a way that Ranma found disgusting. "Your sister must be
really
sexy!"
Nabiki smiled a bit, as if laughing inwardly at some secret
joke. Ranma hmphed. There was nothing funny about any of this. And
he
was a *lot* sexier than some stupid tomboy.
Yep, that's our Ranma, all right.
Moroboshi beamed a crooked smile at Nabiki. "I wish I could meet
your sister."
D'oh, Ranma thought. He'd been so cheesed off that he'd stopped
paying attention. He looked around the room and saw Kasumi
standing
behind Moroboshi.
Nabiki turned. "Oh, hello, sis!" She lowered her voice. "Sorry
about this. It's Ranma's... you-know what again."
Kasumi blinked a few times as her eyes scanned the restaurant,
and she nodded in understanding.
"This is your sister?" Moroboshi spun around in his chair,
leering at Kasumi. "I can see why all the boys are...."
"Not the sister I was talking about before, no,*
"
Nabiki said,
interrupting him. "This is Kasumi, the eldest of the family.
Kasumi,
this is Shutaro Mendo, and Ataru Moroboshi."
"Charmed, my dear." Mendo bent over to kiss Kasumi's hand.
"Clearly, beauty is inherent in the genes of the Tendo family."
"Er... thank you." Kasumi pulled back away
Suggest: pulled back -or- pulled away
from Mendo; her lip
curled for the briefest second, as if this guy disgusted even her.
"Actually, I just came to speak with Ranko for a moment. Would you
all
excuse us?"
Heh, with wishes, timing is everything. :)
***
"You see, doctor? I'm not in the closet."
Tofu slid his clothes from one side of the closet to the other.
There was nothing else there. Of course there wasn't; how could
there
be? But he'd seen her. With his own eyes, he'd seen Kasumi inside
the
closet. There was only one door, no way she could've gotten out
without
him seeing it open.
"Doctor...." She took ahold of his hand. "Maybe you should talk
with Dr. Senmonka about this?"
"Kasumi, it's... it's not like that!"
She stared at him with wide, attentive eyes. "Like what?"
"Kasumi...." Tofu felt his face fluster. A dull ache pounded at
the back of his skull. "I know that I... lose control... when
anyone
else sees the two of us together. But not when we're alone!"
"Shouldn't you go see the doctor, Doctor?
Uh... "...doctor, Doctor?" Intentional gag? :)
Just to let him know
what's happening?"
Tofu forced a smile onto his face. "Kasumi, I'm fine." He was a
doctor, not a patient. "Let's have dinner, all right?"
Sounds like Tofu has some issues...
***
"Sorry about this, Kasumi," Ranma whispered, pointing his thumb
back toward the restaurant table. "That idiot over there
accidentally
made a wish that brought you here."
Akane studied his expression cautiously, searching for any
suspicion or recognition. Nothing. As far as he knew, she was
Kasumi.
"So..." Ranma said apologetically, "I guess you gotta just wish
yourself back to wherever you were before."
"All right. But first...." Akane couldn't resist seeing how far
she could go with this. Let's see; how would Kasumi phrase it?
"Would
you mind if I asked you something, just between you and me?"
"Um, sure, that's all right."
"Ranma, how do you...." Akane swallowed, feeling a nervous lump
in her throat. "How do you feel about my sister?"
She better hope that her two hours doesn't end soon...
"Just between you and me?" Ranma paused, sighed, and continued
in a near-whisper. "I'd be happy if I never had to have anything
to do
with her again."
"Oh." Akane wanted to either cry or break something; she wasn't
sure which. Why did it matter? It wasn't like she really cared
what a
jerk like him thought anyhow.
"I mean, sure she helps me out of trouble, but it's only so I'll
let her make wishes. And I ain't forgot about those pics of me she
sold
to Kuno. And...."
Oh. "Ranma?"
"Hm?"
"I meant my other sister."
"Oh yeah. Akane? She's, well... I mean, I...." Ranma blinked
several times as his gaze drifted over towards the wall.
*He likes me,* Akane thought. *He really does like me.* She
wasn't sure whether she should be happy about it or not.
"I guess she's all right. For an uncute tomboy."
"Oh my. Ranma, you'd better not let Akane hear you call her
that."
"Heh." Ranma smirked like a child who had just gotten away with
being naughty.
"Because if she heard you, she'd probably say something like 'I
wish a frying pan would appear and strike you forcefully over the
head.'"
A loud clang resounded through the restaurant.
LOL
***
"Oh dear." Kasumi covered her mouth with her hand. "Are you all
right, Ranma?"
Ranma staggered to his feet. "No broplem!" The room started
spinning counter-clockwise around him. "Pro noblem!"
And he fell back down again.
:)
***
A quick wish later, Akane was back in Tofu's bedroom, still
somewhat irritated at Ranma. Okay, so fooling him with her Kasumi
disguise may have been a dirty thing to do. But why did he have to
be
so... immature? It was a simple question. Either he liked her, or
he
didn't. Why couldn't he just stop acting like a jerk and tell her?
Then
she could decide how she felt about him.
Voices carried through the walls. "Is the food all right,
Doctor?"
"It's excellent, Kasumi. You've really outdone yourself."
Out of the frying pan, into... the frying pan. She still needed
to get out of Tofu's apartment before the time limit that she'd
attached
to her wish expired. Maybe she could sneak out the door quickly
enough
that Tofu and Kasumi wouldn't notice -- but if it wasn't the right
moment, then she'd be caught. Tofu by himself she might be able to
bluff
her way past; but Kasumi knew what Ranma's powers could do, and
would
either figure it out or tell someone else who would. No, better to
wait.
Maybe she should've just wished herself home, or at least
outside. But what would happen when Ranma went back to male form?
She
wasn't quite sure how that worked. Popping back into Tofu's
bedroom in
the middle of the night would be just a little difficult to
explain,
especially when she wouldn't be disguised.
*Some genie you are, Ranma,* she thought to herself. *Here I go
and make a wish, and it brings nothing but trouble.* A tiny voice
inside
her told her that from all the legends, wishes leading to nothing
but
trouble was pretty normal for genies; she did her best to ignore
it.
And conveniently ignoring her responsibility for having wished it in
the first place... very Akane.
"Doctor, are you all right?"
"I'm fine, Kasumi. Really, I am. Just a little headache. I think
I'll go take some aspirin."
Akane's eyes fell across Tofu's dresser, and she noticed the
half-empty bottle of aspirin atop it.
Eep.
***
Tofu began to push open the bedroom door, then hesitated. His
head hurt, as if a vice were clamped to his temples, being twisted
ever
tighter by the minute. An aspirin. That was what he needed. Just a
couple aspirin, and a little water, and it would be all right.
Dishes squeaked behind him as Kasumi scrubbed and dried them
with lightning efficiency. For a moment, he wondered if she might
be
right. Perhaps seeing a specialist *would* be a good idea. Perhaps
there
*were* reasons beyond simple nervousness for his... erratic
behavior
whenever someone else saw him together with Kasumi.
No, of course not. As he'd told himself many times, there were
doctors in this world, and there were patients. Tofu had made up
his
mind long ago to be a Doctor. Doctors didn't get sick; they helped
sick
people get well.
Yeah, right.
After all, there were logical explanations for what he'd seen --
or rather, what he'd thought he'd seen. The power of suggestion.
He'd
had Kasumi on the brain already. Looking into a shadowy closet, it
was
no wonder that his mind registered her as it had looked at
whatever was
really in there.
His headache pain beginning to subside to tolerable levels, he
pushed his way into the bedroom. No, he certainly wasn't
hallucinating.
It was silly of him to worry about it.
A hand holding a bottle of pills greeted him. "Here's your
aspirin, Doctor."
"Ah, thanks, Kasumi." Tofu nodded as he accepted the bottle. He
turned around and stepped out, letting the door swing closed
behind him.
No, he certainly wasn't going to see any... any more....
The bottle slid out of his hands and dropped into the dishwater
with a 'ploop.' "AAIIIIEEE!" he screamed.
LOL LOL!!!
***
"So, would you go to a movie with me sometime?" Moroboshi asked
Ranma. "Especially one where the room is really dark?"
Ranma sighed quietly. Was there *anything* short of revealing
his true gender that would deter this guy?
Nope!
Hmmm. Maybe there was. It might not work... but it was worth a
try, anyhow.
"If I go out with a guy, he has to be faithful to me. You know,
give up on everyone else. That's not a problem for you, is it?"
"A problem?"
"Yeah." Ranma beamed a coquettish smile at him. "You're not the
kind of guy who would cheat on me, are you?"
Indignation crept into Moroboshi's voice. "You actually think I
would be so low as to date other girls behind your back?"
"Er..." Ranma couldn't come up with a response.
"Of course not. I," Moroboshi proudly proclaimed, "would
*openly* date other girls. That's the kind of guy I am. What
nature has
blessed me with is a natural resource that should be shared for
the
benefit of as many as possible."
*laughter!* How does one respond to that? With mallets, shinai, and
other assorted implements? :P
"Is there not an ounce of respect within you, Moroboshi?"
Mendo's expression showed disapproval, but also perhaps a touch of
jealousy; as if to say *people like you who think they're the
gods' gift
to women are annoying to those of us who really are.*
This must be a recurring theme for Takahashi.
Since we're having Rumiko's Old Home Week, should we expect a visit
from poor college students and the boarding house managers they
love? Schoolgirls and dog demons? Bits of mermaid flesh? :P
"Mr. Mendo?!" Nabiki gaped with a horrific expression that was
sure to win her Best Actress of the Year. "What kind of boy *is*
this
that you've exposed my poor little cousin to?"
"Fear not, my dear." Mendo nonchalantly ran a comb through his
hair. "I would never allow this lout's touch to soil one as lovely
as
dear Ranko."
"Hah. You haven't got anything to say about it. I'm gonna date
Ranko." Moroboshi grinned. "And Nabiki!" Nabiki shuddered with a
revlusion that somehow seemed genuine to Ranma.
I smell a fight!
Mendo ignored his classmate and stared directly at Nabiki,
smiling confidently. "I can see that this boor's behavior has
upset you.
After we are finished dining, let us visit Waridaka's department
store
and search for something to cheer you up."
Waridaka's now owns Macy's...
"Ooooh!" Nabiki's voice squeaked with girlish excitement.
"Waridaka's? Really?" So much for genuine, Ranma thought,
wondering
whether he'd need to ask the waiter for a barf bag.
Moroboshi chuckled evilly. "I wish Nabiki's sister was here.
Then I'd date with her, too!"
Behind him, Kasumi popped out of nowhere. Ranma and Nabiki
sighed in unison.
Okay, rule of threes, right? :)
***
"What did you want me to see, Doctor? It looks like there's
nothing in here."
"Exactly, Kasumi. There's *nothing* here! If you were in here
while you were out there, that might mean that I'm hallucinating.
But
you aren't! And this proves it!"
"Doctor... maybe you ought to get some rest?"
He's going to see the head shrinker even if it kills "Kasumi". :)
***
Leaning over, Nabiki whispered in Ranma's ear. "I wish Kasumi
was right back where she was a minute ago."
Ranma looked back at where Kasumi had appeared, and did a
double-take. She was still there.
Ah, the operative difference between "Kasumi" and "your sister".
Nice.
Nabiki blinked in surprise. "Did you blow a fuse or something?"
she breathed irately.
"Heck if I know," Ranma whispered back. "It's always worked
before." Of course, he had no idea how or why it worked, or what
kind of
things might make it stop working.
"Look." Nabiki spoke in the short, clipped tones of someone who
was dealing with an idiot. "See that person? The one over there?"
She
pointed at Kasumi. "I wish for you to put her right back where she
was
before you teleported her here."
Kasumi vanished. Ranma and Nabiki both breathed audible sighs of
relief. And Ranma began to wonder....
FINALLY!!! Ranma really needs to catch a clue, but then, he wouldn't
be Ranma.
***
The sales clerks at Waridaka's followed the four teenagers as
they strolled through the store. Ranma tagged along, not
particularly
interested in any of the merchandise. He had other things on his
mind.
"Oh wow!" Nabiki's eyes widened as she stared at a piece of
jewelry in a glass case. "That is *so* cute!"
Mendo nodded almost unnoticeably at one of the clerks, who took
out a key and opened the case.
"For *me?*" Nabiki gasped in amazement. Ranma had to admit that
he'd been wrong about her; she definitely deserved Best Actress Of
*All
Time.* This was the last time he would play her game. Next time he
got
into trouble, he'd get out of it without doing business with her.
Famous last words...
"Hi, I'm Ataru," Moroboshi said to the clerk. "What time do you
get off work?" She ignored him. All the clerks seemed to pay
attention
to Mendo and only Mendo, as if they could instinctively sense that
he
was the one with the money.
The telling trait for any good sales clerk...
And wheels began to turn in Ranma's head.
He went back over what he knew so far. Fact: Akane had made a
wish before dinner, not telling him what it was. Fact: Akane had a
crush
on Tofu, but Tofu only had eyes for Kasumi. Fact: Two wishes that
should've teleported Akane to the restaurant had both brought
Kasumi
there instead. Fact: A wish to send Kasumi back had failed for no
apparent reason, but another -- one that hadn't referred to her by
name
-- had worked.
Suddenly, it all made sense. The answer was simple. He resisted
the urge to laugh out loud. Clever, Akane. Really clever.
I just KNOW he's reached an erroneous conclusion. It would be
non-canonical if he didn't. :P
But not clever enough. Ranma made a mental note to stay in
cursed form until he was home and had a chance to talk with Akane.
After
all the crap he'd put up with this evening, finally here was
something
he was going to enjoy.
***
"I'd really better go, Doctor. I'll see you next week, all
right?"
Watching surreptitiously from the bedroom through the
cracked-open doorway, Akane shouted silently at her sister. Go,
already!
The time limit she'd set on her wish was going to expire... any
minute
now. According to the digital clock on Tofu's dresser, it was 7:27
PM.
She knew that she'd made her wish sometime around five-thrity,
thirty,
but when
precisely? "Sometime around" wasn't anywhere near good enough. Why
hadn't she checked and remembered the exact time? Idiot!
Like she's made transformation wishes before.
"Goodbye, Doctor." Kasumi smiled and waved at him. "Sleep well!"
She turned, and her footsteps receded down the staircase to the
exit.
Tofu stepped over to the refrigerator and opened the door,
peering inside as if selecting something to drink. Akane saw her
chance,
and slowly pushed the door all the way open. Time to get out now,
while
Tofu wasn't looking. Maybe a better opportunity was coming up, but
she
couldn't risk waiting for it -- not while the magic might change
her
back to herself anytime. Getting caught in Tofu's place as Akane
was
something she wouldn't be able to bluff her way out of.
She crept forward as silently as she could manage. She felt
disgusted with herself, sickened by everything she'd done. No
more.
Because of some silly schoolgirl crush on Doctor Tofu, she'd
forced her
way into his home, then let him think he was going crazy while she
hid
like a kid trying not to get caught by the teacher. No more. All
she had
to do was get down the steps and out the door. Then the time limit
on
the wish would expire, and she could go home.
An inner voice scolded Akane. *Next time you use your genie, I
expect you to do it in a responsible manner, young lady.* When she
was a
child, teachers used to lecture her like that about fighting.
She'd
thought that once she was older, no one would talk to her like
that
anymore. Boy, had she been wrong.
Tofu turned around, holding a pint of milk, and shut the
refrigerator door behind him. Akane froze as his eyes met hers.
And she did the only thing she could do.
"Goodbye, Doctor." She smiled and waved at him. "Sleep well!"
Turning, she descended the staircase.
Stepping outside, Akane closed the door and walked away. From
inside, a scream erupted.
"ALL RIGHT! I'LL GO SEE THAT SPECIALIST!"
LOL. Akane was on the ball.
***
Ranma staggered through the sliding door into the Tendo home.
After an evening of fending off Moroboshi's gropes, it was an
incredible
relief to get home. It would be even more of a relief to pour hot
water
over himself, to watch this stupid dress disappear and be back in
his
regular clothes and body.
But, he noted to himself as he saw who was coming through the
door behind him, there was something else to do first. Something
that he
was looking forward to even more.
"Oh, hi, 'Kasumi,'" he said, emphasizing the name. "How'd your
night out go?"
She smiled. "Very well, thank you."
Ranma had to admit that she played the part well; he'd have been
fooled if he hadn't figured it out already. "Say, 'Kasumi,' do you
know
where that black sleeveless shirt of mine is? I mean, being the
one who
does the laundry, you'd know that, right?"
"Why, yes. It's in tomorrow's wash. Did you need it right away?
I could do a load tonight if you do."
Enough was enough. "Did you *really* think you could fool people
with this?"
She stared at him, puzzled. "I'm sorry?"
"You TOMBOY! How could you for a *second* think that *anyone*
would fall for...." Ranma felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He
glanced over to see who it was. "Oh, hey, Akane. Hang on a sec."
He
turned back to "Kasumi," who stared at him as if he were a madman.
"Let
me tell you something. A girl as uncute as you has as much chance
of...."
Ranma stared at Kasumi. Then at Akane. Then back at Kasumi. Then
back at Akane again.
"Uh oh."
Hah! Well, he did get it right, but of course, he'll never know.
Perfect. You've restored my faith. :)
"RANMA!" Mr. Tendo stormed into the room. "How dare you speak to
Kasumi like that?" His head began to expand to demonic
proportions.
"Er, well, you see, that is...." Ranma tried to think of
something to say, and drew a blank.
"Dad, it's my fault!"
All eyes turned. "Akane?"
"I accidentally wished that Ranma would go insult someone else
instead of me. Should've known the idiot would pick somebody like
Kasumi."
Ah, guilt's a wonderful thing...
"Ah, that explains it." Mr. Tendo laughed. "Better get some hot
water and cancel that wish, eh, son?"
"Good idea. Sorry about this, Mr. Tendo, you, uh, you uncute
tomboy."
In the kitchen, a hot kettle already sat on the stove. Akane
followed Ranma in.
"Um... thanks for the save, Akane," Ranma said as he lifted the
kettle over his head.
"You're welcome," she answered, smiling sweetly. "Say, since you
have that arrangement with Nabiki, does this mean you owe *me* a
wish
now?"
Ranma sighed.
"Oh, don't worry." She chuckled. "I won't wish for anything
bad."
Hrm... didn't learn her lesson very well, did she?
Very nice, all around, Gary. Look forward to the next.
Ja!
Dave
************************************
D.F. Roeder
Fanfiction - http://www.flash.net/~dfroeder/index.html